𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐨

❛   —  careful  ?  of  forks  ?   ❜   she  shot  him  an  amused  look  as  she  pulled  over  a  chair  to  reach  the  cupboard.   ❛   —  are  the  spoons  hidden  somewhere  else,  or  is  the  little  stinker  only  interested  in  the  POINTY  utensils  ?   ❜

theodore !

❛   tease all you want, black. it’s all jokes until the kid stabs your hand with a four pronged weapon and i say that because i’ve experienced it.  ❜  he quipped, crossing his arms as he leaned against the counter.   ❛  he’s not a fan of spoons which should tell you all you need to know about the little tike. i always forget how short you are. need some help from a regular sized person?    ❜

@medablack​

❛    okay, this game isn’t funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are. ❜ 

❛   party pooper .  if you MUST know , i’ve hidden them from the kid. he tends to grab things, little stinker. pretty sure you can find a couple above the fridge, next to the knives. careful though.  ❜

     Sirius was normally not one that treaded quietly or carefully when it came to something that he WANTED. He was someone that was used to getting whatever and whoever that he set his sights on. But, tonight, that hadn’t been the case. He had bowed out quietly when he realized that Alice was with someone else. Granted, in this situation, there was a bit more complication to it than normal. He still should have expected his long-time friend to call him out on his strange behavior. 

         ❝ She’s not my woman. I was the one that LEFT. I don’t have any right to expect her to have waited around for the day I decide to show back up,  ❞ He responded. SIrius gave a cautious glance towards the couple in question, trying to be careful not to STARE for too long and make his interest noticable to Alice’s new boyfriend. The man seemed like a ticking time bomb. He had no idea what gesture, no matter how small, might set him off. He sighed as he glanced back at Ted,  ❝ Plus, it’s a bit more complicated than me just swooping in. That guy—-I don’t know—there is just something that seems off there. He is a bit of a possessive bloke–or well he seems to be. ❞

TED !

ted rolled his eyes, trying to glance back towards the couple without blatantly glaring at the male that had pushed his friends buttons so much he was tasked with listening to it.  ❛ RIGHT, well whatever the case, you’re obviously still hung up on her. plus if there’s something off, shouldn’t you be the knight in shining armor or whatever bullshit and swoop in to get her back?  ❜ 

the brunette crossed his arms, head shaking slowly as he mused over the information given. on one hand, he could imagine a scenario where sirius was overreacting and over analyzing every minute detail just because he still had feelings for the overly bubbly blonde.  ❛ fair, it’s complicated. what isn’t? if you’re getting an odd feeling it would be worth exploring a bit further. who the hell even is he, this is inbred central and no one knows the fucker?   ❜

@canismajcrs​

❛  so let me get this straight... father time over there is stealing your woman, the only woman i’ve ever heard you actually talk about more than once... and you decided to walk away? i have to be missing something this does NOT sound like you.   ❜

               in  spite  of  herself,  her  brow  furrowed  at  his  words.   ❛   —  she  wasn’t  THAT  bad,   ❜   andromeda  replied,  again  the  edge  seeping  into  her  voice  before  she  could  stop  it.  but  then  she  caught  herself,  and  her  brow  furrowed  deeper  with  a  small,  bitter  laugh.   ❛   —  i’m  sorry.  mixed  signals,  i  know.  i’m  just  …   ❜   andy  shook  herself  internally.   ❛   —  in  any  case,  i  doubt  sirius  brought  you  here  to  be  a  therapist.  what  did  you  say  your  NAME  was  again  ?   ❜

TED !

ted couldn’t help the small chuckle that pushed past his lips as he shook his head, offering her a shrug in return, seemingly unbothered by the mood swings she was currently exhibiting. hell, when he’d attended his own mothers funeral, he was far worse, so the idea of her apologizing for the grief she was trying to process seemed comical. it wasn’t her fault he just happened to be a git.  ❛ you lost your mom. no need for explanations. i would apologize but... hey, again... i didn’t know her.    ❜ the young man crossed his arms, glancing around for a glimpse of his roommate/date , unsurprisingly not able to locate him.  ❛ right, sirius and therapy don’t exactly go hand in hand. he just had other shit to tend to and i guess it was as good of an excuse as any to come. i tend not to ask questions where his family is involved, learned that the hard way. i’m ted. or theodore, if you prefer the pleasantries.    ❜

“  now  that  you  mention  it   ,   i  am  feeling  a  little  thirsty  .  ”    it  was  a  gentle  smile  that  graced  her  features    ,    porcelain  skin  flushed  slightly  to  showcase  her  interest            though  he  wouldn’t  guess  what  those  interests  actually  were   .    she  could  fuck  him   .   he  was  handsome  enough   .    but  her  eyes  kept  falling  to  his  hands   ,    not  for  the  length  of  his  fingers    ,    but   for  the  steady  way  he  held  the  flask   .    an  undeniably  talented  healer    ,   they  called  him   .  

theodore  tonks   .   she  wanted  him   ;   wanted  to  make  him  feel  important  and  brilliant  in  a  world  filled  with  second-rate  nobodies  .   even  more  so    ,   she  wanted  the  recognition  his  presence  at  the  hecate  house  would  offer  her  .  

actually   ,   she  really  only  wanted  the  recognition   .

marlene  stepped  forward   ,   allowing  her  finger  to  trail  softly  down  the  length  of  his  chest  before  reaching  his  torso   ,   nonchalantly  snatching  the  flask  from  his  hand  before  raising  it  .   “   to  being  six  feet  under   .   doesn’t  sound  too  bad   .   ”   she  mused   ,   eyes  lingering  over  his  form  before  asking   ,  “   how  tall  are  you   ,  exactly   ?   ”

TED !

his brows shot up, the slick smirk atop his lips quickly replaced by a dashing smile. in his defense, he didn’t usually flirt at funerals. granted, he didn’t exactly attend many funerals either but that was beside the point. it would have been rude to turn away the opportunity to get to know such an interesting young lady and the fact that he was delighting her pointed attention was just a reason to perk up. so of course, it was only natural for the man to straighten his stance and take a swig of his drink, all the while keeping his gaze level with hers. marlene held an intimidating presence and it would have made any other man cower. fortunately for him, ted happened to thrive when facing powerful ladies. he found the confidence thrilling. 

his eyes fell, following her lithe finger along its journey up to his chest, bottom lip falling slightly ajar as he struggled to stifle the soft chill that her actions erupted in his spine. LISTEN, it had been a while since he’d had an escapade. though he wasn’t exactly the kind of guy that kept his distance from the ladies, work had taken precedence what with the uproar of idiots waving their wands around spouting blood nonsense and there was hardly any time left in the day to unwind. so it was to be expected that her advances would awaken his dormant lust.   ❛ to getting there someday, sweet release.  ❜ he countered, clearing his throat and shifting his weight from one leg to the other. by god, the woman had him under a spell already. 

  ❛ tall ? uh, 6′, 6′1″ give or take. been a while since my last physical, care to help me figure it out ?  ❜

   “   you’re  not  the  drink  i  ordered   ,   ”    she  mused    ,     a  cigarette  rested  lazily  between  two  long   ,   manicured  fingers   .    “  but  you’re  definitely  a  tall  glass  of  something    …    sweetheart   ,    it’s  not  a  crime  keeping  that  mouth  busy   .    have  yourself  a  drink   . ”

TED !

a gentle smirk slowly stretched across his lips as he took in the bright - and frankly delicious - view, tilting his head ever so slightly in recognition as he unscrewed the lid of his flask. he wasn’t really sure if it was a compliment and surely that had been her intention, to have him guess whether or not he came off as appealing or not. he chose to go with the compliment.  ❛  i could be, if you’re feeling parched. i hear cigarettes leave the mouth dry, which could only mean, i’d be here to save you from impending discomfort. or you could join me for a toast ? ❜

               shit.  she’d  totally  misread  him,  then.  and  here  she  thought  she  was  good  at  reading  people.  it  was  a  pleasant  surprise,  though;  he  was  the  first  person  here  aside  from  her  cousin  who  wasn’t  regarding  her  with  a  mix  of  contempt  and  curiosity.  as  if  she  were  a  car  accident  they  couldn’t  look  away  from.   ❛   —  right.  andromeda.  named  me  for  a  princess  whose  mother  tries  to  sacrifice  her  to  a  sea  monster.  what’s  that  say  about  her  ?   ❜   normally  she  wouldn’t  be  so  blunt  around  a  stranger,  but  she’d  been  holding  in  her  bitterness  all  afternoon.  it  crept  into  her  voice  now  in  full  force,  acrid  and  sharp.  anger,  grief  …  who  was  to  say  they  weren’t  the  same  thing  ?   ❛   —  suppose  i  probably  shouldn’t  speak  ill  of  the  dead  and  all  THAT,  though.   ❜

TED !

❛  that she was about as peachy as the REST of the black seniors ? i have a theory. your grandparents MUST have soaked their pacifiers in poison. it’s the only logical explanation, right ?   ❜  theodore happily nodded along with her words, well versed in the art of bitter comments. family issues were the bane of his existence and he’d be damned if he judged anyone for the issues they had with their parents. everyone was decently fucked over by their upbringing in one way or another, and this particular family seemed to have a good range of depraved protagonists.  ❛ i’m not one for decorum and well, they’re not HERE so... by all means, speak away. it’s the only chance you have to really get a word in without facing their wrath, some might say it’s therapeutic.   ❜

               she  looked  at  him  again,  properly  this  time.  there  was  a  moment  of  hesitation  before  she  silently  took  the  flask.  if  mother  could  see  me  drinking  at  her  funeral.  from  a  strange  man’s  flask,  no  less.  she  handed  it  back  to  him  after  a  long  swig,  inclining  her  head  in  thanks.   ❛   —  how  do  –  did  –  you  know  …   ❜   my  mother  ?   ❛   —  druella  ?   ❜   if  she  didn’t  recognize  him,  there  was  a  good  chance  he  didn’t  recognize  her,  and  she’d  prefer  to  keep  it  that  way.  avoid  the  inevitable  questions.

TED !

❛  druella ?  ❜  so THAT was the broads name... ted let out a short chuckle, right hand flying up to scratch the back of his neck. he’d called her cruella only just a few moments ago, but of course he was smart enough to hold back that tiny little detail when speaking to her daughter. he was stupid, but not THAT stupid.  ❛ i didn’t actually. not quite sure how i ended up here actually, don’t think sirius was too keen on showing up either but he had other business that alligned perfectly and well, i can’t send a soldier out to war without backup. so here we are. you are.. uh, dromeda? AN-DROMEDA, sorry. your names are a bit of a mouthful. pretty though.  ❜

“ there’s never really an acceptable time, “   evan said,  peering around ted to take in the funeral at large.  he’d never been close to his aunt druelle and as such felt like there was some sort of sadness he was meant to be feeling that just wasn’t there.  answering ted’s  ‘ burning question ‘  killed two birds with one stone    ━    it kept him from talking to anyone else,  and it also gave him an excuse to drink,  assuming he could get ted to drink first.  “ but if you’re sneaky enough,  there’s never a wrong time. “

TED !

❛  you know what... that’s smart. creative problem solving. what are you, a ministry man ?  ❜  ted quipped along playfully, obviously content with the mediocre cop out he was given. truthfully, he wasn’t too concerned with his appearance or the degree of disrespect he was inflicting upon the deceased, he just really wasn’t in the mood to get in a brawl, considering he was scheduled to work the following morning. there was a pretty good chance he was going to be nursing a hangover, he didn’t need to add brewing a potion for a black eye to the mix as well, so he settled for taking a long sip out of his flask with permission from the strapping stranger.  ❛  want some ? ❜  

               ❛   —  it  isn’t,   ❜   andromeda  replied,  perhaps  more  curtly  than  she  intended  to.  easy,  andy.  she  let  out  a  small  sigh,  relenting.   ❛   —  but  if  you  take  a  drink,  it’s  socially  acceptable  for  us  to  start  drinking.  so  i  say  drink  AWAY.   ❜   she  cast  a  cursory  glance  at  the  man.  he  didn’t  look  familiar.  a  recent  acquaintance  to  the  family,  perhaps,  or  another  pureblood  trying  to  gain  favour  with  the  house  of  black.  it  didn’t  matter.  nobody  at  this  funeral  was  anyone  she  wanted  to  be  acquainted  with.

TED !

rather than react to her curt tone in shock or rage like he assumed this CROWD would, the young man simply nodded slowly, simultaneously reaching into the pocket on the inner lining of his jacket to retrieve his flask.  ❛   ah, well . . . i do live to serve the greater good and all that bullshit so, for you. cheers.  ❜ ted replied, offering a gentle smile before taking a long swig of his drink and promptly holding out the flask for her to take. though she didn’t know who he was, he was certainly aware of who she was. she was after all the only person at this shindig his roommate could tolerate and thus on their drunken escapades, he’d heard a bit about her and actually seen her face.  

❛  when is it acceptable to take a drink.. how disrespectful is that like a close six? seven?  ❜