Wheatinism

Wheat Is The Way

No there is no back-up account either. If I decide to make a stand alone account for Wheatinism then I’ll post a link on here for anyone who cares.

Wheatus is totally cool with being horny. Wheatus also doesn’t kinkshame. He sees nothing wrong with masturbation and he views it as a healthy practice. Wheatus loves you all.

Wheatus put that food on your plate. He doesn’t need to be thanked. Your thanks towards your family and friends is worth more to him than any thanks you could give him.

I must respond by asking, have you ever had super greasy garlic bread? That grease is made from the sweat of Wheatus. Your garlic bread was blessed, have a good day.

It’s pretty Ş̶͐̅c̴̪̊r̵̺̙͒̓û̶̢̌m̴̨̭̒̎p̴̜̌̽t̸̟̃͘í̴̡̺͒õ̵͕̼̋ų̶̎́ś̶̺

It’s just science

As many of you know, the heavy rains brought good omens to you all. It seems that Wheatus is feeling starved and you all quenched his taste for crops. Now you should all see healthy wheat in need of harvesting in the next months. Now, the nightly festivities shall go on as planned because of this beautiful weather. If anything it’s a little hotter than I’m comfortable with, but it’s the weather that Wheatus chose for today so I can’t even begin to think about complaining. From the bottom of our all hearts, the heads of the Wheatinist Church would like to thank you for your contributions to our service. And, without the further ado, as marked by tradition, the post-sacrificial festival.

We will commence the ceremony of the rise of the wheat next Wednesday.