A disengaged 20-something journeys back into the world of living. *Disclaimer: The thoughts expressed are my own and do not represent the views of City Year or AmeriCorps.*
Everything, Everything is the story of 18-year-old Madeline Whittier who hasn’t left her house in 17 years. Maddy has severe compromised immunodeficiency (SCID), a rare genetic disorder that requires her to stay indoors to avoid the allergenic triggers of the outside world. Her contact with others is limited, as anyone who visits her must undergo a thorough physical and spend an hour decontaminating before stepping foot in her home.
Because her father and brother died in a car accident when she was a baby, Maddy only has contact with her mother (a physician who manages her case) and her nurse, Carla. Though those restrictions would drive most people insane, this is the only life Maddy has ever known and she seems quite content with her circumstances.
That all changes when Olly and his family move next door. As he and Maddy begin an illicit friendship online, she realizes that maybe there is more to life than simply staying alive...what if she were to step into the unknown and truly live? She keeps the secret of her budding attraction from her mother, and with the help of Carla, is able to let Olly into her world.
I expected to really like this book but ultimately thought Maddy was quite a boring and underdeveloped character. It is surprising that she is so well-adjusted after years of isolation and I would have appreciated more insight into her feelings during that time. Especially as a voracious reader who was indirectly exposed to many different lives, did she really not feel a sense of loss that she could not venture outside?
I enjoyed the illustrations peppered throughout the text but was left wanting by the end of the book. But I do plan to check the movie that is supposed to come out in May 2017; I’m curious to see how the visual medium can flesh out the story.
Counts towards: 2017 Women Challenge, 2017 PoC Reading Challenge
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The Complete Persepolis is Marjane Satrapi’s fantastic graphic novel/memoir about her experiences growing up in Iran during the Islamic Revolution. It is the compilation of two volumes and covers her childhood, her struggles living alone in Vienna as a teenager, and her subsequent return to Iran as a young adult.
My words cannot do Satrapi’s story justice. It, nay, she, is remarkable. She appears to be a compelling character from the start; as a spunky 10-year-old she was aware of her parents’ political involvement and demanded to join them as they protested in the streets. While reading, I was in awe of her resilience and humor in the face of deep conflict, as well as her forthrightness in admitting her mistakes and flaws.
Satrapi achieved something profound and decidedly feminist when she published this book. Here is a war that was so heavily distorted by the media on all sides, and she retells it as it happened through her own perception, and even has the talent to depict events and figures pictorially, compounding the emotional impact.
If you are interested in learning more about the Islamic Revolution, or simply want to read a tale of a strong, complex, and badass woman, I highly recommend this book.
Counts towards: 2017 Women Challenge, 2017 PoC Reading Challenge
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking - Susan Cain
In Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, Susan Cain utilizes interviews, anecdotes, and scientific research in order to normalize introversion for the masses. Though some may have heard a lot of this information before, I found it useful to have so many introversion-centered findings compiled together in one text.
Introversion--along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness--is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology.
The book starts off by delving into our nation’s history to explore how we developed the “Extrovert Ideal” when we previously idolized the stoic and thoughtful. Next, it covers the biological basis of personality and the debate between nature and nurture in its development. Cain then suggests we cannot presume that the “Extrovert Ideal” is “innate to humanity” because certain cultures have build their civilizations around compassion and honoring relationships; each way of being has its benefits. The last part of the book is devoted to introverts in relationships, and offers suggestions for educators and parents of quiet children.
According to Little, our lives are dramatically enhanced when we’re involved in core personal projects that we consider meaningful, manageable, and not unduly stressful, and that are supported by others.
I am grateful to Cain for writing this book and only wish it had been around during my stormy adolescence. My younger self could certainly have benefited from seeing her personality displayed in such a positive light.
“By the time I was old enough to figure out that I was simply introverted, it was a part of my being, the assumption that there is something inherently wrong with me. I wish I could find that little vestige of doubt and remove it.”
I would recommend it to anyone interested in personality psychology because Cain’s writing is accessible and nuanced, and she avoids promoting introverts at the expense of their more outgoing peers. Rather, she aims to educate readers on the benefits of this personality type and show quiet folk that they are fine just the way they are.
Counts towards: 2017 Mount TBR Challenge, 2017 Women Challenge
You Can’t Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain - Phoebe Robinson
In You Can’t Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain, stand-up comedian and podcaster Phoebe Robinson discusses her everyday experiences as a black woman. The essays focus on a variety of topics including: being the token black friend, casting calls for people of color, being called “uppity,” being followed around stores by security guards, etc.
In every black person’s life, there’s a moment when they go from believing their blackness merely serves as another descriptor, like ‘she has a slight overbite’ or ‘he snorts when he laughs,’ to their blackness and all the complications surrounding that identity becoming the number one thing that defines them.
Prior to reading this book I was not familiar with Robinson’s work but was interested in hearing her perspective on race. While I did enjoy her more serious reflections and appreciate her love of comedy and entertainment, I unfortunately could not get past the pervasive “internet-speak” and heavy-handed pop culture references.
And I’ll let you in on a little secret about what other black people rarely say: Explaining your life to a world that doesn’t care to listen is often more draining than living in it.
Perhaps this means I am not the intended audience, but I wonder if the book would have benefited from a more critical editing process to smooth out the tone and overall structure. Despite my stylistic hang-ups, I believe Robinson is an insightful writer with a strong voice and am interested to see how her work progresses in the future.
Black parents, for the most part, do not have the warm fuzzy place inside of them that some white parents have. That ‘it’s all a part of the journey’ chill vibe is missing, and in its place is a sense of urgency. There’s no time to figure it out, make crazy mistakes, and have a laugh, because they know the playing field is not level. They know that at some point in life, their children will learn and keep relearning this fact, so there is no room for lollygagging or navel-gazing. That’s why, I think, black parents are so hard on their kids. It’s not just about potential bragging rights. While that’s nice, what truly matters is that we be the ‘yes’ to the ‘no’ their parents heard.
Counts towards: 2017 PoC Reading Challenge, 2017 Women Challenge
What horrified me was not so much the individual demagogue, but to watch … [the] swelling numbers of his followers—to expect, for instance, that listening to that kind of rhetoric [from] a would-be leader of peoples, that crowds would diminish. But they did not. … It’s like seeing a people in a different light for the first time…
…But I think that that temporary summit of black equality, this symbolic ascendancy of Obama, [suggested] that social consciousness in a progressive way would be the norm. Mr. Trump’s campaign was a sharp, deliberate reversal, almost as if Barack Obama had just been tolerated all along.
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After a decade of marriage, if things go well, you don’t need any more proof. What you have instead — and what I would argue is the most deeply romantic thing of all — is this palpable, reassuring sense that it’s okay to be a human being. Because until you feel absolutely sure that you won’t eventually be abandoned, it’s maybe not 100 percent clear that any other human mortal can tolerate another human mortal.
Heather Havrilesky, "What Romance Really Means After 10 Years of Marriage"
I had come to see language as an almost supernatural force, existing between people, bringing our brains, shielded in centimeter-thick skulls, into communion.
Throughout college, my monastic, scholarly study of human meaning would conflict with my urge to forge and strengthen the human relationships that formed that meaning. If the unexamined life was not worth living, was the unlived life worth examining?
Brett Morgen’s Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck is a companion book to his 2015 film of the same name. In both versions, Morgen interviews Kurt’s family, an ex-girlfriend, Courtney Love, and bandmate Krist Novoselic. He frames the words of Kurt’s loved ones around the singer’s visual art and personal recordings, allowing Kurt to speak for himself even in his absence.
I was a big Nirvana fan in high school and was familiar with much of Kurt and the band’s backstory prior to reading this book. However, I did learn a lot about Kurt's dysfunctional childhood, and how his broken ideals of having a loving family influenced him throughout his life.
Another thing that surprised me was how ambitious and hard-working Kurt was regarding his art. His family recalls how, since childhood, he was constantly creating in his free time. It was cool to see this for myself, as the book intersperses a progression of his artwork with the interviews. They also discussed Kurt’s contradictory desire for and discomfort with success, and revealed how determined he was while promoting his early music.
Kurt Cobain is very much a legend at this point, and it’s important to take any biography with a grain of salt. His loved ones are opening up more than 20 years after his death and their recollections are likely a mix of accuracy and distortion due to the effects of bias and time. Kurt himself was known to exaggerate or straight-up lie to the press in service of his own mythology (contrary to popular belief, he actually did not live under the bridge as suggested by “Something in the Way”).
That being said, Montage of Heck does provide great insight into his character by utilizing his personal artwork to create an “experience” rather than a fact-based life story. It is deeply humanizing and I found many of Kurt’s insecurities to be quite relatable; for someone who felt so alienated, he has left an incredible legacy of connection.
Challenge runs from January 1, 2017 to January 31, 2018.
Since I love traveling, why not join the European Reading Challenge and tour the continent via the written word? I’ve signed up at the Five Star (Deluxe Entourage) level and am required to read at least 5 qualifying books.
Here’s the gist of the challenge: “The idea is to read books by European authors or books set in European countries (no matter where the author comes from). The books can be anything – novels, short stories, memoirs, travel guides, cookbooks, biography, poetry, or any other genre. You can participate at different levels, but each book must be by a different author and set in a different country – it's supposed to be a tour.”
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Challenge runs from January 1, 2017 to December 31, 2017.
Towards the end of last year, I started a local International Authors book club because I wanted to cultivate a more diverse reading experience for myself and any interested members of the community. I was pleasantly surprised at the positive response which both validated and fueled my sense of purpose.
To make good on my mission, I’ve signed up for the PoC Reading Challenge at the level of 5th Stack (read 25+ books).
The challenge states: “Any book (by any author) with a main character that is a person of color qualifies for this reading challenge, as well as any book written by an author of color. The goal is to encourage readers to have a more diverse reading experience and to support diversity in the publishing industry by reading and reviewing books by or about persons of color.” This is probably the one I’m most excited about.
Here’s my list of reviews:
You Can’t Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain - Phoebe Robinson
Challenge runs from January 1, 2017 to December 31, 2017.
Of the 30 books I read last year, roughly 24 of them were written by women. I’d like to continue that streak and commit to reading a variety of female authors in 2017. I signed up for the Women Challenge at Level 4: Wonder Woman (read 20+ books by a female author). Here’s my list of reviews:
You Can’t Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain - Phoebe Robinson
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking - Susan Cain
Challenge runs from January 1 to December 31, 2017.
So I have a book-buying problem. Too many tomes are just piling up and chilling on my shelves, unread for months/years.
Therefore, I have decided to curtail all book-buying for at least 6 months, unless a book is required for school or my book club. Extreme, I know. But all I have to do is stop attending used book sales, which is where all my purchases take place.
To reduce the number of books I own, I will read at least 25 books from my TBR pile and donate each copy afterwards (unless it turns out to be a new favorite).
Luckily, I found the Mount TBR Reading Challenge which I hope will keep me on track. I’ve signed up at the Mont Blanc level (at least 24 books from my TBR pile). Here’s my list of reviews:
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking - Susan Cain
Ireland’s Cliffs of Moher, where I was blessed to spend my New Year’s Day.
I love beginnings. I live for novelty, anticipation, and delving into the unknown. Unfortunately I tend to lose steam quickly and lack any real conviction to see most endeavors through to an end. I’ve floated by like this forever, but I think it’s time to make a few changes if I’m to grow at all this year. Instead of getting carried away by grand ideas for resolutions, I’m keeping it simple. I’ve identified a few key areas for improvement and debriefed them to see where I am now and where I want to be. Without further ado, here are my goals for 2017:
1. Act with urgency
I procrastinate A LOT, to my own detriment. It’s like I’m incapable of completing a project without the urgency of time as motivation. It’s crazy how, looking back, I can trace the consequences of previous passivity and/or procrastination because those choices affect me still. I pride myself on being a reliable person but I have consciously been sabotaging myself and my reputation at work with my poor choices. My goal for this year is to act with urgency, rather than waiting for things to become urgent.
2. Read more
I aim to read at least 52 books this year, a goal I did not achieve in 2016 after succumbing to several reading “slumps.” Thanks to the International Authors book club I started a few months ago, I now have greater motivation to read consistently, critically, and diversely. Also, I plan to post book reviews on this blog since I’ve been missing all the literary writing and reflection I did in college.
3. Be curious
Over the past few years, I’ve become increasingly apathetic and it’s taken a heavy toll. I hate how my mind has dulled, and I’ve decided my only option is to break the spell through the pursuit of questions and answers. I’d like to regain a sense of child-like curiosity and wonder about the world and the people in it. This will manifest in a commitment to reading the news daily and staying up-to-date with current events (a necessity in this current political climate); consuming more art; and saying YES to trying new things (even if they’re a bit uncomfortable at first).
4. Get healthy
This one encompasses physical exercise, dietary choices, and mental health. I’ve signed up to run a marathon this summer (*gulp*) so I’ve got no excuse; it’s time to shape up and commit to an exercise routine. That means overcoming my discomfort and getting up early to hit the gym before work. It means being conscious of what I’m putting in my body and taking my health seriously (prevention is key!). As for my mental health, I need to maintain a work-life balance with sufficient alone time and focus on overcoming my apathy. I need to improve my own well-being if I am to care for anyone else’s.
5. Create
Most of my interests are fairly passive (i.e. reading, watching TV/comedy, running) or expensive (i.e. traveling). This year, I want to develop my skills in watercolor painting, sketching, and cooking. Note: I have zero experience in any of these. But I am motivated to try because it’s important to exercise my creativity and make something tangible.
6. Reflect and grow
It’s not that I’m not a reflective person; I definitely am. It’s just that I don’t think my reflections have been contributing to any positive changes because I’ve focused on the negative for too long. Although I have grown this past year, no true foundational shifts have happened because I’m stuck in the same patterns. Journaling has been an inconsistent habit but it is consistently a meditative act. I’m making a daily commitment to journal in my new Moleskine; I hope to use use my reflections to better myself in the coming months, as well as document my inner struggles and triumphs for posterity. You only get one go around, you know?
Well, there you have it. I’m pretty happy with these selections and think I’ve outlined very reasonable aspirations. I considered adding another about being less shy but...nah. I figured the ones I’ve chosen will help me develop a stronger disposition and confidence, which will ultimately cause me to be less shy.
So many years of education, yet nobody ever taught us how to love ourselves and why it's so important.
Unknown
This quote encapsulates the limits of the educational system. We are inundated with the ideas of others and required to perform rote memorization. We are taught to blindly obey authority and strive for that “A.” But to what end?
Even after leaving school, many of us go through the rest of our lives without identifying our own values, believing in our self-worth, or understanding our place in this world.
It is clear that without a sense of purpose or self-love, we suffer. And the world suffers with us when we fail to unlock our full potential, when we hide our light because no one ever showed us it’s okay to just glow.
This is one of the many reasons I joined City Year. To be a source of encouragement for young souls who may not yet know their greatness. And in the process of validating the journeys of others, I hope I can do the same for myself.
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Mistakes have been made.
It's hard to know where to start. Things have been a mess for so many years that trying to pin down a starting point is like trying to figure out where your skin starts. All you can ever really know is that it's wrapped around you, sometimes a little tighter than you'd like.