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@therealcandyanon
Sugar Sweet Shenanigans.
The Real Original Candy-Anon's Blog, Henlo!
I'm Candy-Anon, I came out of the womb choosing crimes.
6-12 inches depending on what the fuck I'm doing or who I'm bothering.
I feed off chaos and gremlinism. Writer is 23 at time of posting this (12/7/2023). Writer is Autistic/Socially Anxious/Awkward.
Fite me.
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:)
Chaos.
AYO FOR MY DMC FELLAS. BURY THE LIGHT ON YT GOT TAKEN DOWN BC THE SONGS COMPOSER WASNT THE ONE THAT UPLOADED IT N THE GUY STOLE LIKE OVER 1-200K. HERES THE ORIGINAL BY THE COMPOSER ULOADED. Let's get him up to that 160M views and beyond bitches >:3
-The door gets kicked (barely pushed) in, ebony raised high (as high as they can get, anyway...) over their head-
Who the FUCK IS IMPERSONATING ME IN DANTE'S ASK BOX?!
I'M MAD AT HIM BUT THE FUCK BRO I JUST WANT HIM TO SAY SORRY FOR SEEMING HAPPY I ALMOST GOT HURT AND NOT MISSING ME LIKE I MISSED HIM!
SHOW YOUR FACE YOU SONOVABITCH I STILL HAVE THIS GUN AND I MAYBE SORTA KNOW HOW TO USE IT! MOTHERFUCKER!
-🍬
BE CAREFUL WHERE YA POINT THAT THING! AND CANDY, I APOLOGIZE FOR MY RUDENESS. I WILL BE NICE. AND I HOPE YA AREN'T HURT
Now onto something else. There is a candy imposter that has sendt me an extremely racist ask, and this is a heads up for all of you. If you get sendt an offensive ask by someone claiming to be Candy, it's not candy
I WILL BE CAREFUL ONCE THIS IMPOSTOR HAS BEEN ERADICATED BY MY TINY VENGEFUL HANDS!
(^ MY ANGER IN A SINGLE IMAGE I FOUND)
But hey thank you for saying sorry and I'm sorry I took your funny gun I really like Ebony it's pretty ^-^
...'m not giving it back still, but now...
THE REASON IS I SHALL USE IT FOR MURDER
-Ebony is missing, his sword is stuck in the ceiling, and there's a little SHIT on his desk, eating out of a jar of pickles.....it's like...the same size as a full pickle....it's just taking fuckin' bites out of it like a beaver does a tree...-
.....Wus good, Spardork? :P
-🍬
/After observing Rebellion impaled on his ceiling fan, and seeing Ivory by her lonesome on his desk, he let out a scoff of amusement./
Did you do this?
Mayhaps.
There was a spider.
I kept missing with Ebony 'coz I'm small, and I missed with rebellion.
I'm not coming down from this desk until it is found and eradicated. Spiders are from Hell and I will believe no other statement.
-They stand up, manage to pull a pickle out of the jar, and hold it out, almost falling over due to the weight- Pickle? It's Dill. You know, the only good pickle.
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"He really never did get that call back from Chuck E Cheese, did he?"
Independently written RP/Ask blog for Dante Sparda from the 2025 Netflix Anime.
Penned by ARoyalBirb solely.
NSFW in moderation, this blog will be 18+ due to jokes and possible written Gore. Also the fact the writer dislikes Minors and is 20+.
Respect TOS, Respect Writer, Respect People.
That is all.
[All Cheese sees next they head towards Dante's office is Candy running away from it, carrying Ebony in one hand, and a sour look on their face.....you can try to stop them...but they may bite.]
-🍬
(Yes I made a tiny doodle no I don't regret anything)
Uh... Candy??? You good, there? You know he gets crazy fangirls and fanboys and fantheys that he probably has to use that on, right..?
I can get you a brand new, customized to you gun,,, if you want,,,
He's got Ivory! He was mean!
Yea...I took Ebony without asking....but I almost hurt myself and he didn't care! He seemed happy even that it happened! For the red twin, he's acting a lot like his brother now-a-days....
[They pout]
He didn't take it back from me, and I'm mad, so I cut a hole in the back of the drawer and ran off with it....If he's gonna be a tosspot he doesn't get his stupid shiny gun back!
....Besides he shouldn't shoot fans no matter how crazy! Just toss them out by hand! Dude is like...six foot something and could bench press the Empire State Building, he doesn't need GUNS to get rid of HUMANS.
Dante gets his gun back when I get a sorry, a hug, and get to sleep in his hair!
[They stop their foot, not unlike a rabbit does when agitated, cheeks puffed out as they attempt to continue walking away, gun twice their size in tow]
While you raise several good points, theft isn't- y'know what I have no right to speak here.
I can still make you a gun better suited for you. Can be themed however you want... And I'll talk to Dante, get him to apologize to you. Don't think I can get you the "sleep in his hair", he doesn't even let me touch his hair, but I can work on the rest of that.
Be careful with that, you're... you're so small ;;
I'll apologize when i get my shit back! Can't steal MY stuff and then expect an apology
You started it! You were mean first!
We used to be like...friends! I dunno what happened while I was gone, if Vergil pulled another bullshit shenanigan, but like......you don't gotta take it out on people that finally had time to come back to see you again!
..I'm gonna go hang out with Nero. He hasn't forgotten our friendship.
i think the two of you need to go get ice cream together and talk it out. i can meditate and pay for the food...
...He's just gonna keep being mean to me...
'm going to Nero's.
Hello everyone, a big PSA from the admin of this blog, OOC. If you send me nsfw asks, i will not answer them. I have stated many times that this is not an nsfw blog.
And another thing, do not send me asks that are threatening my safety. I have been sendt several asks that are threatening to dox me if i do not do a blog owner face reveal, or other things that i am not comfortable with.
//stop harassing this lovely person I swear to God <3
//WHOEVER THREATEN DANTE WRITER, YA MOMS A HOE.
//The only 'face reveal' you mfs deserve is a photoshop of your own portrait with a clown nose! The only nsfw thing they should have in their inbox is you standing on a roller chair on company time! I WILL BITE YOU!
[All Cheese sees next they head towards Dante's office is Candy running away from it, carrying Ebony in one hand, and a sour look on their face.....you can try to stop them...but they may bite.]
-🍬
(Yes I made a tiny doodle no I don't regret anything)
Uh... Candy??? You good, there? You know he gets crazy fangirls and fanboys and fantheys that he probably has to use that on, right..?
I can get you a brand new, customized to you gun,,, if you want,,,
He's got Ivory! He was mean!
Yea...I took Ebony without asking....but I almost hurt myself and he didn't care! He seemed happy even that it happened! For the red twin, he's acting a lot like his brother now-a-days....
[They pout]
He didn't take it back from me, and I'm mad, so I cut a hole in the back of the drawer and ran off with it....If he's gonna be a tosspot he doesn't get his stupid shiny gun back!
....Besides he shouldn't shoot fans no matter how crazy! Just toss them out by hand! Dude is like...six foot something and could bench press the Empire State Building, he doesn't need GUNS to get rid of HUMANS.
Dante gets his gun back when I get a sorry, a hug, and get to sleep in his hair!
[They stop their foot, not unlike a rabbit does when agitated, cheeks puffed out as they attempt to continue walking away, gun twice their size in tow]
While you raise several good points, theft isn't- y'know what I have no right to speak here.
I can still make you a gun better suited for you. Can be themed however you want... And I'll talk to Dante, get him to apologize to you. Don't think I can get you the "sleep in his hair", he doesn't even let me touch his hair, but I can work on the rest of that.
Be careful with that, you're... you're so small ;;
I'll apologize when i get my shit back! Can't steal MY stuff and then expect an apology
You started it! You were mean first!
We used to be like...friends! I dunno what happened while I was gone, if Vergil pulled another bullshit shenanigan, but like......you don't gotta take it out on people that finally had time to come back to see you again!
..I'm gonna go hang out with Nero. He hasn't forgotten our friendship.
[All Cheese sees next they head towards Dante's office is Candy running away from it, carrying Ebony in one hand, and a sour look on their face.....you can try to stop them...but they may bite.]
-🍬
(Yes I made a tiny doodle no I don't regret anything)
Uh... Candy??? You good, there? You know he gets crazy fangirls and fanboys and fantheys that he probably has to use that on, right..?
I can get you a brand new, customized to you gun,,, if you want,,,
He's got Ivory! He was mean!
Yea...I took Ebony without asking....but I almost hurt myself and he didn't care! He seemed happy even that it happened! For the red twin, he's acting a lot like his brother now-a-days....
[They pout]
He didn't take it back from me, and I'm mad, so I cut a hole in the back of the drawer and ran off with it....If he's gonna be a tosspot he doesn't get his stupid shiny gun back!
....Besides he shouldn't shoot fans no matter how crazy! Just toss them out by hand! Dude is like...six foot something and could bench press the Empire State Building, he doesn't need GUNS to get rid of HUMANS.
Dante gets his gun back when I get a sorry, a hug, and get to sleep in his hair!
[They stop their foot, not unlike a rabbit does when agitated, cheeks puffed out as they attempt to continue walking away, gun twice their size in tow]
While you raise several good points, theft isn't- y'know what I have no right to speak here.
I can still make you a gun better suited for you. Can be themed however you want... And I'll talk to Dante, get him to apologize to you. Don't think I can get you the "sleep in his hair", he doesn't even let me touch his hair, but I can work on the rest of that.
Be careful with that, you're... you're so small ;;
No.
It's mine now.
He gets it back when he says sorry and lets me sleep in his jacket again.
I KNOW I'M SMALL BUT I CAN HANDLE MYSE-
[They trip while walking away, the gun going off, sending them and the weapon flying back past Cheese's legs. The bullet may not have been from one, but the little shit went flying past like a shotgun]
[. . .]
I'M OKAY!
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I am not giving it back
(LOOK DAD I HAVE A BODY!)
NEVERMIND THE OTHER ASK IN YOUR INBOX FROM ME
DANTE'S BEING AN ASS! LIKE...VERGIL LEVEL OF ASS!
>:[ May I hit him with a pringles can or sharpened plastic fork
-🍬
OH SHIT! That’s pretty bad.
And sure, go for it, don’t have to ask permission from me lol. Just be careful though, the guy’s still a devil hunter despite being… well, Dante.
I’d go with the Pringle can for the blunt force trauma rather than the fork shank. Man has been stabbed so many times it’d probably be good to shake things up for once.
Have no fear, I have gottend my revenge already.
I fucking stole Ebony and just passed Cheese on the way out of his office. I will not be giving it back.
He threatened to grind me into paste if I touched his hair, was mean when I coulda gotten hurt for reasons I will not disclose but he was still mean about it, and wasn't even happy to see me after so long!!!
You should like...totally beat him up for me since I am too small.
[All Cheese sees next they head towards Dante's office is Candy running away from it, carrying Ebony in one hand, and a sour look on their face.....you can try to stop them...but they may bite.]
-🍬
(Yes I made a tiny doodle no I don't regret anything)
Uh... Candy??? You good, there? You know he gets crazy fangirls and fanboys and fantheys that he probably has to use that on, right..?
I can get you a brand new, customized to you gun,,, if you want,,,
He's got Ivory! He was mean!
Yea...I took Ebony without asking....but I almost hurt myself and he didn't care! He seemed happy even that it happened! For the red twin, he's acting a lot like his brother now-a-days....
[They pout]
He didn't take it back from me, and I'm mad, so I cut a hole in the back of the drawer and ran off with it....If he's gonna be a tosspot he doesn't get his stupid shiny gun back!
....Besides he shouldn't shoot fans no matter how crazy! Just toss them out by hand! Dude is like...six foot something and could bench press the Empire State Building, he doesn't need GUNS to get rid of HUMANS.
Dante gets his gun back when I get a sorry, a hug, and get to sleep in his hair!
[They stop their foot, not unlike a rabbit does when agitated, cheeks puffed out as they attempt to continue walking away, gun twice their size in tow]
He didn't realize Ebony went with me deeper into the drawer...
I escaped out the back of it. I'm not giving it back.
Local red Sparda twin is a tosspot and should be kneecapped for being a meanie.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
[The leetle shit is found in the drawer of his office desk again....playing with Ebony]
[It looks up at him, staring, freezing as if he was a fucking raptor that only saw movement]
-🍬
Why...
.....................
[They go to speak, but as they shift their body, the trigger gets touched. Neither of them is shot, but the knockback sends them deeper into the drawer and out of sight, accompanied by a startled yelp as the little creecher vanishes from view]
And stay in there!
[The sound is muffled by the no doubt abandoned paperwork, and the depth of the drawer, but it's audible just enough]
AND HERE I WAS HOPING YOU'D BE HAPPY TO SEE ME AGAIN, SPARDA BOY!
[The leetle shit is found in the drawer of his office desk again....playing with Ebony]
[It looks up at him, staring, freezing as if he was a fucking raptor that only saw movement]
-🍬
Why...
.....................
[They go to speak, but as they shift their body, the trigger gets touched. Neither of them is shot, but the knockback sends them deeper into the drawer and out of sight, accompanied by a startled yelp as the little creecher vanishes from view]
