Everytime i watch this video for a split second im back in that basement. For a fraction of a second I hear you fade out, still on key, eyes closed with a slight smile, and for that fraction of that second im the happiest person on the planet. And then its over. The years behind me and the years in front of me no longer balance out, and that constant, that metronome scale ticking that keeps me from fumbling is just an echo. I used to practice my cursive so your name looked well centered but I always struggled with that transition from B to R. I once thought to myself I have to get it perfect. I have to do it now. And then id think how silly an urgency to cling to. We once weren't afraid to speak out minds and while it's been far too long since anyone's said it, its still as true as it ever was. And it still means what it meant. "It is what it is, and it ain't what it aint" Im so tired, and this world is fucking ugly, and I wish I fought for you. I wish anything I ever fought for I was alloted. I wish it was me. Ive loved 4 things so much so that without them, I couldn't walk straight. That with them,anything was possible. I never got to keel any of them. And i never want to love that much again..

















