The Magic In My Pen

That stay perfectly preserved where I leave them.

Am I caught in amber

Like a mosquito from so long ago?

Am I placed, with utmost care, into the confines of a vial?

Am I suspended, dust free and magical, a beauty in a bell jar?

I do not know, for I am gone; I am carried on a tailwind to a different world.

A year hence, when I return, the region will be changed.

I will be changed.

The pieces of me stay held in time,

Untouched,

I stare at her and she slow blinks at me,

There were once two people, Unplagued by shattered glass, Known only to each other; Meeting on the train, Mornings in the rain, A whisper of the cherry blossom soaked Falling to mush, And the smell of their hemp woven jumper.

A funny thing is friendship lost, Pangs of the cost that time takes, Loss like a lover makes, And yet if I reached, you may reply, Not the same as you were then, And I, Not the same either.

I saw your old internet persona today On a lost piece of socialisation, Realisations crash like thunderstorms above, We have not been in love, ever, Or at least not for a decade passed, And yet, And yet did we not say it? Did we not display it?

But why is it that I Feel so so very Nervous?

Why is it that I Feel  Clingy?

Freckled skin, Sweet, softest, squirms, He is idle, he is still, Unless there are worms;

A perk of the nose, A scramble of feet, There they are, in the jar, The chomp, and you eat.

Sit in the jar And ask me for more, But you are so chonky; The legume I adore.

All I want  Is to lay upon her Forget about the rest of the world, It no longer exists.

My heart climbs free Through my intercostal spaces, Struggles through hers, And curls like a cat.

Her heart slow blinks, Woken from a slumber, And let's out the tiniest, softest Welcoming meow.

I suppose sometimes Everyone feels empty like this? Everyone carries the nothingness That comes with a heart burdened With such love.

And what happens when your softness Becomes lost, (Or is it just misplaced?) And your arms reach and grasp only air?

What happens when you despair With a bittersweet loneliness, For alone time is essential, But feeling lonely is often the consequence.

How I hate Waking and instantly missing you, An ache, Like I may break at any moment; I sigh with it, Trying to get it out; Where are you?

I am here, I am here, She whispers it to me, She knows.

She soothes, she croons, And my tangled heart and soul Stop wailing and struggling To listen to her glorious voice;

There grows a colony  On the harvested heart, I put it in water, A red island Pumping slaughter.

She hurt for a little while, Perhaps she may have Succumbed to rot?

Dear heart, I know, It is harder sometimes, Your head, hands, heart, Want to touch, feel, be near; I am always here, I am always here.