Hey,Hi,Hello!

I saw this post on instagram, an this hits home.

3 years ago, I was in the same boat, I have a lot of frustrations; that my mood gets affected and being the empath and hyper sensitive persona that I am, it was affecting my perceptions, I though it was just hormones-due to postpartum, and I was feeling depress, frustrated, lonely mad at myself I always question if I was the problem, since all the feelings that I have at that time and the actions that I have been doing was newness. I have never felt that way before, and I don't really know how to react, and I hate the feeling that I was feeling. Then the moment of break that much need, the time away from my "abuser- narc" got me that sense of relief but at the same time still felt a little guilt because I have to take that time away, but deep down I know that I needed it, it was all weird to me because I was trying to understand my abuser, I thought he was just having a tough time and I needed to be there for him despite the emotional torment, harsh words that came from him. All along that guilt feeling that I have is because of him, I didn't know that what to call it, and how to explain it. But truly I was bottling this anger inside. It's like a feeling of drowning.

I was feeling guilty because I was angry, I was not kind to myself I hate myself for having that feelings towards someone. It's very toxic. But now I realize that "anger" was of a healthy kind, that it was my minds response to not tolerate the maltreatment any longer.

Fast forward to this day, I'm still thriving, but I can breathe a little, as I have learned how to establish good boundaries, and would no longer accept to be mistreated. I still practice kindness, but won't tolerate any longer as this I know helps the abuser to realize; if they don't, then that's on them and not in me.

To the common people: Truth is unnerving, Hope is a burden, and Communication is a bother.

They don't know what to do with FREEDOM

I only loved, open my heart and gave everything but all I got in return is a broken heart.

I got so blinded and because of that I was foolish.

How do I get out of this mess? It wasn't easy to walk away if there will be an innocent one that can be affected with my decision?