thelightchase

CoCo Beware by Caveman

Recommended if you enjoy The Local Natives, The Soil and The Sun, Naive Thieves, sunny days and/or songs to play with your windows down. Listen to CoCo Beware on  Music here and on Spotify here.

untitled unmastered. by Kendrick Lamar

Recommended if you enjoy heavy-burdened hip hop music, music with soul, saxophones, piano licks, stream of consciousness rhymes and/or songs that make your speakers rumble. Listen to untitled unmastered. on  Music here and on Spotify here.

Endless Light by O’Brother

Recommended if you enjoy Russian Circles, Thrice, Colour Revolt, post-rock, crunchy, droning guitars, massive walls of sound, songs of lamentation and/or haunting melodies. Listen to Endless Light on  Music here and on Spotify here.

I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it by The 1975

Recommended if you enjoy quirky synthesizers, 80's music, thought provoking lyrics, dancing around the living room and/or tight rhythm pockets. Listen to I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it on  Music here and on Spotify here.

A Quiet Darkness by Houses

Recommended if you enjoy The Album Leaf, Hammock, Son Lux and/or melancholy melodies. Listen to A Quiet Darkness on  Music here and on Spotify here.

Still Life by Dawn Golden

Recommended if you enjoy Lorde, Kye Kye, Phantogram and/or hip hop beats. Listen to Still Life on  Music here and on Spotify here.

When you are a child, there is always something new to learn and that new thing is exciting and joy-giving. Every day is an exciting new experience. Once you’re older, you recognize that life is hard. You don’t see the beauty in the every day anymore. You’re used to a sunset. You don’t feel the need to get excited when you see a bird perched on your window sill. Life has become monotonous, and you’re ready for the next new thing. And once you’re used to that you’re ready for the next thing. The cycle continues. Instead of embracing life itself, you start looking for what life can offer you next.  Allow me urge you to try to stay enamored. Life isn’t ordinary and neither are the people in it. Every breath and every moment will never happen again.

Life has a ton to offer you and me, and it’s already all here. There is something to be thankful for within every second. Let’s fall back in love with life today. Listen to your favorite song. Dance like a child. Call an old friend. Tell the people you love that you love them. Laugh. Cry. Sing. Grow. Wash dishes and play with the bubbles. Give a stranger a hug. Allow yourself to be captivated by the simple joy found in the every day. And then do it all again tomorrow.

For the musicians and nerdy people like myself who are reading this, I would not recommend the way I recorded these songs...haha! It was such a painstaking process! For the drums (played by my brother Bryce Cruise) we cobbled together a group of microphones that we borrowed from our church and plugged them into a board which went into Garageband. For some reason I couldn't use more than one channel in Garageband so I had to EQ and compress them as one group (Gross!). It was insane, but I think they came out pretty decent for the way we had to record them. The cool part of recording drums was that we recorded them in a ball room (yes a ball room) on the top floor of my Dad's office which is a 100 year old house. Its all wooden and makes for a great drum space. I was eventually able to buy Apple Logic Pro X and moved everything into that. The guitars I recorded with a single SM57 and the vocals with a Blue cardioid vocal mic. Super simple track by track. Bass was direct in with a software amp. Keys were midi with the sounds from Logic. Again, I don't recommend doing it this way haha!

In the end, I wouldn't change how I did it even though it was a struggle at times. I think the process was a good thing that shaped the music to be what it is. Its definitely imperfect, but I like that. I like music that has mistakes and imperfections in it. I think that gives it character and shows that the musician actually played their instrument or took twelve times to sing the harmony right. We're human and we're flawed. I think when music reflects that, then its honest and begins to say something with meaning and worth.

Taking a year to write this EP has been such a good process and has helped change me. I'm by no means perfect at all. But I'm in a much better place than I was a year ago. There is no way I would be in the place I am now without my incredible Wife, really good and faithful friends, and the Grace of God. I hope these songs aren't just for me. They are my story, but I'm hoping you can find your story in it too.

Brandon

I felt as though the world at large was misguided and I had some special insight into how everything was actually created by God as described in Genesis. Whatever those seven days were - whether actually seven literal days, or some long passing of time poetically described as seven days - it never bothered me. That day though, my brother told me he believes in evolution. Let me back up real quick though.

My brother was the most in-to-God person I knew. He was going to college for a degree in something Bible related (honestly I don’t know what his degree was in) and he eventually did some time at seminary. BUT HERE HE WAS saying he believed in evolution.

I still remember that drive home from the city where we talked about it. Everything seemed to fade away and I can still picture it. I mean I knew I was in a car but all I remember is my brother and I was surrounded by white, like something you would see in a tv show. Nothing but white all around us; no floor, no ceiling, no end to it all…like I was dreaming or something.

Fast forward a bit. I don’t know how much time passed but it was at least a year later. I slowly started rethinking everything but still held deeply to my conservative beliefs but I was … more open. A friend came out as gay and I immediately texted him and told him I loved him and from that point on I had no problem with homosexuality. 

And then I had another conversation with my brother, in his car.

This one didn’t feel as much like a dream, actually not at all. We were driving and coming up to a stop sign and I don’t remember the entire conversation but I remember one short phrase that he said that changed everything for me. 



“You have to be careful saying, ‘God says.’ ”

A simple phrase that replays in my mind to this day. Right away, all I could think of is how I am no better than the terrorist ideologies that do everything  because God says.

Or how I am no better than Westboro Baptist standing outside funerals with their “God hates fags” signs, simply because they are so committed to what God says.

The Dead Sea Scrolls cracked opened my mind and then “God says” shattered it. I’ve been on a journey ever since.

Faith isn’t about being right or wrong. It isn’t about knowing everything there is to know or making sense of every single thing. Honestly, I don’t even know what it’s about at this point, but what I do know is it is a journey that is worth taking.

The Dead Sea scrolls changed my life - I was dead but know I see.

(PS: That last line sounded way better in my head)

For each of these paintings, I wanted to keep it concise and understandable, rather than my usual abstract style. My first idea was to create an image that represents the growth that can flourish in humility, hence the flower’s roots growing into the moon.

This photo was inspired by a similar idea, but instead of humility being the basis of growth, this painting depicts humility as the growth. I think this is a cool notion because the most effective growth I have experienced is in the moments when I am putting others first, which is the essence of humility and empathy and is something that we light chasers hope to accomplish with each post. 

This is my third and final idea as well as the photo that Caleb chose to use as the cover photo this month. I think it’s cool that he picked this one without me even telling him the meaning behind it, because I think this one has the most genuine meaning. I did some research on animals symbolic to Native American tradition. This little creature stands out to me because he is symbolized as a wise and noble messenger by the Northern Tribes. On the other hand, the Plains tribes describe foxes as a trickster, or one who desires the demise of others. 

The fox, illuminated by the moon, is an image of tranquility. However, you can’t see the intentions he has just by looking at him. (P.S., if you’re wondering why I keep referring to the fox as a “he,” it’s because I gave him a masculine name. His name is Rupert.) Each day, we choose which fox we will be. The wise, noble messenger who desires others to see wisdom in humility, or the manipulative fox who desires to use his words to see others fail. The fox represents our human condition in an elegant way. As you read or post to @thelightchase, I hope the image of the fox reminds you to check your motives. May we always make our aim to uplift, to love, to enlighten, and to learn. 

I know that it will always be impossible to grasp something objectively, and that is what has made this so hard. I feel like my whole life, since I realized what the difference between subjective and objective opinions are, I have been trying to get here thinking that this would somehow be satisfying, and it’s actually terrifying.

It’s not even that I struggle to believe in a grand design in the world, because it’s so clear that the world didn’t just happen. 

Although it is possible. In the span of infinity, anything is possible, and if we have just always been, then it is completely possible for something this perfect to have happened.

But it’s not likely at all. What I struggle with is believing in Christianity vs. Other religions. 

What about Buddhism, or some ancient eastern religions, or Islam, or something else?

Is it just that I am not satisfied with God?

I have literally prayed for years that God would show himself to me in some undeniable way, and it always seems that I am just convincing myself that there is a God, instead of God convincing me that he is actually there.

That is what I struggle with most. I feel like my whole life, people have been trying to convince me that there is a God. And that that God is the God of the Bible.

I mean, 6 years ago, If I were to stumble across this on the internet, I would look down on this person, and say something like, “They probably just can’t get past something that they don’t like about Christianity.” and maybe that is valid. 

But is it okay to say that I don’t like that fact that trillions of people will be in hell some day? Is it okay to yell at God out of anger and out of doubt? 

It is okay to come to the conclusions that I am currently at in my stage in life? Why did God even create us? To glorify him? I mean, if you look at the human race, there honestly isn’t that much glorification going on. Is it bad to think that receiving glory is not God’s primary interest for mankind? 

Is it okay to wonder why it is wrong for someone to love somebody else of the same sex? They can’t help it. What if I was never able to have a life, or start a family with somebody simply because I didn’t like girls. That seems horrible.

Something else that I am working through is comparing God to the church. and the church is so broken. If Christianity is real, I must remember that God is NOT the church, and the church is NOT God. That is the point of Christianity. People trying to be more like Jesus, and as humans, it is scientifically proven that we will fall short.

What hurts the most about ALL of this is the pain that I am causing to my fiancé. It hurts her. Especially when she is so sold out. When she says things like, “Caleb. You have NO IDEA how loved and cared for and held you are every single fucking moment. Not just by me, but our father.” I still don’t feel comforted and when I tell her something that makes her feel comforted, it doesn’t make me feel the same. It hurts her.

I hate it. I am tired of hurting her. I want it to stop. 

The thing is, is that I CANNOT just make myself suddenly believe. I was raised to be a person of conviction. I can no longer ignore these thoughts. Plus, I have prayed for God to help my heart. I want to believe. God, If you can give Daniel, or John, or Olivia, Or ANYONE dreams… then why don’t you give me the most vivid dream ever, and make it something that I can’t explain away? Please! That is my prayer tonight. 

One Wild Life: Soul

When a journey through belief, doubt, and hope for the future - part 1 (also my review for I AM MOUNTAIN) ended, I was wrestling with a ton of ideas, struggles, thoughts, and questions. 

On March 14th 2015, I was frustrated with life. I went to college at a pretty conservative school, I was graduating $100,000 in debt with a degree that I was originally planning on using to get a job in a church, I no longer wanted to work in a church, and my fiancé and I were not getting along with this Bible stuff. 

A friend of mine who also writes for thelightchase.com recommended that I check out The Liturgists (a podcast we all highly recommend, btw). On March 14th, and around that time in general, I was pretty much done with Christianity. When he recommended The Liturgists to me, I ignored his suggestion. I didn't want to hear people talk about God or church or the Bible. Especially if it was going to be christianease. Again, in my head I gave Gungor and The Liturgists the contemporary Christian label. Fortunately I took a listen and soon after Gungor released One Wild Life: Soul. 

Quick note - Michel Gungor is awesome. For most songs, Michael usually writes his own blog about them. If a blurb exists for the song, the title of the song will link back to said blurb! 

Introduction

“The past becomes a texture, an ambience to our present.” -Paul Scott

There is truly no better way to set the tone of an album. The sound of a choir tuning. Dissonance. Texture. Atmosphere. As simple of a track that this is, I never skip it when I listen to the album (Partly because I listen to it on Vinyl and that is super hard to do with a turntable). It sets the tone. I truly believe that you do not have the entire album unless you have this track. 

This track gives me a place to let my past become texture and bask in the ambience of it all. 

Lion of Rock

NERD MOMENT:

“the ProTools sessions had more tracks than our mix engineer, Adam Hawkins had ever seen. (upwards of 160)” -Michael Gungor

If you know anything about mixing and mastering..... THAT IS NUTS. I took music production classes in college and usually you have 1-2 tracks per instrument.

Moving along....

One of my favorite memories that I have experienced in my recent past was sitting on the beach in Newport, CA. Olivia and I visited a friend of mine and stayed a few nights with him. He lives a block from the beach (Lucky guy). 

We sat on a lifeguard stand and talked for a few hours about being alive and what it meant to all of us. As we were looking north, towards LA, the Los Angeles lights were refracting through the smog of the city. The smog and crisp ocean air were at odds, clashing below the storm clouds that were rolling in. It was as if a battle was taking place.  It looked like a painting. I could see it all. The give and take. Humans were moving about below, while the air above was uncontrollably clashing with the California mountains. We take this planet that we call home for granted. Too often we take and take and take. Every breath, human, insect, tree, dog, fish ... every wave, gust of wind, is an exchange of energy. It’s incredibly sacred. You just have to slow down enough to realize it. EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL, MASSIVE, WORKING TOGETHER. 

I think it is brilliant how Michael and Lisa put their ideas into songs. Listen specifically for all of the different textures working together to create one incredible sound. Just like the divine and nature. 

The sounds that I love specifically: - The Bass Drum that comes in first at 2:28 - THE SYNTH. OMG. at 2:46   .......   AND again at 3:07. It’s massive. - The low, droning, cow bell that hits with almost every snare hit. It adds so much. Listen for it. You can hear it specifically at 3:25. - The Strings at 3:55 - The Tom Drums that sound so EPIC - 3:58

Just listen. 

Hayley, who also contributes to thelightchase, won Gungor’s drawing contest when they released the album. She highlighted some of the lyrics from this song (”every breath is give and take”). Here is her drawing! Follow her here. 

Watch their music video for it below: 

Moon Song

The start of this song sounds like something from Interstellar. (If you haven't seen that movie, you need to. If watching the movie alone doesn’t give you enough of a reason to nerd out, there is a whole Liturgists podcast on it.) 

Moon Song is one of my favorite jams on this album. So much goodness here. I love to see God through nature. Seeing him in the trees, the planets, the animals, etc... This song continues the theme of examining what is happening around us so we can be amazed. 

“You are the sun You are the sun You shine your light on everyone

I am the moon I am the moon I come alive because of you”

One Wild Life

The title track not only for this album, but for the next two as well. (In case you didn't know, Gungor is releasing 3 albums this year. All under the One Wild Life name.) - Spirit was just released.

“One Wild Life is a remembrance of how holy and sacred this life we’ve been given is. It’s the effort to open the human heart wider.... This first album, Soul, was born out of a tremendous amount of both pain and love.  2014, the year that gave birth to this project, was the hardest year of our lives. In 2014, we felt betrayed. We felt judged. We felt abandoned. But we also felt exceptionally loved. We felt hope. We felt passion and faith. So we wrote about all of it. From the birth of our daughter to the re-awakening of faith, hope, and love.” Michael Gungor

Things to listen for:  - I am blanking on what it is called, I learned about it in Music History in college. At 2:01, Lisa sings the word “poetry” and she actually makes it sound like poetry with the fluctuations of her voice. Its incredible. Gungor does this all throughout their music.  - Michael’s straight out of the 80′s WILD guitar solo at 2:50. This whole song sounds straight out of the 80′s. You can't help but nod your head.  - My favorite drum fill on the album at 3:12 and ending around 3:16. I could keep that on repeat and be satisfied. 

We Are Stronger

On their twitter page, Gungor says they have been eluding genre since 2007. This song couldn't prove that more. 

You can start to see that as this album progresses, that the theme is really based around give and take. Not only does the planet give and take, but we need to as well. 

“I can't meet you eye to eye But I can take your hand in mine

We are better together We are the ocean tide Freedom and the anchor When we're together”

“This song continues the album’s theme so far of one unified existence. Human beings are part of the fabric of reality. We give the universe eyes and prefrontal cortexes to see itself with. Not only that, but we share energy and even atomic particles with one another constantly. What makes me me was given to me by other people, and through my life I live in this constant give and take, until death—which is the final form of giving that we know of in this earth.”  -Michael Gungor

What may possibly be my favorite part of the album, happens in the bridge of the song at 1:55. Take a listen!

“Every black life matters Every woman matters Every soldier matters All the unborn matter

Every gay life matters Fundamentalists matter Here's to life and all its branches.”

GO ON. Everyone matters. The point of this song isn't to derail the #blacklivesmatter idea, which I am a supporter of. The point of the song is to show that everybody matters. 

Michael says it better than me, 

“The danger we felt was that by adding anything to “every black life matters”, we hoped people wouldn’t see that as echoing the misguided response to “#blacklivesmatter” of #alllivesmatter.  While it is technically true, of course, that all lives matter, this response to #blacklivesmatter is misguided because it fails to understand the point, and actually negates it. Nobody is saying (or have ever said) that straight, rich, white men’s lives don’t matter. It is an important thing to remember that specifically black lives matter in the midst of systemic racial oppression that manifests itself in things like mass incarceration from the unjustly waged war on drugs fought primarily in poor black communities or the countless young black men being shot, beaten, humiliated, and dehumanized by the police. Saying “white lives matter” in that context is to ignore the very real inequality present in our societies.  This is why we left out the privileged positions of “white, male or straight” in our list of lives that matter in this song.  Still, some have taken offense that we added anything to the list at all, as though we were trying to echo the sentiment of #alllivesmatter. I assure you, we were not.”

I love the transparency here.

“Until we learn to see the other, the different, the enemy as our brother or sister, we have no hope for true peace. That’s the reason for including the one potential ‘oppressor' into the list by saying “fundamentalists matter.”  Because for me, and many others, fundamentalists are the enemy of everything we are about. If there’s any group I have a tendency to dehumanize and marginalize in my own heart, it’s the people I perceive as fundamentalists. So if I’m going to call out the splinter in the fundamentalist’s eye in how they judge and look down on other people who are in reality equal to them, I might as well recognize the log in my own eye as well.”

I was talking to an old friend the other day. She asked me what thelightchase is. I told her every thought gives me an opportunity to learn. I choose to approach every person with humility. Instead of wanting others to learn from my “enlightened” point of view, I want to learn from others instead. I will speak my mind when asked, but only with humility that I very well could be wrong. I am open to that. 

 Things to listen for:  - All the people that matter are singing together at 2:25. Great use of metaphor.  - The specific drum fill that happens all throughout this song. Specifically at 3:13. 

Light

Ready to have tears brought to your eyes? Seriously, go get some tissues. 

Whew.

“In 2014, a woman tweeted that she would be faced with "a real ethical dilemma" if she became pregnant with a baby with Down Syndrome. Richard Dawkins responded "Abort it and try again. It would be immoral to bring it into the world if you have the choice." Also in 2014, we had a beautiful little girl with Down Syndrome and two heart conditions. We named her Lucette, which means 'light." Lucie has taught us how much every life matters. This song is for her and all the beautiful people on this planet with special needs. We think that you make this world a better place.” 

Need I say more?  GENRE ELUSIVE. 

At Sea

If there is one song on this album that described where I was at the most, it was by far this one. 

“I followed the signs I followed the stars I followed anything to get where you are

But you were asleep Far out at sea You couldn't hear Oh you couldn't see me.”

In my life, I was struggling to hold onto any sort of metaphysical concept. On March 14th, I lost it. I had “done everything right” and I had “believed the right things” but my world was still falling apart. 

The more I read the lyrics to this song, the more they hit me. Lisa is telling her story of deconstruction and reconstruction. It is beautiful. When you are going through something like deconstruction of your faith, it is scary. You can probably sense that through reading my post above. 

You find your feet again. Although I was drowning in March, I learned how to swim in June. Around the end of July, I noticed people were building life rafts. The craziest thing started to happen, I built a life raft of my own. A raft that only God could help me make. A foundation that is built off of loving your enemies. I was slowly able to use this raft to help others out of the sea. Together, with these individuals, we are rebuilding. We don’t know it all, but we are having a lovely time reconstructing, and maybe some day we’ll be able to walk on water like Peter. 

Land of the Living

Land of the Living is actually a cover song. I just love the tune of this song. 

I read a quote a few years back that said, 

“Grace is most distorted when you only have grace to a point.” - Stephen Morrison 

You cannot love in moderation. I don’t think that means you need to let yourself be taken advantage of.

'Love your neighbor as yourself.' -Mark 12:31

You must love yourself in order to love others. It is important. 

Olivia and I have been attending a fellowship on Sunday Mornings. A friend of ours spoke on the anatomy of empathy. He explained that relationships are built off of hierarchies. We should use our self awareness to put ourselves below others and push them forwards. Super interesting stuff. I am planning on having him write a little post for thelightchase, so stay posted!

Us For Them

I was taught in school that the Bible is written by people who consistently miss the mark of who Jesus is. No human could live up to the perfection required by God. Then Jesus came and said, love. It’s that simple. 

I used to have an extremely hard time reading the Bible. When I would read through the Old Testament, and even some of the New Testament, the wording would really bother me. The prophets talk to much about judgement and revenge, and it is no wonder the Jews put Jesus to death. He was everything opposite of what the Old Testament states. Jesus did come to judge the world. 

HE JUDGED IT WITH LOVE. 

“Let’s prepare the way of the Lord wielding mercy like a sword.”

Am I 

Michael says it best, 

At the end of every question is a question mark. As any parent of a toddler can attest to, there is no question that can be answered all the way down to the bottom.

"Why is the sky blue?”

“Because the molecules in the air scatter blue light from the sun more than red light.”

“Why?”

“Well, I suppose that’s just how our brains read and categorize the effects of how these particular particles are structured.”

“Why do our brains do that?”

“That’s how we evolved.”

“Why do we evolve?”

“Well, we just do. It’s how things are.”

“Why?”

“It just is! I don’t know, stop asking me questions!!"

At the end of every question is a question mark. I believe at the bottom of it all is great mystery. I am that I am.  

This song is just as musically confusing as it is lyrically. Give it a shot. Try to keep the beat. Try to keep track of what word came first. It’s hard to do. It’s also brilliant. That is the point of the entire song. 

The whole song Michael asks, Am I. At 4:25 he switches it to I Am. This echoes what God said in the wilderness to Moses. God is. That is how God explained who he is. He is all. God is “I Am.”

You

I will be honest. At first, I thought this album was cheesy. I think it was because I still wasn't sure about how I felt with the whole Jesus thing at the time of it’s release. 

The first chorus says, 

When I was born you were my breath You warmed my skin against your breast You were my food you were my light You were my morning and my night It's always only ever been It's always only ever been you

Guys. That was my story as a kid. God was all I ever knew growing up. Then I made the choice to follow him myself at 5 years old. 

And then I met you on the wall You were seventeen inches tall A painted smile across your face I prayed for heaven, prayed for grace I gave my life when I was ten I prayed in tongues was born again It's always only ever been you

That was my life. From birth to 17, all I ever knew was God. My world revolved around Him. 

in the next part of the song, Michael is referencing the ebb and flow of spiral dynamics. There is a Liturgists podcast on spiral dynamics. Here it is in a nut-shell.

We all are on that spiral. At some point in our lives we grow past certain parts and resort to certain parts. I highly recommend reading about it! It’s an interesting topic for sure! 

The next part of the song related to me so well. 

I saw the writing on the wall You were a man and that was all There was no God in heaven above There was no perfect saving love It was always only ever me It was always only me.

It was only ever in my head. These ideas and constructs of God and the creator were all I had ever known. 

This song threw me off the first time I heard it. I thought the last chorus was going to take a different direction. When I heard this song, I was still not wanting much to do with Jesus, the Bible and God. The last verse goes like this: 

And then my world was torn apart I felt a ground, I felt a heart And all the universe was one Just like a Father, Spirit, Son My heart is open once again A distant love, a forlorn friend Maybe it's always ever been You

If you are there As the world unfolds its harsher fare As the spiral pairs the seams As the holy haunts my dreams I will stay right here with you

You were there Every broken heart and tangled care Jesus, Teacher, Brahman Light Son of God and Source of Life And it's always only you

WHOA. Gungor found God again?! What? How?

God is pushing humanity forward. He is drawing humanity to himself. God is love. 

Vapor

SHOUT OUT TO ECCLESIASTES. 

This song took me over two years to write. For years, doubt was a significant part of my life and my art. While I was able to manage it most of the time, there were times when it was crippling and it would cause me to spiral into despair or depression.  So as a guy that made most of my living writing and singing songs about God, it was terrifying and then ultimately incredibly liberating when I finally full let go of trying to believe anything at the end of 2012.  

It wasn’t until my experience of fully letting go of my ideas and beliefs about God and religion in particular, that I was able to engage with mystery in a different way.  During most of my deconstruction, mystery was present, but at times it was almost more like a fine print clause that I would remember in certain moments to keep me sane. Other times, I embraced mystery entirely, but again, it was still often rooted in the need to hold on to my belief in some way, even if that ‘belief’ was an entirely deconstructed openness to mystery.

But, when I finally fully let go of my lifelong belief, I discovered something interesting. God was not ‘something' that I had to hold onto. God was not this other ‘thing' that could be analyzed, dissected, and believed in or not believed in. In the absence of belief, I was surprised to find that my heart still had the same strong desires for good; for beauty; for love.  Over the course of the subsequent months, I began to bask once again in the reality that my very being is grounded in Mystery, Goodness, and yes, Love. This faith was not exactly the same as the faith that was deconstructed, but it was faith nonetheless.  Faith in a way that is beyond me holding onto. A perspective that seems less like the objective observer wondering whether or not I should get in the river (which might be imaginary), and more like a molecule of water within the river itself.

This was the experience that I needed to have before I was able to finish writing Vapor.  It was the first song to that which we would call God that I was able to write after my final chapter of deconstruction. It is the beginning of a reconstruction that sees myself within this infinite mystery, beauty, and love that words like “Divine”, “Holy”, and “God” conjure up. And though I no longer fear losing my ‘belief’ like I used to, I have once again embraced mystery and much of the language that I inherited (God, Jesus, faith…etc), but this time with hands that are genuinely and entirely open and unafraid. And I find that in that abandon, the language of my childhood comes rushing back. 'Trees clap their hands for you. Oceans they dance for you. You are holy.' And in the metaphor and language and mystery, I somehow find myself alive. I find God alive. The lines of reality are all blurred, and I am once again, simply home.

Thank you Michael and Lisa for paving the way for so many others. If it wasn't for you, I would still be lost at sea. Thank you for the work you do with your art. It is thoughtful. 

Work Tapes by The Choir at Your Door

Recommended if you enjoy Copeland, Sigur Ros, rainy days and/or listening to music while enjoying some hot tea. Listen to Work Tapes on  Music here and on Spotify here.

Not Art by Big Scary

Recommended if you enjoy Volcano Choir, Son Lux, Vancouver Sleep Clinic and/or good vibes. Listen to Not Art on  Music here and on Spotify here.

Civilian by Wye Oak

Recommended if you enjoy Kye Kye, Delta Spirit, blended male and female vocals, shifting tempos and/or crunchy guitars. Listen to Civilian on  Music here and on Spotify here.

The Life of Pablo by Kanye West

Recommended if you enjoy Kanye West, sincerity, creativity and/or loaded metaphors describing the state of humanity. Listen to The Life of Pablo here.

Sospiri by The Winston Jazz Routine

Recommended if you enjoy Wild Sweet Orange and/or Sufjan Stevens. Listen to Sospiri on  Music here and on Spotify here.

One Wild Life: Spirit by Gungor

Recommended if you enjoy 80′s music, female power vocals, songs about faith and/or music with substance. You can preorder One Wild Life: Spirit (it releases to the public on 3/24) here.

Matter of Time by Kevin Devine

Recommended if you enjoy Bad Books, Manchester Orchestra, harmonious guitars, angsty vocals and/or good storytelling. Listen to Matter of Time on  Music here and on Spotify here.

In Roses by Gem Club

Recommended if you enjoy Bon Iver, introspective music, strings and/or space for thinking. Listen to In Roses on  Music here and on Spotify here.