The Professional RP Meme Maker

(In honor of The Plain White T’s new album “Parallel Universe”) Change Pronouns as Necessary

Light Up The Room

“All her exes never mattered.”

“Making the same excuses for the same mistakes.”

“I wanna turn you on.”

“When you walk in you light up the room.”

“I see nothing but you.”

“She got me losing faith.”

“You throw game like daggers I'm aware.”

“Leave behind cadavers everywhere.”

“I'm full of dark matter, best beware.”

Bonnie I Want You

“What you gonna do when the drugs run out?”

“What you gonna do when the sun comes up?”

“ Once you know the things they're saying...”

“You know all of the games they're playing.”

“What you gonna do when the buzz wears off?”

“What you gonna do when the truth sets in?”

“Nobody's around to sink your teeth in.”

“Once you know the way out, it's even harder to stay out.”

“I wanna see you again.”

Top of The World

“I'm feeling rich but I got no money.”

“I'm in a ditch but at least it's sunny.”

“I'm on top of the world.”

“I'm never coming down now.”

“I'm out of chips but I'm still high rolling.”

“I can't sleep but I'm always dreaming.”

“I feel the heat but I got no demons.”

Bury Me

“Every whisper is like a symphony to me.”

“Another opportunity to be with you, the one I love.”  

“Please bury me.”

“I will always be where you are.”

“Dig a hole for me in your soul.”

“Pull me in and don't let me go.”

“Every picture of you is like a masterpiece.”

“ And every love song we're toe to toe and cheek to cheek.” 

“Lay your loving down upon me.”

Your Body

“I can't stop staring at you.”

“I don't know nobody like I know your body.”

“I'll keep you forever satisfied, you'll see.”

“'Cause nobody knows your body like me.”  

“I'll keep on taking my time.”

“I'll ace any pop quiz, baby, with my eyes closed.”

Low

“Another night at the bar 'cause I just can't deal with it.”

“Judging everyone else like a goddamn hypocrite.”

“Used to love living life now I'm just so sick of it.”

“And I talk to myself 'cause I know nobody's there.”

“I got death at my door knocking, I'm not even scared.”

“I have been held high in such a while.”

“Been such a long time since I could smile.”

“Just keep your distance.”

“Well I'm trying my best but I'm just not good enough.”

“Low, and I do stupid shit that I know I shouldn't have.”

End of the World

“This might be the end of the world so we might as well keep dancing.”

“ I found Jesus the other day.”

“He was eating hamburgers in a Chevrolet.”

“Didn't have time to save the day.”

“Let’s fall in love.”

“You go ahead, I'mma stay back.”

“How will I fall in love?”

“This might be the end of the world so it's time to take some chances.”

“There's a hurricane blowing almost everyday.”

“TV's got me paranoid.”

“What does she mean? Does she mean my gums will bleed?”

“No that was her vaguely describing your death.”

“How did I die?! Oh right.”

“This is the rudest thing to ever happen to me!”

“I don’t understand these portals, in my brain they’re just holes that lead to another, magical location.”

“Your portals connect...”

“My brain doesn’t do spatial shit well.”

“I literally have to map out different routes and memorize the change if one of my routes has a road closed.”

“I can picture a map, but I can’t apply it to my location.”

“How did you survive this long with that bad of a sense of direction?”

“Why do I get short when I die?”

“...It’s because you’re supposed to be laying on the ground.”

“You’re talking to someone who never trips.”

“As a concept, this might be hard for you, because you’re a mess.”

“Yay I opened the door - SHIT!”

“Ah look, my blood is all over that wall.”

(Change pronouns as necessary)

“He’s glowing.”

“Either he’s free or he self destructed. Who knows.”

“Oh his tragic backstory involves a girl...how typical.”

“You’re in your awesome form and your shirtless!”

“Is that a tail?”

“Weird clothes or extra appendages? Who knows!”

“Ugh, just talk to your dad.”

“Suspended? You can’t suspend me!”

“Y’all are wusses, fine, I’ll go!”

“This is either a terrible idea or a fairly decent one.”

“Don’t worry, he’s just misunderstood! Too bad that’s no excuse for murder...”

“Underneath every angry boy...is another really depressed one.”

“I’m going to punch this tree because no one understands me!”

“Isn’t it just so convenient...that we all happened to be around the corner...haha, totally weren’t listening in on this very private conversation!”

“But now we’re here to help and stand up for you even though you never asked.”

“Do I intend to defy you? Is that an offer? Cause yeah, I do.”

“She’s actually pretty relateable.”

“Oh shit, did she just-”

“I gave this long and ranty speech and I’m out of breath - give me a sec and I’ll keep yelling.”

“I think a hug is in order, I did just save your ass...”

You CAN’T call my ⓑⓛⓤⓕⓕ

“What does this say?”

“No, not that word, this one, the one next to ‘brown’.”

“Some of these recipes don’t have titles so I don’t know what I’m making.”

“I’m labeling those recipes: someone make these and get back to me.”

“I think this is a made up word or abbreviation that means ‘shortening’.”

“I mean, she’s dead so I can’t ask her.”

“We could always use the ouija board to ask her to read her handwritten recipes to us?”

“She says in the ingredients it calls for black pepper and green peppers, but then in the directions she doesn’t specify which ones she’s using, she just says ‘add pepper’ twice.”

“Two cider vinegar...Okay so does that mean two teaspoons, two tablespoons, or two cups?”

“Maybe she means two gallons.”

“The ingredient above it is measured in tablespoons so I’m just gonna...assume that...”

“She used an out of business brand name instead of the ingredient. And then she didn’t even specify what product from that brand I’m supposed to be using.”

“I have transcribed 3! Just 25 more to go!”

“Does this say ‘Cah’? I think she means ‘cake’ but it really doesn’t look like the word ‘cake’.”

“It could be ‘cah’, ‘caf’ or maybe ‘cak’.”

                               F                                   A                                        L                                            L                                                I                                                   N                                                        G

                                                                 for her

                                             was like

                              F                                  A                                       L                                           L                                               I                                                  N                                                       G

                                F                                    A                                         L                                             L                                                 I                                                    N                                                         G

                                                                  for him

                                              was like

                               F                                   A                                        L                                            L                                                I                                                   N                                                        G 

(Change pronouns as necessary)

“Your nicknames are just...lovely.”

“I like him now.”

“You’re acting like she’s wrong.”

“Do you have a better idea? If not, fuck off.”

“She wants to leave, that is clear, just help her leave and don’t - DON’T DO THAT YOU ASSHOLE.”

“You both have the same goal but one of you is a lil bitch.”

“I’m like...Nick Cage facing so hard right now.”

“I agree, he is an idiot, but at least he’s a helpful idiot, which is better than you.”

“A helpful idiot is more useful than an annoying genius."

“To be blunt: No.”

“Yes that’s a great idea! Hit him with a sword! HIT HIM HARD!”

“Just-just beat him up.”

“Either he won’t hit you and you’ll win or he’ll hit you and look like a jackass and so you’ll still win!”

“I have a sword, and my sword is nicer than your sword. And if I promise not to behead you, will you be my friend?”

“It’s not a sword competition, but if it matters, she wins.”

“A stick is not a cool sword, it just isn’t.”

“Befriend her and you as well can have a cool sword.”

“Ah, this boy is so easy to read. He wants to fight.”

“I mean, I’d have given if you promised me a cool sword but okay.”

“I guess duels are cool too.”

“So you can smile...”

“As my research shows, I believe you will be the barely redeemed asshole in this story.”

“If I was in a reverse harem I’d be the pretty boy. The prettiest boy.”

“I’m too good for a reverse harem, I have no flaws that a girl has to see past to learn to love me.”

“The general flaws include: stupid, gloomy, or angry asshole.”

“Tragic backstory optional.”

“Are they arguing while they run?”

“I can’t find my brother...what a tragedy...I say as I don’t even look for him.”

“I’m going to solve this problem by STANDING HERE AND LOOKING GORGEOUS.”

“That’s not helpful, but thank you for your...kind services...”

“[Name] is back to being an emo fuck - reset the counter.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I hate his guts and would send him through a trash compactor. But he does make life interesting.”

“They’re both emo...but one of them does it better than the other."

“Can you emo or can you EMO.”

“Wikihow probably has an article on it, look it up, sweetheart.”

“He looks like [name] and some random druggy had a love child.”

“Did he only agree to come because you said there’d be alcohol because I have some really bad news for you...”

“Um, you’re not wearing your uniform but you tried.”

“You’re gonna fuck this up, but you’re charming, so at least screw it up in the most charming way possible and everyone will laugh.”

“I love how anime makes white people attractive only when they’re important. It’s basically reality.”

“Unless you’re a love interest your nose is gigantic.”

“Okay, stop singing that’s my gig...EVERYONE BACK THE FUCK OFF!”

“Your singing is hilarious. Your singing voice is just as emo as you look.”

“So explain, why did everyone have to get shirtless?”

“I don’t understand the context and I’m unamused.”

“Oh they’re gonna learn about human anatomy. I’m sure this will just be wonderful and innocent and tame.”

“If anyone volunteers to get naked can it be [name]?”

“I volunteer [name] as tribute to strip.”

“Honestly both would be good strippers but let’s keep this professional.”

“Okay nevermind, he’s too innocent, he’s no longer in the stripper running.”

“So...you were super religious...but you know nothing about the gods...”

“She better know her own religion’s gods, she lived at a freaking shrine.”

“Plot twist...I’m just as depressed as like half the other guys.”

(Change pronouns as necessary)

"I have so many semi-normal friends! I have the criminal, the gun nut, and stalker! Sociopath isn’t a friend, he’s a best friend.”

“Have you reached your full potential as a sociopath? And by that I mean, have you murdered anyone yet and hid their body? Don’t worry I’m totally not recording this for blackmail.”

“I mean, if you become a serial killer and don’t invite me...I’m gonna have to unfriend you on facebook.”

“I’m sorry, friends don’t let friends kill by themselves.”

“Friends don’t let friends kill - what kind of friend are you?! Let me follow my dreams!”

“I invited you to hide a body with me, that was a one on one invitation, I didn’t say invite the cops. But now that they’re here I guess the cop car lights do add a sort of nice ambiance to the whole scene.”

“I was the kind of kid who saw dead people and cut up insects into tiny little pieces for fun.”

“You sound like a therapists wet dream, my god.”

“There’s so weird he’s cool, and so weird you wanna lock him up in a cage and observe him. Where on the scale is he?”

“I’m thinking more...have sex with him and run experiments on the babies for genetic abnormalities?”

“Think! Our babies could be creative AND insane!”

“You’re not even worthy of my basement torture chamber plans.”

“I mean, I love you, which means I wouldn’t kill you...and don’t worry that promise has no expiration date.”

“Stab me, but in a sexy way, please?”

“Sexy means not the FACE YOU ASSHOLE!”

“How many brownie points do I get for returning the body?”

“By brownie points he means how many years off his jail sentence.”

“You’re a weirdo magnet aren’t you?”

“What do you mean ‘burned the body’ it was my free, no extra charge, cremation service!”

(Change pronouns as necessary)

“Don’t take candy from strangers, you don’t know what STDs he has!”

“At least he admitted to being mean.”

“Honestly going through the door seems like a bad idea. I don’t care what the disembodied voice says.”

“Did this bitch just call her ignorant? Rude.”

“That feel when you realize you were worshipping the wrong religion the entire time...”

“You kidnapped me to babysit your brats?”

“Hobo is the height of fashion. Clearly.”

“Let me get really close to your face and play with your hair.”

“I mean I know we just met, but your hair is so fun to twirl around my fingers.”

“I promise I’m not a sociopath like that other dude.”

“I like his voice though. It’s calm and reassuring.”

“I’m gonna kiss your hand and then we’ll be on first name basis.”

“Which means I can touch your hair again.”

“You may think I give a fuck, but in reality, I give none.”

“Me? Have a weakness for psychopaths? Where’s the lie though?”

“Ugh can everyone just keep it in their pants?”

“Stop, she doesn’t want you, don’t be a fuckboy.”

“I kissed you on the lips...politely.”

“I introduce myself by kissing people, no biggie.”

“He’s literally friends with a pegasus, I think he’s beyond awesome.”

“If you have a horse, you are already leagues above the other guys.”

“You have black nail polish. Why are you so emo?”

“I didn’t choose the hobo life...the hobo life was chosen for me, by my dad.”

“Father why must you lock me in a room with a girl?!”

“Father you know I have a kissing problem.”

“At least dad gave me a pegasus, I mean, bam, that’s how you get the girls these days.”

“If he’s your half brother...why are you trying to have sex with him?”

“If your half brother wants to kiss me, who are you to stop him from following his dick - I mean dreams.”

“Canonically this makes no sense.”

“This is like a horrible fanfiction where canon has been cut up, sewn back together all wrong, and brought to life like a Frankenstein's monster.”

“And by horrible I mean awesome.”

(Change pronouns as necessary.)

“You’re an emo fuck.”

“He’s a lil bitch.”

“They can bond over both having ugly hair.”

“They can have an ugly hair wedding and ugly hair babies.”

“He’s got the best hair but that makes sense.”

“Why the fuck is a sword there?”

“Her hair is just hideous beyond belief.”

“I swear there are like 5 harem protagonists with this same first name.”

“If he wants a nude scene and a magical girl transformation, honestly just give him one.”

“He has ugly hair but he wears it well, while he has meh hair and wears it badly.”

“It’s all about how you wear it.”

“Finally someone I can relate too.”

“Yeah, tell him off!”

“He’s a rude dick and deserves to know he’s a rude dick.”

“This is why you’ll never get sex. Or if you do it will be pity sex.”

“Awww, platonic family love. Good and wholesome.”

“Honey, his hair is too good for you. Accept your destiny.”

“I think you just realized how fucked you are and had an existential crisis.”

“If animals like him...provided he’s not a serial killer, I think he’s the best bet.”

“I want a pony.”

“Tell the guys to fuck off and marry the horse.”

“Considering how badly everyone else dresses, he’s basically a fashionista. Which isn’t saying much.”

“Wow you look less ugly than everyone else, good job, gold star!”

“Dresses like a fashionista hobo...looks like a psychopath...Clearly he’s the one.”

“The sociopath made the best first impression! Guys step up your game!”

“He has ugly eyebrows.”

“Is he clumsy or a pervert?”

“Okay, he’s gotten the farthest with her by being a complete mess so I guess...you tried?”

“Romantic or creepy? The line is very thin.”

“Dude said: Don’t touch my man.”

“I mean, I get your gay for him...he’s gorgeous. But he’s also a hoe, so you gotta keep him in line.”

“I was pretty sure the first two guys were brotherly love, I don’t think that’s very brotherly.”

“Don’t be mean to girls because your boyfriend is a pervert.”