Polly Tucker

this happens way more frequently than you think, i assure you

Well if you frickers stopped literally presenting soap as deli food maybe it wouldnt happen?

who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese

who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese

I got (what I thought was) a block of wood at Xmas, figured it was a paperweight so put it in my living room on the dining table, last week someone asked me why I had soap on the dining table! 

Omfg yes

Trust me the second part sometimes never comes! I’m single so only get given one gift from my family, but I have to get all three couples (parents, siblings/in-laws siblings) plus their four kids! So I buy 10 gifts for them, they each buy 1 gift for me so I get 3 back! 

Love getting some Mox mixed in with my Ambrose...

You know he got paid to show up, smolder and then leave. What a time to be alive!

He has such a big boss man vibe in this clip. There, I said it. 

the oldest millennials are 35. We’re also eligible for the Senate and the White House too. 

“given my understanding of linear time” 

It is totally do-able y’know, lots of 40+ olds then in 10 years get a bunch of 30 year olds! Just skip anyone whose between what 20 & 35 right now?