I'd rather just color.

I’m currently in that awkward part of my entrepreneurial adventure, where things have started, and most of the initial stuff is set, and I worked really really hard for over a year and now I have a teeny tiny bit to show for it platform wise. But each and every time I log into any of the soon to be ‘income generating’ accounts, I’m deflated by the results.

The effort I’m putting in, is just not paying out the way it would seem it should.

So how do you stay on track and determined when this happens? How do you be your own eternal sunshine, holding out hope that you just need to keep working exhaustively and everything will turn out right for you? Well, you just do….

You do, because you know the climb is steep, or you should. You do because you were aware before you started that it was going to take 7-10, or you should be. You do because this is your dream, and there have already been so many doubters, and speed bumps , and long nights. You do because you know deep down in the pit of your being, that the reason you started on the path was because everything in the universe was screaming at you to do it, screaming that this was exactly what you needed to do, screaming that your success and glory were within your reach and it was only up to you to grab.

Nope! Consumerism is at an all time high and isn't expected to be on the decline anytime soon. The amount of goods Amazon moves is astounding. Remember, while the vast majority is sold to the US, because we just cant get enough apparently, they sell a huge amount internationally.

I was looking through Helium, which is a popular product reference tool that i like the best just due to the user friendly nature of it. (Link below for a free trial, which I recommend, and using my link is a fantastic way to help me keep passing on knowledge to the world) While using Helium, I found a person who was just selling a desk fan, and making over $15,000 per month! Yeah there are over head expenses but it's safe to say he'd take home around 33% of that, and with that just being one product (I'm sure they list others) I'd say he's doing alright. Most interesting thing about that particular product, there was no competition. He was the only option for that particular fan. If someone came in with a similar fan, undercut him by $1, and just waited, you could easily pull $14,000 in a month. Though that'd be really mean and it's better to make friends in this business than it is to just go around terrorizing other hardworking people, but still.

Yes.  That’s the bare bones simple answer.  Its the best way to freely advertise your brand. Which by the way, if you haven’t established what you are about and gotten a firm hold on what your brand is, both in name and function, stop what you’re doing and get it figured out.  The brand is the only way to build the following and the following is the only way to make any real money online.  Sure you can sell one or two of whatever it is you have a passion for, but unless you are pulling in people by the hundreds to thousands, you’ll never be able to sit financially comfortable in this field.  

Don’t be intimidated by creating a YouTube channel.  I know the thought of being on camera is terrifying for some people, myself included initially. But come up with a strategy that works for you.  Some people prefer to do voice over videos with a soothing stock video playing while they do.  Some people even see success using robo-voice assistants. Doesn’t matter.  I just very strongly recommend you create a channel that is inline with your brand, and make an initial plan to create 20 videos in 30 days.  They won’t be great, and you won’t get a lot of views most likely.  But you will get the experience and the comfort of being in front of a camera.  It’s not so bad once you get used to it.  For myself, I decided that i would never edit a video and I would just shoot the whole clip in one go.  This has been working for me, because I don’t have to over analyze the video, and full honesty, I sometimes don’t watch it until after it uploaded so I don’t lose my nerve.  I can already tell that I want to start editing, but that’s a new urge.  Only developed after I felt like I had a good feel for just the basics of even uploading a video.  Which I assure you took more time than I thought it would.

Probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done only because there is ZERO reward and requires constantly determination.

Let me give you a little background. I may also just be having a manic episode and the kind man just doesn’t know how to break my heart. Though I doubt it.

My ex boyfriend and I are meant to be. It’s just a fact that I see clearly and he doesn’t. We used to have a painfully toxic break up/makeup cycle that fit into all the. YouTube videos of a narcissistically led relationship. Lucky for me I was able to recognize it wasn’t just him who was leading the narcissism train and work to fix my share of our flaws. And I don’t know exactly what clicked for me. I honestly believe it’s because I’m following my heart exclusively these days, but I have never been more confident in him and is than I am right now. I feel like I woke up from a dream where I saw our whole lives together and apart and it went so much better when we were together. And thats what I want and need. And I’m pretty smart so I’d say it’s what he wants and needs to. He’s recently home from a 10 month extended leave due to being in prison and the readapting to home has taken its tole on him is why he’s needing space right now.

Once I realized that he was my forever, and this has been the only way I’ve been able to keep showing him love while he pushes me away, I doubled down. I told him I was commuting to him. To give him that security in us while he was healing. I would show up, (still do) at his house with presents or breakfast or a load of really just groceries because I know he’s feeling low and will isolate and not take the best care of himself.

Now this isn’t to say obsessively love someone who’s pushing you away like a crazy person. No this is for those times that you want each other but one needs a breather. But you’ve been with them and you’ve been with others, and they are the only place that feels like home. Loving someone like a maniac is exclusively for those times, I’d say…. Because it’s hard. It’s hard for me to pour out love to him and him say he wants me to leave verbally, but see the hurt and love in his eyes at it.

So what makes me keep going? Me. I’m letting him work on himself while I work on me. I selfishly do whatever I want and need to get my brain to stay happy so that I can grow at the person I need to while he’s home doing the same. I stay busy with other friends. I create or am completing tasks and projects that enhance my life and my business. I take time to do things just because it’ll make me smile, like paint my hallway for no reason outside of it just looking 2% better to me and it lifts the corners on my mouth a little when I see it. I spoil myself. Just a little. With an at home spa day or a splurge like my favorite menthol eucalyptus bath salts. By taking care of me, I dont feel neglected.

And I do acknowledge this is a sort of rare situation, but if you at all in your heart know that you’ve found your person, and it’s the only place that feels like home, then I hope and pray for you , that you are able to stay the course and fight for the love you want and deserve. Be kind to them, even if they push you harder away. Try to remember you love them and love is patient, love is kind, it’s not self seeking, and love never fails. I very firmly believe that God’s plan is a magical and complex thing, that you can feel in your heart when you’re in doubt. I know this because my head gets cloudy, it gets unfocused, it overthinks everything. But my heart always knows where I’m happiest, instantly. Always knows where my potential to be a better human originates. Always reminds me of why, even if it takes him 10 years to see what I see, I’ve got the strength to wait for him.

So last April, I lost my job. Giddily, my District manager came in to inform me that the branch I managed would be closed at the end of April and we would be given a severance and an option to reapply. Due exclusively to the fact that he never really liked me and I could tell, and I have extreme abandonment issues that were all kinds of triggered by this event, I chose to not reapply. Retire early I said...

Well, too young, and way too irresponsible for that unfortunately. But I quickly discovered that no one cared that I sat home all day, playing on Amazon. And when I started an OnlyFans, despite my initial worry that I was going to be completely shunned by everyone in town, no one really cared. That was when the slow realization that the super cheesy line they tell you as a kid, about being whatever you wanted to be and doing whatever the hell you wanted to do, was actually true. Like really true.

Its not that I thought it was a lie, I was just more grounded than that. I knew I needed to get a job and work and pay the bills and follow the rules. But my boyfriend didn't. He floated around, even couch surfed for a summer. He always got lucky when he gambled winning jackpot after jackpot. He rarely worried about what he was going to be doing next, and I don't think ever even thought about retirement or a 401k. He did construction work, and jobs just seemed to fall out of the sky for him.

He's a bit more extreme than me because I still wanted to have the comfort of air conditioning and the latest iPhone. But being around his mindset taught me something. I can literally do whatever I wanted to and no one would care or try to stop me, as long as I didn't mess up anyone else's game. Did I have to get a traditional job? No, no one would care if I had a 9-5 that I was late to twice a week. There are no responsibility police that keep you in line. There's just doing what you want and finding creative ways to convince other people to give you their money. And this was a deliciously freeing revelation for me. I was the good kid. I did what was expected of me always. I never called in sick. I did what I was told. Toed the line if you will. So now that I had no job, no responsibility, no kids and minimal bills, I was going to shoot for the moon and try to hit new and more intense goals than I had ever thought possible for someone in my social and economic class.