The Office Imagines

“Michael. no.” Holly said, placing her hands on her fiance’s shoulder. “That’s not how this works.”

Michael rolled his eyes, “Holly, sugarplum. This is our wedding. Therefore,I think in that case it works however we want it to. You know what they say. My wedding; My rules.”

“Michael, I don’t think that’s how--”

“Shh, don’t intervene.” Pam said, gripping her husband’s hand.

“Michael--”

“NO! Holly.” Michael shouted. “I’m not joking around. Now, if you’ll excuse me... I’m going in.”

Pam: So, Holly and Michael are in Scranton for a couple of days to take care of some wedding things and Michael made comment that he wanted to come by the office since it’s been such a long time.

Jim: And Pam had the bright idea of letting the future Mr. & Mrs. Scott carpool with us.

Pam: Well, I thought it would be nice until they got in the car and bickered about what we are now referring to as the “Invitation Fiasco”.

Jim: This day could not get any better.

Michael burst through the doors of his old stomping ground, Dunder Mifflin. All action halted, all sound ceased and then suddenly erupted into spurts of excitement and joy at the sight of him. 

It took no time for the ex-regional manager to be surrounded by his former subordinates. Had the situation been any different, he’d have been thrilled to greet them all one by one and answer every single question they had but today, no.

This was not the time. 

He wore his straightest face as he pried through the band of friends surrounding him not offering so much as an ‘excuse me’.

“Michael!” Dwight yelled, running over to stop him dead in his tracks. “Hey, what’s this all about?”

Michael shoved the taller man, “Not now Dwight.” he growled as he stomped toward the annex.

Meredith frowned, “What’s his deal?”

Michael: Today is... Today is not a good day. Here I am, in the best office in the entire world and I can’t even enjoy it. I walked in and saw the faces of all of these wonderful people and yet I can’t feel happy to see them. All I feel is hate. Anger. Regret. I couldn’t sleep for days. 

Michael angrily kicked the door open, leaving the annex looking even more upset that he’d been before he’d even gone in.

“Michael, calm down.” Holly said, walking over to console her irate fiance.

The man dodged her loving hands, his eyes darting from face to face.

“Where is he?” Michael yelled. “Where the hell is that god damned soul sucker of an HR trash can?!”

“Wait a second, you came all the way to Scranton....for Toby?” Kelly asked, brow risen in legitimate confusion.

“Alright people, you heard him! Find the man.” Creed said, peeking into the trash can behind Erin’s desk.

“TOOOOOOOOBYYYYYYY?!”

“This is not going to end well.” Jim said, bracing himself for the worst.

Pam: As it turns out, Holly is very good at forging penmanship. 

Jim: And given how she’s practically a female Michael, it wasn’t hard for her to send Toby an invite as Michael.

Upon hearing his name, Toby emerged from the break room with his coffee cup in tow. 

“Yes?” he said before his eyes settled on the unexpected face. “Oh! Hi, Michael!”

Michael eyes burned in pure fury, “I need to see you in my office!”

“Your office? You stopped working here half a year ago.” Ryan said.

That only seemed to make Michael even more irritated. He began to inch over to Toby only to be stopped by Holly.

“Michael, Michael. Hey! Listen, relax.” she said, holding Michael back from approaching the HR rep any more. 

Jim quickly escorted Toby back to the break room,where he’d be safest from Michael’s incoming threats and insults.

“Toby, here’s the thing and I need you to listen to me because I do not know how much time we have before the bull breaks loose from--” Jim started.

“Alright Toby, forget what that moron has told you. You can not go to that wedding.” Dwight said, interrupting Jim before he had a chance to explain

“Look, he sent me an invitation already. I’m sure he’s just here to--I don’t know ask me to be a groomsman or something.” Toby said.

Jim nearly scoffed, “Are you insane? He never sent you that invite. Holly forged it so that you wouldn’t be the only one left out. Does that look like the face of a man looking to ask someone to be his groomsman?”

The three men looked out of the window to see Michael’s infuriated face peering at them through the window.

“Listen,” Jim sighed. “I think I know of a way to fix this but you have to do exactly as I say.”

Toby shrugged, “Yeah, okay.”

“Do not screw this up Toby.” Dwight said.

Jim shot a glance at Dwight before guiding Toby out of the break room without getting caught in Michael’s wrath.

“Michael, I need you calm down.” Holly said. “You are being completely irrational.”

“Well, Holly.” Michael started, “I have to take care of this before it’s too late.”

“Then take care of it with me.” she said, “It’s my fault that Toby got the invite. I sent it. Why aren’t you lashing out at me?”

The man sighed heavily with frustration, “He should have known that I would never in a million, billion, trillion years  send him an invitation to my wedding. Why? So he can ruin it with his Tobyness?”

“Michael!” Holly yelled, “How could you be so mean and hateful to the man who wants nothing more than to see you walk to down the aisle and marry the woman you love? He’s happy for you. Don’t you understand that?”

“She’s right, Michael.” said another feminine voice. 

“Pam?” he whispered.

“Think about the way you talk to him and yet he was thrilled to see that you’d thought to even send him an invitation to witness the happiest day of your life.” Pam said, walking over to the couple.

Holly held his hand, “You can be mad at me all you want but promise me you will think about this.”

"Ok.” he sighed.

Michael: I hate to say it but they’re right... It’s not technically his fault but....GOD. Who would want Toby of all the people in this world at their wedding? I’d rather have Hitler or Bin Laden there than this guy... But, you know... I’d hate to disappoint my future wife. “Happy Wife, Happy Life” ...Even if you’re miserable with the things that make her happy.

“Toby, you’re wanted in the conference room.”

“...Is it Michael?” Toby asked.

“Just go to the conference room.” she demanded.

Phyllis: So, Michael can’t say hi but he can use me to relay a message? 

Toby headed toward the conference room, Michael had been waiting on him to arrive.

“Michael, you wanted to see me?” he asked.

“For the love of God--Jesus Christ-- Just sit down Toby and shut up. Please.” Michael groaned.

Without another word, Toby sat down across from the other man, trying his best to avert his gaze.

“Toby, how could you fall for something so stupid?” Michael asked.

Toby said nothing.

“What did it even say? Better yet, who gave you my new cell phone number and why?” Michael asked.

Again, Toby said nothing.

“Why do you even want to come to my wedding in the first place? We hate each other.” Michael said.

Still, Toby said nothing.

“What the hell Toby?” Michael frowned.

“I--I’m sorry, Michael. I don’t understand. Do you want me to speak or not?” he asked.

Michael sighed heavily into his hands, holding back his urge to curse the man across from him.

“Yes, idiot.”

Toby shook his head, “Michael, I don’t hate you. In fact, it’s the complete opposite. I’ve never hated you. Regardless of the things you’d say to me, I always thought of it as a way to just expression your frustration with HR. Not directly to me. I always hoped you’d come around one day. That’s why I was so happy when I got that invitation.”

Michael adjusted the watch on his wrist, “Yeah, well... I never sent that invitation to you.”

“I know that now. Jim explained.” Toby sighed. “Listen, Michael. If you truly don’t want me there, then I just won’t go. Simple as that... It’s your wedding day. The best day of your life. If me being there would ruin it for you then I’ll stay as far away as I have to.”

Michael stared at the man clad in brown for such a long time, it’d started to become awkward.

Toby stood to his feet, taking that as his cue to leave. And Michael watched, not saying another word to him.

A couple hours pass and Michael earned back the office’s good graces once he’d calmed down and apologized for his rude entry. Michael leaned on the reception desk as he and Erin chatted about the plans he and Holly had made for their honeymoon. He soon fell silent, compelled to answer to the nagging voice in his head.

He sigh, “Erin, could I borrow a pen and an index card?”

“Oh! Sure!” she said, quickly supplying him with what he’d asked for.

Toby sat in the annex listening to Kelly and Ryan bicker about whether or not a girl they’d met at a party the night before was hot or not until he’d felt a presence behind him.

An index card was placed faced down on his desk. He hesitantly reached for it before turning to meet the eyes of the person standing behind him.

“You’re invited. This time it’s truly from Michael Scott.” he read aloud.

Toby chuckled as he stood to his feet and reached out to Michael.

“If you hug me, I will rip that card up with a quickness you’ve never seen in your life.” Michael said, extending a hesitant hand out to him.

“Your heart grew three sizes today.” Holly smiled. “I’m proud of you.”

Michael frowned, childishly avoiding her eyes.

Regardless, she leaned in to kiss him. He tried to hold back but he couldn’t for long. He loved the woman too much to resist.

Michael: In a marriage, you pick and choose your battles. Is a pesky annoyance enough to ruin a relationship? No. When you love someone, you love them with not only your heart but your brain. If your brain tells you that you need to do something that your heart is not exactly happy about.... You do it. Because in the end your brain is smarter than your heart... And that’s how you keep your love alive.

Jim: Well Beesly, it seems like your carpool idea worked out after all.

Pam: Of course. I had it planned out the entire time.

Jim: Sure you did.

Michael: We’ve decided to let bygones be bygones.

Toby: It feels good.

Michael: Yup. 

Toby: So, I was wondering Michael... Have you got all the groomsmen that you need?

Michael: You’re treading on thin ice Toby.

Toby: I was just--

Michael: Don’t push it.

Set somewhere in season 8.

“Oh! Oh! oH! WOOAH! Yeah! In your face Dunder Mifflin!” shrieked an excited receptionist, causing the rest of the office to fall silent in curiosity of what was suddenly going on.

Jim and Pam exchanged knowing looks before the pregnant woman hesitantly rose from her seat and waddled over to reception. 

“Erin?” she said, a gentle smile resting upon her lips as she leaned over onto the desk in attempt to alleviate the pain from her aching feet. “You okay?”

“Huh? Oh! Yeah..” the younger girl squealed, bouncing in her seat as she brought the envelope to her parted lips. “I just--"

Unable to finish her sentence due to her excitement, she jumped out of her seat and shoved the opened envelope into Pam’s arms. The older lady smiled as she retrieved the content of the envelope and began to read it.

“Go ahead, read it aloud!” Erin sang.

“Uh... Sure.” Pam agreed hesitantly. 

She’d known exactly what it was just by looking at the envelope, she and Jim had received an identical golden envelope two days prior. However, she couldn’t decline while Erin stood mere seconds away from exploding with more of those shrill squeaks.

“Erin Hannon, your company has been requested at the celebration of Mr. & Mrs. Scott on April 29th..... Be there or be square.....lots of love Michael and Holly Scott.” she read.

Pam: So, Michael and Holly came to visit us a few months ago and Michael asked Jim to be best man.

Jim: After much consideration, I accepted.

Pam: And by much consideration, he means he said yes immediately after Michael ‘popped the question’.

Jim: I---That’s---okay, listen--

Pam: Michael thought that he had to get down on one knee when asking his best man to do the honors. And I must say, Michael’s proposal to Jim was pretty more romantic.

Jim: More romantic than the day I proposed to you?

Pam: Oh yeah.

“Did you and Jim get invited?” Erin asked.

Pam flashed a smile to Jim, “Yeah we did. Actually Jim is Michael’s best man.”

“Oh!” Erin smiled faintly, before snatching her invitation back. “That’s cool.”

Erin: So, I kinda thought that I’d gotten invited before Jim and Pam. Yeah, I got really excited. But turns out, they’d already gotten invites and Jim is his best man.... I guess Michael remembers me at receptionist number two. But hey, that’s totally fine too! At least he remembered.

“So, your invitation to Michael’s wedding came in today huh?” Phyllis asked, absentmindedly tracing the edge of the reception desk.

“Yeah!” Erin smiled. “Wanna see it?”

The girl anxiously handed the envelope to Phyllis who silently declined. “Uh, it’s okay. I heard it when Pam read it, then when Andy read it and when Kevin tried to read it...”

Without another word, the larger woman regretfully returned to her desk.

Phyllis: So, Michael and Holly’s wedding invitations have been sent out. Apparently, they’re all hand written by Michael. Which in Michael Scott, that means that they’re only inviting the ones that he really likes... I haven’t gotten one.

“Hey, uh, Gabe...” Toby said, hesitantly approaching the lanky man. “May I ask you something?”

Toby: Have I received an invitation to the wedding? Well, ya know.....No... But, something tells me to remain hopeful.

Gabe turned in his seat, "Sure, what can I help you with Toby?”

“Well, it’s uh, about this wedding invitation thing...” He started.

Gabe resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He’d gotten so tired of hearing about the wedding invitations. People were bragging about what had been written inside of their invitations as if it had been written by someone who, well, wasn’t Michael Scott. He didn’t see the appeal. 

To be fair, his opinion on the whole ordeal could have a bit to do with his own invite.

“No.” the blue eyed man sighed.

It didn’t exist.

Toby smiled a small smile as he left to return to his desk, not giving Gabe the chance to elaborate on what was inside.

Gabe: No, I wasn’t invited. And you know what? It doesn’t matter. Michael Scott is a part of Dunder Mifflin’s past and as far as I’m concerned. I forgot he existed.....You know, if this office focused their energy on working rather than some poorly crafted wedding invitations it would make my job a heck of a lot easier. 

“And so I told her, “If my boyfriend left me in the middle of the food court like that I would just kill myself.” Kelly blabbed to Ryan who had been too busy playing Solitaire to truly process what she’d been saying.

“Uhuh.” he hummed.

“Oh yeah. By the way, my wedding invitation come in this morning.” she said. “I can’t believe Holly never asked me to be a bridesmaid.”

Ryan frowned, “Why would she have asked you to be her bridesmaid?”

“Um, because you need at least one smoking hot bridesmaid to model the dress. Duh.” she snapped.

“Right.”

“Please join us, Meredith Palmer as we celebrate the union of Michael and Holly Scott on April 29th. You’re invited, yes. You have to come to both the ceremony AND the reception. Not just the reception. It’s my wedding day, not just a celebration of free booze.”

Angela rolled her eyes, “Meredith, how could you be so proud to read that aloud? He’s openly insulting you by insinuating that you’re an alcoholic.”

“Who cares?” Meredith bit back. “Where’s your invitation?”

Angela brushed a stray strand of hair from her face before stomping off to her desk.

Angela: No, I didn’t get an invitation and frankly I do not care. The senator and I have a very important dinner that evening anyway.

Andy impatiently tapped his fingers on the edge of his desk, he’d been burning with questions since the start of the work day. He stormed out of his private office to stand in front of the reception desk.

“Excuse me, may I have everyone’s attention please?” Andy asked, clearing his throat. “Can I have everyone in the conference room, ASAP?”

Without any questioning, the conference room was full and all, well most attention had been on Andy.

“It has come to my attention that Michael has sent out wedding invites to his friends here at Dunder Mifflin and--”

“You brought us in here to talk about some damn invitations?” Stanley asked, definitely not amused. 

Andy nodded, “Yes, but it was only take a few minutes.”

Rolling his eyes in annoyance, Stanley returned his attention to his Sudoku puzzle book.

“As I was saying, about those invitations...” Andy returned. “Just out of pure curiosity, show of hands: Who here has received an invitation?”  

His eyes darted across the room as he called out the names of those who’d had their hands raised, “Tuna and Lady Tuna--Halpert duo, D-Dog--”

“Ugh, could you please not refer to Dwight as ‘D-Dog’“ Angela groaned in distaste

“Right-o. Halpert duo and Dwight.” Andy corrected, “Erin, Oscar, Daryll, Kelly, Ryan, Meredith and wait, Stanley? Really?”

“Is there a problem with that?” he asked.

Andy quickly took a step back, “No, no. Of course not. Alright, well... Everyone return to their stations.”

Andy: How could I not get invited? I mean, he invited Stanley? STANLEY! 

The regional manager put on a brave smile until the only person left in the conference room was Dwight, who only looked at him and confidently brushed past him to return to his own desk.

Dwight: So, Phyllis, Toby, Creed, Gabe, Kevin, Angela and Andy didn’t get invited to the wedding? How interesting. 

“What’s in the box Dwight?” Jim asked as the bespectacled man stood in the break room brooding of a small, unlabeled cardboard box.

Dwight scoffed, “Right as if I’d tell you.”

Jim flashed a glance at the camera before sipping his coffee, “You know... I think I overheard the others guessing what you had in there. Wanna know what their guesses were?”

“I do not.” Dwight said, abruptly leaving Jim in the break room alone.

Jim whipped out his cell and sent a text to Pam, asking her to join him in the break room.

“Hey, what’s up?” Pam asked, absentmindedly rubbing her belly.

“You notice that Dwight has been walking around with that cardboard box all day?” Jim whispered, careful to not interrupt Creed who’d been reading a newpaper.

“Yeah.” she said, placing her hands on her hips. “What about it?”

“I’m almost positive he’s hiding something. He won’t let it leave his side.” Jim said, “He even carried it to the bathroom with him.”

“Ok, gross.” Pam frowned.

“We need to figure out a way to get the box away from him.” Jim said, rubbing his chin. “I think I have an idea.”

“Good morning all.” said the CEO as he placed his hat on the coat rack.

Everyone immediately scrambled for something to make themselves appear busy. 

“Good morning, sir!” Erin smiled.

“Ah, Robert. Good morning.” Jim said walking over to Mr. California. “May I speak with you privately?”

“Halpert.” he said, looking Jim in the eyes in an attempt to read him and get a gauge on what he wanted to talk about. “Is this about a raise?”

“Uh, no. It’s not.” Jim said. “The uh, email you sent me?”

“Then, let’s get down and dirty.” Robert said, gesturing to his office. “Shall we?”

Jim nodded and walking into the room, the CEO following close behind. Pam watched out of the corner of her eyes, trying her best to hide the smirk threatening to grace her lips.

Pam: So, Jim and I learned that the great Robert California has a hard time working through his email. And sometimes, he accidentally sends emails to the wrong people. So, if you go up to him and say “About the email you sent me” he will bring you his office and ramble about random things that make no sense. 

Jim: Ultimately it’s about random emails he’s sent throughout the day but the things he apparently emails about are fantastically entertaining.

Pam: He doesn’t really give you a chance to tell him exactly which email he’s talking about. So, Jim and I conjured up a plan to tell Robert that he had received an email about a promotion for Dwight. 

Jim: Which buy us just enough time to swipe the box see what’s inside and put it back before he even realizes it’s gone.

She quickly gathered some papers and made her way over to knock on Andy’s office door.

“Ahh, if it isn’t Lady Tuna and Mini Tuna!” Andy smiled, “Come on in.”

Pam quickly closed the door behind her.

Jim emerged from the office, wearing a face of varying emotions as he returned to his desk.

“Can you believe it?” Jim said to Dwight. “This guy is actually thinking about investing in the beet farming business.”

Dwight slowly turned his attention away from his computer.

“I actually told him that there weren’t any beet farms near by so I couldn’t give him an idea on what business would be like here in Scranton.” Jim said. “Pfft, that’s-- I can’t believe I lied to him... I totally forgot about Schrute Farms. I need to go back and put in a plug for you--”

Dwight quickly stood to his feet, “No, you stay right here. You’ve screwed this up enough.”

Without so much as a glance at his mystery box, Dwight stomped over to Robert’s door.

“Ah, Mr. Schrute. Just the guy I needed to see.” Robert said, “Come in, close the door.”

Jim: And I learned that if you go up to Robert about investing in any non- conventional business, he will be all ears. So, it’s like a double whammy.

Jim quickly swiped the box into his arms once Dwight closed the blinds to Robert’s office and he joined Pam in Andy’s office.

“Alright, you guys. As regional manager, I should say that it does not look good that I am condoning the theft of someone’s personal belongings and--”

“Shush!” Pam hissed.

Jim carefully unfolded the flaps of the box, careful not to rip anything as he opened it.

Everyone gasped when they realized what was inside.

“Are those--” Andy started.

Jim reached into the box and sifted through the envelopes, “Kevin Malone, Phyllis Vance, Angela Martin, Creed Bratton, Gabe Lewis, Toby Flenderson Trashy Shiterson, and---”

“Andy Bernard!” Andy cheered. “YES!!!!!!”

Andy: “Nard-Dog, you are cordially invited to the union of Michael and Holly Scott on April 29th. It’s gonna be the kickass party of the year, yo!” How could I possibly have believed that Michael would have forgotten about little ol’ me?

“This is awful!” Pam whispered, “This is exactly why Michael should’ve just mailed them all to everyone’s houses rather than to the office.”

Jim nodded, “Yeah, well I was trying to do everyone a favor by not giving him everyone’s addresses.”

“So, what are we gonna do?” Andy asked. “We’ve got to let these guys know that they actually did get invited.”

“I’ve got an idea.” Jim smirked, “But Andy, this won’t work until we get you to cooperate.”

“Sure, anything!” Andy nodded.

“I’ll go return the box.” Pam said swiftly exiting the office with the box in tow.

“I got an anonymous call that an employee in this building is feeling unsafe and is requesting that I do a check.” Hank the security guard said.

Andy exited his office, putting on his best serious face, “Hey, Hank. What’s the problem?”

“I gotta check everybody’s bags and make sure nobody is carrying anything threatening.” he said, an annoyed undertone in his voice.

“Alright, everyone. Hank here needs to take some security measures. Please cooperate. It’s going to be quick and painless so long as everyone cooperates.” Andy said. 

Hank sighed as he walked over the reception desk. “Bags: briefcases, purses; box: plastic or cardboard; Anything that can hold or conceal any item. Put ‘em on your desk. Imma start with you little lady.”

“O-Oh! Uh, okay!” Erin said, quickly slamming her cross body bag onto the desk.

Everyone watched has Hank conducted his search, he’d gone through nearly everyone’s things except Jim, Dwight, Pam and Andy’s.

Eventually, he’d made through everyone’s things but when he’d gotten to Dwight. He’d finally gotten some resistance.

“You do not have to go through this. It’s just an empty box. Can’t you tell by how light it is?” Dwight spat.

“Oh come one Dwight.” Kevin groaned. “He’s gone through everyone’s stuff.”

“Yeah, just let the man do his damn job.” Meredith added.

Kevin: When Hank was going through my briefcase, he found a couple of condom wrappers; empty. I was pretty embarrassed. Now, people are going to start thinking I have sex in this office.

Hank opened the box and pulled out the contents of it. Everyone’s eyes shifted to the person next to them when they realized how familiar those golden envelopes looked.

“Dwight stole the remainder of the wedding invitations?!” Gabe asked.

Everyone gasped, and soon the entire office erupted with chatter.

Oscar: What an interesting development. Dwight actually hid the invitations from these guys? You know what? That’s a new low. Even for him.

Kelly: As it turns out, Dwight was hiding the invitations all along. That’s pretty crazy, right? I mean, I knew he was mad that he wasn’t Michael’s first choice as best man but neither was Jim. Originally, Michael wanted Ryan. I wonder what he would have done if he knew that he wasn’t even second choice.

Ryan: I totally knew about Dwight stealing the invitations. Michael texted me and told me that he sent a bunch of invites here to the office. Dwight picks up the office mail and leaves it for Erin to sift through. Why didn’t I say anything? Well, he bought my silence after I asked him for mine. 200 bucks. 

Toby: Would you look at that? I actually did get an invitation. It wasn’t the nicest thing I’ve ever read but it’s better than nothing. I should remember to thank Holly for getting me a spot.

“Dwight, how could you?” Angela spat.

Dwight walked away from the angry blonde to the break room where he could reflect on his mistake.

Dwight: I simply failed to consider every possible angle. I should’ve put them where no one in this office would have thought to look. The handbook drawer in the annex.

Jim: In search of entertainment, we found this. And it was interesting-- To say the least... But I guess, in a way, Pam and I are heroes.