the lavender life

I am not sure why, exactly. The best I can say is that life somehow, true to it’s annoying habit, got in the way. 

My job kept me incredibly busy. Not always in a good way, either. As I rounded out my first full year in this new speciality... I am still restless. My work is weirdly humbling and fulfilling, while at the same time makes me want to run away and never return.

We’ve been having lots of conversations about life and happiness lately, he and I. So much is yet to come, and I don’t think I want to be in this job for the rest of my life. I worked so fucking hard for that degree and certification. I lost sleep, lost my appetite, ignored a lot of friends, but straight-up nailed my board exam. I was “successful.” But to what end? To have my job drive me to tears? 

I don’t know. Maybe I’m at the edge of a quarter-life crisis. Maybe I’m being a stereotypical millennial. Maybe I should update my resume. Maybe it’s just my uninspiring location. Maybe it’s the stress of this particular position, and not the job title itself.