The world is a circus, and I'm Pagliacci

little known fact about me i was actually isekai'd into this world from the video game world. i used to be a peggle orb

HELP! I had my husband sit in the cuck chair to watch but he brought along two wise cracking robots and now they're riffing me and the bulls technique!

Growing grapes will make you get Marvin Gaye stuck in your head more frequently than the average person, or so I've heard, y'know... through the grapevine

Some names just sound so ridiculously fake that had they been fictional, people would’ve rolled their eyes in complete disbelief. Like seriously. Wdym there’s a mf called Galileo Galilei. Stfu. You just made that up

Fastest man on earth is a guy called Usain Bolt. Sure I guess. There’s a poker player whose real name is Chris Moneymaker. Whatever. Scott Speed is a racecar driver. Founder of Tito’s Vodka is some guy called Bert Beveridge. There’s a former CNN bureau chief called William Headline. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

[ID: Andrew Drinkwater, water research center. Dr Dick Chopp, urologist. Tweet by @JimMFelton “Do you have any other urologists I could talk to?” PC Rob Banks, Avon & Somerset Police. Lieutenant Les McBurney, Sun Prairie Fire Department. /end ID]

US Army Staff Sergeant Max Fightmaster.

The Detroit Tigers have a player named James Outman, and used to have two different players named "Fielder".

Used to know three guys named Bonecutter. Their dad was a doctor.

this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem

This is killing me

listen this isn’t rat related but I’m going off the walls right now this is literally so fucking funny

this feels like the cat version of the thing where one creature always speaks the truth and the other always lies

I see people reblogging this with “to buy” but this pattern is free??? Someone even asked me “why don’t you charge money for it, it took you forever to put the document together” and I said “Not a lot of people have money and if they have some fabric scraps and a couple of buttons lying around they can make themselves a little mouse friend for free and that might make them happy and that makes me happier than receiving money???” Make yourself a liddol creacher! Heals the Soul!

my trusty old mouse finally died and i don't think i like this new mouse as much. :(

this is literally how i dance

This went from “wow that’s pretty neat” to “WTF ITS ALIVE” real quick

she did that

Scenario: You are watching this puppet show, and then after the song is over, the puppeteer smiles at you as if to thank you for your support, then her and the wooden mouse depart in opposite directions. 

If this thought hadn’t crossed anyone’s mind watching this already, re-watch it taking into consideration that gravity exerts an unpredictable chaos on dangling objects, that the puppet’s own wobbliness is most of the movement we see here and this woman simply has that flawless of a feel for how physics will continue moving the limbs at the slightest single twitch of her finger. This is a real deal fucking puppeteer no matter what her background or how long she’s been doing it. That wooden mouse is an appendage of this woman’s soul.

This is my first time hearing Despacito and it was not sad.

can you please elaborate on this

hey uhhhhhh OP. im begging you. tell us more

OP this is gonna keep me up at night