Don't get me wrong, I want people to read books. But the most important book they should be reading... is Facebook.
Mark Zuckerberg

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@thequotidiots
Don't get me wrong, I want people to read books. But the most important book they should be reading... is Facebook.
Mark Zuckerberg

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I gotta take a Winnie the poo.
Mr. Rogers
Hope your New Years Eve was rockin'! P.S. I'm still alive!
Dick Clark
I'll miss the burritos.
Jim Harbaugh
You know, this new 'Night at the Museum' movie doesn't look very good. Maybe I'll cancel that one next.
Kim Jong-un

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You sure about that, Seth?
Salman Rushdie
From now on I'm just gonna write books.
Seth Rogen
Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? (Pause) No? (Pause) It's eggplant parm. (Pause) Shit, is the oven not on?
The Rock
3 hoes are more than enough for me.
Santa ClausÂ
We're gonna take a break from our coverage of the SONY leak so that I can take a SONY leak.
Anderson CooperÂ

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Where's MY friggin' Kennedy Center Honor?
Kennedy
Who beefed?
Arby's
Who wears short shorts? This guy.
John McEnroe
My actual name is Roy Banana.
Don Lemon
In my world, every Friday is Black Friday.
Cornel WestÂ

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It's not even 9 am on the west coast and I'm already farting like I've eaten three plates of turkey and stuffing.
Cedric The Entertainer
I feel like I got shot all over again when they read that verdict last night.
Michael Brown