some fucking idiot

Edit (March 2nd 2024): I somewhat mentioned this in the first of several apologetic posts, but I was only aware of the ad about the hostages and never knew that the #StopJewishHate ad even existed when I made the original post. Still, it doesn’t really make that post any better or justified as I was still ignoring the suffering of actual people.

Not that long ago, for four hours, I let myself become a mindless fucktoy of the ‘totally not nazis’ antisemitic assholes. Those few hours were enough for me to spout the dumbest, most bigoted shit and watch it spread to all the other assholes. How pathetic of me.

There’s a lot of ways to describe the person I was when I posted that. A mindless moron, a parrot, a fucking idiot who can’t think for himself. These are quite accurate.

I may have admitted I was wrong and made attempts to fix what I started, but what I did cannot be undone.

Of course, there’s the assholes that took that bigoted conspiracy that I spouted and liked and reblogged it as ‘truth’, thus allowing it to spread to over a thousand notes…and still counting. They have given me a voice that I didn’t fucking deserve. I can’t tell if those people believe the same shit I did out of ignorance (like myself) or outright intentional malice. Even the bigoted asshole me from only a few days ago hated that it would be the most popular post before he even posted it.

I already said this before, but I do want to genuinely thank everyone who spoke up against the shit I mindlessly posted. The people who are trying to stop assholes using the Isreal/Palestine conflict to justify antisemitism deserve the attention that I got. Seriously, thank you for making me think for myself.

After the whole incident, I have looked at various perspectives from both sides of the conflict on tumblr. While I consider myself somewhat better informed, I don’t have all the answers. It’s hard to believe anyone on social media, because you never know if they’re just lying just to pressure you into joining a side without second thoughts.

So, what now?

To repeat, it’s impossible to undo the shit that I’ve caused. All of the following posts where I admitted I was wrong and absolutely fucking stupid will never get as much attention as glorified hate speech.

I despise how much attention I got for being an ignorant asshole, but deleting the post altogether feels too cowardly.

I’m completely open to suggestions on what I could do, as long as it doesn’t involve demanding the death of one side while ignoring the immoral actions of the other. But for now, I have considered taking a long break from the hellhole that is modern social media. People think too highly of themselves to ever consider themselves wrong or to listen to anyone who may disagree with them.

Before all of this, I had promised myself that I wouldn’t mention the conflict on my tumblr page. Is that selfish? Maybe. But after letting myself be controlled by YouTube rage-bait and bigoted idiots, it would’ve been better.

No one in the argument is immune to this, it’s just a constant loop of ‘who deserves to die?’

Why isn’t ‘nobody deserved this’ an answer? I guess it wouldn’t make a good hashtag.

Innocents are being punished for something they had no control over, whether it being attacked for their ethnicity or being outright killed, while the people responsible get away with it. This isn’t exclusive to one side, your side has probably done this, and you probably let yourself fall into it. There are no angels here. Hell, I’m not an exception either, I let myself be a pawn in this crap.

I’m tired of it. Getting out of that shitty simplified mindset has been more of a burden than a blessing, because now I just keep seeing the same people doing the same thing I did, including those that criticise them. It’s an endless loop.

Although, I feel that hiding the evidence is cowardly. Someone somewhere is going to bring this up eventually, so I might as well make sure that people know what happened instead of letting that someone overexaggerate and make it worse than it was.

So, the original post has been displayed below this text, with just a few adjustments to make sure that bigotry out of ignorance will not be praised again.

No hashtag or slogan is going to solve anything. Everyone is aware of what’s going on by now, or at least an unfortunately surface-level understanding of it. What people fail to understand is that a black-and-white mentality can’t work here. Both sides of the conflict feed off each other and take pride in slaughter after slaughter. No matter what side they choose, everyone on social media eats this shit up and doesn’t question anything. How people have chosen to respond to the Isreal-Palestine conflict has been absolutely vile. No, I’m not just referring to the side you hate, I’m talking about everyone. You, me, all of us.

After falling for the ragebait myself, trying to be a better person and spread a more informed view has become a meaningless endeavour. Who cares unless you mindlessly worship those who harm women and children in the name of freedom? (Again, that isn’t just the side you hate.)

I’m tired. There’s still a few people agreeing to a post that wasn’t informed beyond some YouTube thumbnail and a couple tumblr posts. That was my post. I let myself fall to their level, and there’s going to be much more people who will succumb to it.

The answer? NONE. NOTHING JUSTIFIES THAT SHIT.

By the way, HARASSING JEWISH PEOPLE OR PALESTINIAN PEOPLE WILL SOLVE NOTHING.