Liebe ist für alle da

J.D. Salinger, A Boy in France

I have noticed that one of the differences between a human and a tree or a stone or a mountain is that humans do not sit still very much. They are always running around doing many different and important things. (Like shopping in a súpermarket, or taking little humans to a school where they learn how to be big humans.)

Because they are always running around, humans sometimes bump into each other.

That is why they invented the word “afsakið”. 

I have noticed that many humans have very many feelings about what other humans should do. They think that it would be better if the other humans would do what they are told to do. 

“Auglýsing” is an Icelandic word for something that they make if they are very serious about this. 

It means “advertisement”, and when they have made it, they put it on your tele-vision, and your inter-net, and even on your shirt. That way, you will see it, and do what they are telling you to do. Especially if the auglýsing is töff.

When humans think one of them is very wise, they say that this human is “vitur”. That means they have a lot of “vit” in their head.

And if they are wise enough, they get an award.

But when a human thinks another human does not have any *vit* in their head, they say that this human is a *vitleysingur*. 

It means that they are not wise. They are just a “wit-less-person”. 

Wit-less humans can also get an award, but they do not get the same award as the wise humans. And sometimes they just get their own “reality tele-visions”.

Halló.

I have noticed that when young humans talk to other young humans, they often call them “gaur”, even though this is usually not their real name. 

Like when you say:

“Ég hef aldrei séð aðra eins frysti-kistu, gaur”, or 

“Ertu búinn að skila skatta-framtalinu, gaur?”, or

“Gaur, það er kominn tími á að vax-bera þennan Barbour jakka.”

It means “dude”.

There are many different types of gaurar. The people who help me with this internet do not really know all of them, even though they are very clever.

A “klikkaður gaur” is someone who has just done something very interesting with his skate-board or his snow-board.

A “góður gaur” is someone who will buy you a bjór or drive you to töff places in an auto-mobíle. 

And “Gaurinn” means “The Dude”.

Halló, this is Iceland.

Because humans are very small and not very strong, they invented “rafmagn”. It means “electricity”, but do not be confused. It is not a city.

They use rafmagn to help them do many things.

For example, they use it to light up their streets at night so they do not have to see the stars and feel small.

They also use it to feed their inter-nets, and to talk to their friends on a sími, and to make pönk rokk, and something called a búgalú. 

Many humans think rafmagn just comes out of their walls by itself. This is not true. Before the rafmagn can come out of their walls, they first have to make it. They do this with a big machine that can turn waterfalls into rafmagn.

But even though not many humans really understand rafmagn (or even notice it), I have noticed that they all become very angry when their rafmagn stops coming out of their walls.

I have noticed that no human wants to be alone.

This is because of how they are made.

They always want to be with other humans and do human things with them, except when they are in a bath-room.

If two humans dance together with their feet often, and like to kiss each other very much with their mouths, they are in a “samband”. 

Humans like to think that they are big and strong and that nothing can hurt them. 

This is not true. Humans are small and helpless and sometimes lost. Not only the small ones, the big ones too.

Because they are so small and helpless and sometimes lost, they need a shelter to make them feel less small and less helpless and not so lost.

When they are in this shelter, they say they are “heima”.