Why Bed-Sharing Worked for Us
For my first blog post, I felt like tackling a topic that has caused many a debate in my life recently. Bed-sharing.
Before I got pregnant, I was the "never will I ever bed-share" person.
When I was pregnant, I was the "I couldn't see myself ever bed-sharing" person.
After I had my baby, I quickly became the "Bed-sharing is what works for us" Mom.
When we first started, my husband and I agreed to never tell a soul. It was our little secret. We knew how his parents, my parents, our friends and the world would ultimately react so, my lips and his were to be sealed, 100%.
(^Looking back, I am a little embarrassed at how ashamed we were.)
Bed-sharing wasn't something I planned on. When I was 20 weeks pregnant, we found out that my son would be born with severe bilateral clubbed feet. When he was born, it was worse than we had thought. If you were to stand him up, his ankle bones would be the first part of him to touch the ground - before his feet. He looked like a pretzel and he would stay that way.
We met with an Orthopedic Surgeon when he was just 4 or 5 days old and he was immediately put into leg casts to manipulate his bones back to normal. Leg casts. From the tip of his toes to the top of his thighs, my 7 pound little guy had lost the ability to bend his knees or move his legs to a comfortable position.
The first night was hell. HELL. He wanted nothing to do with the bassinet, pack & play, crib, swing. I could have given him a pile of hundred-dollar-bills to lay in. Nothing was working. He would scream in pain, frustration and over-tiredness until he laid on my chest.
Anyone who has spent any time around an over tired infant can tell you, you just reach a point where you'll do just about anything to help them sleep.
So, we did it one night. Then the next. Then the next. Then the week after that. We became accustomed to it and actually started to really enjoy it. We are both incredibly light sleepers and if the baby so much as sneezed we were up ready to go.
Now, I'm not saying that bed-sharing hasn't caused problems with others. It has. Because of that reason, I decided to explain to our Pediatrician and our Orthopedic Surgeon what we had worked out for the sleeping scenario - and I all but hid my head waiting for their response but they surprised me. My Pediatrician told me that he co-sleeped with his daughter when she was a baby, and that it doesn't work for everyone but just to be safe about it and it would be fine. My Orthopedic Surgeon also told me that she bed-shares with her daughter still, and she is over 1 years old now. She told me, and I quote, "Just don't let anyone judge you. You do what works for baby _______. When people ask you how he's sleeping, say 'great' and leave it at that. It's none of their business where or when he's sleeping." <
So, if I could get two Doctors on board. Why was explaining this to my in-laws or any of their friends means to a Battle Royale?
It's not for everybody, but it was for us. Now as he's out of casts and has been in leg braces for quite some time, we are transitioning out of our bed and into the crib and it's going well. Some days are better than others, some days he wants nothing to do with anyone or anything other than me. And what I've learned is... that's okay.
You do what works for you and yours.
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