Bed

She subconsciously traced shapes on her belly as if it was a way for her to calm her nerves as she stared straight ahead— hoping to see Conner’s truck come to view down the gravel driveway.

She had been in Smallville for weeks now. And it had been the most peace she’d been at ever since she was thirteen. Until today though.

It was 1:15 pm. The second trimester ultrasound appointment is at 2 pm. But she had been waiting outside since after lunch. She was never patient. But for him she was willing to be. ( Or is this just the fear of losing someone again? )

Swiping her phone open, checking at the messages. Or the lack thereof. Last message was her reminding him of her second ultrasound appointment— and her first appointment in Kansas— but it was left on delivered.

“Come on, pretty boy,” she grumbled. She looked away from her phone for a moment then looked back, like that would somehow, magically make Conner text her back.

She heard the door open behind her, Morgan wrapped Conner’s flannel— one she definitely didn’t steal this time— around her more as she glanced through her shoulder to see Martha peeking out.

“You should get inside, honey, it’s getting chilly out there,” she said softly.

Morgan didn’t reply immediately. She had a feeling— or at least Chat has a feeling— that Martha knew where Conner was. But of course, she didn’t ask. She didn’t push. It was up to them to tell her anyway. She was just thankful for how nice Martha and Jonathan were to her.

“It’s okay, I’ll wait a little longer here,” Morgan whispered.

You’re being stupid Mags— no, she is learning to wait. This is good— he is gonna stand her up— did he not do that before?-- Oh like when he didn’t attend her ballet reci— GUYS! Let’s not—

“At least put on another jacket,” Conner’s mother said, handing Morgan her own thick jacket. Morgan took it without a protest and slipped it on. “He’ll come, dear.”

She noticed the hesitation in Martha’s voice.

When Martha returned back inside, Morgan whispered, “I hope he does.”

By 1:45 pm, Morgan stood up, feeling stupid. She couldn’t wait any longer.

When will she learn that believing promises would just leave her heartbroken? She went back inside and asked Martha for directions to the clinic, rejecting the old woman’s offer to drive her there.

You need to learn how to accept help— I did. But it ended up with me being stood up, Morgan shot back to the taunting voices in her head. Morgan was never the type to hope, really. But she thought… with how good Conner was to her, he’d be different. “You knew better,” she chided herself.

Morgan told herself that she was disappointed and angry because Smallville is new to her and she doesn’t— she wasn’t so sure where to go and she relied too much on Conner to guide her. Not because Conner had left her alone to deal with this despite saying he’d be there.

***

It's not that Morgan hates hospitals. But ever since she woke up from her deep sleep in a white, sterile, and somber room with the strong smell of alcohol, she had been uneasy in spaces like these. And last time she was in a clinic, she at least had Jacyn with her. Jacyn will never stood you up— omg move on– just saying— and Conner would nev— okay, GUYS quiet!--

Now she’s alone as she laid there, shivering at the cool gel on her belly under the bright fluorescent lights. The voices quiet down when the technician showed her child through the screen. He was already bigger than she last saw him.

Her heart swelled. Morgan thinks he’s beautiful and she loves him already.

“—its a boy! Congratulations!” Morgan heard the doctor say when she tuned back in. Tears pricked her eyes, not sure if it was because this was feeling more real and real or because she couldn’t help but think how alone— with no hand to hold onto this time— she was in this moment despite how beautiful it was.

And she already knew the gender long ago— Our fault— our bad— whoopsie!— woaaaaah look!— and she was looking forward to seeing his reaction instead. She tried blinked the tears away before they could fall, she had gone through so much and this isn’t something she should cry about. But a stray tear managed to escape— tears of joy, she decided to call it instead.

It was over quickly, Morgan found herself standing by the exit of the clinic, staring at the sonogram in her hands with trembling hands, in a call with her Harley and Ivy who was back in Gotham.

She doesn’t need anyone and she was stupid for being terrified of going on her own when she knew she was capable of handling this. She had always handled things on her own. And maybe she shouldn’t be angry with him. This isn’t his responsibility to prioritise.

He still should've said a heads up— maybe he’s out being a SUPER— girl wha—

Morgan just hoped Conner had a good explanation as she stepped out of the clinic, heart heavy.