Manic Pixie Dream Goblin

my cat is completely obsessed with watching the bathroom sink drain and I have started calling this "her shows." as in when I'm in the bathroom and she meows and runs up I'll be like "oh you want to watch your shows?" and run the faucet for an extra few seconds so it fills a little. she will then sit there at the edge of the sink for ages totally entraptured by the drain. blorbo from her sink

that's a cat ✅️

(defense) attorney culture is like the opposite of cop culture. lawyers hate all other lawyers with a barely concealed passion, yes, even their partners at the law firm. no solidarity, 85% drama and 15% social niceties. they’ll hang out together socially on occasion but they hate each other to their core. they’re like betta fish.

Aaron Burr & Alexander Hamilton were defense co-counsel on a murder trial 4 years before the duel.

Is the guy in the cuck chair supposed to stay quiet or is he allowed to clap and cheer

he's supposed to take notes and make an intrigued hum when an interesting plot point occurs

one is getting cucked by the bottom and the other is getting cucjed by the top. Subject matter experts discussing the sex like a sports panel

One cuck always lies, the other always tells the truth. You have one question to determine who’s a top and who’s a bottom.

Who told you that

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

GIRLS IN MY PHONE. WE CAN DO IT

It’s 7:30am and I have yet to sleep. Please explain this, scientists. Why did I never get tired? It just never happened.

why must the guard dog characters unquestioning devotion to their master be born from trust or some shit cant they be manipulated into it. raised into it. brainwashed even

Pro-censorship wattpad refugees drama is so funny to me because when I started using ao3 as a kid I was a devout mormon and I thought that reading anything even remotely pornagraphic was a sin and would ruin my life. So when I was 13 and found ao3 I went "oh awesome I found a fanfic website with a filtering system so I won't ever randomly stumble into porn. This is great! I was really worried about seeing something I didn't want to see on the other platforms." I didn't read any smut online until like three years later. If a mormon 13 year old can figure out 'don't like don't read' wattpad users can too cmon you guys i believe in you.

Tumblr did not “Goncharov” Poob. Poob is Glupp Shittoing Tubi/Pluto/Roku Channel/Hulu/etc.

none of these words are in the bible. or the dictionary, for that matter.

#While this is a joke#For the etymologists out there#Tumblr did not “goncharov” poob#translation: Tumblr is not making a fictitious thing called poob that we insist is real#Poob is glup shittoing (streaming services)#Translation: Poob is now a generic name for whatever streaming platform is out there when you don't feel like naming something specifically

I read this aloud to my roommate and he thought I was having a stroke