« Humans are a narrative species. Narrative gives human life a dimension of meaning that is utterly unknown to animals. »
Huston, in. The Tale-Tellers : A Short Story of Humankind
I recently learned a valuable lesson thanks to @blackthorn-and-iron, that echoes what @ofwoodandbone recently blogged about : « Take pride in your beginnings and your journey. Write it out. Speak it like people speak about the witches from the 60′s. Speak about it like your own personal lore, like the witches from the Early Modern Period. Know thyself and be true. »
Turns out, my journey started way before when I first thought. Who is born a witch, and who had to claw the title out of the ashes ?
« Speak about it like your own personal lore. » : that is a (writing) prompt that is sure to please @barberwitch and his call for creating your own folklore. So here goes…
« A moi. L’histoire d’une de mes folies. »
Rimbaud, “Alchimie du Verbe”, in. Une Saison en Enfer
Warning : true omens from a true seer (she will know who she is) will make for an intimate confession, such as I never talked to anybody before.
« On dit que je suis né.e, le jour le plus froid du monde. On dit que je suis né.e, avec le coeur gelé. »
Malzieu, in. La Mécanique du Coeur
The Seer shakes her head. She is an Old Crone, she has seen many students. She speaks broodingly :
“- People these days think magic is something that comes when you read it in a book and decide to put it on like trying a new outfit.”
The youngest says nothing back. She waits. She knows when to stay silent.
“- Folklore tells us something different; it speaks of the witch-blood, the witch-fire, the signs that a child is a changeling, or a cambion… or a witch.”
When the Seer is in a trance, she is a Pythic beauty. Black tears stream down her cheeks, and her voice is like embers and resin smoke - hers, and not hers. She tells her Oracle :
« - The night is cold, but the cold feels more alive than spring. Seven roses break apart in the silver-glinting stream. Dappled moths flit about, drawn to a lantern’s light; it illuminates a woman with hair of fire and skin of snow. She plunges into the stream, and her skin slips away. She falls, deeper, deeper, deeper, but she drowns not.
There’s a moth, always moths for some reason, once perfect white, now stained.
There are feet that ache to go Home but don’t know where it is.
How many worlds are you part of, my dear? I’m sure you know, somewhere, though you won’t admit.
– it’s a silly story, really. The changeling tale, as it’s called, though that used to mean something different. A princess and a pauper; but which are you?
–the price is loss but it’s a price worth paying.
– why are you afraid of going home ?
(Hm. No. I shan’t say that last one, that one’s mine.)
Always drawn to the flame, you, but too scared to ever touch it. But the fire’s in your belly, and you can’t bear to let it flicker. You taste like ash and something lost.
Dear gods my head, and my heart. Whose ache is that, anyway? »
The youngest witch shivers. Don’t ask if you don’t want to hear the answer. Heavy is the weight of the Oracle, of your very own Prophecy. Some words are like fully ripened fruits, about to fall from the branch. They rot in the heart, and consume the soul.
Ask anybody to talk about their origins, and what you will obtain will not be the truth.
And nothing is more truthful than a story.
The winter she was born into stayed in her blood and in her eyes.
She has cold hands - that much is true. Not anemia-cold - albeit that would be bad enough - but the coldness of the Underworld, the coldness of the ones that were once touched by death. The coldness of a Veil once lifted. Absolute cold blood, and a body that can’t produce its own heat unless it borrows it from another.
For something stole her breath in the cradle.
The father - he woke up, and found her tiny body suffocating, choking over the darkness of the room.
The baby skin turned grey, the baby skin was blue.
She was a strange baby anyway - so fair she looked unnatural. Pure milky-snow, colors all washed away by the frosty winter weather - including her hair, white with a silver glimmer. Even in the high mountains where her family lived, this was uncommon.
Pale all around… apart from a dark mole on her face - a drop of ink about her chin, like a cambion’s signature. Her shame. She would later exchanged it for a scar - a more bearable mark, or so she thought. She would regret.
The night before she was born, her mother dreamt she was giving birth to a very long, very thin cat. People were laughing at her, pointing their fingers at this strange progeny, half-scared (for how could a woman give birth to a beast ?) - but yet the mother loved the baby, yet the mother stood for her.
She was three weeks early. She came to this world at twilight, when the sickle moon rose in the deep winter sky. No full moon, no new moon - nothing so ominous - just a sickle, cutting through the dark mantle of the night. Growing up, she would cry for the moon if she was not visible, and let her window open for fairy lovers to come through.
When she went to school for the first time, every children just ostracized her like she were a wounded animal. As if she were too bizarre, to take part of their games. True, she was silent, way too quiet, and never playing - it worried her parents so, that such young a child should not play. The isolation. The silence.
And her eyes were so bad she needed glasses aged only eighteenth months, and still does today. But her head and heart understanding complex concepts from the adult world, concepts that should have been way beyond her grasp.
Her favorite bedtime story was a tale called The Little Girl With Blue Hair. In this tale, the little girl has blue hair and starts to notice a fragment of sky, a piece of the sea, a glimmer from the moon, in it. The little girl then goes to a journey, to give everything back to everybody.
“- I just don’t expect my life to make any sense. And I’m trying to stay away from self-fulfilling prophecy. As tempting as it is, having confirmation I may be « Other » is both comforting and utterly distressing. What is my nature, anyway ?
- You’d be… a red poppy, or a weeping willow, or an apple tree, or a silk-moth, or a lynx, or a dahlia, or a little python, I think. But none of those are affixed yet…or a red orchid… or a jamaica flower… « Red flower » is definitely a theme here.”
In her eyes - of the rarest shade - this ice-cold blue - snowflakes falling gently, but the Fluence growing strong. A threatening power.
« - I always wonder if the signs were already there, or if I interpret what once was so that it matches my narrative now that I identify as a witch. The gifts running in my family. My grandmother teaching me divination. My white hair, my near death experience in an age I can’t even remember. And the fact I knew very early about witchcraft and tried to learn. It might mean everything; as much as nothing. Is it for me to decide what matters ? »
For she came to witchcraft, at last - or rather, Witchcraft came to her. He found her - the Devil, the Man in Black, the Witch Father. He waited till she came to the Isles, and he caught her, in his tender-loving claws.
One night in January, she was lying in her bed, thinking about it all, longing for it, heart thumbing. She was listening to the wind hurling outside.
Suddenly she felt an urge, a call to go outside (she was all naked, mind). Sub auspices Lunae, she could see herself opening the door, and going out into this tempest they had.
The wind was messing with her hair and whipped her skin, strong and powerful. And the grass was cold and wet under her bare feet. She walked, in the middle of the field, and ended up meeting a tall, black figure with a horned-skull head, towering on a throne.
“- What were you expecting ?"
Then he stood, opened his arms (he had very long fingers), and as he clasped them around her naked body she woke up.
On the night of the Blue Blood Moon, she went to the threshold near the river when the sun was about to set. She brought some mulled wine she made and a honey bread she baked during the day.
She found the perfect spot under a hawthorn tree, eaten by ivy. Nervous but determined, she called for Him, the Witch Father, as a feral child, and performed the Red Meal. She drank the blood, she ate the bone, and share it with the land spirits. It was a sacrifice of her flesh, but she had no idea - yet.
She saw a shadow silhouette across the river bank, swiftly passing by. She abjured her baptism, done to her in her infancy, and renounced any preceding allegiances - she cut the link that still tied her to grandmother…’s faith.
She anointed her forehead with the mixture. She poured the wine and the bread onto the ground and to the river. Then in exchange for a hairlock and a drop of blood she was gifted four hawthorn thorns - not one more : she knew it when the wind blew her black candle as she was reaching for the fifth. She tried anyway, and was told to give it back.
Geese shrieked above her head.
The ritual was complete when the wild moon rose on the horizon, bleeding and mad.
The rest of the story is a secret the Toad only will tell.
“- Pouring yourself into that is a path to a power that’s as cold and pure and clean as a snowstorm, black as a moonless night and deep as the ocean. Harness wings of ice and death, consume yourself, and be reborn a queen.”