Presidentiowl Matters
Barack Owlbama sat at his desk. It was going to be a long day. Lots more paperwork from the CIA, a meeting with the ambassador from the People's Republic of Owlrea, and, unknown to him, an attempt on his life. Suddenly, Mitt Romnowl burst through the door to the Oval Office. Slamming his wings on the desk in a flurry of feathers, Romnowl told Owlbama "It's over. You're done for." With that, owls in black SWAT armour carrying guns flooded through the door. Owlbama, totally calm, responded to Romnowl with "You've just cut the ribbon and opened a brand new museum which contains an incomprehensible amount of priceless fuck you." Owlbama leapt from his perch behind his desk. Soaring across the room, he speared another owl in the chest with his talons. Crouching behind a couch as the bullets flew, he decided on a plan. Owlbama leapt from behind the couch and took down the nearest owl. Taking the gun from the dead owl's wings, Owlbama started shooting. He'd been trained in the wilderness in his younger days, and was a crack shot. Sure, the enemy owls were SWAT troopers, but no match for Owlbama. Within minutes, the black-clad owls were dead, riddled with bullet holes. Barack Owlbama rose from behind the couch, gun smoking. A terrified Mitt Romnowl fled through the door. Before giving chase, Owlbama messaged his Secret Service agents. "Cleanup in the Owlval Office."
Soaring down the halls of the White House, Owlbama could see Romnowl's tail feathers as they disappeared around corners. Letting off a few shots, he heard a cry of pain. A blood spatter appeared on the floor. Owlbama had Romnowl in his sights, and took him down. As he crashed to the floor, Owlbama swooped over him and landed in front of him. "You're finished, Romnowl. I'm President now. And I'll see to it that there's no Romnowl 2016 campaign." Owlbama aimed his gun. Suddenly, Mitt Romnowl drew two revolvers from the folds of his wings, and shot the President in the knee before he could react. As Owlbama dropped, Romnowl rose up. Aiming his revolver for Owlbama's head, Romnowl whispered "Long live the Repowlblican Party." Before he could fire however, a spray of blood exploded from his chest. Romnowl slumped, dead, to the ground. Barack Owlbama saw none other than Vice President Joe Bowlden at the end of the corridor, holding two smoking SMGs. Slipping on a pair of shades, he said "I guess he won't be so opposed to your free healthcare now, Mr. President."
