The Mad Cryentist

First of all, the movie they're asking for where a man gives up everything and it's a happy ending is called Hercules.

Second, Ariel did not give up everything for a man. She ran away from a life that made her unhappy so she could pursue her dream. That dream was NOT to marry Prince Eric, it was to experience the human world, which is something she has been obsessed with for a long time. If you want a girl to settle into what her father expects and not search for a life that makes her happy you disgust me and should stay far away from me.

And as someone who related to her it makes me so mad that people say she "gave up everything for a man" becuase

The amazing magical life you see her life before as is just a normal life for her

It isn't the life she wanted and you thinking she should just be happy shows you don't understand what it's like to truly long for big change. You think people can just choose to be happy. I envy you.

Mugshot operator: Next, please.

Mike: Hello! *waves cheerfully*

Mugshot operator: Sir, this is a mugshot.

Mike: A mug shot? I don’t even drink coffee!

Sully: *referring to something he himself caused* We have a problem.

Mike: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Mike: *chained up* Do you have to chain me?

Randall: Uh… no.

Mike: Then why did you do it?!

Randall: *shrugs* It seemed kinda fun.

Randall: Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Sully: *hiding in the closet* I’m gay!

Mike, holding a phone: C’mon pick up, pick up, pick u- Hiii! I love you soooo much! Can I have 2500 dollars?

Celia, on the other end: No! Why on earth do you need 2500 dollars?!

Mike: Ohh, y’know… For an escape room?

Celia: You’re joking right?! What kind of escape room costs 2500 dollars?!

Mike: …Prison.

Celia: …I’ll be there in ten. Idiot.

Mike: That’s greatly offensive to my people!

Randall: Collage dropouts?

Interviewer: When did you know that you wanted to be a professional scarer?

Randall: I just wanted to be a star any way I got it. I said if I wasn’t top scarer by 40, I was just gonna become a serial killer.

Interviewer: Well, how old are you? I’m getting nervous…

Sully: Hey Mike? This is probably gonna come as a shock to you but… I’m gay.

Mike: *not even looking up* That’s not a shock.

Celia: Any guy can be babygirl, but it takes a man to be a wife.

Sully: Do you ever think before you speak?

I am going to overblot right now I swear 🤬

So since Artfight crashed or something when I tried to upload it (I swear it wasn't over when I tried) I'll post it here.

Ewan Montagu and others. I NEED to play that pathetic stupid egotistical man so bad. I feel like I could play him well, as I kind of relate to him even when he’s being an ass, so I understand how someone would realistically act in his situation. Plus, I’ve been memorizing his lines for fun. (I have like six vocal stims from him) I would feel completed in life if I played Ewan Montagu professionally.

Hester Leggatt and others.  I’d just like to sing Dear Bill and The Ballad of Willie Watkins on stage, ok?! To play Hester requires restraint but also emotion. It would be so much greqt. For the very little time Ivor is on stage I think he would be fun. I could take or leave Spillsbury, but I admit singing “H*tler shits himself as she blows him a kiss” on stage would be the story of a lifetime. It would be so much fun to have to go back and forth between five different characters who are all so different. It would really keep me on my toes, it's a perfect role for an adhder.

Jean Leslie and others. Jean is the best and I love her. I’m not passionate about playing her, but it would be fun and I bet I could do it well. To interact with Hester would be fantastic, but I’d rather be her. I don't have emotional attatchment to the other roles, but Reggie would be fun I guess. And I can act out his God, That’s Brilliant section pretty well already. 

Johnny Bevan and others. I would love to play Johnnayyy actually. Playing a character who is so serious is circles back to being silly sounds like a blast. And I’d get to play Ian Fleming, who is one of my favorite minor characters and I love acting out his parts! The thing stopping this from being #3 is Haseldon. I really don’t want to play him. I just don’t have the physicality to do that. (But I do for Spilsbury???)

HELP WHY ARE THEY ALL BOYS EXCEPT A MURDEROUS RUSSIAN MANNEQUIN?!