mina's fic recs

You follow her gaze without thinking.

He stands near the counter, scrolling through a chart on an iPad, stethoscope hanging loose around his neck like he forgot it was there. Curly salt and pepper hair slightly messy, the kind of tired that comes from too many night shifts in a row.

He looks up when someone calls his name, and the moment your eyes land on him, your wrist burns.

You suck in a small breath, instinctively looking down. There’s a red string looped around your wrist, thin, bright, and impossible to miss.

Your stomach drops so fast it makes you dizzy. Because what the actual fuck? No. Not here. Not now.

At some point, you’d convinced yourself maybe you simply didn’t have one. Maybe the universe skipped you.

The thread pulls slightly, like something on the other end just moved, and your fingers curl around it before you even realize what you’re doing. A voice in your head tells you not to look… but you look anyway. The string stretches across the room, weaving through people and stretchers and equipment like it doesn’t care about physics; it never has.

Your breath gets stuck in your throat as you follow it as it leads straight to him—Jack Abbot.

Your heart stutters hard enough that you feel it in your ears.

No.

No, no, no.

Lena is still talking beside you, something about assignments, but the words blur together. “…good with procedures, just don’t let him skip charting, he tries— Abbot!”

He looks up again, this time, at you. The string pulls tight between your wrists. For a second, neither of you moves. Then he walks over, casual, pumping sanitizer on his hands like this is just another shift, just another new nurse, nothing important happening at all.

He’s taller up close.

Tired-looking in a way that somehow makes him seem softer instead of intimidating. Curly salt-and-pepper hair slightly messy, sleeves rolled to his elbows, stethoscope hanging around his neck like he forgot it was there hours ago.

“You the new one?” he asks. His voice is warm and easy. Maybe a little rough around the edges from too much coffee and too many overnight shifts.

You force your brain to function.

“Yeah,” you manage. “First night.”

He nods once, then holds out his hand.

“Jack Abbot.”

Your hand hesitates for half a second before you take it. The second your skin touches his—the string snaps tight. It feels like something deep in your bones clicks violently into place.

Your pulse jumps hard beneath your skin, and for one horrifying second you think maybe he can feel it too.

But Jack just smiles politely, completely unaffected.

Because he can’t see it, not fully. The thread only loops faintly around his wrist before disappearing, incomplete and one-sided.

You swallow hard, “Nice to meet you.”

“Welcome to the Pitt,” he says. “Try not to run.” You let out a shaky laugh before you can stop yourself, “Too late for that.”

A faint smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth, like he likes your answer. By God, that tiny expression alone nearly kills you.

Then he shifts the iPad under his arm—and you see the ring. 

A silver band on his left hand.

Your entire body goes cold.

For a second, you genuinely can’t process what you’re looking at. Of course, he’s married. Because, yes, the universe would do something this cruel.

You force yourself to look away before your face gives you away—and that’s when you notice her.

A woman stands near Central holding a paper bag against her hip, looking around the department with the comfortable familiarity of someone who’s been here a hundred times before.

Waiting for him.

Jack notices her immediately, and his whole face changes. It softens enough for you to understand instantly how much he loves her. “Hey,” he says quietly, already walking toward her.

The incomplete thread around his wrist brightens faintly.

She smiles the second he reaches her, “You forgot dinner again.” Jack laughs softly, taking the bag from her, “I was busy.”

“You’re always busy.”

“Occupational hazard.”

She rolls her eyes affectionately, and he leans down automatically to kiss her cheek. It’s absent-minded and natural. The kind of intimacy built over years. Loving her is as easy as breathing. Suddenly, the red string around your own wrist feels unbearably tight. Because the universe already chose—it’s not you. Never you.

Lena nudges your shoulder lightly, “You good?”

You blink quickly, forcing your expression back under control before anyone notices the way your soul feels like it’s collapsing inward. “Yeah,” you say, your voice almost sounds steady. “Just jet lag.”

Lena nods distractedly and turns back toward the board.

Across the room, Jack says something under his breath that makes his wife laugh. The warm and happy sound carries across the department.

You look down at the string around your wrist one last time before pulling your sleeve over it completely.

You can do this—you’ve survived harder things than heartbreak.

You square your shoulders, take the iPad Lena hands you, and step fully into the chaos of the Pitt.

So when Jack glances back at you a moment later, smiling like you’re just another coworker starting a shift, you smile back, pretending that your heart didn’t just fall through the floor.

A FEW MONTHS LATER…

PTMC, EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT — NIGHT SHIFT

By the time the Pitt starts feeling familiar, it’s already too late. You know the rhythm of the department now, the same way you know your own breathing. Which monitor is about to alarm before it starts screaming. Which psych patient is one bad interaction away from throwing a urinal at security, or a resident is about to panic during a difficult intubation.

You know the trauma bay doors stick when it rains, and Lena hides the good coffee above the Pyxis because Ellis steals the decent stuff first, and the fluorescent lights over Hallway C flicker around three in the morning like they’re barely holding on, and you know Jack Abbot’s footsteps before you even see him.

Well, to be honest, that part happens slowly. Shift after shift. Trauma after trauma. Somewhere between your first week and your third month, working beside him stops feeling intimidating and starts feeling natural.

You know how he likes his trauma setups organized. You know he taps his pen twice against the desk when he’s thinking too hard. You know he rubs the back of his neck when he’s exhausted and trying not to show it. And worse—he knows you too.

“Lifeline!” Ellis’ voice cuts across the department as you walk out of Trauma Two carrying an empty suture tray. You stop mid-step. “You people are never letting that nickname die, are you?”

Ellis swivels around in her chair with a grin. “Absolutely not.”

The nickname started during your second week after a pediatric code that had gone catastrophically wrong.

A seven-year-old nearly drowned—no pulse on arrival. The room had dissolved into controlled chaos within seconds—respiratory trying to secure the airway while one of the newer residents nearly froze trying to place an IO line.

Shen, still early enough into residency that panic sometimes beat experience, had looked one second away from completely spiraling.

But through all of it, you had stayed calm.

You’d guided Shen through the tibial IO placement while simultaneously pushing epinephrine prep toward Jack and coordinating compression rotations so nobody burned out too early.

At one point, Ellis had looked up from the monitor and muttered, “Jesus Christ. She’s everybody’s lifeline in here.”

Unfortunately for you, the name stuck. Now, half the ED used it more than your actual name.

“Lifeline, Trauma Two,” Lena calls without looking up from the board.

“On my way.”

Jack steps out of the trauma bay at the same time you do, peeling bloody gloves off his hands. “You steal my nurse again?” he asks Lena.

Lena snorts. “You don’t own her, Abbot.”

“That’s not what I said.”

There’s something easy in the exchange that makes warmth spread unexpectedly through you.

Jack falls into step beside you automatically as you head toward Trauma Two.

“You eat yet?” he asks.

You glance at him suspiciously. “Are you asking because you care or because you need me conscious enough to survive this shift?”

“A little of both.”

You huff out a laugh. Because that’s the problem with Jack. He’s kind in ways that sneak up on you, a quiet attentiveness that drives you nuts. He notices when you haven’t sat down in seven hours or when your hands shake after a bad pediatric trauma and when you’re pushing yourself too hard, and casually hands you a granola bar like he didn’t specifically go looking for one because he knew you skipped dinner.

The kind of doctor who stays with family members after delivering bad news instead of disappearing the second the conversation gets uncomfortable, and the kind of man who wears his wedding ring like it means something sacred.

Which somehow makes all of this hurt even more. Because every soft look. Every quiet joke at three in the morning or moment beside him in a trauma bay—belongs to someone else.

And you know that.

The universe reminds you every single day that the red string hidden beneath the cuff of your scrub jacket pulls tight whenever he gets too close.

You’ve gotten good at ignoring it or pretending to.

TRAUMA ONE — NIGHT

Tonight’s MVA is a disaster. Twenty-six-year-old male. Ejected through the windshield. Hypotensive on arrival. The second EMS wheels him through the ambulance bay doors, and the department shifts gears instantly.

“BP seventy over forty,” Ellis says from the monitor. “Heart rate one-forty.”

“Breath sounds diminished on the left,” Shen adds quickly, trying to keep up.

“Alright, let’s move,” Jack says sharply.

You’re already there.

Trauma shears cut through blood-soaked clothing while respiratory preps for intubation. You place oxygen and start hanging fluids while Jack performs the FAST exam. Free fluid in Morrison’s pouch appears on the screen almost immediately. Internal bleeding, most likely splenic rupture.

“Call OR,” Jack says. “He’s going upstairs.”

“Already on it,” you answer, grabbing the phone before he even finishes speaking. Jack glances toward you over the patient. There’s blood smeared across the sleeve of his scrub top, exhaustion pulled deep into the lines around his eyes. Yet still—that small flicker of trust when he looks at you. He knows you’ll catch whatever he misses.

You hate how much that matters to you.

CENTRAL WORK AREA — NIGHT

By four in the morning, the Pitt settles into its strange version of quiet. You’re charting near Central when the elevator doors open.

Jack’s wife walks out carrying six pizza boxes stacked in her arms.

The entire department visibly brightens.

“Oh thank God,” Ellis says dramatically. “An angel sent from heaven.”

“You people are unbelievable,” she laughs.

Ellis immediately takes two boxes from her. “Respectfully, I would die for you.”

“That’s deeply concerning,” Lena mutters.

“You’re just jealous she likes me more.”

“I absolutely am not.”

You can’t help laughing softly under your breath. There it is again— that awful ache in your heart. Because she’s truly, genuinely wonderful. The universe could’ve at least made her cold, cruel, or difficult.

Instead, she remembers everyone’s coffee orders and asks about your family back home, and brings food for the night shift because she knows none of you remember to eat unless somebody forces you.

“You must be Lifeline.”

You blink, startled when you realize she’s suddenly standing beside you.

Up close, her smile is warm and effortless. You force yourself to smile back. “That obvious, huh?”

“Oh, very,” she says easily. “Jack talks about you all the time.”

Your heart stumbles painfully against your ribs.

Before you can recover, she continues casually, “Apparently, you’re the only reason this department functions after midnight.”

You laugh weakly. “That gives me way too much credit. Obviously, Lena holds everything down.”

“Have you met these people?” she asks quietly, glancing around Central. “I’m pretty sure Shen would eat expired yogurt if left unsupervised.”

“That happened one time,” Shen shouts.

“You were hallucinating by hour two,” Ellis replies.

You laugh again before you can stop yourself, and somehow, talking to her is easy. Isn’t that cruel? Because you like her immediately, she asks about the Philippines, about your family, and how you plan on surviving Pittsburgh winters.

You’re halfway through explaining that black ice feels like a personal attack when Jack walks out of Trauma Two. He tosses his gloves into the biohazard bin before sanitizing his hands automatically. His curls are damp with sweat at the temples now, scrub top wrinkled from the shift.

Then he looks up to find the two of you talking and smiles—soft around the edges in a way that makes your eyes water.

“Well,” his wife says immediately, “there he is.”

Jack points toward the pizza boxes. “You bribing my staff again?”

“Your staff?” Lena repeats flatly from across the desk.

Jack ignores her completely.

His wife gestures toward you. “Lifeline and I decided you’re actually the problem in this department.” You blink. “We did?”

“We did now.”

Jack looks genuinely betrayed, “That was fast.”

“She’s nice,” his wife says simply. Jack’s eyes flick toward you for half a second, warm and amused. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “She is.”

Your pulse skips hard enough you nearly miss it. Coward, coward, coward.

You look away first while his wife grins triumphantly. “See? I win.”

“You gang up on me constantly.”

“Because you’re easy to bully,” you say before thinking.

Jack stares at you in mock offense. “Wow. Okay.”

“You walked into that one,” Ellis says.

“You’re all terrible people.”

His wife reaches up automatically to straighten the collar of his scrub shirt. Such a small gesture, absent-minded and intimate. The kind of touch that only exists between people who know each other completely.

Your wrist aches beneath your sleeve as the string pulls tighter. Still connected to him. So very impossible and still wrong. But somehow, standing there laughing with both of them at four in the morning, you realize something infinitely more dangerous than loving him.

You’re becoming part of their lives.

CENTRAL WORK AREA — LATER

The shift slows near dawn as you’re charting near Central when Jack drops into the chair beside you with a tired exhale.

“You ever think about leaving emergency medicine?” he asks suddenly. You glance sideways. “Every shift.”

“That’s healthy.”

“I think about becoming a florist at least twice a week.”

Jack huffs out a tired laugh. “You’d last six days.”

“Rude.”

“You yelled at a surgeon yesterday.”

“He was wrong.” You pointed out.

“He was technically right.”

“He was spiritually wrong.”

That earns a real laugh from him, the low and warm kind. God. You hold onto sounds like that more than you should. Silence settles comfortably between you afterward—the kind that only exists between people who know each other well. Then, almost absentmindedly, Jack asks, “Have you met your soulmate yet?”

Your fingers stop over the keyboard. For one horrible second, your entire body forgets how to function. But your face stays calm, because years in emergency medicine have made you terrifyingly good at composure. You keep typing as you reply, “Nope.”

Jack glances sideways at you. “At all?” You shrug lightly, forcing your voice steady. “Might just not be in the cards for me.”

Something softens in his expression immediately. Jack looks at people like he wants to understand them, not fix them. “I doubt that,” he says quietly. You stare at the chart on the screen because looking at him feels too dangerous. The red string hidden beneath your sleeve suddenly feels impossibly heavy.

“I mean it,” he continues softly. “Whoever ends up with you is gonna be lucky.”

Your throat tightens painfully as you force a laugh under your breath before the emotion can show on your face. “Smooth.”

“I’m serious.”

The worst part is—he means it. You finally risk looking at him. His eyes are tired and honest in that devastating way that makes lying to him feel terrible.

“I hope whoever you love…” he says quietly, almost like he’s thinking out loud, “loves you back just as much.”

The cruel irony nearly splits you open. Because you already know exactly what loving him feels like. It feels like swallowing it down every single day, pretending friendship is enough because it has to be, while standing three feet away from your soulmate, while he talks about his wife with soft eyes and absolute devotion.

Your eyes sting suddenly, and you blink hard before he notices. “Me too, Jack,” you whisper. You mean it so much it hurts.

“Me too.”

2020, COVID PANDEMIC

PTMC, EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT — NIGHT

The world changes fast. One week, people are joking about a virus overseas between trauma calls and coffee runs, and then the next week, the Pitt is overflowing.

Then, suddenly, every hallway smells like bleach and sanitizer, strong enough to burn your nose through the mask. Every shift feels like drowning—N95s cutting grooves into your skin, face shields fogging every time you breathe, and isolation gowns crackling every time you move.

The emergency department transforms into something unrecognizable almost overnight. There are no visitors or waiting rooms full of family. Alarms, intubations, oxygen sats dropping, and the sound of ventilators become part of the background noise of your life. Everyone starts looking exhausted, and then everyone starts looking haunted. You stop recognizing your coworkers without PPE. Even you stop recognizing yourself.

Through all of it, Jack keeps working.

You think maybe the entire world could collapse around him and he’d still show up for trauma shift fifteen minutes early with coffee in one hand and exhaustion carved into his face. Some nights, the two of you barely talk beyond patient updates. There isn’t time. Not anymore. Every room is full, and the waiting room looks like a war zone; people are dying faster than you can process. But even through the masks and face shields and layers of plastic, you still know him.

You know the crease between his brows when he’s worried and the exhaustion in his posture. The look in his eyes when a patient reminds him too much of somebody else.

To add to that, around the beginning of the pandemic, his wife dies. Not from COVID, which somehow makes it more merciless.

Pedestrian versus drunk driver—DOA. The call comes in just after midnight. You don’t know it’s her at first. Female in her late thirties. Severe head trauma. Massive internal injuries. CPR in progress.

The paramedics wheel her through the doors while respiratory rushes to clear Trauma One. For one horrible second, before you even see her face, the red string around Jack’s wrist burns.

You freeze, not because you understand yet. Because something deep inside you already does. 

Then Jack steps into the trauma room, and everything stops. You watch recognition hit him in real time, the way his body locks up and how color drains from his face beneath the mask.

“No,” he says immediately, as if he says it softly enough, maybe reality will change its mind.

“No.”

Lena moves first.

“Jack—”

“That’s my wife.”

The room goes dead silent. Even with monitors alarming and compressions ongoing, along with Shen asking for another round of epi.

It all disappears under the sound of Jack’s voice breaking.

You’ve seen grief before—you work in emergency medicine, so you see it every day. But nothing prepares you for the sound a person makes when their entire life shatters in front of them. Jack tries to step forward, but Lena catches him immediately. “Jack.”

“No, let me—”

“Jack.”

“She’s still warm—”

His voice cracks apart on the words. The paramedic quietly says they found no pulse on scene. Prolonged downtime. Non-survivable head trauma. You can’t breathe—nobody can.

Jack looks at his wife lying on the trauma bed like he genuinely cannot understand what he’s seeing; his brain refuses to process it. Blood in her hair and on the sheet, with her wedding ring still on her hand. Suddenly, the red string around your own wrist pulls painfully tight—before snapping loose.

Jack stares at his own wrist instinctively. The string tied there—gone. His face crumples. All that’s left is a man realizing the universe just took something from him that it can never give back.

COVID restrictions mean none of you are allowed at the funeral. No gathering or reception. No sitting beside him in church or placing a hand on his shoulder in comfort; bringing food to his house while relatives fill the rooms with noise and stories and grief.

Only Zoom.

Fucking Zoom.

You sit alone in your apartment at three in the afternoon after night shift, still in scrubs because you were too tired to change, laptop balanced on your kitchen table.

Everyone’s little squares flicker on-screen. Lena is crying silently, Ellis is muted, while Shen is trying and failing not to cry. Multiple other night shift staff are trying their best to pull themselves together—to be brave for Jack.

While Jack is sitting alone in a black button-down shirt in a house that suddenly looks too empty.

He looks hollow. That’s the only word for it. Hollowed out from the inside. You realize halfway through the service that he hasn’t stopped twisting his wedding ring around his finger once. Maybe he believes that if he keeps touching it, maybe she’s still here somehow.

You cry with your microphone muted.

Afterward, nobody knows what to say. There are no casseroles or hugs. No standing together in shared grief. Only little squares blink off one by one until Jack is the last person left in the call.

You stay after everyone disconnects. “You should sleep,” you say quietly. Jack lets out a humorless laugh, “Yeah.”

But he doesn’t move, and neither do you. Finally, he says, “I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”

There it is… the unbearable part, because she died instantly—no final words or closure. She was there one second—gone the next.

You press your lips together hard enough that they hurt as you faintly say, “I’m so sorry, Jack.”

He nods once because he’s heard it too many times already. Then his face folds inward suddenly, grief cracking through whatever fragile composure he’s been holding together. You’ve never seen him cry before, not really. Now he looks destroyed by it. 

“I keep thinking she’s gonna walk through the door,” he whispers. “I keep forgetting for like… five seconds.”

Your lungs ache so violently that it feels unbearable.

Because despite everything—despite the string and the guilt and all the ways you tried to keep your distance—you love him. And loving someone means you cannot stand there and watch them suffer alone.

Not him.

Never him.

So you stay.

At first casually, then constantly, you start checking on him between shifts. You bring coffee, he forgets to drink, and force him to eat crackers during overnight shifts because grief has hollowed him thin. You sit beside him in the break room when he can’t sleep between traumas.

Some nights he talks, and there are nights he doesn’t. Later on, you learn grief has moods. Some days he’s numb, and some days he’s angry. Or days, a patient wearing the same perfume as his wife nearly sends him spiraling mid-shift. Once, after losing a COVID patient around his wife’s age, Jack locks himself in the stairwell for twenty minutes.

You find him there eventually. Still in PPE with his face shield shoved onto the top of his head, breathing hard like he’s trying not to come apart.

You sit beside him without saying anything. For a long time, neither of you speaks. The stairwell is cold through your scrub pants, concrete hard beneath you. Somewhere beyond the heavy metal door, the hospital keeps moving. Monitors alarming. Phones ringing. Ventilators hissing.

Life continued like his world didn’t just end.

Jack sits one step below you, elbows braced against his knees, surgical cap shoved halfway off his head. His N95 hangs loose around his neck now, leaving angry red pressure marks across his skin. He appears worn out in a manner unrelated to sleep. The type of tiredness that becomes bone-deep.

For a while, all you hear is his controlled breathing, but then, you know, if he lets himself lose control for even a second, he’ll never stop. Then quietly, without looking at you, Jack says, “I don’t know who I am without her.”

You nearly shatter at his confession, because it’s proof he loved her so completely. You saw it every day in small, ordinary ways. In the way his face softened when she walked into the department carrying takeout, or the absent-minded way he leaned toward her without realizing it. In the wedding ring, he twisted whenever he talked about her during quieter shifts. He loved her with the kind of certainty people spend their whole lives searching for, and somehow that only makes you love him more.

You look down at your hands, clasped tightly in your lap.

“At work?” you say softly after a moment. “You’re still Jack.” A weak laugh escapes him, humorless and tired, “Very inspirational speech.”

“I’m serious.”

You glance toward him carefully. Even now, he’s still wearing blood on the sleeve of his isolation gown from the code downstairs. His curls are damp with sweat, exhaustion carved deep into the lines around his eyes.

"When everything hurts," you say carefully, "you don't have to figure out how to survive the next ten years."

Jack finally looks up, with his eyes bloodshot, red-rimmed, and devastatingly tired. "You just find the next thing." His brow furrows slightly as you keep going, "The next cup of coffee that tastes okay."

A faint huff of breath leaves him.

"The next shift." You offer a small smile. "The next stupid joke Shen makes that isn't actually funny."

That earns the ghost of an eye roll—you take it.

"The next hour. The next day." Your throat tightens, but you push through it, "And eventually..." Your voice softens. "Eventually you realize you've made it farther than you thought you could."

Jack stares at you, fully paying attention and listening.

"The pain doesn't disappear," you admit quietly. "Some losses stay with you forever. But one day you wake up, and it isn't the first thing you feel."

The stairwell falls silent again, and you watch as Jack's eyes close briefly as if the possibility of hope hurts. When he opens them again, there's something unbearably raw there—something stripped bare. "You really believe that?" The question comes out almost broken, and you don't hesitate as you reply, "Yes."

Because you have to, for him, for yourself, and for every patient you've ever watched claw their way through impossible things.

"Yes," you repeat softly. Jack studies your face for a long moment—searching for something there. Maybe hope or permission. Or proof that somebody still sees him underneath all the grief. Then he gives one small, fragile nod, because he's trying very hard to believe you, too.

A softer shared silence settles between you again afterward. You remain beside him on the stairwell steps while the hospital hums around you. Two exhausted healthcare workers in the middle of a pandemic. One grieving the loss of the love of his life. The other grieving quietly beside him. Then, after a long time, you speak again.

Your voice barely rises above a whisper, "I don't think there's such a thing as a good goodbye." Jack doesn't look away, but you stare at the concrete floor.

"People say it gets easier. That you find closure. That eventually you make peace with it." Your fingers tighten together. "But I think losing someone just becomes part of you. You learn how to carry it." Your throat burns, "There are days when you think you're okay. Days when you laugh and work and breathe normally." You glance toward him. "And then something happens. A song, a smell, maybe a memory.” Blinking back your tears, you revealed, "The grief finds you again."

Jack's eyes shine slightly as you continue softly, "Not because you failed to move on." Your voice wavers. "But because they mattered."

A long silence follows. Then, quietly—"So what am I supposed to do?" When he asks the question, it sounds incredibly trivial.

You look at Jack—at the man who spent years helping everyone else survive. He stayed with frightened soldiers, and loved his wife so completely that even death couldn't erase her from him.

"Keep loving her," you say softly, and Jack's breath catches. "Just don't let her be the reason you stop living, too."

The silence that follows feels sacred, somewhere beneath your sleeve, hidden from the world, the red string wrapped around your wrist aches. Not because it hurts, but because for the first time since she died, you realize you would carry his grief with him for as long as he needed.

Even if he never knew.

2021

YOUR APARTMENT — NIGHT

By late 2021, you recognize the symptoms almost immediately. The exhaustion first. Not normal exhaustion—the kind every ER nurse carries around like a second heartbeat—but something meaner. The sort that becomes deeply ingrained in your bones and wears you out just by standing straight.

Then the fever, then it’s the cough that follows soon after, and the body aches that feel like somebody took a hammer to every joint you have.

You take the rapid test in your bathroom with trembling hands, already knowing what the result will be before the second line even appears.

Positive.

You stare at it for a long moment anyway, “Fuck.”

You’d been vaccinated months ago. Healthcare workers got priority access early on, one of the very few benefits of spending every shift neck-deep in a pandemic. And thank God for that, because without it, you’re almost certain this would’ve landed you intubated in an ICU somewhere.

Still—it hits you hard.

Your immune system has never exactly been reliable. Too many years of stress, skipped meals, night shifts, and pushing yourself past exhaustion had seen to that long before COVID ever existed.

So you quarantine immediately with no qualms or arguments. Immediately, you text Lena and Dana to tell them that you’ve contracted COVID-19. Then you lock yourself inside your apartment and prepare to wait it out.

The loneliness settles in fast after that. The first day isn’t terrible, but the second day is worse. By the third day, you genuinely feel like you’re losing your mind. Your apartment suddenly feels too small and too quiet. Every surface smells faintly of disinfectant and cough drops. Empty Gatorade bottles and medication wrappers clutter your coffee table because you’re too exhausted to clean properly.

You sleep in fragments. Wake up drenched in sweat. Cough until your ribs ache. Then fall asleep again, only to wake up disoriented an hour later. You try texting your family back home once, but hearing your mother’s worried voice over FaceTime nearly makes you cry, so you stop answering calls after that.

You tell everyone you’re fine. You’re not.

One particularly bad night, you sit on the bathroom floor wrapped in a blanket because the cold tiles feel good against your feverish skin, genuinely debating at what oxygen saturation you’d finally call an ambulance.

Ninety-three? Ninety-two?

You know too much…that’s the problem. You’re aware exactly how quickly patients can crash, and what respiratory distress looks like. You know what COVID sounds like when it starts settling deeper into the lungs. And alone in your apartment at two in the morning, feverish and exhausted and struggling not to spiral, you think: If this gets worse, I’m gonna end up at Presby or PTMC.

By day five, your phone is full of unread texts. Lena is checking in, Shen is sending memes, and Ellis is threatening to physically fight you if you don’t hydrate. But then there’s Jack calling twice… then three times.

You don’t answer any of them. Not intentionally. Your brain feels too foggy to function most of the time. Looking at your phone takes effort you barely have energy for. So when there’s suddenly a knock at your apartment door that evening, you frown from beneath your blanket without moving.

Probably the wrong apartment.

Another knock. Then—your real name, muffled through the door in a voice you’d recognize half-asleep.

“Hey.”

Your stomach drops.

No.

Absolutely not.

You push yourself upright too quickly and immediately regret it when dizziness crashes over you. You stumble toward the door anyway, coughing into your elbow before peeking through the peephole.

And there he is.

Jack Abbot. Standing outside your apartment in full PPE. N95. Face shield. Gloves. Isolation gown. Holding a plastic takeout bag in one hand. You stare at him in complete disbelief before yanking yourself back from the door. “Jack?!”

“Oh, good,” his voice comes through the other side, dry with relief. “You’re alive.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” you hiss through the door. “How did you even find where I live?”

“Lena told me… and Dana.”

Traitors.

You lean your forehead briefly against the door, exhausted. “You can’t be here,” you argue weakly. “You could get sick.” Jack snorts softly from the hallway, “Lifeline, we work in an emergency department.”

“That is not comforting!”

“Also,” he continues, ignoring you completely, “is there a reason you’ve been ignoring my texts and calls?”

You close your eyes briefly. Honestly, you hadn’t even realized how many messages you missed.

“Jack—”

“Open the door.”

You blink as you screech, “Are you fucking insane? No.” His voice lowers slightly then, gentler but firmer somehow. “Lifeline.”

Somewhere behind your ribs, the moniker settles heated and perilous.

“Open the door.”

You stare at the wood for a long moment. Then, against every ounce of common sense you possess, you unlock it. The second the door cracks open, Jack’s eyes immediately scan over you clinically. You can practically see the ER doctor in him assessing your flushed skin, fatigue, and mild shortness of breath. The way you’re subtly bracing yourself against the wall to stay upright. In an instant, his face tightens.

"Oh," he murmurs. Somehow, that soft little sound embarrasses you more than if he’d outright said you looked terrible. You cross your arms defensively, “I look worse than I feel.”

“That’s concerning, because you look awful.”

You let out a tired laugh despite yourself, immediately coughing afterward. Jack’s eyes narrow behind the face shield, “How high’s the fever?”

“It’s fine.”

“Temperature.”

“One-oh-one earlier.”

“And oxygen?”

You hesitate half a second too long, and Jack notices immediately, “Lifeline.”

“Ninety-four. I’ve been checking my Apple Watch.”

His jaw tightens, “Okay.”

You step aside reluctantly. “There’s hand sanitizer and ethyl alcohol everywhere. I’ve been disinfecting the place whenever I can.”

Jack walks inside carefully, setting the takeout bag down near the kitchen counter. Your apartment suddenly feels unbearably small with him standing in it. Messy blankets on the couch. Medications scattered across the coffee table. Laundry you’ve been too sick to fold. You suddenly want the earth to swallow you whole. “Sorry,” you mutter. “It’s kind of a disaster.”

Jack glances around once before looking back at you. “I’ve seen residents cry over missing lab results. This is nothing.” That earns another weak laugh out of you while he pulls out one of the dining chairs and gestures toward it, “Sit down before you fall down.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“You almost passed out opening the door.”

Rude.

You sit anyway because standing suddenly feels impossible, and Jack immediately starts fussing. Taking your temperature again. Checking your pulse ox. Asking when you last ate.

In a manner that hurts your core, it's somehow intimate. After observing him in silence for a while, you gently inquire, "Why are you here?"

Jack pauses before he shrugs one shoulder like the answer should be obvious. “Because I know you.”

“You don’t have family here,” he continues quietly. “No roommates. No neighbors you’re close enough with to help if things go bad.” He leans back slightly in the chair across from you.

“You moved halfway across the world by yourself,” he says. “So yeah. I came to do a welfare check.” Something warm and painful twists in your chest all at once, so you try covering it with humor. “Am I that unlucky or just that special?”

Jack looks at you for a long moment. Then, softly, he replies, “Just that special.” The room goes very still while your pulse stutters painfully against your ribs. Jack clears his throat first, looking away. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”

He gives you a tired, unimpressed look immediately, “Don’t start with me.” You sigh, shoulders slumping. “I feel…” You swallow hard. “Honestly? Like I got hit by a truck.”

Jack nods once like he expected that answer. “My chest hurts when I cough,” you admit quietly. “And I’m exhausted all the time. Walking to the bathroom feels like running a 10k.”

Jack’s expression softens instantly to concern. “Okay,” he says gently. “That sounds about right for breakthrough COVID.”

You laugh weakly, “Reassuring.”

“You’re vaccinated. Your sats are holding. Fever sucks, but you’re stable.” His voice shifts into that calm doctor cadence you’ve heard him use with terrified patients a hundred times before.

“You’re gonna feel miserable for a little while,” he says softly. “But you’re not dying.”

The ridiculous thing is—you believe him immediately. Maybe because it’s Jack, he always sounds certain even when the world is falling apart. Or maybe because after spending almost a week alone in your apartment feeling terrified and sick and invisible—having somebody show up for you feels dangerously close to relief.

Somewhere beneath the fever and exhaustion and the red string hidden under your sleeve, you realize this is the first time since his wife died that Jack has willingly stepped into somebody else’s home again.

The thought nearly breaks your heart.

Grief has a way of shrinking people's worlds—you'd watched it happen to Jack in real time. After his wife died, he stopped inviting people over. Stopped talking about home or lingering after conversations that might eventually end with someone asking how he was doing outside of work. The walls had gone up slowly. Brick by brick. Most people probably never noticed, but you did. Yet here he is, standing in your cluttered apartment with a stethoscope in one hand and a grocery bag full of electrolyte drinks in the other.

"Drink."

You stare at the bottle he shoves toward you, "You're very bossy outside the hospital."

"Drink." He insists.

"Is this because I ignored your texts?"Jack gives you a look, the one he usually reserves for patients actively making terrible decisions. "Partly."

You sigh dramatically and take the bottle, "Happy?"

"No."

That catches your attention. You look up, and Jack is standing near the kitchen counter, arms folded across his chest. The concern on his face isn't hidden anymore. Hasn't been since he walked through the door. "You should've told somebody you were this sick." Your laugh comes out hoarse, "I did."

"No." Jack shakes his head, "You told people you were fine."

"...I was trying not to worry anyone."

"You had a one-oh-one fever and couldn't walk to your bathroom without getting winded."

You look away because when he says it like that, it sounds bad. "It sounds worse when you say it."

"That's because it is worse."

You can't help smiling, but that only seems to annoy him more.

"Why are you smiling?"

"You care."

Jack stares and then immediately looks away. Your fever-addled brain doesn't miss the faint flush creeping up his neck. "Of course I care."

The answer comes too naturally, and for some reason, that makes something warm settle beneath your body. The television murmurs faintly in the background, forgotten as Jack eventually disappears into your kitchen. You hear cabinets opening and then closing. A frustrated sigh leaves him, "How do you have absolutely no food?"

"I have food."

"You have soy sauce and olive oil."

"That's food-adjacent."

Jack pinches the bridge of his nose. "You work in healthcare."

"So do you."

"I know."

"Have you seen what doctors eat?"

He points at you from across the room, "Deflection."

You grin while Jack shakes his head again, but he opens the takeout containers anyway and pours you soup. Then make sure you actually eat it and wait until you're halfway through before finally sitting down. The quiet and unexpected realization sneaks up on him that somehow—he likes taking care of you. Because it shouldn't feel this good. It shouldn't feel this natural to be here. To fuss over your fever, refill your water glass, and check your pulse ox every twenty minutes because he doesn't trust you not to lie about your symptoms.

Yet every time he glances up and sees you curled beneath a blanket on the couch, alive and stubborn and complaining—something in his heart eases. The same feeling he gets when a trauma patient finally stabilizes. When someone he was worried about turns out okay. Only different. This time, it’s more personal and complicated.

You cough suddenly, and Jack is moving before he even realizes it, quickly handing you water. Waiting until the coughing fit passes. Your eyes lift toward him over the rim of the glass. It’s soft and sleepy. "Thank you." Your words are quiet and sincere.

And God help him—that does something to him. Something he doesn't examine too closely.

Because if he does—he might have to ask himself questions he's not ready to answer. Questions like why spending an afternoon taking care of you feels better than spending it anywhere else, or why your apartment already feels strangely familiar. Why did the idea of you being here alone all week bother him so much?

Instead, he focuses on something safer—annoyance. "You know," he says, sitting back in his chair, "your soulmate's doing a terrible job."

You blink at that, frowning, "What?" Jack shrugs, "If they're out there somewhere, they're slacking." A surprised laugh escapes you. "What does that even mean?"

"It means," he says, gesturing vaguely toward your blanket burrito state, "you're sick. Alone. Living on cough drops and spite."

"I had soup."

"You had olive oil."

"That was one time."

Jack rolls his eyes, "My point stands." A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. "They should've shown up by now." The joke is spoken carelessly, and he doesn't know it nearly stops your heart.

You look away first, toward the rain-streaked window, literally anywhere but him. Because if you look at Jack right now—if you look at the man sitting in your apartment, taking care of you, worrying over you, complaining about a soulmate who never appeared—you might break.

The red string hidden beneath your sleeve suddenly feels impossibly burdensome. But Jack doesn't notice, he's too busy opening another bottle of water and making sure your fever isn't climbing again. Somewhere in the quiet warmth of your apartment, he doesn’t realize the irony. Jack is sitting exactly where he should be. Doing exactly what he was supposed to do, and somehow, he can’t see it yet.

2023

PTMC, EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT — NIGHT

Five years ago, you were the new nurse from the Philippines. Now you're simply part of the Pitt. Nobody really introduces you anymore. You're just there, part of the machinery. You know where everything is and everyone's habits. Or when Ellis is pretending to chart and is actually looking for the next best place to nap for her double. You know when Shen is about to spiral before he even realizes it himself. By now, you have memorized Lena's "I'm not mad, I'm disappointed" face is significantly more terrifying than actual anger.

Somewhere along the way—you became one of the safest places in Jack's life. Neither of you meant for that to happen.

It just did.

There are hundreds of tiny moments, none of which seem important on their own. But together, they're devastating. A patient's husband is screaming in the hallway after a failed resuscitation. Security is trying to de-escalate, family members are crying, and the entire department feels tense. Then, appearing devastated, Jack leaves the room but not in a noticeable way. Most people wouldn't recognize it, but you do.

You don't say anything; instead, you simply hand him a cup of coffee. Exactly how he takes it. He looks down at it, then at you. "Mind reader?" You shrug, "You looked like you needed caffeine." The corner of his mouth twitches, "Thanks."

Somehow, that small smile stays with him the rest of the shift.

Another night, it’s three in the morning. Everyone's fucking exhausted. You're sitting on the floor of the supply room because it's the only place nobody can find you for five minutes. Jack opens the door and stops. He finds you sitting there cross-legged, eating stale vending machine pretzels. "You hiding?"

"No."

"You are literally hiding."

You hold up a pretzel, defensive, "This is self-care." Jack stares at you, then, to your horror, he sits beside you on the floor. Like it's completely normal. "You know we're adults, right?" he asks.

"Says the man eating peanut butter crackers for dinner." Jack looks offended; he scoffs, "I had a protein bar." You roll your eyes at that, "Oh. Well, that's different."

His laugh echoes through the tiny room. It’s warm and unrestrained. The sound settles somewhere dangerous inside your chest. Then the days keep passing by, and then the days turn into months, then it’s another shift, another trauma.

Another impossible night.

A frightened little girl refuses to let go of your hand while waiting for stitches. You're sitting beside her bed, explaining every step of the procedure. Making balloon animals out of gloves while telling ridiculous stories.

By the time you're finished, she's laughing. You don't notice Jack standing in the doorway watching or the expression on his face either. The one that lingers long after he walks away. Because somewhere over the years, admiration has quietly become affection.

Affection has started becoming something else—something he doesn't have a name for yet. Jack's issue is that he doesn't immediately feel things. Without thinking, he simply begins searching for you first.

A difficult trauma comes in? His eyes automatically find yours. A bad shift? He looks for you at Central. A joke occurs to him? He wants to tell you. A patient reminds him of something sad? Somehow, you're the person he ends up talking to. 

It happens gradually enough that neither of you notices.

Until everyone else does.

"You know Abbot's gonna have a breakdown if Lifeline ever leaves, right?" Ellis says it casually while charting. You nearly choke on your coffee, "What?" Across the desk, Shen immediately nods. "Oh, absolutely."

"Parker."

"I'm serious."

You point threateningly, "Stop." Parker raises both hands. "Hey, I don't make the rules."

You refuse to acknowledge the strange warmth crawling up your neck. Because if you acknowledge it—you'll have to acknowledge the way your heart still skips whenever Jack smiles at you. After all these years, that feels pathetic.

2024

PTMC, MAIN ENTRANCE — DAY

The rain starts sometime around six in the morning. Not a drizzle—a proper Pittsburgh downpour. The kind that turns streets silver and pounds against windows hard enough to drown out conversation.

After twelve hours of chaos, the entire department begins filtering out toward the parking garage and bus stops. You finally clock out around seven—exhausted and half-awake, absolutely ready for sleep.

When you step outside, you immediately spot Jack standing beneath the small emergency department awning.

Watching the rain… alone with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket. Looking at him, you pause, "You're still here?"

Jack glances over, "My car's in the shop."

That explains it.

"How'd you get here?"

"Rideshare."

You look out toward the street, and the rain is somehow worse now. Jack follows your gaze, "Trying to decide how miserable walking home is gonna be." You glance over, "What happened to your ride?"

Jack lets out a tired breath, "Canceled."

"What?"

"Driver got stuck downtown." You wince at that, and he pulls his phone from his pocket and turns the screen toward you. The rideshare app is a disaster—surge pricing, long wait times. One estimate says thirty-eight minutes, while another says unavailable. Apparently, every exhausted healthcare worker in Pittsburgh had the same idea after shift. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Yeah." Jack stuffs his phone away again. "I've been refreshing it for ten minutes."

You look back toward the rain, then down at the umbrella dangling from your wrist, and then back at him. You ask, "No umbrella?"

"Nope."

You stare at him, then at the rain… and then at the very obvious lack of any workable plan. So, without thinking twice, you hold the umbrella out. Jack blinks, looks at the umbrella, and then at you. Then back at the umbrella. It's baby pink and covered in tiny Miffy rabbits. The ears are even printed around the trim—the thing looks aggressively cheerful.

"You serious?"

"Very."

A laugh escapes him, a real one. Low and surprised and completely unguarded. It's probably the first genuine laugh you've heard from him all shift, maybe longer. You feel absurdly proud of yourself as you snort, "Sorry about the color."

Jack studies the umbrella again, "I think I'll survive."

"You sure? Might destroy your reputation."

"My reputation was already questionable."

"Fair."

You press the handle into his hand without hesitation, because that's just who you are. Someone needs help, so you help; it's that simple. Jack looks genuinely baffled. "Wait."

You pause.

"What about you?" He asks, concerned. You shrug. The rain is cold, and the morning is gray. You've worked twelve hours, and your back hurts, along with your feet. But somehow none of that feels important. "I live closer than you do."

"Lifeline."

"Jack."

"You'll get soaked."

You smile, bright and softly. The same smile you've given frightened patients, overwhelmed residents, and grieving family members. You shrug, "It's rain."

His brow furrows, "You say that like hypothermia isn't a thing." You laugh at that, "I'm from the Philippines. Rain and I have a long-standing relationship."

"That's not remotely reassuring."

"It shouldn't be."

Jack shakes his head, but he's smiling now, which gives you a bit of peace. His eyes linger on you a second too long. Or maybe you're imagining it. You probably are—you usually are. Then you add quietly, "Besides, sometimes life is easier when you stop trying to avoid every uncomfortable thing."

Jack's expression softens, and you glance toward the rain. "Sometimes you just accept you're gonna get soaked and go home anyway." Neither of you says anything for a little bit. Because you both know that your words aren't really about the rain, neither of you acknowledges it. A laugh escapes him again, and he shakes his head, "You always have an answer for everything."

"No." You step backward toward the edge of the awning, and the cold rain immediately spatters against your scrub pants while you grin. "You just have to trust you'll be okay once you get there."

That gets another laugh out of him, the kind that reaches his eyes. You would do almost anything to keep hearing that sound. The umbrella remains clutched in his hand. Pink, ridiculous, and entirely yours. But for some reason, he can't stop staring at it. Or at you, standing in the rain, completely unapologetically yourself. No performance or hidden agenda. Only your kindness offered freely, as if giving away the only thing keeping you dry is the most natural decision in the world.

The thing is—Jack has spent years watching people take. Watching grief take, life and death take. And you...You are always giving… your time, your patience, and your terrible vending machine snacks.  Your heart, if someone needed it badly enough. Now, it’s your umbrella.

Something warm twists unexpectedly inside of him, and he feels tingling all over his skin, as well as his mouth begins to dry. You lift a hand in farewell, "See you tomorrow, Dr. Abbot."

Then you turn and jog into the rain, water immediately drenches your hair, and you laugh when your shoe splashes into a puddle. You keep running anyway. While Jack just stands there—watching, until you disappear around the corner. Long after you're gone, he remains beneath the awning with your pink umbrella still hanging from his hand.

The rideshare app was forgotten entirely, and the rain pounded against the pavement as the morning traffic crawled by. For the first time in a very long time—the thought of going home doesn't feel quite as lonely. He looks down at the ridiculous little umbrella again. Then, despite himself, he smiles. Because somehow the damn thing feels exactly like you.

2025

NIGHTCLUB, PITTSBURGH — NIGHT

The music is loud enough to vibrate through your ribs. Honestly, you're having fun, a rare occurrence these days. Between night shifts and overtime and trying to maintain some semblance of a social life outside of the Pitt, opportunities to be a normal twenty-something are increasingly rare.

So when a few friends invited you out, you said yes. You danced, drank, and laughed. You let yourself forget about work for a few hours, and somewhere between your second drink and the realization that your feet hurt, you discovered a very important problem.

Your apartment keys were gone—completely vanished, you checked your purse three times. Your jacket pockets twice, then the bathroom counter, next the bar, and still nothing. Which is how you found yourself sitting in a booth near the back of the club with your phone pressed to your ear.

Waiting for Jack to answer.

He picks up on the second ring, "Everything okay?" You immediately relax, which is probably a problem. "Maybe."

Jack sighs, the sound of a man who has known you far too long, "What happened?" You look mournfully into your drink, "I lost my keys." A pause on the other end, and then, "You what?"

"They're gone."

"Lifeline."

"They disappeared."

"Keys don't disappear."

"They absolutely do."

The music swells around you, and someone screams happily near the dance floor. Through the phone, Jack suddenly goes quiet. He asks, "Where are you?"

You blink, "Huh?"

"Where are you?"

You frown, then glance up at the neon sign hanging over the bar, "Oh." You tell him the club's name. The silence on the other end lasts approximately two seconds before you hear him ask, "How are you getting home?"

You wave a hand vaguely despite the fact he can't see you, "M'gonna Uber." The words come out more slurred than intended. Silence... a long silence, then you hear him sigh,  "Jesus Christ."

"It’s not that bad—"

"No."

You open your mouth to argue, but Jack beats you to it. "I'm picking you up." You immediately sober, exclaiming, "What?"

"Do not leave with anybody."

"Jack—"

"Do not get into a stranger's car."

"That's literally what Uber is." You throw back in response.

"Lifeline." The warning in his voice makes you sit up straighter. "I'm serious. Stay where you are."

"Jack—"

"I'm already grabbing my keys."

Your stomach flips unexpectedly as you point out, "You're working tomorrow."

"So are you."

"Jack."

His voice drops lower, gentler as he begs, "Please." And that ends the argument before it starts. You stare at your drink and reluctantly reply, "...Okay."

"Good." A beat and then you hear, "Don't hang up."

Twenty-five minutes later, Jack walks into the club and promptly forgets how to breathe, because he has never seen you like this before. At work, you're always in scrubs, with your hair pulled back, minimal makeup, and practical shoes.

Tonight—tonight you look nothing like the nurse who steals his coffee and argues with surgeons. Your hair is down, and your makeup catches the flashing lights every time you move. The outfit you're wearing should probably be illegal—at least that's what his traitorous brain immediately decides. Far too much skin and too beautiful—too distracting.

Jack stares for half a second too long, but then immediately hates himself for it. Because he's Jack and you're you. You're his friend, and he's forty-something years old and should absolutely know better. But the sudden realization that other people are staring at you, too, fills him with an entirely unreasonable amount of irritation. There are multiple reasons he hates that realization—none of them are good. You spot him immediately, and relief floods your face, "Jack!"

Somehow that's worse—because you're happy to see him, you always are. Jack pushes through the crowd toward your booth. He asks, "You okay?" 

You grin, a little tipsy and a little tired, "Hi."

"That's not an answer."

"I lost my keys."

"You mentioned."

You immediately point at him, "I looked."

"I believe you."

"I looked everywhere."

Jack softens despite himself, "I know."

Just like that, some of the tension leaves your shoulders. The amount of trust you've placed in him over the years—it sneaks up on him sometimes, along with the amount he's placed in you. Neither of you ever talks about it—it's just simply there.

"Where are your friends?"

You blink.

"Oh."

You glance toward the dance floor, where your group has completely disappeared into the crowd. One of them is standing on a platform dancing with a stranger. Another appears to be attempting karaoke despite there being no karaoke machine. Honestly, nobody looks remotely concerned about your whereabouts. You point vaguely, "Over there." Jack follows your finger, and immediately regrets it. "Jesus." 

You laugh, "They're having fun."

"They look like a liability."

"They are." A pause, then you smile warmly at him. The kind of smile that's become increasingly difficult for him to ignore lately.

"You ready to head home?" The question comes out gentler than he intended. Your expression softens immediately. "Mhm."

There’s no argument because the answer was always going to be yes. After all, it's him asking. Something in Jack's chest tightens unexpectedly. You climb out of the booth and wobble slightly when your heel catches on the edge of the floor. His hand is on your elbow before either of you thinks about it. It’s steady and instinctive—the contact lasts barely a second, but you both notice. Your eyes flick down to his hand, then back up to his face. Neither of you says anything, and Jack clears his throat first before he lets go, "You good?" 

You nod immediately, "Mhm. Yep." Then point at him. "I need to go tell them I'm not being kidnapped by you."

The laugh that escapes him is helpless, "You go do that."

You grin, "Okay.” Before turning toward the dance floor, you lightly tap his arm. It’s a small gesture, mindless and affectionate. The kind of touch friends make without thinking. Yet Jack feels it long after you've disappeared into the crowd. He watches you weave through the dancers. Watch you throw your arms around one of your friends.

You laugh at something that makes your whole face light up, and standing there in the middle of a crowded nightclub, surrounded by strangers and flashing lights and music loud enough to shake the floor—Jack suddenly realizes he's smiling. He's smiling because you're happy and somewhere deep down, in a place he has been carefully avoiding for a very long time—he knows that's becoming a problem.

You weave your way through the crowd, dodging dancers and spilled drinks, until you finally find your friends near the center of the dance floor. One of them immediately grabs your arm, "There you are!" You laugh, "Apparently, I'm leaving."

"What?" another groans theatrically. "Already?"

You point toward the edge of the club—toward Jack. Standing near the entrance with his hands shoved into his jacket pockets, waiting. The second your friends spot him, several heads swivel at once. Then all of them turn suspiciously slowly back toward you.

"Ohhh."

You immediately know that tone, you shake your head, "No."

"That's the doctor."

"No."

"The hot doctor."

You cover your face, "Oh my God." One of them leans closer, asking, "Is he your boyfriend?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Very."

"Because he definitely looks like he's here to pick up his girlfriend." Heat floods your face instantly, "No, he does not."

Across the room, Jack glances over, as if sensing he's being talked about. But when he spots you, his expression visibly relaxes. And unfortunately, your friends see that too. "Oh my God."

You groan, "Stop."

"He likes you."

"He does not."

"He drove here to rescue you from yourself."

"That's called friendship."

"That's called middle-aged pining." You nearly choke, "Please never say those words again."

Laughter follows you all the way back toward the entrance, and Jack looks mildly concerned the closer you get. "You okay?"

"Apparently not."

He narrows his eyes at your response, "What happened?"

"My friends are terrible people."

"Fair."

You point at him, "Don't encourage them."

"I'm not encouraging anybody."

"Liar."

The corner of his mouth twitches, and just like that, some of the tension leaves your shoulders. The simple fact that he's here has solved half the problem already. Then you take two steps toward the exit, but Jack is moving before he even thinks about it. One hand catches your elbow, and the other settles briefly at your waist, steadying you. The contact is innocent, but your breath catches anyway. It’s practical and necessary, at least that's what both of you tell yourselves.

"Whoa there." Jack says, and you blink up at him, then immediately start laughing, "I think the floor moved."

"The floor did not move."

"It absolutely moved."

"Lifeline."

"I'm just saying." Jack shakes his head, and his hand doesn't immediately leave your waist. Neither of you seems to notice. Or maybe both of you notice too much. "Come on."

You allow him to guide you outside, and the cool night air hits immediately. Rain lingers on the pavement, turning the streets into rivers of reflected neon. You inhale deeply, then sway again. Jack catches you before it becomes a problem. His hand settles more firmly against your side this time, and your body immediately relaxes into the contact like it's familiar.

Jack notices that too. "You good?" He asked, and you nod, "Mhm." A beat, and then you add, "The ground's still suspicious."

That earns a real laugh out of him, and you love that sound.

The parking lot isn't far, but Jack keeps his hand on your waist the entire walk there. Just in case… well, at least that's what he tells himself. Not because he likes the feeling of you beside him or how perfectly you fit there.

Just in case. That's all…. at least for tonight.

Jack sighs. The long-suffering sigh of a man who spends his life dealing with stubborn people. "Come on."

You allow him to guide you… well. at least until you nearly walk directly into a group of people entering the club. Jack catches your shoulder and redirects you gently, "Okay."

"What?"

His hand settles more firmly against your back, "Maybe we're graduating from independent walking." You gasp dramatically, "I am fully capable." But your words come out slightly slurred.

Jack raises an eyebrow, "You just tried to walk through three people."

"They were in my way."

A laugh escapes him. God. You're something truly special.

Now he has a new problem. Namely, getting you safely into his truck before you attempt something stupid.

The passenger-side door swings open, and you stare at it, then back at the seat. Jack immediately knows what's happening. "Need help?"

"No." A pause as you squint at the truck suspiciously. "Maybe."

"It's higher than it looked five seconds ago, isn't it?"

"It definitely wasn't this tall before."

Jack bites the inside of his cheek, hard, trying not to laugh.

"Okay."

Before you can protest, his firm hands settle at your waist, and suddenly you're being lifted just enough to get into the passenger seat. The whole thing takes maybe two seconds, except neither of you feels normal afterward. You freeze, and Jack also freezes. His hands are still on your waist, and you're looking directly at each other—far too close.

For a brief, dangerous moment, neither of you moves. Then Jack clears his throat, immediately stepping back. "Seatbelt."

Your brain takes several seconds to reboot, "What?"

"Seatbelt."

"Oh."

Of course, duh. You fumble with it and miss the buckle twice before Jack reaches over and clicks it into place. His face is suddenly very near again. Near enough to see the tiny scar near his jaw, and that your heart starts doing things it absolutely should not be doing. "There." His voice comes out lower than usual. You swallow, "Thanks."

Neither of you acknowledges how strange the moment felt and the warmth lingering where his hands had been. Or the way Jack has to grip the steering wheel a little tighter once he's behind it. Because some things are easier left alone. At least for now.

JACK ABBOT’S APARTMENT — NIGHT

The drive back to your apartment is quieter than the nightclub. The city has settled into that strange hour between night and morning, when the roads are mostly empty, and the traffic lights seem to change for no one. Rain taps softly against the windshield as Jack drives, one hand on the wheel, the other resting near the gearshift. You are attempting to stay awake. Attempting being the important word here. Every few minutes, your head tips toward the window before jerking upright again.

Jack notices every single time, "You can sleep."

"I'm not sleeping."

"You were asleep thirty seconds ago."

"I was thinking."

"You were drooling."

You gasp in offense, and Jack doesn't even look at you as he commands, "Go to sleep."

"You're mean." A laugh escapes him at your comment. He realizes that he’s been doing it a lot when he’s around you.

By the time you arrive at your apartment, you’re humming a song, trying to stay awake. Then Jack pats his pocket, and freezes when he realizes, "...Shit."

You blink, "What?" He closes his eyes, "I forgot your spare key." You stare, then immediately start laughing.

Jack groans, "Oh my God."

"You drove all the way there."

“Don’t.”

"You forgot the whole reason you picked me up."

"Don't." 

Your laughter gets worse, and for the first time in years, Jack lets out a full belly laugh too. He begins to drive to his apartment, and since it’s late, he offers for you to crash at his place. 

By the time he pulls into his apartment complex, you're visibly losing the fight against exhaustion and alcohol—mostly alcohol. The second you step through the front door, you kick your heels off exaggeratedly. One lands near the couch, and the other somehow ends up halfway down the hallway. Jack silently watches this happen. Then watches you attempt to unbuckle whatever complicated contraption is keeping your outfit together. "Okay," he says immediately.

"What?"

"Maybe let's not do that."

You frown at him, "Why?"

Because you're drunk—very drunk, and apparently completely unaware that you're standing in the middle of his apartment trying to peel yourself out of an outfit that has occupied far too much of his attention already. Jack suddenly finds the ceiling fascinating, the wall too. Actually, maybe the floor. Anywhere except you.

"Because," he says carefully, "you need pajamas."

"Oh." You consider this, then nod solemnly. "Pajamas are smart."

"Thank you."

"I am smart."

"You are." He nods, and you point at him, "I knew you'd agree."

Jack presses his lips together. God help him. Somehow, over the years, you've become one of his favorite people. A few minutes later, after much negotiation and several failed attempts to convince you that sleeping in sequins is a terrible idea, Jack disappears into his bedroom closet. He returns holding an old Army shirt—worn soft with age, the fabric faded from years of washing, along with a pair of boxers. You stare, then grin. "These yours?" Jack immediately regrets everything, "Yes."

"Cool."

Then, before he can stop you—you start changing.

"Jesus Christ."

You blink, "What?"

Jack is staring firmly at the opposite wall. "You could've warned me."

"Why?"

Because you're still drunk enough that embarrassment hasn't caught up with you yet. Meanwhile, Jack is discovering entirely new levels of self-control.

"Bathroom," he says.

"Right." You pause, then gesture wildly. "The bathroom."

"Correct."

Five minutes later, you emerge wearing the oversized shirt. The hem brushes your thighs while sleeves hang past your hands. The sight nearly kills him, because you look comfortable—like you belong here. Which is a thought he immediately shoves into a locked box and throws into the ocean. Nope. Not touching that. Absolutely not. That’s reserved for a future therapy session. Boy, is his therapist going to love that.

"Sit."

You immediately sit on the edge of his bed.

"Drink."

You obediently accept the water bottle, and Jack blinks, "That's new."

"What?"

"You listened."

You point at him, "You're bossy."

"Drink the water."

You drink the water, then he hands you a spare toothbrush and makes sure you actually use it. Then spends several minutes making certain you don't accidentally fall asleep face-first into the sink. By the time he's satisfied you're hydrated and functional enough not to accidentally die overnight, you're sitting cross-legged on the edge of his bed, wrapped in one of his old shirts and looking increasingly sleepy.

You dig through your purse. "There are makeup wipes in here."

Jack pauses, asks, "You carry those around?"

"My eyeliner smudges." You shrug. "My mascara too."

Jack shakes his head, "Prepared for everything."

"It's literally why we carry purses."

"Pretty sure that's not why."

"It absolutely is."

He finds the packet eventually and pulls one free, then gestures to you, "Come here." You blink, dazed, "What?"

"Your mascara's halfway down your face."

Well, that’s fucking mortifying—immediately you cover your face, "Oh my God." Jack laughs softly; the sound is low and warm. "You're fine."

"No, I'm not."

"You really are."

Gently, he pulls your hand away and carefully brushes the wipe across your cheek. His touch is light, patient, and unhurried. The same hands that place chest tubes and suture wounds and perform procedures under pressure somehow become impossibly gentle. They always do around people he cares about. You go strangely still, and the room suddenly feels too quiet and small. Jack is close enough that the details become impossible to ignore. The silver was woven through his hair. The exhaustion that never quite leaves his eyes. The traces of loss he carries with him even now. And still, despite all of it—or maybe because of it—he remains devastatingly, painfully beautiful.

"You've done this before." The words leave your mouth before you can stop them.

Jack's hand stills briefly, then resumes. "Mmm." His voice is soft, a little distant. "She hated taking her makeup off."

The ache arrives instantly—it’s deep and familiar.

"She'd fall asleep on the couch." A small smile touches his mouth. "Every time." His gaze drops to the wipe in his hand, "Eventually, it was easier to do it myself."

A tender silence settles over the room, and suddenly your eyes sting. Because even now—all these years later—he still misses her. Of course he does, he always will.

"Jack." He looks up, and you swallow hard. "I'm sorry." 

His hand pauses, and he asks, "For what?"

Your throat tightens painfully, "I know you miss her." The words come out small, but completely honest, and are barely above a whisper. Jack looks at you, and what he sees nearly unravels him. Because you're crying for him—not for yourself, or because you're drunk. You're crying because his pain hurts you. Because somehow you've always carried pieces of everyone else's heartbreak as if it belongs to you too.

A tear slips down your cheek, and before you can wipe it away, Jack reaches up, his thumb tenderly brushes gently across your skin.

The touch lingers slightly.

"Hey." His voice is impossibly soft, "Don't cry, honey."

The endearment slips out before he can stop it. The second it does, the room changes. Your breath catches, and Jack freezes. Neither of you moves. For one suspended second, the entire world narrows to that single point of contact. His hand against your cheek, your eyes locked on his. The silence between you is suddenly filled with things neither of you knows how to say. Then Jack does the only thing he can think of—he opens his arms, and you go willingly. The hug is immediate, warm, and safe. Your forehead presses against his shoulder, and his strong arms wrap around you while you melt into him without hesitation. Trusting him completely, the way you always have. Fuck—that might be the most dangerous thing of all. For a moment, neither of you lets go, because none of you wants to. Jack can feel your heartbeat through the thin cotton of his shirt and feel your breathing gradually slowing. He can feel himself becoming far too aware of how perfectly you fit against him.

He closes his eyes for a second.

A mistake.

Because the truth waits for him there—the truth that somewhere along the way, you stopped being just his friend and just his favorite nurse. Stopped being just the person he trusted most and became something he doesn't know what to do with.

Eventually, your breathing evens out. Then slows….then slows again. Jack glances down and realizes you've fallen asleep curled against him. Carefully, he shifts and lowers you onto the bed, pulls the blanket over you, and tucks it beneath your shoulder. The motion is automatic, and for a moment, guilt rises sharp and sudden. Not because you remind him of his late wife. You don't, and you never have. You never will. But somehow that realization doesn't hurt. It simply feels true. You are different—entirely your own person. Entirely your own place in his life. Jack stands there for a long moment, watching you sleep peacefully. Then quietly, he reaches for his crutches resting beside the nightstand.

The apartment is dark now, silent, as he pauses at the doorway, looks back one last time, at you sleeping in his bed. Wrapped in his shirt, breathing softly against his pillow, and despite every effort not to—Jack smiles. Then he switches off the light and heads toward the couch. Completely unaware that he's already fallen far deeper than he ever intended to.

JACK ABBOT'S APARTMENT — MORNING

The first thing you notice when you wake up is that you're comfortable. Suspiciously comfortable. Wrapped in sheets that smell faintly of clean laundry and something familiar you can't quite place. For a few blissful seconds, you remain exactly where you are, half-buried beneath the blankets, eyes still closed. Then your brain starts working slowly… like an old computer booting up. Your mouth is dry, your head hurts, and you have absolutely no idea where the hell you are.

You crack one eye open, and a ceiling you don't recognize stares back. Your stomach immediately drops. "Oh no."

Then the memories start returning. The nightclub, losing your keys, calling Jack… Jack picking you up. The drive to his apartment, the makeup wipes, and the hug. Oh God. The hug.

Your eyes fly open, fully awake now. Mortification floods your entire body with terrifying speed. "No, no, no, no..." 

You immediately bury your face in your hands. Maybe if you stay here long enough, you'll evaporate, and the earth will open up and swallow you whole. Maybe cardiac arrest—you'd accept cardiac arrest. Slowly, you peek out from between your fingers, and a glass of water sits on the nightstand. Beside it is a bottle of ibuprofen and a neatly folded note in Jack's handwriting.

Drink water before standing up.

Your heart does something deeply unhelpful as you groan, "Oh, my God."

Because that's such a Jack thing to do, he’s practical, thoughtful, and annoyingly sweet. You whimper and flop backward onto the pillow.

Unfortunately, reality remains—and reality is that you are currently in Jack Abbot's bed. His bed—his actual bed, the place where he sleeps. The place where—You immediately shove that thought into a dumpster and set it on fire. Nope. Absolutely not. Not going there.

You drag yourself upright before your imagination can make things worse. The oversized Army shirt hanging off your shoulders shifts as you move. Your eyes immediately drop. Jack's shirt. You are wearing Jack's shirt. You consider throwing yourself out of the nearest window.

The bathroom is somehow worse. Because now you're sober, fully sober. Which means you remember everything… mostly. You splash cold water onto your face repeatedly. Trying to wash away the embarrassment and the memory of crying. The image of him calling you honey and you falling asleep against him.

"Oh, I'm never recovering from this." You groan into the sink before you force yourself to look in the mirror. You survive trauma shifts and twelve-hour nights. You went through fucking COVID. So… you can survive breakfast. Probably.

After one final pep talk that accomplishes absolutely nothing, you step out of the bathroom and immediately stop. A framed photograph sits atop the dresser, Jack and his wife, both smiling. The picture looks old, well-loved, the edges slightly worn. Guilt arrives like a punch to the ribs. Because no matter how much time has passed, she's still here. In photographs, memories, and the quiet spaces, he doesn't talk about. You stare at the picture for a moment longer, then look away. The guilt lingers anyway.

The smell hits you before you reach the living room. Coffee, eggs, and toast, along with something frying in a pan. Your stomach growls traitorously, then you turn the corner, and nearly walk directly into a wall. Because Jack is standing at the stove, shirtless. You stop functioning completely. Gone. No thoughts. Head empty. Just panic. Because somehow, in all the years you've known him, you've never actually seen him like this.

At work, he's always covered by scrubs, layers, a jacket, and PPE. Now—now he's standing barefoot in his kitchen wearing nothing but athletic shorts and his prosthetic. Morning sunlight spills through the apartment windows. Across broad shoulders, freckled skin, and muscle earned through years of physical therapy, stubbornness, and sheer determination. The prosthetic is already attached as part of him, as familiar and unremarkable as breathing. You know the story and what happened, and understand now the work it takes to live with it.

Still—seeing him outside the hospital feels strangely intimate, and very human. Your jaw nearly hits the floor as Jack turns. He immediately catches your expression, and to his eternal satisfaction, you look horrified. Not by him, but by being caught staring. His mouth twitches, "Morning."

You blink once, then twice, and you begin rapidly looking anywhere else.

"Morning." Your voice cracks. Well, that’s spectacular. Jack's eyebrow rises, "Rough landing?" You clear your throat. "Oh, absolutely."

His smile grows slightly. "There are worse hangovers."

"Don't."

"You called me at midnight because you lost your keys."

"Jack."

"You accused the floor of moving."

"Jack."

"You tried to negotiate with a coat rack."

Your eyes widen as you sputter, "I did not."

"You absolutely did."

"Oh my fucking God."

Jack laughs—there it is again, a little lighter than it used to be. "Come eat." You hesitate, still standing awkwardly in his shirt, and painfully aware you're in his apartment—his space. Then Jack glances over his shoulder, "You need food before your headache gets worse."

There it is. His doctor voice—the one that brooks absolutely no argument. You sigh dramatically and obey. Because apparently that's become a habit. Jack places a plate in front of you. Eggs, toast, fruit, and a giant glass of water.

You stare, and then at him, then back at the plate, "You made breakfast."

"You sound surprised."

"You made breakfast."

"You were hungover." You blink because he says it so simply, as if taking care of you is the most natural thing in the world, and maybe that's what gets you. It's how easy it seems for him—the quiet way he shows up. Again, and again. So instead of saying any of that, you pick up a piece of toast. "Thanks." Jack glances up from his coffee, his expression softening almost imperceptibly. "Anytime, Lifeline."

You lower your gaze quickly and focus on your breakfast instead. Unfortunately, that only makes things worse because now you're sitting at Jack's dining table, in Jack's apartment—wearing Jack's shirt.

Eating breakfast, he made for you. The domesticity of it settles wrong inside your conscience. Not because you or him have done anything wrong. But because it feels like you're standing in a place that once belonged to someone else. Your eyes drift toward the bookshelf across the room. A framed photograph sits among the books, showing Jack and his late wife. They’re smiling and happy.

The familiar guilt immediately curls around your throat. You look away, and your appetite suddenly harder to find. Jack notices and asks, "You okay?"

You force a smile, "Mhm." Jack raises an eyebrow. The same look he gives patients who claim their pain is a three out of ten while actively dying. "Lifeline."

You sigh at being caught, again. "It's stupid."

"If you're saying that, it probably isn't."

The concern in his voice makes the guilt worse. You stare down at your plate, picking apart a piece of toast. "You've done so much for me."

Jack frowns immediately, "Okay."

"And I kind of crashed into your life last night." 

His confusion visibly increases as he points out the obvious, "You lost your keys."

"I know."

"You called me."

"I know."

Jack waits as you groan softly because this sounds ridiculous out loud. "It just feels like I'm imposing."

Jack's expression softens as he says, "Lifeline." You hate it when he says your nickname like that—as if he's trying to talk you down from something.

"You are not imposing."

You look away, stubbornly mutter, "Still."

"No." His answer comes immediately.

You glance up, and Jack is looking directly at you now. Completely serious. "You called because you needed help. That's what people do."

"But—"

"It's not a burden."

You open your mouth; however, Jack cuts you off again. "You would've done the same thing for me."

And unfortunately—he's right. You would've, without hesitation. At three in the morning, or in the middle of a thunderstorm. Without a second thought.

Jack sees the realization cross your face. A faint smile touches the corner of his mouth.

"Exactly."

You look back down at your plate, suddenly embarrassed. Because he's making it sound so simple. Meanwhile, your brain is spiraling. You risk a glance upward and immediately regret it. Because Jack is leaning against the counter. Coffee mug in hand. Morning sunlight spilling through the kitchen windows behind him. Now that you're sober, you're trying very hard not to notice things. Like the freckles scattered across his shoulders. Or the way years of physical therapy and hospital shifts have built quiet strength into him. Maybe the fact that he looks unfairly good for someone standing barefoot in his kitchen at eight in the morning. Your eyes immediately dart back to your eggs because you’re a coward.

"So." Jack takes another sip of coffee. The amusement in his voice is impossible to miss. "You gonna keep staring at your breakfast like it’s inedible?"

You nearly choke, "What?"

"The eggs."

"Oh." Your face feels suspiciously warm. "They're intimidating."

Jack stares at you, then laughs.

Somehow and somewhere along the way, Jack stopped being your soulmate, the impossible person at the end of a red string, and became Jack. The man who remembers your coffee order, and the one who checked on you when you had COVID, who keeps spare electrolyte packets in his kitchen because he knows you're terrible at taking care of yourself. The man who made you breakfast because you were hungover, and the man who still loves his wife. The guilt returns instantly. You glance toward the photograph again. Jack follows your gaze this time. His expression changes subtly. The smile faded into something quieter, more thoughtful. Neither of you says anything for a moment. The apartment settles into a small, comfortable, sad silence. The kind that comes from old grief that never fully disappears. Finally, you clear your throat. "I'm sorry."

Jack immediately looks confused. "For what?" You gesture vaguely around the apartment. "Sleeping in your room." His expression somehow becomes even more confused. "Lifeline."

"I'm serious."

"Why?"

You stare at him, "Because it's your room."

"Correct."

"And your bed."

"Also correct."

You narrow your eyes because Jack is enjoying this. The asshole. "Jack."

"What?"

"I feel bad."

His expression softens immediately into a quiet gentleness. "It's fine." He replied. You shake your head, "But—"

"No." His voice is calm. "I wasn't going to wake you up so you could sleep on the couch." You open your mouth. Close it. Open it again. You try to rebut, "But—" Jack points toward your coffee, "You would've fallen asleep sitting upright."

"That's not true."

"It absolutely is."

"It happened one time."

"It happened three times."

"Allegedly."

Jack laughs into his coffee, and for a moment, just a moment, the guilt eases. Because he's looking at you like you're welcome here. As if your presence isn't an intrusion or that helping you wasn't an obligation. It was just something he wanted to do. That realization follows you for the rest of breakfast. Maybe that's why loving him has always felt so dangerous. It's the spare apartment key he keeps on his keyring. The electrolyte packets in his kitchen because he knows you're terrible at remembering to drink water. The bottle of ibuprofen is waiting on the nightstand before you even wake up. The way he remembers—he doesn't even realize he's doing it.

Eventually, breakfast ends, and you help carry plates to the sink despite Jack's protests. "I'm perfectly capable of washing a plate."

"I know."

"You sounded doubtful."

"I wasn't."

"You were."

Jack rolls his eyes, and you grin.

For a moment, it feels normal. As if this is something the two of you do all the time. Then Jack glances toward the hallway. "I should shower."

Your eyes immediately dart away.

Why are you suddenly embarrassed? You've seen this man covered in blood during trauma activations, and somehow, showering is what's awkward.

"Okay." Jack nods, then pauses, a small frown appearing. "You don't have clothes."

You blink, "Oh." You hadn't actually thought that far ahead. Your club outfit is currently somewhere in the apartment and likely smells like spilled alcohol, perfume, and poor decisions.

Jack disappears down the hallway before you can offer a solution. A moment later he returns carrying a pair of gray sweatpants and another shirt. You immediately recognize the Army logo faded across the front. "Here."

You stare at him, then back at the clothes. "I can't take your clothes."

"You're already wearing my clothes." Unfortunately, he has a point. You glance down at the oversized shirt hanging off your shoulders. Jack's mouth twitches, "The sweats have a drawstring."

"Oh, good."

"They should fit."

"Should?"

"Mostly." You narrow your eyes, but Jack looks entirely unapologetic. "You can keep the shirt." Your heart immediately forgets how to function, breathless, "What?" Jack casually shrugs, "It's old." You can’t fucking breathe, so you settle for, "Oh."

The thought of keeping it, taking it home, and sleeping in it. Smelling his laundry detergent every time you wear it is incredibly intimate. "Thanks."

Across his expression is as soft as his response,  "You're welcome." Then he gestures toward the hallway. "I'm gonna shower."

You nod, "Okay."

"The shower chair's in my bathroom, so I'll be in there awhile." The statement is matter-of-fact and unremarkable. The same way he always talks about it. Not because it doesn't matter. But because Jack long ago learned there was no point treating every accommodation like a tragedy. It's simply part of his life—part of him. You nod again, "Take your time."

Jack studies you for a second; he's checking for lingering hangover symptoms. Then apparently decides you'll survive. "I'll drive you home after."

"Sounds good." You agree. There’s a pause before Jack says, "Try not to break anything while I'm gone." Your gasp is immediate, "Rude."

"I know you."

"You wound me."

Jack laughs, then walks down the hallway. A few moments later, you hear the bathroom door close. The apartment becomes quiet—the one that only exists in the homes of people who live alone. You wander slowly—absolutely not snooping. You were observing, there's a difference. The apartment itself feels like Jack. Comfortable, practical, and unpretentious. Bookshelves line one wall of the living room. Medical textbooks, military history, and novels with dog-eared pages. A few framed photographs scattered throughout the apartment—friends, coworkers, and people who matter.

You pause near one shelf. A photograph sits there. Jack and his late wife, when they were younger, were laughing. The picture caught in the middle of a moment rather than a pose. She has her head tipped toward him, and Jack is looking at her like she hung the moon.

Your stomach lurches. Because even now—years later—she still belongs here. Of course she does. This was their home, their life. You gently set the frame back exactly where you found it. Suddenly feeling like an intruder again, your gaze drifts around the apartment. There are signs of her everywhere if you know where to look. It isn’t overwhelming or frozen in time. There’s a photograph, a ceramic mug, and a framed postcard tucked between books. Evidence that she existed, and you hate yourself a little. Because standing here, wrapped in Jack's clothes, waiting for him to finish showering, part of you wishes things were different. Part of you wishes you weren't standing in the aftermath of someone else's great love story. The guilt settles heavily, along with the red string hidden beneath your sleeve. You glance toward the hallway, and the sound of running water. Toward the man you've loved for years. Because no matter how badly you want him—you've never wanted to replace her. Not for a second. Never. You just...wanted him to be happy, even if it was never with you.

The drive back to your apartment is quiet, but not uncomfortable. You sit curled into the passenger seat, your folded dress resting on your lap alongside your heels. The sleeves of Jack's old Army shirt hang past your wrists, and the sweatpants are too big with the drawstring pulled tight enough to keep them from falling. You feel ridiculous, like a child playing dress-up. Outside the window, Pittsburgh drifts by in shades of gray. You keep your eyes fixed on it. Because every time you glance at Jack, your heart hurts. Especially after last night… the makeup wipes, the hug, his hand on your face, honey. You don't trust yourself anymore, not even a little. Beside you, Jack steals another glance. You're unusually quiet, and that alone is enough to make him nervous. Normally, even hungover, you'd be talking, making terrible jokes, or complaining about your headache.

Instead, you're staring out the window like you're already somewhere else. His fingers tighten slightly on the steering wheel as he asks, "You okay?" You nod immediately, humming, "Mhm."

A lie that Jack recognizes instantly, but he lets it go for now. When he finally pulls up in front of your apartment building, neither of you moves immediately. The truck idles softly as silence stretches, then you suddenly unbuckle. Before Jack can process what's happening, you lean across the center console and wrap your arms around him. The hug catches him completely off guard, and for a moment, he freezes. Then instinct takes over. His arms come around you automatically. Your face presses briefly against his shoulder. Jack's heart does something strange and painful. Because it feels like goodbye, and he has absolutely no idea why.

"Hey." His voice comes out softer than intended. You squeeze him once before you let go, because if you hold on any longer, you won't be able to leave.

"Thanks," you whisper. Your eyes sting immediately, but you force a smile anyway. "For everything." The words shouldn't sound final, but they do. "Anytime, honey." The endearment slips out effortlessly and naturally now. Neither of you acknowledges it. Jack studies your face, trying to figure out what's wrong, to understand why you suddenly look like you're trying not to cry. So he asks carefully, "I'll see you later at work, yeah?"

Your throat tightens while you nod. "Mhm." It's not technically a lie. The second you step out of the truck, you don't look back. You can't. Because if you do, you'll stay. So you practically run inside your apartment building.

Leaving Jack staring after you, confused, worried, and somehow strangely unsettled.

PTMC, EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT — DAY

Dana and Lena listen quietly. The three of you sit in an empty conference room before shift change. You make it approximately halfway through your explanation before you start crying. Not graceful tears, pretty tears, but the ugly kind. The tears you've spent years swallowing, "I'm sorry."

Dana immediately reaches for you, "Hey." You shake your head, "I'm sorry."

"Hon." Dana rubs circles against your back, her voice gentle, maternal. "Why are you apologizing?" You laugh through your tears because the answer feels obvious and impossible. "Because I'm in love with him."

The room falls silent as Lena and Dana exchange a glance. A look. One that says they already knew. Everyone always knows except the people involved. "It's just for a little while," you whisper while you wipe furiously at your face. "I just need some space." Dana's expression softens. She asks, "And what about your heart?"

That's the problem, isn't it? Your heart—your stupid, stubborn heart. You stare down at your hands, "Until it relearns how to stop beating for him." Then quietly you hear Lena ask,  "So you're not gonna tell him?" You shake your head immediately, "I can't."

Because how do you tell someone that you've been tethered to them for seven years? That you've loved them through a marriage, grief, and loss. Through healing. How do you tell someone that? Especially when he never chose you. So you don't.

THREE DAYS LATER…

PTMC, EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT — NIGHT

Three days later, Jack notices immediately, the second he walks into the ED, you're gone. No coffee sitting beside your workstation and sarcastic comments from Central—there’s no you. He finds Lena first and asks, "Where is she?" Lena doesn't even look up from her charting, "Where's who?” Jack stares, "Lifeline."

"Oh." She clicks something on her computer. "Day shift." His stomach drops, "What?"

"She switched."

"When?" Lena shrugs at him, "A few days ago." 

Jack blinks slowly. "Why?"

"Ask Dana." Suddenly, Lena becomes very interested in her chart.

A week passes, then two, and Jack begins losing his mind. Because you are avoiding him, deliberately and aggressively. You leave before he arrives, or arrive before he leaves. You disappear down hallways and take lunch at different times. Find literally any excuse not to be alone with him. The few times he manages to catch sight of you—you smile and wave.

Then vanish again, like smoke, as if you're afraid of him, and that hurts. Because Jack keeps replaying that night. The club, his apartment, the hug, and the morning after. What did he miss? What did he do? Did he cross a line? Did he make you uncomfortable? Did he somehow ruin the one friendship he can't bear to lose? Every answer leads nowhere, and every day you drift a little farther away. Three weeks later, during shift change, Jack finally spots you. Walking quickly through the corridor, badge swinging from the clip of your scrub pocket, and iced coffee in hand.

He immediately changes direction. "Lifeline." You freeze for a second, then keep walking. Fuck. Jack follows and calls after you, "Lifeline." Your pace somehow gets faster, and now he's genuinely irritated and hurt. "Hey."

Finally, you stop, turning around, with a careful smile already in place, too careful. But not him, never him, not until now. "Hi, Jack." The distance between you feels enormous as he asks, "What is going on?" Nothing. Everything. You force a shrug, "Nothing."

That’s bullshit, and Jack knows it's bullshit. You know he knows, but neither of you says it. Then somebody calls your name from down the hallway, and relief floods your face at escaping him. The realization dawns on him like a punch.

"I gotta go."

"Lifeline—"

"See you around." Then you're gone, again. Practically running.

That's when it happens—Jack stares after you, heart pounding, confused, angry, and hurt. Suddenly—pain flares around his wrist. It’s sharp and hot. He physically flinches, "What the—"

A red thread appears beneath his skin, bright and impossible, but all too real. Jack freezes as the world tilts. No. No. No. The string winds itself slowly around his wrist. As it has always belonged there, it was simply waiting.

His breath catches because he knows what it is; everybody knows what it is. His pulse begins hammering. The thread stretches down the hallway, past nurses, residents, and stretchers, straight toward—You. Jack stumbles, his hand slamming against the wall to keep himself upright as the hallway blurs and his vision tunnels.

No. No, that's impossible. His heart pounds so hard it hurts. The red string glows softly between his wrist and yours, unbroken. Years… all these years. Every conversation, every shift, every cup of coffee, and every moment. Every time you'd looked at him and then looked away, or when you'd disappeared when things became too close. All the times you'd chosen distance. The truth crashes into him all at once. You knew. Oh God. You knew, and somewhere down the hallway—completely unfazed—you kept walking.

While Jack stands frozen in place, one hand braced against the wall, staring at the impossible thread connecting him to the woman he's been desperately trying not to admit he's fallen in love with.

2025

6:00 PM

PTMC, CENTRAL WORK AREA — DAY

The emergency department shifts from busy to catastrophic in less than thirty seconds. One moment, people are charting the next—every television screen in the department lights up with breaking news.

There’s an active shooter at PittFest—mass casualty incident. Every healthcare worker in the room recognizes it instantly. The moment before impact… before disaster arrives.

"Hey, what's going on?" McKay asks.

Robby strides into Central, already moving and planning. Carrying the weight of what is coming. "Mass casualty at PittFest."

Samira looks up sharply, "How many victims?"

"We don't know." Robby's face is grim. "Expect the worst.” A terrible silence settles, while someone else immediately reaches for a phone. "Did the police find David?" McKay asks. Robby shakes his head, then raises his voice, "Okay, everybody, listen up."

Every head turns to pay attention to Robby.

"There is an active shooter at PittFest. As the nearest trauma center, we are going to be getting the majority of the victims." The room goes completely still. "We don't know yet how many we're getting, but we are instituting hospital-wide emergency protocols. We need to move every patient out of here. Either home, upstairs, or Family Medicine. Call your loved ones now if you need to."

Robby glances toward the windows, toward the city. Towards the disaster unfolding somewhere beyond it. "I can guarantee cell service will soon be overwhelmed. Eat something. Stay hydrated. Use the bathroom while there's time and meet back here for a full briefing in five minutes."

Then his gaze lands on someone entering through the ambulance bay doors, relief flashes across his face. 

"Brother." Robby exhales. "I'm so fucking glad to see you." Jack, carrying his backpack and wearing his black scrubs, briefly hugs Robby, "Heard it on the scanner."

Jack drops his bag onto a workstation. "How many are we expecting?"

"I don't know." Robby's expression darkens. "But it doesn't sound good."

After placing his things down, Jack looks up directly at you. The breath leaves your lungs. Already focused entirely on you.

Your stomach drops. Oh no. No. No. No. He knows. The realization slams into you so hard it feels physical. You don't know how or when. But something in his expression tells you immediately.

He knows about the string—your secret. The thing you've spent seven years burying. Your pulse begins hammering, and blood rushes up to your ears. Across Central, Jack doesn't look away; his jaw flexes, hard, angry. You know that look—you've seen it directed at negligent parents, reckless drivers, people who made choices that hurt others.

Five minutes. That's all you have before the briefing. Before the entire hospital erupts into chaos. Apparently five minutes is all Jack needs. The second he catches you alone, a hand closes firmly around your elbow. "Lifeline." You freeze, your heart immediately dropping into your stomach. "Jack—"

"We need to talk." The words come out low and controlled. He steers you toward an empty supply room. A narrow space lined with IV fluids and sterile procedure kits. The door swings shut behind you, and the silence is deafening.

You turn toward him, trying to keep your face neutral, and completely fall apart. "What's going on?" The question sounds pathetic even to your own ears. Jack stares, and for a moment, he says nothing. Which makes everything worse, because his eyes are furious.

Furious at being hurt and at being lied to. At realizing something important happened without him knowing. His jaw clenches, "You knew." Your vision immediately blurs, "Jack—"

"You knew." The repetition is softer, devastated. You feel your tears threatening already.

"Don't." Your voice cracks. "Don't look at me like that." Something flashes across his face—pain, but then anger returns to cover it. "So what was the plan?" His words come out sharp. 

"Jack—"

"What?" His voice rises, years of confusion finally boiling over. "What were you doing?"

You flinch, and Jack immediately hates himself for it, but he can't stop, not now. "Were you just waiting?" The accusation hangs between you, ugly, unfair, and born entirely from hurt. "Were you waiting for your chance?"

Your eyes widen as the tears come instantly, and suddenly you're angry too. Years of restraint snap all at once.

"No." The word echoes off the walls. "No." You step toward him, furious, heartbroken, and shaking. 

"I buried it." Your voice breaks. "I buried every part of it." Jack freezes as you keep going, "You don't get to stand there and act like I wanted this." The tears are falling freely now. It’s hot and humiliating. "I buried every chance of loving you so deep I could barely breathe around it."

The room goes silent as Jack stares while you choke on the next words, because they're true, every single one. "I buried my wanting for you." Your voice cracks again. "And don't you dare accuse me of waiting." The anger disappears, leaving only raw, ancient grief. "You don't get to accuse me of that when I respected it."

Jack's face changes back to confusion and regret. But you're not finished, "I respected her." The words nearly destroy you while you wipe at your face, failing miserably. "I respected both of you."

A photograph flashes through your mind. Then she laughed in the department, bringing Jack lunch, loving him. Being loved by him, the woman you'd genuinely cared about. The woman who had never done anything except be kind to you.

"She was brilliant." You laugh bitterly as another tear slips free. "Beautiful. And I knew I'd never measure up."

Jack physically recoils, as if you'd struck him. "What?" The word comes out strangled. You look away because you can't bear seeing his face. "I know that."

"No." Pain flashes across his expression. "No, you don't." You laugh again, broken, "I do." Then quietly, you add, "The first time I saw the end of the string." Jack goes completely still at your admission.

"The first time I saw it unfinished." Your voice drops, barely above a whisper. "I knew I was going to lose you either way."

Silence—absolute silence. Jack feels like the floor has vanished beneath him, because suddenly, he understands. All those years, smiles, retreats, your careful boundaries. How you'd chosen distance instead of possibility. You weren't waiting. You were grieving the entire time.

The supply room door suddenly swings open, and Robby appears, already halfway through speaking. "Abbot, I need—"

Then he stops, immediately, because you're crying, and Jack looks wrecked. The tension in the room is thick enough to choke on.

"...Whoa." Robby looks between both of you a few times, then decides he absolutely does not want whatever this is. "What the hell is—"

You move first, past Robby and Jack. Past all of it. Your shoulder brushes the doorframe as you leave. You don't stop, and can’t look back. Because if you do, you'll fall apart. While Jack just stands there, watching you go, understanding too late. For the first time in seven years, understanding exactly how much it must have hurt. Then, somewhere outside the room—an overhead page sounds. The first ambulances are arriving, signaling that the mass casualty has begun. However, the conversation isn't over. Not even close.

7:00 PM

CENTRAL WORK AREA — NIGHT

All at once, the emergency department is already overflowing. Trauma bays filled, hallways lined with stretchers, and blood smeared across floors that Environmental Services doesn't have time to clean. The overhead speakers haven't stopped paging for nearly twenty minutes. Victims keep coming. Gunshot wounds, shrapnel injuries, and crush injuries from the stampede that followed.

The air feels thick with adrenaline and fear. Every single person in the department is running on instinct, training, and experience.

You haven't looked at Jack since the supply room, not really. You can feel him occasionally, like a gravitational force somewhere at the edge of your awareness. A pull you refuse to acknowledge. Every time your eyes accidentally find his across Central, you immediately look away. You don't have the luxury of falling apart right now, because people are dying, you know that, and so does Jack.

So, whatever happened between you has been shoved aside by necessity.

"Let's go!" Langdon's voice cuts through the noise. Another victim on a gurney in Central. Male, approximately late twenties, multiple injuries, semi-conscious, and blood soaking through his shirt. Samira immediately moves to the stretcher, "Who do you have?"

"Semi-conscious. Responds only to pain. Decent carotid."

"Strip him." Mateo reaches for trauma shears, and so does Tim, "Let's go." The team descends immediately, beginning to cut clothing, assessing injuries, checking his airway, and breathing. Everything is moving with practiced efficiency. Then—something feels wrong. You don't know why, it’s just a feeling. A prickling sensation along the back of your neck.

The patient suddenly jerks, and the nurses yelp. A hand disappears beneath the shredded remains of his shirt. Langdon freezes, then shouts. "Whoa!" Everything happens at once.

"Gun!" The word detonates through Central. "Gun! He's going for his gun!"

Every person in the room reacts instantly; some hit the floor, and others dive behind workstations. The patient somehow manages to yank a handgun free. His eyes are wild, disoriented, and terrified. The muzzle swings wildly across the room and lands directly toward Robby and Jack.

Time slows for you as you watch. Later, you'll never be able to explain why you moved, whether it was instinct, training, love… or something much darker. A part of you wonders if maybe you were simply tired—tired of carrying this, of loving him, maybe of being afraid. You never figure it out, because your body moves before your brain does.

One second, you're standing near Central, the next you're running.

The gun fires, and the sound is deafening. A violent crack that echoes through the department. For one suspended moment—nobody moves or breathes. Then pain explodes through you, white-hot, blinding.

You stagger as your knees immediately buckle while the floor rushes upward. Somewhere nearby, people are screaming while others are shouting for security. The world becomes noise, blurred shapes, blood—too much blood. Then, you hear Jack scream your name, and it tears straight out of him. Raw, animal, nothing like you've ever heard before. The resident beside him barely has time to react before Jack is already moving. He’s running—ignoring everyone and everything. None of it matters, not anymore. Because you're on the floor, and you're bleeding. Suddenly, the worst thing Jack has ever imagined is happening right in front of him.Again.

He drops to his knees beside you, not caring that his stump is aching, hands immediately searching, assessing, locating the wound, trying to stop the bleeding while SWAT restrains the man who shot you. His trauma training takes over automatically, even while the rest of him is breaking apart.

"Pressure!" Somebody throws him gauze, Jack slams it hard against the wound. Too much blood—so much fucking blood, and the sight makes his stomach turn. "No."

Your vision swims, and you can barely focus. But somehow—somehow—Jack is all you see. Always him, maybe it was always going to be him. His face is pale, terrified—more terrified than you've ever seen him, and somehow that hurts worse than the bullet.

You manage a weak laugh, and blood touches your lips. Jack immediately hates the sound, "Don't." Your eyes find his, and for the first time in years, you stop hiding. "It was painful."

Jack freezes, "Lifeline—"

"When you looked at me." Your voice trembles, blood continues soaking through the gauze. "When you smiled at me."

"No." His hands shake, just slightly, but you feel it. "When you believed in me." Tears blur your vision. "It hurt."

Jack's face completely crumples because now he understands all of it.

"It tore me apart." The words barely make it out, and an unfiltered sob escapes him. Because you're dying, and he just found you. He spent seven years standing beside you without seeing it. "No." His voice breaks. "No, no, no."

Someone is calling for Trauma One and bringing a stretcher. The department is moving around him. But Jack doesn't care, because the world has narrowed to you—only you.

"I just got you." The words rip from his throat, his eyes shine, desperate, furious, and every bit terrified. "I just got you." Your breath catches. You love him, you always will. So maybe—maybe honesty won't kill you now. "I love you."

Jack closes his eyes, as if the words physically hurt. You smile weakly, doubling down, "I love you, Jack Abbot."

Silence for a moment, then, firmly, "No." The answer comes instantly, violently, as if he's rejecting reality itself. "No." His forehead presses briefly against yours. "You're not doing this."

Tears slide down his face, but he doesn't even notice. "You hear me?" His voice cracks. "You're not doing this to me."

The stretcher arrives, and Robby appears, blood on his gloves. Panic hidden beneath professionalism. "Jack." Nothing… Jack doesn't move. "Jack." Still nothing.

"Abbot!" Finally, Jack looks up, and Robby immediately understands. Oh. Oh no. "We need Trauma One." Robby's voice softens. "Now."

Jack nods once, then helps lift you onto the stretcher himself. Refuses to let go or step away. He refuses to leave your side as they race down the hallway. Trauma One is already being prepared. Blood products, thoracotomy tray, massive transfusion protocol—Everything and anything. Whatever it takes.

Dana meets them at the door, and one look at Jack's face tells her everything, every awful piece of it. "Oh, honey." Jack doesn't even hear her; his eyes never leave you, not once. Dana steps close, careful. "Jack." No response from him, so she tries again, "You need to let them work."

His jaw tightens, "No."

"Jack."

"No." His voice breaks again. Because he knows—he knows exactly how bad this is. Knows every possible complication, terrible outcome, and statistic. Every nightmare, and he cannot survive another one. Not you, God, please, especially not after all this—after finally finding you.

The trauma team begins crowding around the bed. Voices overlap, orders fly, blood pressure dropping, airway concerns, surgical consult from Garcia, massive transfusion. Yet, Jack refuses to move, standing beside your stretcher, his hand wrapped around yours. As if letting go might somehow allow death to take you, or sheer stubbornness can keep you here.

As if love might finally be enough this time around.

PTMC, ICU — DAY

The surgery lasts hours—too many hours, long enough for the adrenaline to burn away, and for exhaustion to settle into everyone's bones. Long enough for Jack to memorize every crack in the ICU waiting room floor.

The bullet had done catastrophic damage. A through-and-through gunshot wound with massive internal bleeding. Multiple units of blood transfused. Emergency surgery. Complications halfway through that had nearly sent the entire operating room into a panic. At one point, Robby had physically forced Jack to sit down because he looked seconds away from collapsing. Jack couldn't remember most of it afterward, only fragments. Your blood on his hands. Your voice. I love you, Jack Abbot.

The terror of watching your blood pressure disappear from the monitor. The awful realization that he might lose you before he'd ever gotten the chance to tell you—I love you too. But somehow, you survive. The surgeons manage to stop the bleeding and repair the damage. They brought you back. It feels less like medicine and more like a miracle. 

Three days later, you're still asleep, intubated, and hooked to enough machines to make the room hum softly around you. But you're alive, and right now, that's enough.

Jack hasn't left at all. Dana, Robby, Lena, and even Whitaker—all of them fail. Because every time someone tells him to go home, he looks at you lying in that hospital bed and refuses. The man is impossible when he decides on something, and he decided he was staying.

So he stays, wearing scrubs more often than not. Surviving almost entirely on hospital coffee and vending machine food, and sleeping in the uncomfortable chair beside your bed. If you could see him, you'd probably yell at him. Tell him he's being ridiculous, and that he should shower. To stop looking like a man who personally lost a fight against a tornado. Unfortunately, you're unconscious, which means nobody can stop him.

The red string remains, that impossible thread winding around his wrist before disappearing into yours, completely visible now. Neither of you is hiding anymore. Sometimes Jack simply stares at it, as if he's afraid it'll disappear—a chance he'll wake up and discover this was some cruel fever dream. Because for years he believed he'd had his soulmate, then he lost her. And now—now the universe has somehow handed him another sacred thing. A second chance he never expected. One he's terrified of losing before it even begins.

The ICU room is quiet that afternoon as sunlight spills through the window. Your face is pale against the white pillow. Your hair is messy, and there's bruising along your neck from procedures, tape securing lines, and dressings. Evidence of how close death came for you. Jack reaches forward, his fingers brushing gently through your hair. The movement reverent, as if touching something precious. Something fragile and almost lost.

His thumb traces softly across your cheek. "You scared the hell out of me." His voice is rough, sleep-deprived, and broken around the edges. You don't answer, but that never stops him.

The door opens quietly as Robby steps inside, coffee in one hand and concern written all over his face. He pauses immediately, taking in the scene. Jack slumped beside your bed, wearing his scrubs, faintly stained with blood—your blood. His hand wrapped around yours, and the red string was visible between them. For a moment, Robby says nothing, simply watches. Understanding settling over him piece by piece. Then finally, he asks, "How's she doing?"

Jack glances up. His eyes are bloodshot and exhausted. "Stable." The word comes out cautious. Because saying it too loudly might somehow jinx everything.

Robby nods, steps closer, looking down at you, at the monitors, then at Jack. A realization flickers across his face. "Is she also..." His voice softens. "...your soulmate?"

The question hangs quietly between them, and Jack's gaze immediately drops to your hand. To the red thread wrapped around both wrists. He can't speak for a little while, then he nods once. 

"I think so." The words sound ridiculous even now. "I didn't think..." His voice catches as he looks down at you. At the woman he'd spent seven years loving without understanding why it felt different. Not understanding why losing your friendship hurt more than it should, or why seeing you happy mattered so much. Why he'd kept showing up, again and again. "I didn't think it was possible."

The rRobby remains silent, letting him continue as Jack swallows. "I didn't think it would happen to me." The confession comes out almost embarrassed—he's admitting something shameful. Robby exhales slowly, nods. "There've been a few reports."

Jack glances up.

"A few studies." Robby shrugs. "The theory is that some soulmate bonds don't form immediately." His eyes drift toward the red string, toward your intertwined hands. "Sometimes they form after loss."

The room falls quiet, neither of them says the obvious thing. That his late had been Jack's soulmate too, and loving her had been real, complete, and true. That none of this erased her.

Jack looks back at your sleeping face, the rise and fall of your chest, and the steady rhythm on the monitor. Alive and still here. His fingers slide gently through your hair again, careful not to disturb anything, as his hand cups your cheek. The gesture impossibly tender. Robby immediately looks away, because some moments aren't meant for witnesses.

Jack leans forward, pressing a kiss against your forehead, lingering there for a second, eyes closed and relieved. Terrified and very in love. When he finally pulls back, his thumb brushes across your skin. And for the first time since the shooting, a small smile appears. Fragile, hopeful, like he's allowing himself to believe it. Just a little.

"Come back to me, Lifeline." His voice is barely above a whisper. The red string glows softly between your wrists, and Jack squeezes your hand gently, as if you're already listening. As if somewhere beneath the machines and medications and healing wounds, you can hear him. Maybe, for the first time in a very long time, he isn't asking fate for anything. He's only asking for you.

PTMC, ICU — DAY

The first thing you become aware of is discomfort, not pain, well, not yet anyway, just wrongness. A strange pressure lodged in your throat—something foreign. Your eyelids feel impossibly heavy, as if someone glued them shut. The effort required to open them feels monumental. Slowly, painstakingly—you manage it, and the world arrives in fragments. White ceiling, muted sunlight, the rhythmic beeping of monitors, and the steady hiss of oxygen.

A hospital room—your hospital room, and immediately your nursing brain starts putting pieces together. ICU, you're in the ICU, which means—Oh. Oh no, the shooting. Memory crashes back all at once: the gun, Jack, blood, Trauma One. I love you, Jack Abbot.

Your eyes widen immediately as panic flares. Because there is definitely a tube down your throat, a ventilator tube, and suddenly every survival instinct in your body starts screaming. You try to move—a mistake, as pain explodes through your abdomen. Pain that says somebody has spent several hours trying very hard to keep you alive. A strangled sound leaves you; your heart monitor immediately speeds up.

Then you feel it, a hand, wrapped around yours. You turn your head, slowly, and there he is… Jack. Curled awkwardly in the chair beside your bed, wearing his black scrubs, asleep. His head was resting against folded arms near your mattress, one hand tangled with yours, the red string winding quietly between your wrists. For a moment, you just stare because he looks awful. His curls are a mess, dark circles shadow his eyes, his jaw is covered in stubble, his scrubs are wrinkled because he hasn't slept properly in days, and he hasn't left. This whole time, he stayed. Your fingers twitch, weakly, barely enough movement to count. Then you squeeze his hand.

Jack jerks awake instantly, years of emergency medicine, and years of sleeping lightly. His head snaps upward, disoriented and confused. Then his eyes land on yours, and the entire world stops. For a moment, he doesn't move or breathe. Doesn't seem capable of either. He just stares, afraid you're another dream, or another hallucination born from exhaustion.

"Hey." The word comes out rough, barely audible, and your eyes immediately fill with tears. Because he's crying, relief floods his face so quickly it looks painful. His hand tightens around yours.

"My Lifeline." His voice cracks completely, and suddenly, tears are sliding down his cheeks, unashamed. Jack laughs once, a choked sound halfway between a sob and a prayer. "Oh, my God."

You try to answer, then immediately regret it, because the tube is still there. Panic spikes again. 

Jack notices instantly, "Hey." His hand cups the side of your face, gentle and grounding.  "Hey, hey." His thumb brushes your cheek, "You're okay." Your breathing becomes faster, the ventilator alarms immediately begin protesting. "You're okay." Jack is already reaching for the call button, never taking his eyes off you. "You're okay."

Within seconds, the room fills with people. Garcia arrives first. Followed by respiratory therapy, a nurse, and half the ICU, apparently. "Well, look at that." Garcia's grin is immediate. "About time." 

You want to roll your eyes, but unfortunately, you still have a breathing tube. The respiratory therapist immediately begins assessing and following commands. Checking your neurological status. Making sure you're strong enough for extubation. You squeeze hands, follow fingers with your eyes, nod appropriately. All while Jack hovers nearby. Trying desperately not to interfere, and failing miserably.

"She's ready." The therapist glances toward Garcia, and then Garcia nods. "Let's do it."

Jack immediately moves closer, instinctively. Like he physically cannot help himself. The ventilator disconnects, the securing device is removed, and the respiratory therapist gives instructions. You barely hear any of them; your entire focus is on the tube. Then—it's out. Immediately, you cough violently because your throat burns. Every breath feels strange and uncomfortable, but you're breathing on your own.

Jack is already helping support you upright, one arm behind your shoulders, the other holding a cup with ice chips. "Easy." His voice is impossibly soft. "Slow down."

You cough again, eyes watering. Jack looks ready to fight somebody on your behalf. Possibly the tube or the entire ICU. Eventually, the coughing settles enough for you to breathe comfortably, and the monitors stabilize, everyone visibly relaxing.

Garcia steps forward, professional mode fully activated. "Okay. The surgery went well." She begins carefully. "You sustained a gunshot wound to the abdomen." Jack's jaw tightens visibly as she continues,  "There was significant internal bleeding." Garcia continues. "We had to perform an emergency exploratory laparotomy."

Your nurse brain immediately fills in blanks, searching for damage, complications, and probabilities. Garcia notices this and says, "We repaired injuries to your small bowel and controlled several bleeding vessels."

Your stomach drops. 

Jesus.

"You required multiple transfusions." Garcia continues. "But you're stable now."

Stable—the most beautiful word in medicine. You glance toward Jack; he's staring at the floor, hearing the details physically hurts. Garcia notices that, too, a tiny smile appears. One that says she understands far more than she's commenting on.

"Recovery's going to suck." You manage a weak laugh; the sound comes out raspy. Garcia points immediately. "There she is. Don't make me regret taking that tube out."

For the first time since waking, you actually smile. Garcia gathers her chart and steps toward the door, then pauses, looking between you. Then Jack, the red string, then back again.

"Oh." A knowing expression crosses her face. "Right."

Jack immediately looks uncomfortable, which is almost impressive considering everything that's happened.

Garcia grins. "Try not to stress her out." Then she points at you. "And try not to get shot again."

The door closes behind her, and the room suddenly feels much quieter. Much smaller and more intimate. Silence settles; neither of you quite knows what to say. Because there are too many things, seven years' worth.

Jack remains seated beside the bed, his hand never leaving yours, not once. He's afraid the second he lets go, you'll disappear again.

Your throat hurts—everything hurts, but somehow none of it matters right now. Because Jack is looking at you, really looking at you, and there are tears still caught in his eyelashes. Evidence of how terrified he'd been, your fingers tighten weakly around his. "Hi." The word comes out hoarse, barely audible. A wet laugh escapes him, disbelieving, and relieved. "Hi."

His thumb brushes across your knuckles, again and again. As if he needs the contact—he needs proof. Then Jack lowers his head, pressing his forehead gently against your joined hands, his eyes closing. Breathing shakily, and in that moment, you realize he was just as afraid of losing you as you'd always been of losing him.

Finally, Jack swallows hard, then asks quietly, "How long?" You know exactly what he means, not the shooting or the string. All of it. You stare down at your intertwined hands. At the red thread winding around both wrists, then back at him, and answer honestly. "Since my first day.”

Jack blinks, once and twice. He genuinely thought he'd misheard you, "Your first day?" You nod, a sad laugh escaping. "Yeah."

His mouth opens, then closes, and opens again. The physician in him is clearly attempting to process impossible information. Unfortunately for him, he's currently operating as a man in love, not a doctor, which means none of this is going well.

"Seven years?" The words come out strangled, and you give a tiny nod. Jack leans back in his chair, looking dizzy. "Jesus Christ."

A weak laugh escapes you. "That was more or less my reaction too." His hand tightens around yours to reassure himself.

"Why didn't you tell me?" The question is quiet, not accusing anymore, only hurt. He’s trying to understand. You look away first, toward the window. Because this part is harder. "You were married." The words are simple, obvious, and true, Jack's expression immediately softens. 

"You loved her." You smile sadly. "Of course you did." Because he had, you'd seen it, every day, in every smile or phone call, at the mere mention of her. 

"I wasn't going to be the woman who showed up and destroyed that." Your voice trembles. "I couldn't. It's why I never said anything." A tear slips free, and you don't bother wiping it away. 

"I respected her too much." Your laugh cracks. "And honestly?" You finally look at him, unwaveringly, you admit, "I loved you too much.” Jack closes his eyes, processing the truth of it all. "I knew you were happy." You smile weakly. "I thought… I thought if I couldn't be the person you loved, then I'd settle for being someone you trusted."

Jack stares at you, completely speechless. Suddenly, every memory makes sense, every retreat or careful boundary. You chose distance over possibility. You weren't waiting. You weren't hoping for his wife to die. Goddamit. The thought makes him sick now. You were protecting him—protecting both of them, at the expense of yourself, for seven years.

"That's insane." The words slip out before he can stop them. You blink, offended. "Excuse me?" Jack actually laughs, a wet, exhausted sound. "You loved me for seven years."

"You make it sound like a disease." You frowned.

"It kind of is."

You point weakly, "I got shot."

"Exactly." For the first time since waking up—you both laugh. The sound fades slowly, leaving only the truth behind. Jack shifts closer, his chair scrapes softly against the floor, until he's sitting right beside the bed, close to you, so that there's nowhere left to hide.

"I need you to understand something." His voice lowers, gentler now, and more vulnerable than you've ever heard it. Jack looks down briefly, then back up. "She was my soulmate." The words settle softly between you, simply true and not at all cruel. You nod, because you know—you've always known.

"I loved her." His eyes shine, "I'll always love her."

You squeeze his hand, "I know." Jack exhales shakily, then continues, "But somewhere along the way..." His voice falters, and you can’t recall if you've ever seen him this scared. His thumb brushes your cheek, the same way it did the night you almost died. "You became my favorite part of the day. The first person I wanted to talk to." Another stroke of his thumb. "The person I looked for first." His eyes never leave yours. "And when you started avoiding me..."

He laughs once, humorless and every bit painful. "It felt like somebody was ripping pieces off me." The confession steals the air from your lungs, and Jack leans forward slightly, and your heart starts racing.

"I thought I was losing my mind." A tiny smile appears at the corners of his mouth. "Turns out I was just in love with you."

Everything disappears—leaving just him and tears blur your vision instantly.

"Oh." It's all you can manage. Jack smiles, soft, beautiful, it’s entirely his. "Yeah."

Suddenly, you're crying. Because after seven years—after all that grief and silence and fear—he chose you. Not because of the string or fate. Or because destiny told him to. But because he loved you.

"You idiot." Your words wobble and Jack laughs, "I know."

"You absolute idiot."

"I've been told."

You laugh through your tears, and somehow, he wipes them away before they can fall. The gentlest touch imaginable, as if you're something precious. Then his forehead rests against yours, and neither of you speaks. You don't need to. The red string glows softly between your wrists, a silent witness, and for the first time—it doesn't feel like a chain. It feels like a beginning.

Jack's gaze drops briefly to your mouth, then immediately back to your eyes. Giving you every opportunity to stop him. Every opportunity to say no. You don't. Not even a little.

So, he kisses you, softly, as if you're something holy. Something he spent seven years searching for without realizing it. His hand cups your cheek, while yours finds his wrist. Right where the string wraps around him, the kiss is gentle and tender. A promise rather than a fire.

When he finally pulls back, neither of you moves very far, foreheads touching, breathing the same air. Jack smiles, the kind of smile you've spent years secretly collecting. "Hi."

A laugh escapes you, "Hi." Then his eyes soften, filled with something warm enough to last a lifetime. "There you are."

After seven years of loving him in silence—you finally get to stay.

End Notes:

Where do I even begin? This idea has been cooking in my head for MONTHS. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how I wanted this story to go. But then you know how things just suddenly click and fall into place? That’s exactly what happened.

It was absolutely euphoric—once I got the plot beats down, I just couldn’t stop writing lol.

I wanted you, the reader, to know how much you respected Jack’s wife and that you weren’t trying to replace her.

Also.. do you get it? Lifeline = Line = String…. Ha ha ha. You are his Line…

Everyone blame Noah Kahan for making me cry to Orbiter.

LOWKEY, wasn’t expecting a lot of people to read this… 

Taglist: @gennywennypenny @kneelforloki @unknownhuman102 @thebewitchingvagabond @danah-20 @i-do-not-care-bear @nerdgirljen @silksepia @rathatosy @proudlyvastlake @coconuthoneyandjaguars @acciotwinz @thefemininemystiquee @rei-scorpio @buckystwilight

Real heartbreak occurs quietly. It chips at you slowly; small cracks at first until you can no longer ignore the gaping wound in your chest. The missing center behind your ribcage. By the time you realize what has happened, the hole is too big to fill. The chasm impossible to bridge. They don’t tell you that it sneaks up on you, the curl of a cold-blooded snake around your neck that restricts your ability to breathe, to function. It hisses in your ear, a gentle whisper that only gets louder when the puncture isn’t tended to. 

Before you know it, the serpent has bared its teeth and sunk its poison into you. 

You didn’t think you would experience heartbreak with Dick Grayson. The man is loyal, loving. He anticipates your needs before you can even determine what’s missing. Raised to be observant and thoughtful, Dick is a fierce protector of those he cares about. You happen to be lucky enough to be one of them. 

You’ve seen how he is with his family, his friends, the people that he chooses to protect with his body, mind, and soul. There is not a thing he wouldn’t do to keep those he cherishes safe, even if it means sacrificing himself. 

Because of all this, Dick has to juggle one too many priorities. Not only are they things he already planned on doing, but he also has to account for the emergencies that crop up from time to time. Given that this is Blüdhaven, time to time means all the time. 

You’re used to it. Coming in second, that is. 

Your relationship with Dick is relatively new. Your dates aren’t life or death. So when he has to up and leave in the middle of dinner, it’s something you’ve grown accustomed to. The moment his phone vibrates on the table, you set your expectations. 

The first vibration, he ignores. 

The second one, his eyes flick down to his device before he refocuses on you.

Third time’s the charm. “Sorry,” he says sheepishly after you finish recounting your day. “Let me just check and make sure it isn’t anything urgent.”

But you already know the answer to that. It’s always urgent. It’s the city. You can’t blame him for it. Corruption is the norm in Blüdhaven; it bleeds through every crack and corner. From the police commissioner to the mayor, to the elites. Dick is ambitious, he thinks he can rid the city completely of its decrepit moral compass. 

The flicker of guilt that passes through his baby blues is the first sign. Then comes the sour curl of his lips when he realizes that he can’t disregard the threat alert from Oracle. Then comes the sympathetic look when he finally turns back to you. 

It’s that look that you can’t stand. That’s the one that always gets to you. Because you don’t want him to pity you. 

So you plaster a smile onto your lips and nod. “Go. The city needs you.”

Apologies automatically fall from his lips as he places a chaste kiss on your forehead, presses his credit card into your hands, and takes off. His dinner sits cold on the pristine white tablecloth. 

And you wonder if there will ever come a time when Blüdhaven will no longer need Nightwing. Or Dick Grayson. 

Maybe then you’ll have a chance at coming first. 

In his defense — and perhaps it comes from months of making excuses first for him as a friend and then as a lover, he does try. He tries to make time for you, slipping you into the little gaps he has in between investigations, philanthropic work, and patrols. It’s how you met him in the first place. 

Your job at the community center allowed you some governmental access which you used to help him take down a few bad apples in the mayor’s office. Small-time fry. But then he started doing more work for the people, building affordable housing and programming to help the city’s children, and you started seeing more of this elusive Dick Grayson. 

At first, you had been starstruck. The man is renowned all throughout the city — a savior to the good, a menace to the bad. The more time you spend with him, the more you learn about the Dick that he doesn’t show to the outside world. 

It’s the man who is weary down to the bone, cutting off one evil head only for two more to grow. It’s the man who bears the city’s burdens on his shoulders, carrying the weight of a million expectations with the limited resources that he has. It’s the man who slinks back into your arms after a long day and curls himself around you like it’s the only place he is meant to be. 

Falling in love with Dick had been all too easy. It’s like taking a nosedive off a cliff, knowing you’ll land in a wide-open ocean with a life jacket. 

When you find out that he also spends his nights as the masked hero Nightwing, he had been wary of how you would react. It’s ridiculous to think that you would feel anything other than pride when you see him in full gear for the first time. 

For some reason, Dick feels… further once you learn this fact. He already felt unattainable before —untouchable — as this generous, intelligent billionaire, heir to the famous Wayne family. Now that you know he is also a crime-fighting superhero, you feel those buried feelings of insecurity rise to the surface. The creeping voices clawing into your skin to question how you could ever be an adequate partner for him. 

How could you — someone so normal, so average — compare to the living legend Dick Grayson?

Of course, once the Nightwing gates are open, you also see the people he surrounds himself with. Martians. Kryptonians. Shapeshifters. Trained assassins. And Barbara Gordon — how do you even begin to describe Barbara Gordon?

Between Kori and Barbara, you were convinced that Dick had a thing for redheads. Dick reassured you that he really didn’t have a particular preference. No, no preference in terms of hair, but you can clearly see the pattern — all of his exes are skillful. Powerful. Hot.  

Gorgeous in a way that takes your breath away. Not only that, they’re fierce and bold and intelligent. They are out there saving the world day in and day out, whether it’s through ultraviolet energy projections or hacking into the most secure servers on the planet. 

That monster inside of you peeks around the corner with its talons out, ready to pierce through your fragile heart once more. You hate yourself for even thinking this way. It’s part of his job, these are his friends. You should feel lucky that you were even introduced to them. 

But that feeling has taken root and consumed your heart. Insufficient. Inadequate. Incapable. Who are you compared to all this greatness? 

It’s why you keep your head down, why you keep your mouth shut even as the fissures begin to appear in your heart. You disregard them, brush them off as a temporary blip in your confidence. You tell yourself that you’re lucky Dick’s even giving you the time of day. You can’t be another burden for him to bear. You should be making his life easier. 

So when he apologizes, you wave off his concern and tell him to go out there and save the world, Boy Wonder, because that’s what he does. The world comes first. You come second. It’s how it’s always been. It’s how it should be. 

The deeper you try to bury these feelings, these insecurities, the greater the cuts you slice inside your heart. You’re carving it out slowly, an excruciating process as you try to preserve what’s left of your emotions. 

Dick makes it up to you each time with flowers, with butterfly kisses, with the gentle touch of his hand. He promises you that next time will be better. He keeps his word. A few dates over the course of a few weeks, uninterrupted time, undivided attention. You’re on cloud nine by the time he drops you off at the doorstep, lingering for a fraction longer, enough time for you to invite him in to stay. 

He does. Every time. 

There are nights he returns to your side in uniform. His suit ripped, blood coating his skin crimson. These are times you’re reminded that he’s mortal. Human. You’re reminded that you could so easily lose him in all the work that he does. 

Nothing makes you feel more powerless than knowing that all you can do is help him tend to the aftermath. Your hands shake when you dab the antiseptic, when you wipe off all the red, when you wrap up the gauze around his body. 

You’re different from Barbara who guides him, who serves as his eyes and ears, and maps him a solution and exit each time. You’re different from Kori who fights alongside him with powers that he doesn’t have. You’re different from Bruce, Jason, Tim, and Damian, who know him in such intimate ways, moving in sync as he works through the city. 

You are someone watching from the sidelines. A character that could be so easily removed from his story, and nobody would blink twice. 

The thought pains you, but you suck it up and deal with it anyway. It’s easy to let these thoughts go when Dick murmurs saccharine sweet phrases into your neck. It’s easy to forget your place when he marks constellations across your body when he feels like having your company. 

You didn’t think it could get worse. You can only help. Right?

But you’re proven wrong the one time you’re all gathered at the Wayne Mansion. It’s a family dinner. The mood is light, the drinks are flowing, the food is delicious. Laughter ripples through the table and, for once, you aren’t overthinking your place at the table. 

That is, until an alarm sounds and everyone is immediately on high alert. They all seem to know what to do, whipping into action quickly while you sit there frozen. 

Dick gears up and then stiffens when he remembers you still at the dinner table, watching them all in awe and surprise. He looks at Alfred who is also preparing to help with the potential invasion of the mansion, then looks at you. “Stay here, okay? I’ll come get you when it’s safe.”

You open your mouth, ready to offer your assistance, but stop when you look around the room. How can you possibly even think about helping these heroes? They are the heroes of the story. You are the damsel in distress. 

“Okay,” is all you manage to say.

True to his word, Dick returns a few hours later. You’re right where he left you. He looks relieved to see you untouched, immediately coming up to you to inspect you. “Are you okay?”

Even when the worst is happening, his concern is on you. You’re adding more weight to his already hefty load. 

“I’m okay,” you reassure him. “Is everyone else okay?”

He softens and nods. “Yeah, they’re okay. Let’s get you home, yeah?” 

Dick’s kisses should’ve chased away those worries as they always have, but the feeling persists. It’s an itch you can’t scratch. An invisible scar you can’t heal. The feeling festers and grows, sprawling into this ugly hopelessness inside of you. 

It doesn’t disappear when Dick picks you up from work the next day, chattering on about the programs he is hoping to stand up with the help of the new mayor. 

It doesn’t disappear when the two of you run into Barbara outside of his apartment, telling him that there’s work to be done with Blockbuster.

It doesn’t disappear when Dick shoots you an apologetic look, asking for a rain check on your movie night — even when he’s already carrying the bags of popcorn and treats. 

The more you think about it, the more you consider where you stand with Dick. He’s already so busy with everything else. The last thing you want to be is another item on his checklist, another to-do to cross off. He already has enough on his plate, you don’t want to make it harder for him by adding another thing for him to complete. 

So you do what you thought was best. 

“I don’t think this is working out, Dick.”

Dick’s gaze falters, a shudder in his confidence. “What— why would you say that?”

“You’re very busy. You have a lot of things going on. I don’t think a relationship is a good idea right now.” Not for you, you add in your mind. This is for Dick, you remind yourself. This is to help him, the only way you know how. 

He’s quiet, lips pinched together as he frowns. The two of you were supposed to get lunch together, but you thought it best to sever it clean before the two of you sit down for what would likely be an awkward meal. So here you two are, standing in front of a restaurant. People mill about, barely paying you any mind. Some pause to look at Dick in admiration, but he is only looking at you. 

“Is this what you want?” His voice is lower when he asks this. 

No. But, of course, you don’t say that. 

“Yes. I think this is what’s best.”

A part of you wants him to resist, wants him to fight for you. That selfish part of you begs him to beg you to stay, to tell you that he wants this as much as you do. That he cares about you as much as you do him. 

But the responsible voice inside of you wants him to agree and walk away. 

Luckily – or not, he agrees with the latter. So the two of you hug and part ways. You walk away with shoulders held high and the tears streaming down your face. You don’t let him see it. You never want him to see it. 

And that’s the day you walked away from Dick Grayson.

It may be dramatic to say that there is your life before Dick and a life after him. You never thought you would ever consider romance to be the end-all-be-all of your life — and it isn’t. But Dick Grayson is something special, isn’t he? He isn’t just any romance. 

He is the romance. 

The type that sticks to you, a permanent fixture like he’s been tattooed and engraved into an everlasting mark on your skin. He clings to you like a persistent memory. No matter how many drinks you swallow, how many things you do to keep busy, you can’t seem to shake the thought of him when you’re alone.

The nights are the worst. The world inside your head is too quiet, even in a city like this one. Even when there are sirens blaring from every corner of your apartment and neon lights glare into your bedroom, you’re left to pick apart the decision you’ve made, constantly turning it over in your mind to determine whether it was the right one. 

There are nights when you find yourself reaching for your phone, your thumb hovering over his contact. It would be easy to call him, to ask for him back. You miss him, incredibly so. It would be so simple to send him a text saying as such. 

I miss you. What are you doing tonight?

Thinking of you, are you thinking of me?

I made a mistake. Will you have me again?

You try not to think about him, but the ask is akin to asking you not to breathe. Thinking about Dick comes naturally to you. It’s in the places you frequent, the ghost of him is the only constant lurking in the shadows. It’s the voice inside your head, calming you down when the city gets too much. It’s the absence that you feel the most — the sudden quiet when you don’t have him talking to you about his day, about his family, his friends, his ambition. The silence when he isn’t peppering you with follow-up questions about your week, sincerity and genuine curiosity entwined into his every syllable. 

And just as you’re swirling into this black hole, your phone lights up with an email reminder. A date the two of you were supposed to have. Movie tickets booked weeks ago because you had been so excited to see it, Dick had purchased the tickets immediately. With everything that has happened, you completely forgot to cancel it. 

However, instead of wallowing, you decide to go for it anyway. You’ve been cooped up in your home for too long, burying yourself under this mountain of self-despair. Quality time with your friends helped, but it didn’t cease the voices at night when you’re alone. 

The movie is good, it could’ve been better if you didn’t have this empty seat next to you. The theater is full and yet there is this one gap that sticks out like a sore thumb on opening night. Your mind is half on the movie and half imagining what it would be like to be here with Dick.

He would get popcorn ahead of time, with extra butter, just the way he knows you like it. He would get sweet tea, not cola, because he knows how you don’t like to pair bubbly drinks with airy snacks. He would let you hold onto the bucket and take it as an opportunity to reach closer to you whenever he grabs a handful, even sliding an arm around you to tuck you into his side. When the popcorn is gone, he would hold your hand, squeezing whenever he thinks you need the extra support. 

It’s an almost miserable experience. It’s pathetic how far gone you are for him that you can’t even enjoy time by yourself anymore.

But as they say, heartbreak is supposed to get easier with time. Eventually, you won’t remember what his touch felt like, the warmth of his body next to yours. You won’t think about him every time you pass by the basketball court he used to frequent to keep the neighborhood kids company. You won’t cry when you realize how many people you’ve gotten to know and lost in the process. You won’t think about him and you’ll remember that you can be perfectly content on your own again. 

You try not to fall under the weight of your worries as you step out of the theater. Everyone else filters out in pairs or groups, and you’re left standing there alone in the golden light that casts a glow across the rain-streaked sidewalk. You’re waiting for a cab. A cab that you will soon learn won’t find you. 

Not when you feel the breath down your neck.

“Aren’t you a pretty little bird?”

The unknown voice has you jumping, but not too far when a firm grip wraps around your bicep. Your eyes flash to betray your fear as you take in the masked assailant. He looks familiar, like a photograph hung somewhere in the back of your subconscious. Maybe one of Dick’s files that he tends to strew across your coffee table. 

“You’re Grayson’s girl. I’ve seen you around with him. Blockbuster’s going to want to see you.”

“I’m not— we’re not—” together, you want to say, but you don’t get a chance to finish your words when the man zaps you out cold. 

By the time you wake, there is a dull throbbing on your side where you’ve been electrocuted. The room smells of wastewater but looks relatively clean. You must be near the sewage plant. There is no one in the room and your eyes quickly dart around. What would Dick do in this moment? 

Your hands are tied up with a rope behind your back, feet against the legs of the chair. You systematically go through your surroundings. A shelf with all sorts of items. Books, random paraphernalia, and a glass bottle at the top. An idea pops up in your head, the films you watch finally coming in helpful; it might not be one that Dick approves, but he’s not here to scold you right now. 

Based on the distance and the weight of the chair, you scooch your way towards it. You use your shoulder to bump the shelf, rattling it with the little force you have. You can hear the bottle stumble a bit, but it’s not quite there yet.

Another hard push with your limited movement has it finally dropping on its side, rolling down the shelf until it lands, split in pieces, on the ground next to you. Now, you have to carefully drop yourself onto the floor, making sure you’re not getting the shards on your skin. There is no graceful way to do this, so you just tip yourself over. With your face pressed against the cold cement floor, your hands wriggle around behind you to grasp a piece of the glass, slicing the tip of your finger in the process, but at least you have this. 

Slowly, you use the jagged edge to cut through the rope. It’s an arduous process. The entire time, you’re praying that maybe — on the very off-chance — Dick is still keeping track of you. That he’ll notice your disappearance. Maybe he’ll come to your rescue. It’s a naive thought, but it’s the hope that you cling to.  

When your wrists are finally free, you get to work on your ankles. Another slice on your leg in your hurry to break free before your captors return. You don’t know where you are or how you plan to escape, but that tiny window looks promising. 

You’re halfway up the wall, standing on your chair, struggling to unlock the window when the front door swings open. You whip around and see the imposing figure duck into the room. Fuck. It’s Blockbuster. He is the man who’s been out for Dick’s blood for as long as you can remember. 

And now he has you, trapped in this room. His broad frame takes up nearly half the width of the space. You fiddle with the lock faster, praying for some miracle that you can escape in time. 

But the man doesn’t even give you a chance — his thick arms wrap around your torso before he lifts you up and throws you back onto the ground. If you didn’t know any better, you swear you hear bones cracking. The pain that shoots through you is fast, blistering, blinding. It’s hot-white and has your vision spotting. 

“Where do you think you’re going, pretty bird?” Blockbuster rumbles in vile amusement. “You’re not leaving this room. You’re not leaving this space until I get some answers.”

“Answers about what?” You spit out, the liquid coming out in a smattering of red on the grey floor. 

“Grayson. I want to know his weaknesses, his vulnerable points. I want to know everything there is to know about him to destroy him.”

The wide smile that stretches across his face has your stomach churning in disgust. He crouches on the floor, leans towards you, close enough that his platinum hair brushes against your face. 

“Or maybe you’re it. Maybe you’re his only weakness. Maybe I already have the pretty bird in my hands to take him down.”

“He’s not going to let you get away with this, or anything. He’s going to destroy you before you even come close to him.”

Blockbuster laughs, the sound booming. “This bird’s got claws. I can see why Grayson likes you. Don’t worry, pretty. I’ll break each one before you leave today. I’ll make sure you can’t sing for him anymore. I’ll make you squawk.” 

The threat settles in deep in your gut and your heart plummets six feet under. 

Then it begins. The beating, the brutalizing. You’re on the ground, against the wall, and flying through the air. Your face, your ribs, your hair, your legs, your arms. It goes on and on for what feels like hours. The only light you see is the one that hangs overhead, but even that begins to fade as your eyes struggle to stay open. Your chest heaves with heavy breaths, strained wheezes slipping past your lips in your desperate attempt to stay alive. The glass bits you were so adamant on avoiding before are now affixed to your skin like glitter. 

Your vision goes between white and red and pitch black. When you start to lose consciousness, he jolts you awake again. The only sounds ringing in your ear are his questions, now a jumbled blur of words, and a cacophony of foul laughter. 

You’ve never been religious but in those final moments, you pray. You pray for a savior. You pray that you’ll survive this. You pray that Dick doesn’t have to see you in your final moments.

Despite all that has happened, you like to hope that Dick still cares — and when Dick cares, you know he would live with this weight for the rest of his life. The last thing you want to leave him with is another burden to carry. 

Your ears start ringing from the abuse you’ve undergone. At some point, the pain no longer flares, it ebbs and flows as your body grows numb. Not a single part of you untouched. You don’t think the man even has questions anymore; he only takes ill gratification in the fact that he has destroyed something of Dick’s. 

You swear you hear a different voice, a different sound. No longer your screams or his laughter. A curse, a thud, a yell. Your brain can’t fully comprehend it, not when your senses can no longer be trusted. Not when they barely work. In the spread of red, you see glimpses of blue and black. 

You hear your name. You hear it before you feel a gentle touch, a brush that’s barely there on your head. 

Then it all goes black. 

“We need you to let her go. Sir, we are trying to help.”

“You don’t know what she’s gone through—”

“We will work to diagnose all her injuries. For now, we need you to let us do our jobs.”

“I’m surprised she’s still breathing. The damage she’s taken…”

“Let’s just get through this and let the family know.”

“Sir, this is family only—”

“I am her family,” Dick’s voice snaps back. You’ve never heard him raise his voice like that before. 

Then you hear someone else, more stern, still warm. Bruce. “If you’ll allow my son to stay with her, she doesn’t have family in the area. I’ll handle the paperwork, if you’ll lead me.”

“Sweet girl, I’m so sorry.”

“No, I’m not leaving.”

“Dick, you need to eat at least. You can’t help her like this.”

“I’m the reason she’s here to begin with. I’m not leaving her.”

“How’s she doing?” The deep baritone, you think it’s Bruce. 

Dick’s voice frays at the edges, like he’s barely keeping it together as he inhales. You can feel his eyes on you. “Better. Doctors think she’ll be fine but she doesn’t have the energy yet to be fully conscious.”

“She’s a strong one. She’ll be fine, Dick.”

A pause. You wonder how Dick looks, if he’s been eating— “I don’t think I can ever forgive myself if she isn’t.”

“I should’ve been there with her, you know. We bought those tickets weeks ago. I thought she refunded them when she broke up with me. Didn’t think she’d go alone to such a late showing.” 

A sigh. More high-pitched. Maybe Barbara. She’s been worried sick about him based on how many times she has come to visit. Her voice is more familiar than others. “You can’t blame yourself. You couldn’t have known that would happen.”

“It’s Blüdhaven, of course, something like this would happen. I should’ve expected this, that’s my entire job.” 

“Babs sent me here to deliver this. Can you please just eat first? Everyone’s worried about you.”

There’s the rustling of a plastic bag. You hope that Tim picked up Dick’s favorite Thai spot downtown, the one with the pad see ew he likes. Hopefully, that’ll cheer him up. “Thanks, but I’m good for now.”

“Dick, you’re not doing anyone any favors by punishing yourself. What would she say if she saw you like this, huh?”

“Well, she can’t really say anything now, can she? Because of me.”

“Stop blaming yourself. It’s Blockbuster’s fault. She wouldn’t want you to do this.”

“Should’ve been me in this bed.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. God, I’ll do anything — I’ll give up anything. Just please wake up. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t do this without you. I need you to wake up, pretty girl. Need to see those eyes again. Need you looking at me again.”

“I swear I’ll do better. I’ll work harder. Please. Don’t take her away from me.”

When your eyes finally flutter open, you feel as if it’s been years since you’ve seen the light. The bright fluorescent lamps above blind you as you groan and turn away. Crust nearly keeps your eyes shut but you reach up to brush them away, only to wince at the searing pain by your side.

“Hey, pretty girl, easy. Don’t move too fast. You’re hurt.” 

Dick. You slowly turn to the side to find him there. Then you briefly analyze your surroundings. 

White. All white. Hospital. The only splashes of color are in the flower arrangements sitting at the end of your bed. Large and wild. Alive. 

You’re alive. 

Christ, you’re alive. 

But Dick — he looks disheveled, the most you’ve ever seen him at least. There’s certainly more than a day’s worth of stubble peppering his jaw, his blue eyes shadowed by the circles surrounding them. His hair is a mussed-up mess, like he’s been running his hand through it nonstop for days. 

He’s fast to approach, gentle to touch. You swear you see the slight tremble in his fingertips as he brushes your hair away from your face. His eyes search yours, drinking you in like he is memorizing every inch of you. Old habits die hard, you suppose. He’s probably cataloging your injuries as if the doctor hasn’t done that already. 

“Hey, Dick,” you smile weakly, the stretch painful. Your throat feels dry, your voice comes out grainy. There’s a stiffness around your neck, which you soon realize is a brace. It hurts to breathe, let alone speak. “What day is it?”

Dick scrambles to grab the glass of water at your bedside table. He eases the rim between your lips, letting the cool liquid slowly pour between your chapped lips. “Easy, not too much. Not too fast,” he whispers, then adds, “Been four days.”

“Hmm, that’s a while, huh? Hope my boss doesn’t fire me for missing work that long. God knows we’re understaffed.”

Your attempt to laugh falls short when you feel the piercing twinge in your stomach, and it comes out as a raspy cough instead. 

Dick’s eyes widen and you shake your head to reassure him. You don’t like the way his forehead creases in concern, how dim his usually bright eyes are. Dick forces a smile at your poor endeavor at humor. “No, I’m sure you’ll be fine, sweetheart. Called in for you.”

“Good. What a waste of PTO though.”

“Sweet girl,” Dick breathes out, closer this time as he leans forward and presses his lips against your temple. You barely feel it, still slightly numb under the bandage wrapped around your head. His breath is shaky when he exhales. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I should’ve been there.”

You roll your eyes, but it only makes your head ache. “Don’t be silly. Why would you have been there? It wasn’t as if we had plans.”

“We were supposed to go together. We—” Dick chokes on his words as he sits on the chair next to your bed, bringing your hand up to his face and flattens the back of it against his cheek. “I’m sorry. I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am that I wasn’t there.”

“You were, Dick. You came for me. I knew you would.”

“I wasn’t fast enough.”

“You were as fast as you could be.”

“I didn’t get him. I wanted to, but you were there and you were hurt and I needed to get you to the hospital first. He escaped and—”

“You’ll get him next time.”

“I let you get hurt.”

“You didn’t do anything except save me.”

Dick’s lips quiver as he inhales again, as he looks at you. 

“I love you.”

Then you hear another sharp gasp. Yours. 

“I love you. I should’ve told you that a long time ago, pretty girl. I love you so much. I shouldn’t have let you walk away. I should’ve fought harder for you. I just— I thought you deserved better than me. Someone who could treasure you properly. Hopefully, someone who loves you as much as I do, even if I don’t think it’s possible.”

Your throat is tight. Whether it’s the tears or from the injuries you’ve sustained, you’re not entirely sure. Your question is only answered when you taste the saltiness on your tongue, your fingers reaching up to touch the wet mess rolling down your face. 

“But I can’t let you go. People think I’m selfless, but god — I’m so fucking selfish when it comes to you. Never want you to leave my side again. I want you close so I can protect you, keep you safe, love you proper. I want you to know how much you mean to me. I want to remind you of it every day. I took it for granted before, but never again. I love you. I’ll do it right this time, if you’ll let me. If you’ll still have me.”

“Dick…”

“God, look at me babbling away when you should be resting,” Dick huffs, disgruntled with himself. “I’m sorry. I’ll get the doctor. I should’ve done that first.”

“Stay.”

“I have to—”

You reach for his fingers again, intertwining them. It’s been a while since you’ve had his big hands up close. These hands always remind you that you’re safe, that you’re his. Gentle, a contradiction against the harsh touch of Blüdhaven. “Just for a little while.”

Dick glances between the door and your joint hands in conflict. He caves in to you, because — of course, he does. He’s never been one to deny you when you want to touch him. It’s his weakness. If Clark had his Kryptonite, he had you. 

“For a little bit,” he murmurs reluctantly, “but I want them to check on you right after this, okay? I have to make sure you’re good.” 

For a while, the two of you let the silence seep in. It wraps around you like a blanket, warm and steady. The worries of the past few days — even the past few weeks — seem to melt away as you let your eyes slide close once more, your head pressing back into the pillow. Dick’s fingers twitch in your hand and you give him a squeeze to assure him you’re okay. 

“I was scared,” you admit quietly. You can’t meet his eyes. Not for this. “I wasn’t scared of Blockbuster. I was scared of what would happen if you found me a minute too late. If I didn’t make it.”

“Wh— why would you be scared of that?”

“Because I know you’d blame yourself. You already have, even though you saved me. I didn’t want to be another weight to carry. Another burden on your shoulders.”

There is a fracture in Dick’s voice when he says your name. Like a prayer. Like a desperate plea. “You could never be a burden. I— I don’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t make it in time. I don’t even want to think about that.”

“Might make things easier for you,” you try to tease, but the joke lands bitter on your tongue. “One less thing to worry about. I guess I already was when I ended things.”

Dick is quiet for a moment, you can’t even hear him breathe. So you turn to look at him again, curious eyes finding his slumped shoulders. “Don’t even joke about that. That’s not something I’m entertaining. I’m never not worrying about you,” he mutters, “kept tabs on you even after you broke up with me. I wanted to make sure you always had someone looking out for you, even if it’s someone you didn’t care about anymore.”

You frown then. “Why would you think I don’t care about you?”

His head tilts in question then, brows furrowing. “Isn’t— I mean, isn’t that why you ended things? Because you weren’t interested in me anymore. I wasn’t a great boyfriend, I know that. I should’ve done more. That’s on me. I just thought, you… didn’t care about me anymore. Maybe you found someone else.”

“Dick, oh my— no, not at all. I just—” your teeth sink into your bottom lip, the truth hanging on the tip of your tongue but you refuse to let it slip. 

He looks at you with such earnest eyes, ones that urge you to continue. 

How can you say no to him? How could you think for one second you could let him go?

“I thought it would be easier for you, if we broke up,” you admit quietly and are immediately answered by the deepening of his frown, “you have so much going on. Between Nightwing, Blüdhaven and Gotham, and all the community outreach you were doing, it just didn’t seem like you had time for a relationship. It’s not as if I was helping you in any way, I can’t really do that. Not like the others. So I did what I thought was best.”

The look on Dick’s face now, you don’t think you ever want to see again. He looks absolutely crestfallen. His lips slightly parted, eyes carrying the sort of melancholy that comes after a loss. “You— fuck, you thought that breaking up would be easier for me? How can you— what would even make you think that? I know I’ve been busy and I haven’t been the best boyfriend, but god, you— you never made things harder. Ever. If anything, I feel so much lighter with you around. I feel as if I could breathe again. When this city chokes out the last of me, I know I’ll at least have you. And god, I wasn’t perfect, I was a terrible boyfriend, but you put up with me. I don’t know why you did for as long as you did, but— I didn’t know that’s how you felt with me. I wish you’d told me.”

A laugh of disbelief escapes him, rising from his chest with acid on his tongue. 

“You were always so patient. I thought— I thought that’s all you wanted from me. A few dates here and there. I didn’t want to ask more of you, didn’t want to scare you off. I can be intense, overwhelming. I know I can certainly be, and I didn’t want you to think I was being too demanding.” 

“Dick, you’re… unbelievable. Do you know how much I admire you? Everything that you do? Sometimes, I don’t know what you see in me. When you have all these incredible people around you, when you’re doing all these incredible things. I didn’t think I’d be… enough.”

Dick stands then, cupping your face in his hands. His eyes are wild, alive now. It’s as if he’s been electrified in the last few moments of your conversation. “You are more than enough. You’re everything. Every day I see how hard you work, how much of your heart you put into this city and its people, and it reminds me of why I want to protect this city. It’s because of you. I want you safe, I want you happy here — with me. God, I fucking love you, you know that. I’m going to remind you of it every day. If you’ll let me have you again, I promise you — you’ll never have a doubt in your mind ever again when it comes to where you stand with me. You’ll see what I see in you.”

You crack another small smile, cheeks aching. You’re probably ripping open a couple of stitches, but it’s worth it when Dick breathes a sigh of relief. “Love you too, Dick.”

The smile he offers you is magnificent. The kind that you memorize, print, and tuck away for safekeeping on a rainy day. He presses another kiss to your forehead, then your hand. Firm this time. More confident. He hesitates before he leans to brush his lips against yours. 

And it feels like homecoming. 

“I’m going to put a tracker on you from now on. I’ll drop you off at work and pick you up. I’ll install new security measures in your office and our apartment—”

“Our?”

He freezes then flushes, pink tinging his neck. “If you want. I mean, I think you’ll be safer there. I know we haven’t been together long but I’ll feel better if you’re with me. We can spend more time together, I don’t have to let you go at the end of the day. If you’re not comfortable, I’ll set up a separate room for you first — not to say I won’t be crashing in there every night, but—”

“Dick,” you reprimand teasingly. “I’ll think about it. That’s a big move.”

“Right, yeah. Of course. You don’t have to. I’ll implement new security cameras and sensors at your place. I’ll booby trap some of the windows so no one can break in. We’ll upgrade your—”

“Dick,” you say again, softer this time. “Your offer isn’t a bad thing. I just… I have to think about it. I love you, I do. It’s just been a lot.”

He nods solemnly and you can practically hear the gears turning in his head. Always working. Always looking for a solution. 

“It’s not a no, baby.”

The pet name has him perking up, his eyes illuminating for the first time in a while since you’ve seen him. Crystal blue staring right back at you. 

“And Dick—”

“Yeah?”

“Probably time to get the doctor. I might’ve split open a few stitches.”

“Oh, shit yeah.” He jumps to his feet, ready to run out when you call for him again. He pops his head back in, gaze curious, happy, concerned. 

Your lips tug into a smile. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, pretty girl.”

dick is flying to (taglist): @catclaw1 @lunexiax @esunarint @lunaryoongie @alli0-0 @avgdestitute @parker-barnes-af @onecojg @lynnidc @winnichu173 @c3liaaaaa @my-drvidess @fruitypebsworld @smorgasbrods @ruptureedspleen @take-it-on-the-run @a-very-fictional-girl @eiaf4uwn @vivianna2392 @w1nchesterfiles @ae1szn @its-pomegranite @athenxt

he took a breath, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. the bells jingled softly with the movement. "why did the knight bring a ladder to the bar?"

you waited.

he stared at you, waiting for you to ask why. when you didn't, he shifted his weight, the bells ringing again. "because he heard the drinks were on the house."

silence.

absolute, crushing silence.

you stared at him, blinking once, twice. the punchline hung in the air, limp and lifeless. a few courtiers near the front snorted, but it was clearly out of pity, not genuine humor.

choso’s ears—hidden somewhat by his messy hair—turned a shade of crimson that rivaled his motley. he looked at you, his dark eyes wide with a desperate, pleading hope that you might find it funny. when you didn't crack a smile, he looked down again, his shoulders slumping.

"i see," you said, your tone dry as dust. "well. that was... informative."

"i-i have another," he rushed out, panic edging his voice. "what do you call a fake noodle?"

"an impasta?" you guessed, reciting the most basic joke in the kingdom.

he nodded vigorously, the bells on his hat jingling with the motion. "yes. that is... that is the joke."

"you bore me," you said, cutting him off before he could offer another stale pun. "and your jokes are older than the stones in this castle."

he winced, looking genuinely wounded. "i... i’m trying, your highness."

"try harder," you snapped, though there was no real heat behind it. you were just bored, and he was an easy target. "you’re annoying. the bells are annoying. your face is... serious. you look like you’re attending a funeral, not entertaining a princess."

his jaw tightened, but he didn't argue. he just bowed again, deeper this time, careful not to trip. "i will endeavor to improve, your highness."

"see that you do," you waved a hand dismissively. "you’re dismissed for now. go practice. somewhere far away from here."

he bowed a third time, retreating backward toward the doors, clumsy and stiff. the bells rang with every step, a dull, rhythmic tolling that followed him out of the room. the heavy doors shut, silencing the sound, and the court resumed its murmuring, the new jester already forgotten by most.

but you remembered the flush on his cheeks, the way his large hands had trembled slightly.

—

later that afternoon, you were in the gardens, walking the hedgerows with your ladies-in-waiting. the air was crisp, the scent of roses heavy and sweet. you were discussing the upcoming harvest festival, the tedious details of decorations and feasts, when a flash of ugly red caught your eye near the fountain.

it was him. choso.

he was standing by the stone basin, staring at the water as if it held the secrets of the universe. he wasn't juggling, wasn't tumbling, wasn't doing anything remotely jester-like. he was just... standing there, looking like a misplaced gargoyle.

"oh, look," elara, your closest lady, giggled behind her hand. "it’s the gloomy jester."

"perhaps he’s waiting for the fish to tell him a joke," another maid added, earning a ripple of laughter.

you felt a strange urge to defend him, which was ridiculous. he was annoying. but as you drew closer, you saw him reach out a hand, his fingers hovering over the surface of the water. a dragonfly landed on his knuckle, and for a second, his expression softened. he didn't crush it. he didn't flick it away. he just watched it, his dark eyes curious.

then he saw you.

the softness vanished, replaced by that familiar, panicked stiffness. he jerked his hand back, the dragonfly flying off, and immediately tried to execute a bow. he managed to dip low without falling, but the bells on his shoes rang out sharply against the cobblestones.

"your highness!" he said, his voice tight.

"still here?" you asked, stopping before him. you looked him up and down. the motley was even more daunting in the sunlight, the red fabric clashing violently with the green of the hedges. "i thought i told you to go practice."

"i was... practicing," he said, gesturing vaguely at the fountain. "observation. humor is rooted in observation, they say."

"and what have you observed?"

he paused, thinking hard. his brows furrowed in concentration. "that the water is wet. and the stone is hard."

elara snorted, quickly covering her mouth. you fought the urge to roll your eyes.

"riveting," you said. "truly, the court is lucky to have such a keen wit."

he looked down, his ears turning pink again. "i’m not... i’m not naturally funny, your highness. i was hired for my... other skills."

"other skills?" you raised an eyebrow. "can you juggle? tumble? swallow fire?"

he shook his head. "no. but i can... stand very still. and i have good reflexes."

"that is not what a jester does."

"i know," he said quietly.

you sighed, stepping closer. the scent of him was unexpected—not the cloying smell of cheap perfume or sweat, but something earthy, like old paper and rain. his hands were clasped behind his back, knuckles white.

"look," you said, softening your tone slightly. "my father hired you to make me laugh. or at least, to distract me. you’re failing miserably."

"i’m sorry," he said, and he sounded it. genuinely, deeply sorry. "i will try harder. i can... i can learn a new routine. i can tumble. i can try to be... louder."

"louder isn't better," you told him. "you’re stiff. you move like a soldier, not a performer. relax."

he blinked, looking at you as if you’d spoken a foreign language. "relax?"

"yes. loosen up. stop looking like you’re about to be executed."

he let out a breath, a short, sharp exhale. "i’m not used to... this. the bells. the colors. the expectation of joy."

"what are you used to?"

his eyes met yours, and for a second, the mask slipped. there was a hardness there, a history of violence and loss that didn't belong in a garden. then it was gone, shuttered away. "nothing important, your highness. just... the quiet."

you studied him for a long moment. he was an enigma, this jester who couldn't joke, who stood like a statue, who looked at dragonflies with tenderness.

"fine," you said finally. "you may follow me for the rest of the walk. but no bells."

he looked confused. "no bells?"

"take them off. they’re grating on my nerves."

he hesitated, then reached up to his hat. he unhooked the small, tarnished bells one by one, placing them carefully into a pouch at his belt. the silence that followed was profound. without the constant jingling, he seemed... larger. more imposing. the silence around him was heavy, but it was a comfortable silence, not the awkward one from the throne room.

"better," you murmured. "now, walk. and try not to look like you’re marching to war."

he nodded, falling into step beside you, keeping a respectful distance. he walked quietly, his boots making soft thuds on the path. for the next hour, he followed you through the gardens, silent and observant. he didn't try to tell a joke. he didn't try to tumble. he just walked.

and strangely, you didn't mind his presence.

—

it became a routine, then. not a comfortable one—not yet—but a routine nonetheless. every afternoon, like clockwork, choso would appear in your solar. he'd knock twice, wait for your curt "enter," and then take his place in the furthest chair by the window. sometimes he brought nothing. sometimes he brought a book he clearly wasn't reading, just holding it in his lap like a prop, his dark eyes flicking up every few seconds to check if you'd noticed him failing at the one thing he was supposed to be doing.

you noticed. you always noticed.

"you're staring at that page like it insulted your bloodline," you said one afternoon, not looking up from your embroidery. the fire crackled in the hearth, casting warm shadows across the room. outside, rain streaked the windows in silver lines.

he startled, the book nearly slipping from his grasp. "i'm reading."

"you've been on the same page for twenty minutes."

he looked down at the book, then back at you, his expression caught between guilt and defiance. "it's a... complex passage."

"it's a cookbook."

the silence that followed was excruciating. you could see the exact moment the realization hit him—the way his shoulders sagged, the way his nose turned pink beneath the messy fall of his hair. he closed the book slowly, setting it on the small table beside him with exaggerated care.

"i was hungry," he said, which was such a blatant lie that you almost laughed. almost.

"you're supposed to be humouring me," you reminded him, threading your needle with a sharp, precise motion. "not reading cookbooks in the corner."

"i know."

"so entertain me."

he opened his mouth. closed it. opened it again. "would you like to hear about the history of bread-making?"

"no."

"the proper way to knead dough?"

"absolutely not."

he slumped back in his chair, looking utterly defeated. the motley he wore today was a deep purple and gold, the colors rich but somehow making him look even more out of place, like a crow dressed in peacock feathers. the bells on his hat—he'd started wearing them again, a small rebellion or perhaps just forgetfulness—jingled softly with the movement.

"i don't know what you want from me," he said quietly, and there was a raw honesty in his voice that made you pause.

you set your embroidery down, turning to face him fully. he looked miserable. genuinely, deeply miserable. his large hands were clasped in his lap, knuckles white, and he wouldn't meet your eyes.

"i want you to be what you were hired to be," you said, not unkindly. "a jester. someone who makes people laugh. someone who brings lightness to this... heavy place."

"i'm not light," he said, still staring at his hands. "i've never been light."

"i can see that."

he looked up then, surprised. his dark eyes searched your face, looking for mockery, for cruelty. he found neither.

"you're not light," you agreed. "but you're here. and you're trying. and that's... something, i suppose."

he held your gaze for a long moment, something shifting in his expression. not quite hope, but perhaps the ghost of it. "something," he repeated softly.

"don't let it go to your head."

he almost smiled.

—

the rain continued for three days straight, turning the castle grounds into a muddy, dripping prison. you were confined to the indoors, pacing the halls like a caged animal, your ladies-in-waiting trailing behind you with their endless chatter about needlework and court gossip. you loved them, truly, but sometimes their voices were like nails on a chalkboard.

you found yourself in the library on the third day, seeking solitude among the towering shelves of leather-bound books. the room was vast and quiet, lit by the pale gray light filtering through the high windows. you ran your fingers along the spines, searching for nothing in particular, just needing to move, to think.

"your highness."

you turned to find choso standing at the end of the aisle, looking as out of place among the books as he did everywhere else. he was holding a small, battered book in one hand, his other hand fidgeting with the hem of his motley.

"what are you doing here?" you asked, more curious than annoyed.

"looking for... material," he said, holding up the book. "jokes. humor. something."

you raised an eyebrow. "you're researching jokes?"

"yes."

"in the library."

"…yes."

you couldn't help it. a small laugh escaped you, sharp and surprised. he blinked, looking startled by the sound.

"what?" he asked, defensive.

"you," you said, shaking your head. "you're researching jokes. like they're a subject to be studied!"

"they are," he insisted, his cheeks flushing. "humor is a skill. it can be learned."

"not like that!"

"how, then?"

you thought about it, tilting your head. "i don't know. it just... happens. you see something funny, or you say something without thinking, and people laugh. it's not something you can read about in a book."

he looked down at the book in his hands, then back at you, his expression crestfallen. "so i'm hopeless."

"i didn't say that."

"you didn't have to."

you sighed, stepping closer. up close, you could see the dark circles under his eyes, the tension in his jaw. he looked tired. not just physically, but tired in his soul.

"choso," you said, and it was the first time you'd used his name without the title attached. he looked up, startled. "you're trying too hard. that's the problem."

"i'm not trying hard enough. you just said—"

"i know what i said. but you're so focused on being funny that you're forgetting to just... be. be yourself. be present. the humor will come."

he stared at you, his dark eyes wide and uncertain. "what if myself isn't funny?"

"then you'll be the world's most serious jester," you said dryly. "and at least you'll be original."

he huffed, a sound that was almost a laugh. almost. "original. great. that's what every jester dreams of."

"you're not every jester."

"no," he agreed quietly. "i'm not."

you stood there for a moment, the silence stretching between you. it wasn't uncomfortable, exactly, but it was heavy with something you couldn't quite name. then you turned away, back to the bookshelves, dismissing the feeling.

"fine," you said over your shoulder. "you can stay. but no more research. just sit. and be quiet. let the silence do the work."

"the silence?"

"yes. sometimes silence is funnier than any joke," you lied.

he looked skeptical, but he didn't argue. he moved to a chair in the corner, settling into it with a grace that belied his size. he didn't open the book. he just sat, watching you browse the shelves.

the minutes ticked by. the rain drummed against the windows. the fire in the library's hearth crackled softly. you pulled out a book at random, flipping through the pages without really reading, hyperaware of his presence in the corner of your vision.

"your highness," he said finally, breaking the silence.

"what now?"

"why do you stay in here? in the library. you could be in your solar. it's warmer. more comfortable."

you shrugged, not turning around. "i like the quiet."

"you like the quiet," he repeated, and you could hear the smile in his voice. "the princess who complains about my silence likes the quiet."

"it's different," you said, defensive. "your silence is... heavy. oppressive. the library's silence is peaceful."

"oppressive," he echoed, and now he was definitely smiling. "that's a big word."

you turned to glare at him, but the expression died on your face when you saw him. he was leaning back in the chair, one leg crossed over the other, the book forgotten on the armrest. his posture was relaxed, his face softer than you'd ever seen it. and he was smiling—not the small, hesitant almost-smiles he'd given you before, but a real smile, reaching his eyes.

"what?" you demanded, feeling heat creep up your neck.

"nothing," he said, still smiling. "just... you're funny."

"i'm not trying to be funny."

"i know," he said, and his smile widened. "that's what makes it funny."

you stared at him, your mouth opening and closing like a fish. he thought you were funny. him. the man who couldn't tell a joke to save his life thought you were funny.

"that's—" you sputtered. "i'm not—you can't just—"

and then, despite yourself, you laughed.

it burst out of you, unexpected and bright, echoing off the high ceilings of the library. you laughed until your sides hurt, until tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, until you had to lean against the bookshelf for support.

choso watched you, his smile softening into something warmer, something that made your chest ache in a way you didn't want to examine.

"there it is," he said quietly.

"there what is?"

"the sound i've been trying to earn."

—

after that, something shifted. not dramatically, not all at once, but slowly, like the turning of a season. you still complained about him. he still failed spectacularly at being a jester. but the edges of your annoyance softened, worn down by the quiet afternoons and the unexpected moments of levity.

he started appearing in more places. not just your solar, but the gardens, the hallways, the kitchens. he was always there, a silent shadow in motley, watching you with those dark, intense eyes. you'd be walking to a meeting with your father, and you'd turn a corner to find him standing there, waiting.

"following me now?" you'd ask, exasperated.

"the king requested i attend to you," he'd say, which was a transparent lie and you both knew it.

"the king doesn't care where i am."

"perhaps i care," he'd say, so quietly you almost missed it.

you didn't know what to do with that. so you did nothing. you just kept walking, and he kept following, and the silence between you grew more comfortable with each passing day.

one afternoon, you were in the throne room, sitting in on a council meeting. it was tedious beyond measure—trade agreements and tax disputes and border negotiations that made your eyes glaze over. you sat in your chair on the dais, trying to look engaged, while your mind wandered.

you glanced to the side and saw choso standing against the wall, trying to blend in with the tapestries. he was failing miserably. the motley was too bright, his presence too solid. but he was trying, standing so still that he almost looked like a statue.

you caught his eye. he looked panicked, like a child caught stealing sweets. you fought the urge to smile.

the council droned on. lord something-or-other was explaining the intricacies of grain tariffs, his voice a monotonous buzz. you felt your attention slipping, your eyelids growing heavy.

then you felt it. a small, light touch on your ankle.

you looked down. choso had somehow moved closer without you noticing, and he was holding a small, folded piece of paper. he pressed it into your hand, his fingers cold against your skin, and then retreated back to his spot against the wall.

you unfolded the note under the table, hiding it in your lap.

if i have to listen to one more minute of this, i'm going to fall asleep and roll off this wall. please save me. :c

you bit your lip to keep from laughing. you glanced at him. he was staring straight ahead, his face a perfect mask of innocence.

you scribbled a response on the bottom of the note and waited for him to pass by again. when he did, pretending to adjust his hat, you pressed the paper into his hand.

he unfolded it later, and you watched from the corner of your eye as he read it.

you're the jester! make a joke. save us both. :D

he looked at you, horrified. and you raised an eyebrow, challenging him.

he swallowed hard, then stepped forward into the center of the room. the council members stopped talking, turning to look with confusion.

"forgive me, my lords," choso said, his voice steady despite the flush creeping up his neck. "but i couldn't help but notice... we've been discussing grain for over an hour."

lord something-or-other frowned. "yes, and your point is?"

"my point," choso said, "is that i now know more about grain than i ever wanted to. and i'm a jester. my job is to know about things like... i don't know, juggling. and funny hats." he gestured to his own hat, the bells jingling. "but apparently, i'm also an expert in agriculture now."

silence.

then, unexpectedly, your father laughed. a deep, booming laugh that filled the throne room. "the boy's right!" the king said, wiping his eyes. "we've been at this too long. let's take a break."

the council members murmured their agreement, standing and stretching. you sat there, stunned, as choso bowed and retreated back to his spot against the wall.

when the room had cleared, you approached him. he looked nervous, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his motley.

"that was—" you started.

"terrible," he finished. "i know. i'm xi. i just—"

"that was perfect," you interrupted.

he looked up, surprised. "what?"

"you made my father laugh. you made the whole council stop. you were..." you searched for the word. "you were yourself. and it worked."

he stared at you, his dark eyes wide and hopeful. "really?"

"really."

he smiled, that small, genuine smile that was becoming familiar. "thank you, your highness."

"stop thanking me," you said, but there was no bite to it. "just keep doing that! being honest. being real. it's better than any joke you could study."

"i'll try," he said. "for you."

the words hung in the air, heavy with implication. you turned away before he could see the flush on your cheeks, before he could see the way your heart had stumbled in your chest.

"come on," you said over your shoulder. "i need air. and you're going to walk with me."

"yes, your highness," he said, and you could hear the smile in his voice.

you walked through the castle halls, side by side, the silence between you no longer heavy or oppressive. it was just plain old silence. comfortable and easy.

and if your hand brushed against his as you walked, neither of you mentioned it.

—

the days turned into weeks. the routine solidified. choso was everywhere— he was your shadow, your silent companion, your failed jester who was slowly, inexplicably, becoming something more.

you still teased him. he still complained. you still told him he was annoying and unfunny and too serious for his own good. but the words had lost their edge, softened by the warmth that had begun to grow between you.

one evening, you were in the gardens, watching the sun set over the castle walls. the sky was painted in shades of orange and pink, the air cool and sweet with the scent of roses. you sat on a stone bench, your embroidery forgotten in your lap, lost in thought.

"a penny for your thoughts?"

you looked up to find choso standing before you, his hands clasped behind his back. the setting sun caught the gold threads in his motley, making him glow.

"they're worth more than a mere penny," you said, but there was no heat in it.

"then i'll owe you," he said, sitting beside you without invitation. he was close enough that you could feel the warmth of him, despite the chill in the air.

"you'll owe me a lot," you said, turning back to the sunset.

"i don't mind."

you sat in silence for a while, watching the sky darken. the first stars began to appear, faint and distant.

"choso?" you said finally.

"yes?"

"why do you stay? you could have left by now. found another position. somewhere you didn't have to pretend to be something you're not."

he was quiet for a long time. when he spoke, his voice was soft, barely above a whisper. "because you see me."

you turned to look at him. "what do you mean?"

"everyone else sees the jester. the motley. the bells. the failure. but you..." he met your eyes, his dark gaze intense. "you see me. the real me. and you don't taunt me. well, not as bad as the servants do."

your breath caught in your throat. you didn't know what to say. so you said nothing. you just sat there, side by side, watching the stars come out.

and when his hand found yours in the darkness, his cold fingers intertwining with your warm ones, you didn't pull away.

the stars were multiplying now, scattered across the darkening sky like spilled salt. the air had grown colder, but you barely noticed. all you could focus on was the weight of his hand in yours, the way his thumb traced slow, absent circles against your knuckles.

"choso?" you breathed, and his name felt different in your mouth now. softer. more intimate.

"yes?" he turned to face you fully, and the distance between you shrank to nothing. his dark eyes searched your face, looking for permission, for confirmation, for something he seemed too afraid to name.

your heart hammered against your ribs. this was wrong. he was a jester. you were a princess. your father would—

you didn't care.

you leaned in, just slightly, your eyes flicking down to his lips. they were slightly chapped, parted, waiting. his breath hitched, warm against your cheek. his free hand came up, trembling, to cup your face. his palm was cold against your flushed skin, and you shivered, but not from the cold.

"princess," he whispered, and it sounded like a prayer.

you closed your eyes.

"choso!"

the voice boomed across the gardens like a crack of thunder. you jerked apart so fast you nearly fell off the bench. choso's hand dropped from your face like it had been burned, and he was on his feet in an instant, bowing low.

your father stood at the garden entrance, his massive frame silhouetted against the torchlight from the castle behind him. his face was flushed—from wine or anger, you couldn't tell—and his eyes were fixed on choso with an intensity that made your stomach drop.

"y-your majesty," choso said, his voice steady despite the panic you could see in the rigid set of his shoulders.

"the guests are waiting," your father said, his tone clipped. "the duke of the northern provinces has traveled three days to be here, and you're skulking in the gardens like a common servant. get inside. now."

choso didn't look at you. he couldn't. if he did, if your father saw the way his eyes lingered, the way his hands still trembled—

"at once, your majesty," choso said, and bowed again before turning on his heel and striding toward the castle. the bells on his hat jingled with each step, a mocking, cheerful sound that made you want to scream.

you sat there on the bench, your hand still warm from his touch, your lips still tingling with the ghost of what almost happened. your father watched choso go, his expression unreadable.

"daughter," he said finally, turning to you.

"father."

"inside. now. you have your duties to attend to."

you stood, gathering your embroidery with hands that wouldn't stop shaking. "of course, father."

you followed him into the castle, your mind racing. the warmth of the garden was replaced by the oppressive heat of the great hall, where torches blazed and the air was thick with the smell of roasted meat and spilled wine. the long tables were filled with nobles and dignitaries, their laughter and chatter a cacophony that made your head pound.

choso was already there, standing at the center of the hall, surrounded by expectant faces. he looked small somehow, despite his size. the motley seemed garish under the torchlight, the bells absurd. he caught your eye for just a second—a fleeting, desperate glance—before turning to the crowd.

"ladies and gentlemen," he began, his voice carrying across the hall. "i hope you're enjoying the feast."

a few polite chuckles. most of the guests barely looked up from their plates.

"i thought i'd start with a little something to... lighten the mood." he reached into his sleeve and produced three wooden balls, beginning to juggle them with surprising dexterity. the balls arced through the air, catching the torchlight, and for a moment, you forgot to breathe.

he was good. really good. the balls moved in perfect rhythm, his hands a blur, his expression focused and intense. the guests began to pay attention, their conversations dying down as they watched.

then he added a fourth ball. then a fifth. the crowd gasped, impressed. choso's face remained serious, but you could see the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips.

"impressive," the duke of the northern provinces said, leaning forward in his seat. "but can you do it blindfolded?"

choso caught the balls one by one, tucking them back into his sleeve. "i can try, your grace!"

someone produced a silk scarf, and choso tied it around his eyes with practiced ease. he took a breath, then began to juggle again. the balls moved in perfect arcs, his hands finding them by instinct alone. the crowd erupted in applause.

you watched from your seat at the high table, your heart swelling with something you couldn't name. pride, maybe. or something deeper. something dangerous.

your father leaned over, his voice low. "he's adequate, i suppose. better than the last one."

"he's more than adequate," you said, not looking at your father. "he's talented."

"he's a jester!" your father said, dismissive. "talent is irrelevant. he serves a purpose. nothing more."

you bit your tongue, saying nothing. but inside, something hardened. a resolve you hadn't known you possessed.

choso finished his act to thunderous applause, bowing low. as he straightened, his eyes found yours across the crowded hall. the blindfold was gone, and the look he gave you was raw, unguarded, full of everything he couldn't say.

you held his gaze, letting him see the truth in your own eyes. i know. i feel it too. this isn't over.

he looked away first, bowing to the crowd and retreating to the edge of the hall. but you could see the tension in his shoulders, the way his hands clenched and unclenched at his sides.

the feast dragged on. course after course, speech after speech, toast after toast. you sat at the high table, smiling and nodding and saying all the right things, but your mind was elsewhere. on a garden bench. on cold hands and warm breath. on a moment that had been stolen from you.

when the feast finally ended, when the last guest had stumbled to their chambers and the hall had emptied, you found yourself alone. the servants were clearing the tables, their movements efficient and silent. you stood, your legs stiff from sitting, and made your way toward the door.

"your highness."

you turned. choso was standing in the shadows by the wall, half-hidden behind a pillar. he looked exhausted, the motley rumpled, his hair disheveled.

"choso," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

he stepped closer, checking to make sure no one was watching. "i'm sorry. about before. in the gardens. i shouldn't have—"

"don't," you said, cutting him off. "don't apologize for that."

"but your father—"

"my father doesn't own me," you said, and the words felt like a declaration of war. "he doesn't control what i feel. who i—"

you stopped yourself before you could say too much. but the words hung in the air anyway, heavy with implication.

choso stared at you, his dark eyes wide. "princess—"

"don't call me that," you said, stepping closer. "not now. not when we're alone."

"i have to," he said, his voice strained. "if anyone hears—"

"let them hear."

"you don't know what you're saying," he said, but there was no conviction in his voice. only fear. and longing.

"i know exactly what i'm saying," you said, and you reached out, your hand finding his. his fingers were cold, as always, but they curled around yours without hesitation. "i know what i want."

"and what do you want?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

you looked up at him, at this man who had stumbled into your life like a storm, who had turned your world upside down with his silence and his seriousness and his unexpected, devastating warmth.

"you," you said simply. "i want you."

his breath hitched. his hand tightened around yours. for a moment, you thought he might pull you close, might kiss you right there in the empty hall, consequences be damned.

then footsteps echoed from the corridor, and the moment shattered. choso dropped your hand like it had burned him, stepping back into the shadows.

"tomorrow," he whispered. "meet me inthe gardens. at midnight."

"choso—"

"please," he said, and the desperation in his voice made your chest ache. "i can't... i can't do this here. not where anyone can see. but tomorrow. i promise."

you nodded, your heart pounding. "tomorrow."

he melted back into the shadows, disappearing as silently as he'd appeared. you stood there for a long moment, your hand still tingling from his touch, your lips still burning with the memory of what almost happened.

then you turned and walked to your chambers, your mind racing, your heart full.

tomorrow at midnight in the gardens.

you couldn't wait.

—

you woke with the sun, which was unusual for you. normally you'd sleep until your ladies-in-waiting came to rouse you, groaning and pulling the covers over your head. but today your eyes flew open before dawn had even fully broken, your heart already racing, your body thrumming with an energy you couldn't name.

you threw the covers aside and rang for your maids before you could talk yourself out of it. elara arrived first, her hair still mussed from sleep, blinking at you in confusion.

"your highness? is everything alright?"

"everything is perfect!" you said, and the word came out breathless, giddy. "everything is perfect. i need my sewing basket. and the blue silk. no—the green. the green with the silver thread."

elara stared at you like you'd grown a second head. "you want to sew? now? it's barely dawn."

"yes, now. please."

the maids exchanged glances but didn't argue. they knew better than to question you when you had that look in your eyes—the one that said you'd already made up your mind and the world could either get on board or get out of the way.

they brought your sewing basket, the green silk, the silver thread. you settled by the window where the light was best, your fingers already moving, stitching with a focus and precision that surprised even you. you were making a handkerchief. a simple thing, really. but you embroidered the edges with tiny roses, each petal perfect, each leaf delicate. your best work. the kind of work that took hours, that demanded your full attention.

but you didn't want your full attention. you wanted to think about cold hands and dark eyes and the way choso's voice cracked when he said your name.

"you're humming," elara observed from across the room, where she was mending one of your gowns.

you stopped. you hadn't even realized. "am i?"

"yes. you rarely hum."

you started again, unable to help it. the melody was aimless, wandering, the kind of tune that came from a heart too full to contain itself. you stitched and hummed and watched the sun climb higher in the sky, marking the hours until midnight.

the day crawled. you sewed through breakfast, through lunch, through the afternoon. your fingers moved automatically, the needle flashing in and out of the fabric, while your mind wandered to gardens and starlight and the almost-kiss that had been stolen from you.

"your highness, you've been at this for hours," elara said, concern creeping into her voice. "your fingers must be sore."

you looked down. she was right. your fingertips were red, the skin tender from the needle. but you couldn't stop. if you stopped, you'd have to think. and if you thought, you'd have to confront the enormity of what you were feeling, the danger of what you were planning.

"just a little longer," you said. "i want to finish this tonight."

tonight. the word sent a shiver down your spine.

the afternoon bled into evening. you ate dinner mechanically, tasting nothing, your mind already in the gardens, already by the stone bench, already waiting. your father sat at the head of the table, discussing trade agreements with some lord or other, and you nodded and smiled and said nothing.

"you're quiet tonight, daughter," your father observed, his eyes narrowing.

"just tired, father," you said. "it's been a long day."

"hm." he didn't look convinced, but he let it go. "early night, then. you look pale."

"yes, father."

you excused yourself as soon as politeness allowed, retreating to your chambers with a flurry of excuses about headaches and early mornings. your maids helped you out of your gown, into your nightdress, brushing out your hair with practiced efficiency.

"will you need anything else tonight, your highness?" elara asked, pausing at the door.

"nope! sleep well, elara."

"you too, your highness."

the door closed. the lock clicked. and then you were alone.

you sat by the window, the finished handkerchief in your lap. it was beautiful, if you said so yourself. the roses were perfect, the silver thread catching the candlelight. you'd made it for him. a stupid, sentimental gift that you'd probably never have the courage to give.

you watched the moon climb the sky. nine o'clock. ten o'clock. your heart hammered with each passing minute.

then, soft as a breath, a knock at your door.

you froze. no one knocked on your door at this hour. no one dared.

another knock. three taps, a pause, then two more.

you were at the door in an instant, your hand on the lock, your breath caught in your throat. you shouldn't open it. you knew you shouldn't. but your hand was already turning the mechanism, already pulling the door inward.

choso stood in the corridor, still wearing his motley, his dark hair damp from the night air. his eyes were wide, wild, desperate. he looked like a man who'd been drowning and had finally broken the surface.

"choso?!" you breathed. "what are you—it's only ten. i thought—midnight—"

"i couldn't wait," he said, and his voice was raw, stripped bare. "i tried. i waited in the gardens for an hour, but i couldn't—i needed to see you. i needed to know if last night was real. if you meant what you said."

you stared at him, your heart pounding so hard you thought it might burst from your chest. "you came to my chambers. choso, if anyone sees you—"

"i don't care," he said, and the words were fierce, almost angry. "i don't care about the rules, or the risk, or what your father will do if he finds out. i just... i needed to see you."

you should have sent him away. you should have closed the door, locked it, pretended this never happened. but you were already reaching for him, your hand curling into the fabric of his motley, pulling him inside.

the door closed behind him. the lock clicked. and then you were alone together, in your chambers, with nothing but candlelight and moonlight and the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on you.

"hi," he said softly, and the word was so simple, so human, that it made your chest ache.

"hi," you whispered back.

he looked around your chambers like he was seeing them for the first time. the canopy bed, the sewing basket by the window, the embroidery hoop with the green silk. his eyes lingered on the handkerchief in your lap, the one with the roses.

"you made that," he said, his voice wondering.

"yes."

"for me?"

you nodded, unable to speak.

he crossed the room in two strides, kneeling before you like a knight before his queen. his hands found yours, cold fingers intertwining with warm ones, and he looked up at you with those dark, intense eyes.

"i'm sorry," he said. "for coming here. for being reckless. for putting you in danger. but i couldn't—i couldn't stay away. not after you said—"

"i meant it," you said, cutting him off. "every word."

his breath hitched. his hands tightened around yours. "but i'm nothing. a jester. a failure. a man who can't even make people laugh. you're a princess. you deserve—"

"i deserve someone who loves me," you said, echoing his words from the garden. "someone who doesn't look away."

he stared at you, his eyes shining in the candlelight. "i see you," he whispered. "i see all of you. the sharp tongue and the soft heart. the crown and the girl underneath. i see you, and i—"

he stopped, the words catching in his throat.

"you what?" you prompted, your voice barely a breath.

"i love you," he said, and the words tumbled out like a confession, like a prayer, like a man jumping off a cliff and trusting the wind to catch him. "i love you, and i know i shouldn't, and i know it's wrong, and i know your father would have me executed if he knew, but i can't—i can't not say it. not after last night. not after you looked at me like i was something more than a fool in motley."

your eyes burned. your vision blurred. you were crying, you realized. tears streaming down your face, hot and fast, and you couldn't stop them.

"choso," you said, and his name was a sob, a laugh, a benediction.

he reached up, his cold thumb brushing the tears from your cheeks. "don't cry," he said, his voice breaking. "please don't cry. i didn't mean to make you cry."

"they're happy tears," you said, laughing through the sobs. "you idiot. i'm so happy!"

he smiled, that small, genuine smile that was becoming your favorite thing in the world. "happy tears," he repeated, like he was testing the words. "i've never made anyone cry happy tears before."

"there's a first time for everything," you said, and then you were leaning down, your hands cupping his face, your lips finding his.

the kiss was soft at first. tentative. a question and an answer all at once. his lips were chapped, slightly rough, and he tasted like rain and something sweet, like honey or wine. his hands came up to frame your face, trembling, holding you like you were something precious, something that might shatter if he held too tight.

then the kiss deepened. his tongue traced the seam of your lips, asking for entrance, and you granted it without hesitation. he groaned against your mouth, the sound low and desperate, and pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around your waist.

you tumbled off the chair, landing in a heap on the floor, laughing and kissing and tangled together. he was above you, his weight pressing you into the carpet, his hands everywhere—in your hair, on your waist, sliding up your sides.

"wait," he gasped, pulling back. his eyes were wild, his lips swollen, his hair a mess. "wait. we should—we should talk about this. about what this means. about the consequences."

"later," you said, pulling him back down. "we'll talk later. fuck— i need you, cho."

something in him broke. or maybe something in him finally came together. he kissed you again, harder this time, his hands sliding under your nightdress, cold fingers against the warm skin of your waist. you gasped into his mouth, arching up into him, your fingers tangling in his messy hair.

"god—" he breathed against your lips, his voice wrecked. "you're so soft. so perfect."

his mouth trailed down your jaw, your neck, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. you tilted your head back, giving him access, and he took full advantage—nuzzling the sensitive spot below your ear, his breath hot and ragged.

"cho!—" you whimpered, your hips rolling up against him instinctively. he groaned, grinding down, and you could feel how hard he was through the layers of fabric between you.

"i know—i'm sorry—" he panted, but he didn't stop. his hands slid higher, brushing the underside of your breasts, and you moaned, the sound louder than you intended.

"shh," he whispered, pressing a finger to his own lips. "we have to be quiet. if anyone hears—"

you nodded, biting your lip to keep from making more sounds. but then his thumb brushed over your nipple, and a small, helpless noise escaped anyway. he swallowed it with another kiss, his tongue sliding against yours, and you felt him smile against your mouth.

"i can't help it," you mumbled against his lips.

"i want to hear you," he said, his voice low and rough. "i want to hear every sound. but not tonight. not here."

his hands continued their exploration, mapping your body like he was memorizing it. every curve, every dip, every place that made you gasp or shiver or squirm. he was attentive, careful, his touch reverent—like you were something holy.

then the door burst open.

"your highness, i forgot to—"

elara stood in the doorway, her hand still on the doorknob, her eyes wide as saucers. she took in the scene in a single, horrifying glance—you on the floor, choso above you, his hands under your nightdress, your hair a mess, your lips swollen, the two of you tangled together in a way that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

for one frozen moment, nobody moved.

then elara screamed.

it was a high, piercing sound that shattered the silence like glass. she stumbled backward into the corridor, her hands flying to her mouth, her eyes still wide with shock.

"the king!" she shrieked. "someone get the king! the jester—he's—the princess—"

"elara, wait!" you scrambled to your feet, your nightdress falling back into place, your heart hammering so hard you thought it might explode. "elara, please— don't!"

but she was already running, her footsteps echoing down the corridor, her screams growing fainter but no less terrifying.

choso was on his feet too, his face pale, his eyes wide with panic. "i have to go," he said, his voice tight. "i have to—if your father finds me here—"

"choso—"

"i'm sorry," he said, and the words were desperate, anguished. "i'm so sorry. i never should have come. i put you in danger. i—"

"stop," you said, grabbing his hand. "we'll figure this out. we'll—"

"there's nothing to figure out," he said, and his voice was hollow. "your father will have me executed. or exiled. or worse. and you—god, what will he do to you?"

"i don't care," you said, and you meant it. "i don't care what he does to me. i just—"

"i care!" he said, and his voice broke. "i care what happens to you. and i won't let my selfishness destroy your life."

he pulled his hand from yours, stepping back. the distance between you felt like a chasm, widening with every breath.

"choso, please—"

"i love you," he said, and the words were a goodbye, raw and ragged and final. "i love you, and that's why i— i have to go."

he moved to the window, throwing it open. the night air rushed in, cool and damp, carrying the scent of rain and roses. he looked back at you one last time, his dark eyes full of everything he couldn't say, everything he'd never get the chance to.

"i'm sorry," he whispered.

and then he was gone, disappearing into the darkness like a shadow swallowed by the night.

you stood there, frozen, your heart shattering into a thousand pieces. the sound of elara's screams still echoed in your ears, growing fainter as she ran down the corridor, but no less terrifying for the distance.

you had maybe seconds. maybe less.

you looked down at yourself—your nightdress rumpled, your hair a mess, your lips still swollen from his kisses. evidence everywhere. you grabbed a shawl from the back of your chair, wrapping it around your shoulders, trying to look presentable, trying to look innocent. your hands were shaking so badly you could barely tie it.

you smoothed your hair. you straightened your nightdress. you tried to slow your breathing, to calm the frantic beating of your heart.

but it wasn't enough. you knew it wasn't enough.

the footsteps came first. heavy, booted, multiple sets. the guards. you could hear them before you saw them—the clatter of armor, the jingle of weapons, the low murmur of voices.

then the door to your chambers slammed open.

four guards filled the doorway, their faces hard and impassive. behind them, elara hovered, her eyes red from crying, her hands wringing together.

she wouldn't look at you.

"princess," the captain of the guard said, his voice flat. "the king requests your presence. immediately."

"i'm not dressed," you said, your voice steadier than you felt.

"now, your highness."

it wasn't a request.

you followed them through the corridors, your bare feet cold against the stone floor. the castle was awake now, torches blazing in their sconces, servants peering from doorways with wide eyes and whispered gossip. you kept your chin up, your expression neutral, even as your insides churned with fear.

they didn't take you to the throne room. no, they took you to your father's private study.

the room was small, intimate, lined with books and maps. a fire crackled in the hearth, casting dancing shadows across the walls. your father stood by the window, his back to you, his hands clasped behind his back. he was still wearing his dinner clothes, but his crown was gone, his hair disheveled.

and there, on his desk, was choso.

no—not on his desk. in front of it. on his knees.

two guards flanked him, their hands on his shoulders, forcing him down. his hands were bound behind his back with rough rope, his motley torn at the shoulder, a bruise already forming on his cheek. his head was bowed, his hair falling forward to hide his face.

but you could see his ears. they were red, just like they were on the first night you spoke.

your heart clenched.

"father," you said, your voice carefully controlled.

your father turned. his face was a mask of cold fury, his eyes like chips of ice. "close the door," he said to the guards.

the door closed and the lock clicked. you were alone with your father and the man you loved, kneeling on the floor like a dirty criminal.

"do you know why you're here?" your father asked, his voice deceptively calm.

"i can explain—" you started.

"can you?" he interrupted, his voice rising. "can you explain why my daughter's lady-in-waiting found a man in her chambers? a man with his hands under her dress? a man who is supposed to be a jester, not a—"

he stopped himself, his jaw clenching. the silence that followed was suffocating.

"he didn't force me," you said, your voice quiet but firm. "i wanted him there."

your father's eyes narrowed. "you wanted him there."

"yes."

"you invited a common jester into your bedchambers. willingly."

"yes."

he stared at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. then he turned to choso, who hadn't moved, hadn't lifted his head.

"and you," your father said, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "you took advantage of my daughter's kindness. you betrayed my trust. you—"

"i love her," choso said, and his voice was steady despite the fear you could see trembling in his shoulders. "i love her, and she loves me. i didn't take advantage of anything. i would never—"

"silence!" your father's voice cracked like a whip. "you don't speak unless spoken to. you're a jester. a servant. you're nothing."

the words hit you like a physical blow. you stepped forward, placing yourself between your father and choso.

"he's not nothing," you said, your voice shaking with emotion. "he's kind, and he's good, and he sees me. not the princess, me!"

"he sees a way to advance himself," your father said coldly. "a way to climb above his station. and you, foolish girl, have given him the perfect opportunity."

"that's not true!" you said, but your voice wavered. doubt crept in, cold and insidious. was it true? had choso been using you?

you looked at him. he was looking at you now, his dark eyes meeting yours. there was no guile in them. no calculation. only pain, and love, and a desperate, aching sincerity.

"i would die before i hurt her," choso said quietly. "i would give up everything. my life. my freedom. my heart. anything for her."

your father laughed. it was a cold, bitter sound. "how poetic. how romantic. and how utterly irrelevant."

he turned to the guards. "take him to the dungeon. he'll be executed at dawn for the crime of defiling the princess."

"no!" you lunged forward, but the captain of the guard caught your arm, holding you back. "father, please! you can't—"

"i can, and i will," your father said, his voice hard as stone. "he's a traitor. a seducer. a man who thought he could touch what belongs to the crown. he'll die, and you will forget him."

"i'll never forget him," you said, tears streaming down your face. "i'll never—"

"you will!" your father yelled. "because tomorrow, you'll begin your betrothal to the duke of the northern provinces. the arrangements have already been made."

the world tilted. your knees buckled. if the guard hadn't been holding you, you would have fallen.

"what?" you whispered.

"the duke has agreed to the match," your father said, his voice matter-of-fact. "the wedding will take place in one month. you will be a good wife, and you will produce heirs, and you will forget this... indiscretion ever happened."

"i won't marry him," you said, your voice breaking. "i won't—"

"you will," your father said. "or i'll have the jester tortured before he dies. is that what you want?"

you looked at choso. he was shaking his head, his eyes pleading. don't. don't sacrifice yourself for me. please.

"your majesty," choso said, his voice raw. "please. punish me. kill me. do whatever you want with me. but don't force her into a marriage she doesn't want. don't make her suffer for my mistakes."

"your mistakes?" your father repeated, his lip curling. "you think this is about your mistakes? this is about order. about hierarchy. about the natural order of things. you are nothing. nothing, i say! and you forgot your place!"

he turned to the guards. "take him away."

the guards hauled choso to his feet. he didn't resist. he just looked at you, his dark eyes full of everything he couldn't say.

"i love you," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "i'll always love you."

"choso!—" you sobbed, reaching for him, but the guard held you back.

they dragged him from the room. the door closed. his footsteps faded down the corridor, heavy and final.

you collapsed to your knees, your sobs echoing in the empty room. your father stood over you, his expression unreadable.

"you'll thank me one day," he said quietly. "when you're a duchess, with children of your own. you'll understand that i did what was necessary."

you said nothing. you just knelt there, broken, as the fire crackled and the shadows danced and the world you'd known crumbled to ash around you.

—

the morning of the execution came and went.

you didn't see the sun rise, nor did you hear the bells toll. you just sat in your window seat, wrapped in a blanket, staring at nothing, waiting for the moment when the world would end.

it didn't.

the hours passed. the sun climbed. the castle stirred to life around you. and still, you sat, numb and hollow, waiting for a grief that wouldn't come because you couldn't let yourself feel it. if you felt it, you'd shatter. and if you shattered, you'd never put yourself back together.

elara came at midday, her face pale. "your highness," she said softly. "the execution... it didn't happen."

you turned to look at her, your eyes blank. "what?"

"the king... he commuted the sentence. the jester is... he's alive."

the relief that flooded through you was so intense it was painful. your vision blurred. your hands shook. you pressed them against your mouth to stifle a sob.

"but," elara continued, her voice dropping, "the king has ordered him to perform tonight at the ball. for the duke."

the relief curdled into something else. something cold and sharp.

"perform," you repeated.

"yes. as... as punishment. to remind him of his place. to remind everyone." elara's eyes filled with tears. "your highness, i'm so sorry. i never meant—"

"leave," you said, your voice flat.

she obeyed, because what choice did she have?

you sat there for a long time, your mind racing. choso was alive! he was alive, and tonight, you'd see him. but not as yourself. not as the girl who'd kissed him on the floor of her chambers. as the princess. the betrothed. the prize being handed to another man.

the thought made you want to scream.

—

they came for you in the evening, a parade of maids and dressers and stylists, all chattering and fussing and pulling you in different directions. they bathed you in water scented with rose oil, scrubbed your skin until it glowed, brushed your hair until it shone like dark silk.

they dressed you in a gown of pale blue silk, the color of a winter sky. it was fitted through the bodice, cinched at the waist, the skirt flowing in soft layers to the floor. silver thread embroidered the hem, tiny stars and moons that caught the light when you moved. they placed a delicate silver circlet on your head, set with small sapphires that matched your eyes.

you looked beautiful, and yet, you felt like a corpse.

"your highness looks stunning," one of the maids gushed, adjusting the drape of your sleeve.

you said nothing. you just stared at your reflection in the mirror, at the stranger looking back at you. pale. hollow-eyed. dressed for a wedding that wasn't a wedding, a celebration that felt like a funeral.

"the duke will be enchanted!" another maid squealed, beaming.

you wanted to tell them that the duke could go to hell. that you'd rather throw yourself from the highest tower than dance with a man you'd never met, a man who was stealing you from the only person you'd ever loved.

but you said nothing. you just stood there, silent and still, as they finished their work and led you to the grand ballroom.

—

the ballroom was a blaze of light and color. hundreds of candles burned in crystal chandeliers overhead, casting a warm, golden glow over the assembled guests. the air was thick with the scent of perfume and wine and roasted meats, the sound of laughter and music and conversation a constant, buzzing hum.

you stood at the top of the stairs, your hand on the banister, your heart pounding. below, the crowd milled and mingled, a sea of silk and jewels and smiling faces. at the far end of the room, on a raised dais, sat your father on his throne, resplendent in his crown and robes.

and beside him, standing with an easy, confident posture that spoke of wealth and power, was a man you'd never seen before.

he was tall. impossibly tall. his hair was white—not gray, nor silver, but pure, startling white—and it stuck up in all directions, defying gravity and good sense. he wore a suit of deep blue velvet, tailored to perfection, with a high collar that framed his sharp jaw and high cheekbones. his eyes—

you couldn't see his eyes from this distance. but you could feel them. a weight. a presence. something magnetic and dangerous and utterly, infuriatingly self-assured.

the duke of the northern provinces. satoru gojo.

your betrothed.

your stomach turned.

"your highness," the herald announced, his voice booming across the room. "may i present the princess, first daughter of his royal majesty, betrothed to his grace, the duke of the northern provinces."

every head in the room turned. every eye fixed on you. the crowd parted, creating a path from the stairs to the dais, and you had no choice but to walk it.

you descended the stairs slowly, your chin lifted, your expression neutral. the gown whispered around your feet, the silver embroidery catching the light. you could feel the weight of hundreds of gazes on you, assessing, judging, admiring.

you reached the dais. your father stood, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

"daughter," he said, his voice warm for the benefit of the crowd. "you look radiant."

"father," you replied, your voice equally performative.

then your father turned to the duke, and you finally got a clear look at his face.

he was beautiful. there was no other word for it. sharp features, full lips curved in a lazy smile, skin pale and flawless. and his eyes—

his eyes were blue. not the soft blue of a winter sky, like your gown. but a vivid, electric, almost unnatural blue, like the heart of a flame. they were striking against his pale skin and white hair, and they were fixed on you with an intensity that made your breath catch.

"your highness," he said, and his voice was smooth, rich, amused. "you're even more beautiful than they said."

"your grace," you replied, curtsying. "the rumors didn't do you justice either."

his smile widened. "oh, i like her," he said to your father, as if you weren't standing right there. "she's got spirit."

"she does," your father agreed, his tone warning. "which is why she needs a firm hand."

you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from saying something you'd regret.

satoru offered you his arm. "shall we?"

you had no choice. you placed your hand on his sleeve, and he led you down from the dais to the center of the ballroom. the crowd parted before them, whispers following in their wake.

the orchestra struck up a waltz. satoru turned to you, one hand finding your waist, the other taking your hand. his grip was firm but not painful, his movements fluid and confident.

"relax," he murmured, his blue eyes searching your face. "i don't bite. unless you ask nicely."

you stiffened. "that's not funny."

"oh, come now! it was a little funny," he said, spinning you effortlessly. "try to smile, princess. we're supposed to be in love. or at least, pretending to be. you look like you're being led to the gallows."

"perhaps because i am," you said through gritted teeth.

he laughed. it was a bright, genuine sound that drew glances from nearby guests. "god, you're dramatic. it's refreshing. most women in this court are so boring."

"i'm not most women."

"no," he agreed, his gaze dropping to your lips for just a second before returning to your eyes. "you're not."

the dance continued. he was a skilled partner, guiding you through the steps with an ease that spoke of years of practice. but there was no warmth in it. no connection. just two people playing their parts.

"sooo," he said, his tone conversational. "tell me about yourself, princess. what do you enjoy? embroidery? poetry? plotting the downfall of your enemies?"

"sewing," you said flatly. "reading. avoiding tedious conversations with arrogant men."

"arrogant?" he repeated, feigning offense. "i prefer 'confidently self-aware.'"

"of course you do."

he spun you again, and as you turned, your eyes swept the room. the guests, the decorations, the musicians. and then—

your heart stopped.

there, at the edge of the dance floor, standing in the shadows behind a pillar, was choso.

he was wearing his motley. the same garish red and yellow, the same floppy hat with its tarnished bells. but he looked different. thinner. paler. the bruise on his cheek had darkened to a deep purple, and there were shadows under his eyes that spoke of sleepless nights.

he was staring at you.

even from this distance, even across the crowded ballroom, you could feel the weight of his gaze. it was heavy, aching, full of everything he couldn't say.

your breath caught. your step faltered. satoru tightened his grip on your waist, steadying you.

"careful," he said, his voice low. "you almost tripped."

"i'm fine," you said, but your voice was barely a whisper.

"who are you looking at?" satoru asked, his eyes following yours to the edge of the room

you forced yourself to look away. "no one."

"hmm, alright." he didn't sound convinced, but he busied himself with wrapping an arm around you waist.

the dance ended. the crowd applauded. satoru bowed, you curtsied, and then the herald's voice rang out again.

"and now, to entertain the happy couple on this joyous occasion, please welcome our court jester, choso!"

the applause was polite, scattered. choso stepped out from behind the pillar, into the light. the bells on his hat jingled softly as he walked, a sound that made your chest ache.

he reached the center of the ballroom, directly in front of the dais where your father sat. he didn't look at you. he couldn't. if he did, if your father saw the way his eyes lingered, the way his hands trembled—

"ladies and gentlemen!" choso began, his voice carrying across the room. it was steady, but just barely. "i have a few jokes for the happy couple!"

the crowd murmured, interested. your father leaned forward, his expression cold and expectant.

"what do you call a princess who's been promised to a duke?" choso asked, his tone light, almost cheerful. "sold!"

a few nervous laughs. your father's eyes narrowed

"why did the princess bring a ladder to the ball?" choso continued. "because she heard the marriage was a step up!!"

more laughs, louder this time. but they died quickly, swallowed by the tension in the room.

"what's the difference between a jester and a duke?" choso asked, and his voice cracked. just slightly. just enough for you to hear. "the duke always gets the girl, and the jester gets the whips!"

the courtroom fell into an awkward, void of silence.

choso stood there, his hands clenched at his sides, his shoulders rigid. he was looking at the floor, his hair hiding his face. but you could see the way his jaw was clenched, the way his breath came too fast.

your father stood. "enough," he said, his voice cold. "you've had your punishment. now sit down and be quiet."

choso didn't move. for a moment, you thought he might argue. might fight. might say something that would get him killed.

then he bowed. low and deep. a jester's bow, mocking and deferential all at once.

"of course, your majesty," he said, his voice hollow. "anything for the happy couple."

he turned and walked away, his bells jingling with each step. the crowd parted for him, their faces a mix of pity and amusement and discomfort.

you watched him go, your heart breaking all over again.

"well," satoru said beside you, his tone light. "that was depressing. your father's got a real flair for torture, doesn't he?"

you turned to look at him. he was watching you, his blue eyes sharp and knowing.

"you love him," he said. it wasn't a question.

you opened your mouth to deny it. to lie. to protect yourself. but the words simply wouldn't come.

satoru sighed, running a hand through his white hair. "this is going to be a long night."

you watched choso disappear into the shadows at the edge of the ballroom, the last jingle of his bells fading into the murmur of the crowd. your chest felt like it was being crushed under a stone. every instinct screamed at you to run after him, to find him, to hold him and never let go.

but you couldn't. not here. not with hundreds of eyes on you, not with your father watching from his throne like a hawk circling its prey.

"princess."

satoru's voice cut through your spiraling thoughts. you turned to find him studying you with those unnervingly blue eyes, his head tilted slightly, like a cat observing something curious.

"you're crying," he said, matter-of-fact.

you touched your cheek. he was right. tears had slipped free without you noticing, hot tracks down your flushed skin. you wiped them away quickly, glancing toward the dais. your father was deep in conversation with some lord, his attention momentarily diverted.

"i'm fine," you said, your voice brittle.

"you're not fine," satoru said. "you're standing at your engagement ball, crying over another man. that's the opposite of fine. that's a catastrophe."

you flinched. "please don't—"

"oh, relax," he said, his tone shifting. the lazy amusement was gone, replaced by something sharper. more serious. "i'm not going to tell anyone. despite what you clearly think of me, i'm not a complete bastard."

you stared at him, searching his face for the lie. for the trap. you found none.

"why?" you asked. "why would you help me?"

he shrugged, a fluid motion of his broad shoulders. "because i don't want to marry someone who's in love with someone else. call it self-interest. or call it basic human decency. i'm flexible with labels."

your heart hammered. "i didn't say—"

"you didn't have to," he interrupted. "the way you looked at him. the way you're still looking at the door he walked through. it's written all over your face, princess. you're not exactly subtle."

you opened your mouth to argue, to defend yourself, but the words died on your lips. what was the point? he was right. you were terrible at hiding your feelings. elara had seen it. your father had seen it. and now this stranger, this man you'd met barely an hour ago, had seen it too.

"what do you want from me?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

"nothing," he said. "i told you. i don't want a loveless marriage any more than you do. my father is pushing this alliance for political reasons. trade routes, border security, the usual boring nonsense. but i have no intention of forcing a woman to be with me against her will.

"then why agree to the betrothal at all?"

"because saying no to my father is... complicated," he said, and for the first time, something flickered in his eyes. something that might have been frustration, or resignation, or pain. "but that's my problem, not yours. right now, your problem is that jester, and the fact that your father looks like he's about to come over here and ask why you're having a private conversation with your betrothed instead of dancing."

you glanced at the dais. your father was indeed looking in your direction, his brow furrowed.

"so here's what's going to happen," satoru said, his voice dropping even lower. "i'm going to go distract your father. i'll challenge him to a game of chess, or bore him with stories about northern grain tariffs, or whatever it takes to keep his attention for the next ten minutes. and you—" he fixed you with a pointed look. "you're going to go find your jester."

your breath caught. "i can't. the guards—"

"are at the doors, not roaming the halls," he said. "the servants' corridor behind the tapestry on the left leads to the east wing. there's a staircase at the end that goes down to the lower levels. he'll be in the servants' quarters. third door on the right."

you stared at him, stunned. "how do you know that?"

"i make it my business to know the layout of every castle i enter," he said simply. "old habit. ten minutes, princess. that's what i can give you. use them wisely."

he turned to leave, then paused, looking back over his shoulder.

"and princess?"

"what?"

"when you see him—" his expression softened, just slightly. "tell him the duke said 'good luck'. it'll give you something to laugh about. you could use a laugh."

before you could respond, he was already walking toward the dais, his stride confident and unhurried. you watched as he approached your father, bowing with exaggerated flourish, his white hair catching the candlelight.

"your majesty!" satoru's voice carried across the room, bright and charming. "i was just telling your daughter about the chess set in my carriage. it's carved from ivory, imported from the eastern kingdoms. i'd love the chance to play you, if you're willing. i hear you're quite the strategist."

your father's face lit up. he loved chess. he loved it more than almost anything, except perhaps power. "is that so? well, your grace, i'd be happy to teach you a lesson or two."

"i look forward to it," satoru said, and as he followed your father toward the side room where the chess sets were kept, he glanced back at you. just once. a quick, almost imperceptible nod.

go.

you didn't hesitate.

you turned and walked quickly toward the edge of the ballroom, your heart pounding so hard you could hear it in your ears. the crowd parted for you—the princess, the betrothed, the center of attention—and you smiled and nodded and said all the right things while your mind raced.

the tapestry was exactly where satoru had said it would be. a massive woven depiction of a hunting scene, hanging on the left wall near the musicians' gallery. you glanced around, making sure no one was watching, then you slipped behind it.

the servants' corridor was narrow and dim, lit by a single torch at the far end. the air was cooler here, smelling of dust and old stone. you lifted the hem of your gown and hurried down the passage, your wretched heels whispering against the floor.

the staircase was steep and winding, spiraling down into the bowels of the castle. you descended quickly, your hand trailing along the cold stone wall for balance. the sounds of the ballroom faded above you, replaced by the distant clatter of pots and the low murmur of servants' voices.

the lower level was a maze of corridors and rooms—storerooms, kitchens, servants' quarters. you followed satoro's directions, turning left, then right, then left again, until you reached a narrow hallway lined with plain wooden doors.

third door on the right.

you stopped in front of it, your hand raised to knock. your heart was hammering. your palms were sweating. what would you say? what could you say? i'm sorry? i love you? please don't hate me?

you knocked.

silence.

you knocked again, harder this time. "choso?"

nothing.

your heart sank. he wasn't here. satoru had been wrong, or choso had been moved, or—

the door creaked open.

choso stood in the doorway, and the sight of him made your breath catch. he'd changed out of the motley. he was wearing a plain white shirt, untucked, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. his hair was damp, like he'd just washed his face. the bruise on his cheek looked worse in the dim light, a dark smear against his pale skin.

he stared at you, his dark eyes wide with shock.

"princess?" he whispered, like he couldn't believe you were real. "what are you—you can't be here. if anyone sees—"

"satoru is distracting my father," you said quickly. "we don't have much time. ten minutes. maybe less."

"satoru?" he repeated, confused.

"the duke. my—" you couldn't say the word. betrothed. it felt like a betrayal just thinking it. "he knows. about us. and he's helping."

choso stared at you, his expression cycling through disbelief, confusion, and something that might have been hope. "why would he help?"

"because he's not the monster my father is," you said. "and because he doesn't want to marry someone who loves someone else."

choso flinched at the word. loves. you'd said it without thinking, and now it hung in the air between you, heavy and undeniable.

"you shouldn't be here," he said, but his voice was weak, unconvincing. "if your father finds out—"

"i don't care," you said, and you stepped forward, into the room. it was small, sparse—a narrow bed, a wooden chair, a single candle burning on a rough-hewn table. a prison cell dressed up as a bedroom. "i don't care what my father does. i don't care about the marriage, or the alliance, or any of it. i just—"

your voice broke. the tears you'd been holding back all night came flooding forward, hot and relentless.

"i just needed to see you," you whispered. "i needed to know you were okay. i needed to tell you that i'm sorry. that this is my fault. that i never should have let you come to my chambers. that i—"

"stop," he said, and his voice was rough, strained. "stop blaming yourself. this isn't your fault. it's mine. i'm the one who came to you. i'm the one who couldn't stay away. i'm the one who—"

he stopped, his jaw clenching. he looked away, his hands balling into fists at his sides.

"i'm the one who ruined everything," he said quietly.

"you didn't ruin anything," you said, stepping closer. "my father ruined everything. this castle, this life, this—" you gestured helplessly at the space between you. "this prison. you're the only good thing in it.

the words broke something open inside you. the tears came harder, faster, your shoulders shaking with sobs you couldn't control. all the fear, all the grief, all the helplessness of the past three days came pouring out at once.

"hey—hey, no—" choso's voice cracked, and then his arms were around you, pulling you against his chest. "please don't. please, baby— i can't—"

but you couldn't stop. you buried your face in his shirt, your fingers clutching the rough fabric, and you wept. for him, for yourself, for the future that was being stolen from you both.

"shh," he murmured, one hand cradling the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your carefully brushed hair. "shh, i've got you. i'm here."

"i c-can't marry him!" you sobbed against his chest. "i can't. i don't love him. i don't even know him. i love you. i love you and it's not fair—"

"i know," he whispered, and his voice was thick, strained. "i know, i know."

he held you tighter, his chin resting on top of your head, his heartbeat steady and strong against your cheek. you could feel the tension in his body, the way his arms trembled around you, like he was holding himself together by sheer force of will.

"look at me," he said softly.

you shook your head, pressing closer.

"please." his hand found your chin, tilting your face up with a gentleness that made your chest ache. "please, look at me."

you opened your eyes. his face was blurry through your tears, but you could see the anguish in his dark eyes, the way his jaw was clenched like he was fighting his own breakdown.

"my heart aches when you weep," he said, and his voice was barely a whisper. "it physically hurts. right here." he pressed his free hand against his chest, over his heart. "like something is breaking. and i can't—i can't fix it. i can't make it better. and that's worse than anything your father could ever do to me."

"choso—"

"let me finish." he swallowed hard, his thumb brushing away the tears on your cheek. his touch was so gentle, so careful, like you were made of glass. "i need you to know something. whatever happens tomorrow, or next week, or next month—whatever your father does, whatever that duke does—i need you to know that these past months with you have been the best of my life. the only good part. you made me feel like i was worth something. like i wasn't just a fool in a motley. like i was—"

his voice broke. he looked away, blinking hard.

"like you were what?" you whispered, your hand coming up to cup his cheek. his skin was warm, slightly rough with stubble. "tell me."

"like i was yours," he said, and the words were raw, stripped of all pretense. "like i belonged to someone."

you leaned up and kissed him.

it was soft at first. a press of lips, gentle and trembling. a question. a promise. his breath hitched against your mouth, and for a moment he was frozen, like he couldn't believe this was real.

then he kissed you back.

his hand slid from your chin to the back of your neck, fingers threading into your hair, and he pulled you closer. the kiss deepened, desperate and aching, tasting of salt and sorrow and something sweet underneath. you pressed yourself against him, your hands fisting in his shirt, trying to erase the space between you, trying to crawl inside his skin and stay there.

"i love you," you breathed against his lips. "i love you, i love you, i love you—"

"i know," he murmured, and he was smiling, you could feel it, even through the tears. "i know. i love you too. so much. too much."

"there's no such thing as too much," you said, and kissed him again.

he made a sound low in his throat, something between a groan and a whimper, and his arms wrapped around you completely, lifting you slightly off the ground. your feet left the floor and you gasped into his mouth, your arms looping around his neck.

"you're so warm," he whispered against your jaw, his lips trailing down to your neck. "so gorgeous. i dreamt about this. about you. every night."

"choso—" you tilted your head back, giving him access, and he took full advantage. his mouth found the sensitive spot below your ear, then the curve of your throat, then the hollow at the base of your neck where your pulse hammered.

"tell me to stop," he murmured against your skin. "tell me this is too much. tell me—"

"don't stop," you said, and your voice was stronger now, steadier. "don't you dare stop."

he pulled back just enough to look at you, his dark eyes searching your face. "are you sure? if anyone finds out—"

"i don't care," you said, and you meant it with every fiber of your being. "let them find out. let my father know. let the whole kingdom know. i don't care. i'd rather have this—have you—for one night than a lifetime with someone else."

something in his expression shifted. the fear didn't disappear, but it was joined by something else. something fierce and tender and achingly vulnerable.

"you mean that," he said. it wasn't a question.

"i mean it."

he kissed you again, slower this time. deeper. his hands slid down your back, tracing the curve of your spine through the silk of your gown, and you shivered.

"you're so beautiful," he murmured against your lips. "so beautiful it hurts me to look at you."

"you're not so bad yourself," you said, and he huffed a laugh, the sound warm and surprised.

"not so bad," he repeated, shaking his head. "that's the best you can do?"

"i'm a little distracted," you said, tugging at the hem of his shirt. "you're wearing too many clothes."

"so are you," he said, and his hands found the laces at the back of your gown. he hesitated, his fingers trembling. "are you sure? once we—i don't want you to regret—"

you silenced him with another kiss, your own hands pulling his shirt free from his trousers. "i have never been more sure of anything in my life."

he groaned, low and desperate, and then the laces were coming undone, the silk loosening around your body. the gown slipped from your shoulders, pooling at your feet in a whisper of fabric, and you stood before him in nothing but your thin shift, the candlelight painting your skin in gold and shadow.

choso stared at you like you were the sun. like you were the moon. like you were every star in the sky, and he was a man who'd been living in darkness his entire life.

"you're staring," you said, suddenly self-conscious.

"i know," he said, and his voice was reverent. "i can't help it."

he reached out, his cold fingers tracing the line of your collarbone, the curve of your shoulder, the swell of your breast through the thin fabric of your shift. you shivered, not from cold, but from the intensity of his touch, the way he looked at you like you were something sacred.

"you're shaking," he said softly.

"i'm nervous," you admitted. "i've never—i don't know what to do—"

"neither do i," he said, and the honesty of it made your heart swell. "we'll figure it out together."

he pulled his shirt over his head, and you saw him fully for the first time. he was lean but strong, his torso marked with faint scars—old ones, faded to thin white lines. a life lived in hardship, written on his skin. you reached out, tracing one that ran along his ribs.

"what's this from?" you asked.

"bar fight," he said. "i was fifteen. thought i was tougher than i was."

"and this?" another scar, on his shoulder.

"knife. different bar fight. i was sixteen and even stupider."

you laughed, the sound watery but real. "you were a troublemaker."

"i was a disaster," he corrected. "you're the first good thing that's ever happened to me."

you kissed the scar on his shoulder, then the one on his ribs, then the hollow of his throat where his pulse hammered against your lips. he shuddered, his hands coming up to frame your face.

"you're going to be the death of me," he whispered.

"good," you said. "then we'll die together."

"that's not funny."

"i mean, it's a little funny."

he laughed, and the sound was bright and broken and beautiful, and then he was kissing you again, walking you backward toward the narrow bed. the backs of your knees hit the mattress and you sat, looking up at him.

he knelt before you, his hands on your knees, his dark eyes full of so much love it made your chest ache.

"i want to remember this," he said softly. "every detail. the way you look at me. the way you smell like roses. the way your breath catches when i touch you. i want to carry this with me, no matter what happens."

"nothing is going to happen to you," you said fiercely. "i won't let it."

"princess—"

"don't call me that," you said, pulling him closer. "call me by my name. my real name."

he hesitated, then whispered it like a prayer. the name your mother gave you, the name only your closest family used. the name that meant you, not the crown.

"yes," you said, and pulled him down to you.

his mouth found yours again, hungry and desperate, his tongue sliding against yours in a rhythm that made your toes curl. you arched up into him, your hands sliding over the hard planes of his chest, feeling the way his heart hammered against his ribs. he was trembling, you realized. this man who'd faced your father's wrath without flinching, who'd stood in a ballroom full of nobles and made them laugh—he was trembling beneath your touch.

"you're shaking," you whispered against his lips.

"i know," he breathed. "i've wanted this for so long. wanted you. and now you're here and i'm terrified i'll do something wrong, that i'll hurt you, that—"

you silenced him by pulling his head down and kissing him hard, biting his lower lip just enough to make him groan. the sound vibrated through you, low and wrecked, and you felt it everywhere.

"you won't hurt me," you said. "i trust you."

something in him cracked open at that. his eyes went dark, almost black, and his hips rolled against yours. you gasped at the contact, at the hard length of him pressing against your thigh through the fabric of his trousers.

"fuck," he hissed, his forehead dropping to your shoulder. "you can't say things like that. i'm barely holding on as it is."

"then don't hold on," you said, and hitched your hip up against him.

he made a sound like a man dying—a choked, desperate moan that went straight through you. his hand slid up your thigh, pushing the thin fabric of your shift higher, his rough palm dragging against your bare skin. you whimpered, your legs falling open instinctively, and he groaned again, his fingers tracing the edge of your underwear.

"is this okay?" he asked, his voice wrecked.

"yes. god, yes. don't stop!"

his fingers slipped beneath the fabric, and you both gasped. he touched you carefully at first, almost reverently, his fingertips exploring the slick heat between your legs. you were wet—embarrassingly, overwhelmingly wet—and when his finger slid through your folds, you cried out, your hand flying to cover your mouth.

"quiet, princess." he murmured, but he was smiling. that small, devastating smile. "remember? we have to be quiet."

"then stop touching me like that and i won't have to be quiet," you hissed.

"never," he said, and slid a finger inside you.

the sound you made was barely human. your back arched off the bed, your walls clenching around the intrusion, and choso watched your face like it was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen.

"you're so tight," he breathed. "so— fuck, you feel—i can't even—"

he added a second finger, stretching you slowly, and you bit your lip hard enough to taste blood. the stretch burned, but it was a good burn, a burn that made your hips roll against his hand, chasing the sensation.

"more," you gasped. "p-please, choso— ah! more!"

"i don't want to hurt you," he said, but his fingers were already curling inside you, finding that spot that made your vision white out.

"you're not—oh god—you're not hurting me— you fool!"

he worked you open with his fingers, two then three, stretching you carefully, his thumb circling your clit in slow, maddening strokes. you were making sounds you didn't recognize—whimpers and moans and broken little cries that you muffled against his shoulder.

"that's it," he murmured against your ear. "that's my girl, let me hear you. i want to hear what i do to you."

"we have to be quiet—" you panted.

"then bite me," he said, and you did. you sank your teeth into the muscle of his shoulder and he groaned, his fingers pumping faster, harder, hitting that spot inside you that made your legs shake.

"choso—i'm—i think i'm going to—"

"i know," he said, and his thumb pressed harder against your clit. "i can feel it. you're squeezing my fingers so tight. let go, baby. let go for me."

the pet name undid you. you came with a sob muffled against his shoulder, your walls pulsing around his fingers, your whole body shaking with the force of it. he held you through it, his fingers still moving, drawing out the pleasure until you were gasping and oversensitive.

"too much!" you whimpered, pushing at his hand.

he withdrew his fingers slowly, and you watched, dazed, as he brought them to his mouth and sucked them clean. his eyes never left yours, and the sight of it—this serious, quiet man tasting you on his fingers with an expression of pure reverence—made your core clench with want.

"you taste like honey," he said, his voice rough. "i knew you would."

"choso," you breathed, pulling him down for a kiss. you could taste yourself on his tongue, sweet and musky, and it made you dizzy. "i want you. all of you. please."

he nodded, his hands going to the laces of his trousers. his fingers were shaking so badly he could barely work them, and you reached down to help, your own hands trembling. together, you pushed the fabric down his hips, and his cock sprang free.

you stared. he was hard—achingly, painfully hard—the tip flushed dark and leaking. he was bigger than you'd expected, thicker, and a flicker of nervousness ran through you.

"i'll go slow," he said, reading your expression. "i promise. if it's too much, you tell me and i'll stop. alright?"

"okay," you whispered.

he positioned himself between your legs, the head of his cock pressing against your entrance. you could feel the heat of him, the way he throbbed against your slick folds. he pushed forward, just the tip, and you gasped at the stretch.

"breathe," he murmured, his forehead pressed against yours. "breathe for me."

you breathed. he pushed in another inch, and the burn was intense, almost too much. your hands flew to his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin.

"shit—" he choked. "you're so tight. so fucking tight. you feel—god, you feel like heaven."

"m-more!" you said, even though it hurt. "i want a-all of you."

he sank into you slowly, inch by excruciating inch, giving you time to adjust. the stretch was enormous, bordering on painful, but underneath the pain was something else—a fullness, a completeness, like a piece of you that had been missing had finally clicked into place.

when he was fully seated inside you, you both went still. he was breathing hard, his arms trembling where they braced on either side of your head, his cock pulsing inside you.

"okay?" he asked, his voice strained.

"yeah," you whispered. "just—give me a second."

he kissed you softly, his lips moving against yours with a tenderness that made your eyes sting. then you rolled your hips experimentally, and you both groaned.

"move," you said. "please move."

he pulled out slowly, almost all the way, then pushed back in. the slide was easier this time, your body accommodating him, and the sensation was—

"oh," you breathed. "oh, that's—"

"y-yeah," he agreed, and did it again. and again. and again.

he found a rhythm, slow and deep, his hips rolling against yours in a way that made your toes curl. each thrust hit that spot inside you, the one his fingers had found, and pleasure built in your belly like a wave gathering strength.

"h-harder," you gasped. "choso, please, harder!"

he obliged, his hips snapping forward with more force. the bed creaked beneath you, the headboard knocking against the wall in a steady rhythm. you bit your lip to keep from crying out, but small, desperate sounds still escaped—whimpers and moans and broken little pleas.

"you feel so good," he groaned against your neck. "so fucking good. i-i never want to leave this. i never want to be anywhere but inside you."

"don't stop," you panted. "cho!"

he shifted his angle, hooking one of your legs over his arm, opening you wider, and the next thrust hit so deep you saw stars. you cried out, unable to help it, and he clapped a hand over your mouth.

"quiet, remember?" he said, but he was smiling. that devastating, beautiful smile. "or do you want the whole castle to know what we're doing?"

you bit his palm and he hissed, his hips stuttering.

"brat," he growled, and fucked into you harder.

the pleasure was building again, coiling tight in your belly, and you could feel your walls starting to clench around him. choso groaned, his rhythm faltering.

"you're squeezing me," he panted. "fuck, you're going to make me—i'm not going to last—"

"it's okay," you gasped. "let go. i've got you."

"not without you," he said, and his hand slid between your bodies, his thumb finding your clit again. he rubbed tight, fast circles, his cock hitting that spot inside you with every thrust, and the combination was devastating.

you came with a scream muffled against his hand, your walls clamping down on him so hard he choked. the orgasm ripped through you like a storm, wave after wave of pleasure that left you shaking and gasping and seeing white.

"fuck—fuck—" choso groaned, his hips stuttering, losing their rhythm. "i'm—i'm coming—"

"yes," you breathed. "yes, come inside me. i want to feel it."

he buried himself to the hilt and came with a broken cry, his cock pulsing deep inside you. you felt the heat of it, the way he filled you, and the sensation pushed you into another smaller orgasm that made you clench around him.

he collapsed on top of you, his weight pressing you into the mattress, both of you breathing hard. his face was buried in your neck, his breath hot and ragged against your skin.

"that was—" he started.

"incredible," you agreed.

you lay there for a long moment, tangled together, his cock still inside you, both of you trembling in the aftermath. the candle had burned low, casting long shadows across the room. somewhere above you, the ball was still going on. music drifted down through the floor, faint and distant.

"we should—" you started.

"i know," he said, but he didn't move.

"choso."

"i know," he said again, and pulled out slowly. you winced at the loss, at the ache between your legs. he rolled onto his back beside you, pulling you against his chest. you went willingly, curling into his side, your head resting over his heart.

"ten minutes is probably up," you said quietly.

"probably."

"we should get dressed."

"probably."

neither of you moved.

"i don't want to go back," you whispered. "i don't want to face them. my father, the duke, all of it."

"i know," he said, his hand stroking your hair. "but we have to. if we don't, they'll come looking for you. and then—"

"and then it'll be worse," you finished.

he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. "well, it might be better."

you pulled back to look at him, your heart hammering. "what?"

choso was staring at the ceiling, his jaw tight, his dark eyes burning with something fierce and desperate. "what if we run away? right now. tonight. we sneak out through the servants' entrance, past the stables. i know a man in the village who'll sell us horses for cheap. we could be gone before anyone even realizes you're missing."

"no way!—"

"i'm serious." he sat up, turning to face you. his hand found yours, cold fingers intertwining with your warm ones. "we could go north. past the mountains, into the free territories where your father's reach doesn't extend. we could find a small town, somewhere quiet. i could find work—real work, not juggling or jesting. and you could—"

"sew," you finished, your voice barely a whisper. "i could sew."

"yes." his eyes were bright, almost feverish. "we could have a life. a real life. not this—" he gestured around the sparse room, the narrow bed, the flickering candle. "not cages and crowns and men who think they own us."

your heart was pounding so hard you could hear it in your ears. the idea was insane. reckless. impossible. and yet—

"my father would hunt us," you said. "he'd send guards. he'd—"

"let him send them," choso said, and there was a fire in his voice you'd never heard before. "i'm not afraid of your father. i'm not afraid of his guards or his dukes or his armies. the only thing i'm afraid of is losing you. of standing in that ballroom and watching you marry another man. of living the rest of my life knowing i could have fought for you and didn't."

you stared at him, this man who'd been a jester, a fool, a man who couldn't make anyone laugh. but he wasn't a fool. he never had been. he was brave and fierce and so full of love it made your chest ache.

"you'd really do that?" you whispered. "give up everything? your home, your—"

"you are my home," he said simply. "you're the only home i've ever had."

your eyes burned. your vision blurred. you were crying again, but this time it wasn't from grief. it was from something else. something bright and terrifying and beautiful.

"yes," you said.

"yes?"

"yes. let's run. let's go. right now!"

his face transformed. the fear, the tension, the anguish—it all melted away, replaced by something radiant. something that looked like hope.

"you mean it?" he asked, his voice cracking.

"i mean it." you squeezed his hand. "i've never meant anything more."

he kissed you then, hard and desperate, his hands framing your face like you were the most precious thing in the world. you kissed him back with everything you had, pouring every ounce of love and fear and reckless, stupid hope into it.

then you pulled apart, both of you breathing hard.

"okay," you said, your mind racing. "okay. we need a plan. we can't just run out the door. we need—"

"clothes," he said. "money. supplies. i have a few coins hidden in my room. not much, but enough for horses and food for a few days."

"i have jewelry," you said, already thinking. "my mother's necklace. the sapphire earrings. they're worth a fortune. we could sell them in the village."

"your mother's necklace?" he repeated, his expression softening. "you'd give that up?"

"she'd want me to be happy," you said, and the words were true. your mother had died when you were seven, but you remembered her warmth, her laughter, the way she'd held you and told you that love was the only thing that mattered. "she'd want me to choose love."

choso's eyes glistened. he blinked hard, looking away. "okay. okay. so we get the jewelry, get the coins, get to the stables—"

"the guards," you interrupted. "there are two at my door. and more at every exit."

"the servants' entrance," he said. "it's unguarded after midnight. the servants use it to come and go. if we wait until the ball ends, until everyone is drunk and distracted—"

"we slip out with the servants," you finished. "yes. that could work."

"it has to work," he said. "because i'm not losing you. not now. not after—" his voice broke. "not after tonight."

you kissed him again, softer this time.

"we should get dressed," you said reluctantly. "before someone comes looking."

you both rose from the bed, and the absence of his warmth made you shiver. you found your shift on the floor, pulling it over your head, then stepped back into your gown. the silk felt different now. heavier. like a costume you were ready to shed.

choso helped you with the laces, his fingers steady now, no longer trembling. when he was done, he pressed a kiss to the back of your neck, and you felt it all the way down to your toes.

"there," he said. "perfect."

you turned to face him. he was pulling on his shirt, his trousers, covering up the body you'd just memorized. you wanted to tear the clothes off him again, to drag him back to that narrow bed and lose yourself in him.

but there wasn't time. there would be time later. a lifetime of time, if you were brave enough to take it.

"i need to go back to my chambers," you said. "get the jewelry. change into something less—" you gestured at the elaborate gown. "less conspicuous."

"meet me at the servants' entrance at two in the morning," he said. "that's when the last of the servants will be heading to bed. we'll slip out with them."

"two in the morning," you repeated. "i'll be there."

he cupped your face in his hands, his dark eyes searching yours. "if you change your mind—if this is too much, too dangerous—i'll understand. i'll go alone. i'll disappear. you can tell your father i kidnapped you, that you had no choice. he'll believe you. you can marry your duke and live a comfortable life and forget—"

"stop," you said firmly. "i'm not changing my mind. i'm not forgetting you. and i'm not marrying anyone but you."

his breath hitched. "you mean that?"

"every word."

he kissed you one last time, slowly and deeply, like he was trying to memorize the taste of you. then he pulled away, his hands dropping to his sides.

"go," he said. "before i change my mind and keep you here forever."

you smiled, even as your heart ached. "at two in the morning."

"at two in the morning."

you opened the door, checking the corridor. empty. you slipped out, your gown gathered in your hands, your heart pounding. you made it three steps before his voice stopped you.

"princess."

you turned. he was standing in the doorway, backlit by the candle, his dark eyes full of everything.

"i love you," he said. "i love you so much."

you giggled. "you're such a sap!"

his face broke into that devastating smile. "if being a sap gets me that laugh, then so be it."

you turned and walked away, your heart so full it hurt. the corridor stretched before you, dark and winding, but for the first time in your life, you weren't afraid of where it led.

you were going to run. you were going to be free. you were going to choose love.

and nothing—not your father, not his guards, not the duke with his electric blue eyes and his easy smile—was going to stop you.

—

you made it back to your chambers without incident. the guards at your door barely glanced at you as you slipped inside, your cheeks flushed, your hair slightly moussed, your gown rumpled in ways that would have given elara a heart attack.

but elara wasn't there. the room was empty, the fire burning low, the bed turned down.

you moved quickly, pulling open the drawer of your vanity where you kept your mother's jewelry. the necklace was there, nestled in its velvet box—a delicate gold chain with a single sapphire pendant, the same blue as your eyes. you clasped it around your neck, feeling the weight of it against your skin.

the earrings came next. small, elegant, catching the firelight. you tucked them into a small pouch, along with a few other pieces you thought you could sell. a ruby brooch. a pearl bracelet. your grandmother's ring.

then you changed. you stripped off the elaborate gown and pulled on a simple dress—dark blue, practical, with a hooded cloak draped over the back of a chair. you laced it yourself, your fingers steady despite the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

you packed a small bag. a change of clothes. a hairbrush. the handkerchief you'd sewn for him, the one with the embroidered roses. you tucked it into the bag, your fingers lingering on the stitches.

then you sat by the window and waited.

the hours crawled by. you watched the moon climb the sky, watched the candles in the ballroom below burn low, watched the guests begin to drift away. the music faded. the lights dimmed. the castle settled into an uneasy sleep.

one o'clock. one-thirty. one forty-five.

you stood, slinging the bag over your shoulder. your heart was pounding so hard you could feel it in your throat. this was it. the point of no return.

you opened your door. the guards were still there, but they were drowsy, leaning against the wall, their eyes half-closed.

"i'm going to the chapel," you said, your voice steady. "to pray. for my marriage."

the guards exchanged a glance. "your highness, it's nearly two in the morning—"

"i'm aware of the time," you said coolly. "are you going to stop me from praying?"

they stepped aside.

you walked past them, your chin high, your pace measured. you didn't run. you didn't look back. you just walked, calm and composed, until you were out of sight.

then you ran.

through the corridors, down the stairs, past the tapestry and into the servants' passage. your bag bounced against your hip, your breath came in short gasps, and your heart hammered against your ribs.

the servants' entrance was at the end of a long, narrow corridor. you could see it—a heavy wooden door, slightly ajar, cool night air seeping through the gap.

and there, leaning against the wall, waiting for you, was choso.

he'd changed too. he was wearing dark clothes—a simple tunic, trousers, sturdy boots. his motley was gone, and without it, he looked different. older. harder. like a man who'd made a decision and was ready to face the consequences.

he saw you and straightened, his dark eyes widening.

"you came," he breathed.

"i told you i would," you said.

he crossed the distance between you in two strides, his hands finding your waist, pulling you close. you went willingly, your arms looping around his neck, your forehead pressing against his.

"are you sure?" he asked one last time. "once we go through that door, there's no going back."

you pulled back to look at him. "i've never been more sure of anything."

he smiled. that small, devastating, beautiful smile. "then let's go."

he took your hand, his cold fingers intertwining with your warm ones, and together, you pushed open the door and stepped out into the night.

the air was cool and damp, carrying the scent of rain and earth and freedom. the moon hung low in the sky, casting silver light over the castle grounds. the stables were to the left, dark and quiet. the village beyond, a cluster of lights in the distance.

"ready?" choso asked.

you squeezed his hand. "ready."

and together, you escaped.

--

HEY YALL

tags :

babygirl : @sadisticslut666

After handing you your device, Choso turned away all awkwardly and calmly excused himself into his room for the night. This left you to watch him walk away with slightly confused eyes as you carried on with your call, shrugging off his sudden stiffness and figuring it was nothing too serious.

Which, in a way, it wasn't. The man nearly needed a moment away from you.

A moment long enough to take care of the leaking problem in his pants, that is.

As soon as he enters his room, he lightly shuts the door and lets his head push against it with a soft thump. One hand remains on the doorknob whilst the other is just barely keeping his body standing upright. It was like a switch had gone off in his head or something.

It hasn't even been a week with you yet and there's already one thing running rampant in his mind—sex.

Choso's known you for quite some time now, which is exactly why you moving in with him when he already had a spare bedroom only made sense. But to already be losing his head over something so small makes him feel shamed with the weight of guilt.

He shouldn't touch himself. He should ignore how hard he is right now. And should definitely not think about you if he does decide to act against those two things.

...Yeah, that goes straight out the window the moment he hears you laughing from the living room.

You're still on the phone and you'd have no reason to come into his room and check on him or anything so it should be okay, no? Getting off to you once won't hurt anyone.

Clasping his bottom lip neatly in between his teeth, Choso finally moves a hand down over the fully formed bulge poking out against his sweatpants. Maybe he won't even jerk off. Maybe he'll just rub at his cock until he cums.

That should be fine.

Right?

His hand carefully cups 'n grabs at the outline of his hard shaft, his bottom lip falling loose with a moderately noisy pant breaking free from his throat. "Fuck," Choso sears just under his breath as he squeezes his eyes shut.

He shouldn't be doing this. This is wrong. You just moved in!

His hand slides over slowly, letting the friction of fabric and his palm soothe his aching arousal just a bit.

What would you think if you saw him right now? You're only a few steps away from his door, sitting all pretty in his living room. Would you be disgusted by him if you knew how he rubbed his hand against his dick to the mere thought of you? Taking his other hand—the same one that held your phone and now carries the faintest bit of your scent—and slowly bringing it up to his nose to smell.

His palm reeks in your lotion. You must've used it recently, huh? Probably right before touching your phone for the last time, he thinks.

Choso's other hand squeezes around the head of his dick, feeling something nasty beginning to wet up his boxers. Fuck, he feels gross for doing this. He's all hunched up against his bedroom door, body flinching whenever he hears your voice a little clearer from beyond it, and cock jumping with each whiff he takes of his palm.

His mouth flails open a little and he nearly whines as his hand grips at his length a little tighter, slithering towards his shaft, and then letting his hips roll forward. The hand pressed up to his nose slips down to clasp over his mouth to conceal that pathetic sound, only worsening his situation as he realizes this means the smell of your lotion is practically smushed up to his lips now.

Choso feels his knees going weak all of a sudden and can't even help himself as he ditches the teasing rubbing and finally stuffs his hand down into his pants. His cock meets his hand raw with a throbbing heat he hadn't been expecting.

Quickly, before he starts letting out sounds too loud to conceal, he does his best to work himself up to an orgasm. Because of his hasty movements, it's not long before his hand is cramping up and he's jerkily thrusting his dick into his coiled fingers.

"A-Ah," Choso gasps, his lashes fluttering over something wet that'd unknowingly built up against his waterline.

Then there's a sudden knock at his door.

The poor guy nearly falls over, barely managing to grit his teeth and swallow the next array of sounds that threatened to leave him. His eyes stare down at the silhouette of your shadow under the door and he struggles to suppress a groan.

"Hey, I dunno if you're asleep already but," God, you sounded so sweet—how could he be doing this in thought of you? "I just wanted to let you know we're out of trash bags. Tried to text you but it wasn't going through."

Choso's standing here jerking off like some freak after touching something of yours and now you're standing on the other side of his door telling him you guys are out of trash bags?

How comedic.

Not that any of this stops his hand from moving. If anything, his cock feels wetter as he continues on to the sound of each word leaving your lips. Then he presses his face against his door and murmurs, "M-Mhm, thanks for... letting me know. I'll get more t-tomorrow," He grunts out.

Little did he know, his movements had only become smoother because he already came from the moment you knocked on the door. Now his briefs were filled with cum, his hand felt disgustingly sticky, and...

And you have absolutely no idea. You haven't the slightest clue that he just did something wildly perverted in your name.

Or so he thought.

——

Day Fifteen: Missing Hoodies.

A little over two weeks in and Choso's issue has only gotten worse. On the bright side of things, at least he's not the only one slowly losing his sanity in all this.

Because surely if you weren't losing your mind just as much as he was then you'd have moved out by now. Even though he's sure you're not aware of any of the things he's done so far like steal your panties just before laundry day, stuff his nose into your bath towel mere minutes after you've showered, and even use that same lotion of yours to jerk himself off.

But again, Choso is pretty sure that if you knew about any of those things he's done then you would've been out of here faster than you came in. Better yet, faster than he cums whenever you're in mind.

Which is pretty damn fast.

It's on this fifteenth day that Choso loses his first hoodie. It's a plain grey hoodie, but he noticed it's disappearance rather quickly because the last time he wore it was on the day he last spoke to Yuji—and everyone knows how attentive this man gets when it comes to his siblings.

So imagine his surprise when he's tearing his room up trying to find that hoodie to no avail. A small frown takes over his face and he lets out a long sigh before trudging out his room and towards yours.

Knocking thrice, "Are you busy?" Choso asks carefully, ears slightly quirking up at the distant sound of your bedsheets being shuffled about.

Part of him wonders what you were up to.

"If so, don't worry about it," He adds on shortly after. You hadn't even said anything yet and he was already nervous. "I didn't mean to interrupt—"

The door swings open and you're greeting him with your breath seeming as though it's lost it's way into your lungs properly. "You're not interrupting anything, Choso. What's up?" You hum rather sweetly.

"I was just wondering if you'd seen my uh-," He cuts himself short as his eyes helplessly fall downwards. Perhaps he was dreaming or something because surely you're not wearing the very thing he came looking for? Choso's hand draws up as he unintentionally points at your chest, "Is that my hoodie?"

You look down at yourself and then back up at him and shrug, "I dunno, is it?"

Maybe it was the dim hallway lighting but you swear Choso's face is getting redder by the second, a cute hue of pink flushing out over his cheek and noticeable around the dark ink stretching across the bridge of his nose.

Then his hand flies up to the back of his head, scratching beneath his dark, loose locks of hair, "Well, unless we have the same hoodie... m'pretty sure that's mine." He mumbles on.

"Oh." Is the only warning he receives before he watches your hands meet the bottom of that same hoodie, and then lift.

Oh fuck. Choso's eyes widen and all the hairs at the back of his neck seem to stand up as he watches the way you thoughtlessly pull his hoodie off of your body, revealing the very sheer tank-top you have on underneath and the lack of pants below that.

While living with you was easy, truly, there were times like this where Choso wondered if you even saw him as a man. Or if maybe you were just really comfortable around him. Because in what other world would you take off his hoodie right in front of him whilst clad in nothing more than a tank-top and a dark purple pair of panties that he's all too familiar with?

Not that you knew about the last part of that but, still. He's allowed what feels like a minute of staring and drooling before his face is met with that same hoodie of his!

"Was that all?" You ask smoothly, as if you hadn't nearly flashed him and then thrown his own clothes back at him like it was nothing.

His head nods rapidly from beneath his sweatshirt, refusing to move his body just yet in fear of where his hands may find themselves, and waiting until he hears your bedroom door shut again.

As he's left in the hallway to his own devices, Choso's slow to remove the jacket from his head. He holds it out to inspect for a moment and notices a wet patch near the ends of it. His mind immediately goes somewhere dirty.

Did you... use his hoodie how he wants to think you did?

Choso looks back up at your door and gulps. Then his mouth twitches and before he knows it, he’s smiling rather smug-like. If his thoughts are correct then that would mean you got off to how he smells and—he brings his hoodie up to his nose and inhales—luckily for him, the cologne this fabric in particular is doused in, just so happens to be his favorite.

Which is exactly why Choso goes on to make said cologne his only scent.

Following this little act of his is an abundance of his shirts and hoodies going missing. You only got caught wearing them just that one time but, he doesn’t need to see you in his clothes to know you’re the one stealing them.

It’s quite obvious, in his humble opinion. No matter how many times you come to tell him he must’ve lost it or misplaced it somewhere. As if. The man barely leaves the apartment!

And while that’s nothing to brag about, it is undoubtedly the truth.

——

Day Thirty-Four: Indirect Cumshots.

This is where things really start to go from bad, to worse.

The two of you now have a mutual habit of stealing one another’s clothes. You know for sure Choso gets off with your stuff since he mostly takes your panties, skirts, bras, shirts, shorts, and shoelaces?!—all in that order.

What other use for these items could he possibly have if not for sexual satisfaction?

The same questions travels throughout Choso’s mind whenever he wonders why his shirts, hoodies, and jackets go missing. Except, his only issue with it—outside of it being an inconvenience whenever he needs to dress himself—is that he’s still not fully sure whether or not he’s right about your use for them.

Especially since you’ve worn a few of his clothes around the apartment without a care in the world, blaming it on the mixed laundry whenever asked about it. Naturally he believes you, but he can’t deny the fact that he desperately hopes you’re lying to him.

Just the thought of you having your nose buried into his clothes while your fingers play with the neglected cunt in between your legs, your thighs clenching whenever you get close, and mouth breathing out moans of his name makes Choso’s mind go blank.

He’s never had sex before so he hopes that doesn’t turn you off—wanting nothing more than for it to be you that changes this some day.

Above all that, and back to this whole clothing fiasco, Choso has found another way to satisfy his doubts.

In the event that you really weren’t taking his clothes to fuck yourself in, he had a backup plan. By this point Choso had accepted the fact that he’d become nothing more than a dirty pervert since you moved in. So much so that he figured if he could jerk off to indirect kisses from you…

…He could indirectly cum on you too.

Now, now, he knows that sounds bad at first. But he swears it’s really not!

It technically started when he accidentally came on one of your blankets.

He’d been in the living room—doing what any perv would do—rubbing his bare cock against the last place in which you’d sat on the couch. You weren’t home so he wasn’t worried at all about getting caught, thrusting his dick all slanted against the cushions, and letting his precum smear sloppily all over where you were sitting.

“Nngh-,” Choso cared little about holding back his sounds whenever you weren’t home, this moment being the most prime example of this.

His hand loosely kept his cock from sliding all over the place, thumb lightly hovering over his base so that he could have some sort of rhythm in his movements.

He was bare naked, whole body flushed from how hot ‘n bothered he found himself. You looked especially pretty that day. He doesn’t even remember where you said you were going but he does remember the glimpse of your panties he got when you got up from the couch and walked over towards the door in that unfairly short skirt of yours.

It was the same black pair he fucked his cockhead against just three days ago and now you were wearing them and you didn’t have the slightest clue. That fabric would be hugging your pussy for hours and you were oblivious to the fact that his cum had been pooling against it not too long ago.

Fuck, the thought drives him straight over the edge, causing him to stumble against the couch as he fists at his dick. Choso tosses his head back and begins to fuck his hand imagining it was you—gushy spurts of cum spilling out from his plump head in varying directions before he even realizes it.

Heavy pants departed from his mouth as he stroked himself through his high and let whimpers exit his throat. By the time he calmed down, he looked below himself to see that he not only came all over your seat—the splatter of his cum mirroring the way it probably would if he ever came on your ass—but he also accidentally shot some of it onto your blanket.

The same blanket you bury your face under whenever you two watch a movie that’s a little too gruesome, the same blanket you cuddle yourself under, and the same blanket that sometimes get smothered in between your thighs whenever you have it hugging your body a certain way.

Choso tilts his head a little and that’s when it hits him. Just like the time you two had shared a water bottle and indirectly kissed… him cumming on your favorite blanket is no different than him cumming on you, right?

His brows meet. Is that bad to think? If he cums on more of your stuff, does that mean he’s always cumming on you?

Has he technically finished inside you since he’s done so inside your panties more times than he can count?

Shit.

It’s from then on that Choso begins to purposefully release a load on things you use all the time. And just as doing this to your blanket has been one of the most perverted things he'd done so far, so was doing the same to your favorite mug.

He just woke up with the fattest tent in his pants that morning, he had to do something about it! And you can’t blame him when he ignored the erection and joined you for breakfast anyway, watching your lips mold themself around the rim of the dish, gulping deeply until the liquid inside was all gone...

Choso barely felt like himself after you left. He rushed into the kitchen and searched the sink for the cup you used, pulling his cock out and letting it slap against the porcelain. He’s sure this is your favorite mug because of how expensive it is so he knew he had to be careful.

Even so, that didn’t stop him from dragging his dick around its edges—right where your lips and tongue had been. After which he spent the next few minutes emptying his balls into the mug until it was a quarter full with his seed.

This was by far the most depraved thing he’d done so far.

Only for that feeling to get worse in his chest when he watched you use the same cup the following morning, humming at a slightly different pitch as if a new flavor had been added to your beverage.

He couldn’t bear to meet your eyes afterwards. You basically just drank his cum and you didn’t know.

That’s horrible. You’d totally hate him if—

“Did you buy a new dish soap or something?” Your voice breaks him away from his thoughts of impending guilt.

Choso’s head flies up and his eyes, wide and dopey brown, set on you with that intensive warmth you always enjoy. “Huh?” He gapes.

You grin, “I asked if you bought a new dish soap.” Then you shrug all cheekily, “My mug smells really nice for some reason.”

Yeah, probably because he spent an hour cleaning it after he did something so sinful to it…

Your roommate shakes his head, “No, no, I didn’t buy anything new.” He tells you.

The conversation ends around there as you nod and then return to your breakfast, thinking nothing more of it.

Meanwhile Choso feels guilt in between his legs stirring up again and some weird sense of pride in his chest swelling.

Which is exactly why he doesn’t stop there. Although he always cleans up thoroughly after these indirect cumshots of his—it never fails to fill him with pride when he watches you use the same things he’s soiled.

Forks, spoons, straws—which were hell to clean—your phone while you were sleeping one time, pictures of you, etc. In more ways than one, Choso’s basically marked and claimed you as his own via spilling his seed all over you.

——

Day Forty-Eight: Shame? Never heard of her.

The cumshots were one thing, of course. Starting to see your face in every pornographic video he watches is another. So is lightly stroking himself while sitting right next to you and talking to you about his day.

But fucking your pillow when you’re not home, pretending that it’s you, while playing some random audio of yours in the background? Now that was the final straw.

Choso can't even begin to explain nor understand what exactly has gotten into him.

At least when he'd done all those other nasty things with you in mind, he felt bad directly after the fact—apologizing to you via being extra sweet and kind in ways that'd earn him lovely praises from you in return.

It seems like that's a lost art to him now, though.

The man had walked into your room in search of his headphones, the ones he let you borrow last night and now needs to properly enjoy his porn. He hadn't planned to do anything dirty in your room. No, never.

But when he got in there he was thrown off by you leaving a pair of panties on your bed. Not just any pair though, the red pair.

Now, these panties in particular had a bit of a story to them. Choso knows you only wear them when you go out to hook-up with somebody and if they’re sitting on your bed now, that means you saw someone recently or were planning to.

Either way, he doesn’t really want that to happen.

He hasn’t quite revealed any of his intentions nor feelings to you (or at least he doesn’t think he has), but that doesn’t mean he’s immune to feeling possessive over you. You were his roommate, after all.

Maybe this is why he ends up on your bed, grabbing the pillow you sleep on and hauling it up towards his face for a good sniff. The fumes flow through his nostrils and send a rush of blood straight down to his cock.

Partially because he can smell remnants of his cologne lingering in the cottony fabric, which could only mean one thing—you'd slept in his clothes before. Or something like that, anyway.

Halfway through his pillow sniffing, and with a half-hard cock forming in his pants, he hears his phone chime from within his pocket. The chime in question is one he specifically set for you so he wastes not even a second digging for his phone and pulling it out.

Your contact sits center on his screen as it unlocks, revealing to him a voice message you'd just sent.

Choso gulps.

You've sent him a few voice messages in the past, having felt too lazy to type stuff out, but it never fails to make him nervous before pressing play. And right now was absolutely no different.

"Hey Cho, when you get a chance—hahh, shit." Oh? Do his ears decieve him or was that a breathy pant from you? Rewinding the recording a few seconds, "Hey Cho, when you get a chance—hahh, shit. Sor-," He cuts the voice message off and then follows suit with his phone, turning it over and looking up to the ceiling for the moment.

Did you... have any idea of the things you did to this man?

Tossing the question, he tries again.

"Hey Cho, when you get a chance—hahh, shit." There's a short pause as he hears you taking a deep breath, "Sorry, when you get a chance, can you order takeout from the same place as last week before I get home?"

Takeout, of course. Of course. What else would you have sent him a voice message for?

...Certainly not for what he was about to do with it.

You were out at the gym so that little pant of yours should've been expected but he must've forgotten by the time he played the message. His thumb keeps finding itself repeating the same part of your recording, within the first few seconds when that pant, followed by a sweet curse of exhaustion dares to leave your lips.

It's stupid, really. You made one little noise and said one word he's heard from you a thousand times and yet he's already plopping down on your bed, your pillow still in hand, and his legs slowly spreading out so his poor, hardening cock has room to breathe.

Then Choso saves the message to his phone, not thinking twice as he goes on to edit it within his camera roll so that the few seconds of panting and cursing can replay over and over until he's had his fill of it.

After a good five times of replaying those gorgeous few seconds you'd given him, an idea Choso simply cannot ignore is born.

He doesn't recognize himself at all as he tosses your pillow over, snatches up those panties you had lying around and turns around to hover over the two items.

This is so fucked, and he knows it but it's hard to care. One moment he's starring at the assortment of material he has here and the next, he's got your pillow snug under the fabric of your panties. His thumb traces the edge of it just as it would if you were wearing them, swiping up heavily against the center where your pretty slit would be.

Fuck, he should stop.

His thumb glides back down and he shifts against the mattress, knees digging into the plush of it, and hot breaths tumbling out of his lungs. Then his fingers pinch at each side of your panties before he tugs, cleanly ripping the cloth just enough to create a small hole.

He winces upon doing so, knowing damn well he's getting worse by the second.

Choso pauses for a moment and grabs his phone to open his photos. His thumb swiftly swipes through his camera roll until he finds a picture of you, and along with it, he's managed to have your little panting curse combo playing on repeat.

And that's all he needed because now he's got a hole ripped into your pillow and although it was very cottony wrapping around the head of his dick, he couldn't be bothered to care. His imagination was running rampant and all he could picture was you splayed out beneath him, letting him use your body to strip him of his virginity.

He's so sure of how absolutely warm your pussy would be, despite never being inside one or even setting his eyes on one (in person) before. You'd squeeze him nice 'n tight, wouldn't you? Suck him in deeper even when he knows he can't handle that and tries to pull himself back?

God, he's getting dizzy in his own arousal and his precum is serving as lube inside this stupidly dry pillow of yours. It doesn't even feel good but every time he opens his eyes and sees your panties ripped open, his cock bulging in between where he'd torn them, he cares less and less.

Not to mention how you'll be sleeping on this same pillow soon, so the faster he cums inside of it, the faster he can say he's indirectly spilled his cum on your face.

Which is precisely why his hips are picking up their pace, even as he falls over and ends up having to hold his hunched body up with one very unsteady hand.

"Fuck," The curse falls from his lips in sync with the one that fell from yours in that recording—which is still playing in the background of his misdeeds, by the way. Then his visions suddenly become clearer while his movements grow more janky, eyes journeying to the back of his skull in pure bliss.

He swears he can see you under him right now, feel the pretty walls of your pussy clenching around his cock because it's too big for you to take with the way he's rutting forward right now. You'd tell him to slow down a little, no?

Choso steadies the pace of his pelvis just a faction as he catches his breath, "Gonna cum soon." He whispers to the imaginative version of you he's got underneath him.

How would your hands feel pushing or even pulling at his waist, trying to get him to reach deeper inside you despite his dick being much too big for you? Is it cocky of him to think that?

His bottom lip fwips out a little as he pouts, eyes growing teary from how stimulating this is for him. He's never wanted to fuck someone so badly. All these weeks of teasing and sneaking around to commit the most debauched of acts in your name... when would things come to a breaking point? When would you catch onto the hints he's not even throwing??

Ugh, all these questions leave Choso frustrated. So frustrated that now he's applied all his weight to your pillow, fulling humping his fat cock into the makeshift hole. You'd feel so much better than this stupid pillow but the realization of that does little to stop his fingertips from digging into your sheets as he grits his teeth and then spills his first load into it.

"Fuckfuckfuck-," Choso mutters under his breath as he tugs all his inches back a little before diving them right back in. His seed floods throughout the cottony insides of your cushion, making everything creamy.

He ends up having to bite down on your sheets just to hold back the sounds he begins to let out as he drives himself straight into overstimulation with a lack of halting his movements. You'd let him do this to you, right? Fuck multiple loads into you? Breed you?

Hell, what does Choso—who spends majority of his time thinking and fantasizing about you without ever feeling the sexual touch of a woman—know about breeding?

All these damn questions have had the man so distracted that he never realized how much his hand had bumped into his idle phone screen, having somehow managed to capture all of his past few events—which consisted of him moaning your name out and muttering filthy things he doesn't much understand—on camera.

But, that's not the worst part about all this.

The worst part about all this is that by the time Choso finishes up with properly breeding your pillow, he went to finally swipe his phone up, and in doing so he hit send on everything he just recorded.

Now, bear in mind that you never received any sort of response to your innocent takeout request. So really imagine your shock to hear nearly twenty minutes worth of audio porn from your roommate. Actually, scratch that, imagine how quickly you got wet from opening your text thread with Choso to see a video from him.

Because it wasn't just audio he'd accidentally captured, but an entire production of him fucking your pillow.

Shit.

——

Day Sixty-Nine: The Copy-Cock Incident.

Ever since that day, things have been weird between you and Choso.

You came home and didn't say a word to him, didn't even look at him or acknowledge him, and proceeded to hide away in your room for... the next few days or so.

By the time Choso saw you again, you pretended to be completely normal and made him feel like you'd forgotten all about the video he sent you. In fact, you even talk to him as if he'd never done anything wrong.

Weird.

The man was naturally uneasy around you for every day that followed, feeling his skin crawl with guilt every single time he was in front of you. There was nothing he could do about it either, anytime he tried to bring it up or apologize, you'd shut the conversation down or change the subject. It was almost like you didn't want him to apologize for it.

Does that mean you were silently thanking him for it? Did you perhaps like the video?

Choso's unsure. Like, severely unsure.

If you thought he was nervous and awkward around you before than he's gotten a million times worse after the whole video thing.

But today—the sixty ninth day in which you've been living with him—he's finally given the clearest answer to all his questions. All his awkwardness and shyness flies straight out the window the moment Choso comes home to see you sitting rather weirdly in his designated spot on the couch.

He made small talk with you while grabbing a bottle of water for himself from the kitchen, hearing this notable waver in your voice that he simply couldn't ignore.

What Choso didn't know quite yet was that he'd came home far earlier than you expected him to. So now you were left to maintain casual conversation with him as if there wasn't inches of thick silicone stuffed inside your cunt right now.

"—and they're dropping a sequel too, can you believe it?" Choso's voice reverberates throughout the fine walls of your apartment and your hips squirm slightly.

You don't think he ever noticed it but you always found his voice to be especially sexy. And after you got that video of him fucking your pillow—which you've replayed a concerning amount of times since—you think your attraction to his voice has only worsened.

You never knew someone with a tone that deep could whimper and whine so sweetly. The mere reminiscent thought of it has you lifting your body up an inch or two, before you sink back down onto the dildo you have beneath you.

Then your eyes threaten to close and you nibble on your bottom lip to stop yourself from making any sudden noises.

Clearing your throat instead, "Really? That sounds—"

"Are you okay?" Choso cuts off, having fully entered the living room with you now.

His eyes narrow at you as you make contact with them, watching how he's got a single brow cocked up and one hand at his hip—the other busy drawing his perspiring bottle of water up to his lips. Instead of answering him immediately, you sit there and watch the movement of his mouth for an unhealthy number of seconds.

Choso's lips press against the opening of his water oh-so-effortlessly, his tongue swiping out to capture any liquid that imperils to escape his mouth, and his throat shifting along with each unwavering gulp he takes.

When his mouth detaches from the bottle, your eyes are glued to the small breath he lets out before he tilts his head. Then his hand waves out your way, "Hello?"

You shake out of your little daze and cringe at yourself internally, "Huh? Oh-, yeah, mhm. I-I'm fine."

Choso nods his head slowly as if he definitely does not believe you. Then you see the way his eyes drop down to the blanket concealing your lower half, and his feet move against the floor to carry him over to the empty spot on the couch beside you. "Are you sure? You look a little..." His eyelid lower a fraction and he clears his throat, "Stiff?"

You wanted to move around and reposition yourself to show him that you're totally fine but it was a little difficult to do so when you had a sex toy poking up inside you. "I'm fine, Cho. Don't worry about it," You tell him.

He's entirely unconvinced. After living with you for a little over two months, he can confidently say he knows you and your body language like the back of his hand.

So, he leans back against the couch—eyes still trained on your ever little move—and then rests one of his arms against the backside of it, leaning closer to you. "It's kinda hard not to worry about it when you're looking at me like that."

You blink. "Like what?"

"Like you've been caught doing something wrong," He says with a breathless scoff following, "Did something happen?"

"N-No," You breathe out as quickly as you can.

Choso's gaze gets impossibly firmer on you, "You're lying."

Looking away for a split second, your arms move to fold beneath your chest, "Since when did you become so intuitive?"

"I've always been this intuitive," He tells you.

An uncomfortable beat of silence passes, and unfortunately for you, his talking is not helping your situation right now. Every word that vacates his mouth has you soaking both the item you're sitting on and the couch below it.

"So," His fingers idly drum against the back of the couch, "Are you gonna tell me what's wrong or...?"

You scoff, "Nothing's wrong, Choso."

He waits exactly ten loooong seconds before cracking a smirk, "So move."

"What?" You gasp.

He's still starring at you with the same unconvinced look on his face, "If there's nothing wrong, move."

You wave your arm out in a dismissive gesture before rolling your eyes and turning your head elsewhere, "You're being annoying over nothing."

Choso sizes you up, drinking in every inch of your noticeably rigid frame. "And something's wrong with you but you won't tell me what. Are you in pain? Did you hurt yourself in an embarrassing way? C'mon, if that's the case, I promise I won't make fun of you for it."

God, you hated when he acted like this. Sometimes Choso cared too much for his own good. He almost walked in on you touching yourself one night and wouldn't leave you alone until he set his eyes on your face to make sure you were okay.

You turn your head back towards him and sigh. You knew he knew what was going on here. Otherwise, why would he be pressing you to tell him what you were up to like this?

"You walked in at a bad time, that's all," You admit to him.

Choso's brows scrunch up all cutely, innocence etched into his sight as it softens on you. "What do you mean?"

How the fuck are you supposed to explain that you were in the middle of bouncing up and down a dildo—that's actually a direct copy of his cock—just moments before he walked in, and now the damn thing is nestled inside you??

"Well," You pause, heart racing a mile a minute as he stares you down like you're the only person who's every word has had him on the edge of his very seat. Then you start to fidget with your fingers in your lap and let your eyes drift away, "I was in the middle of something, and—"

You notice his legs spreading apart and his hips rolling up slowly from your peripherals. Before you can even finish, "In the middle of what?" Choso asks.

He knows.

You look at his face, and the way he's staring at you now is enough to make the heat pooling below get impossibly hotter. You can't help but squeeze your legs together, which causes the cock inside you to slip deeper.

Then your face twists up in reaction before you can help it and Choso watches the entire thing—not missing the movement in your thighs, the breathy moan you let out, and the way your fingers curl into the blanket you have neatly clutched over your body.

Oh.

Choso drags his slightly salivating tongue over his lips to wet them and then releases a short, unnerved chuckle. "I interrupted you, huh?" He asks rhetorically, voice husking a pitch deeper.

You nod your head, aching to move your body to satisfy yourself again.

"Are you embarrassed?" He goes on, trying his hardest not to move his legs out of fear you'll finally notice the boner he's been sporting this entire time.

"O-Obviously," You stammer, "But, I don't wanna talk about it. Just—"

"Don't talk then," He huffs, feeling something starved resting all thickly against the tip of his tongue. "And don't let me stop you."

Your breath tangles, "What?"

His eyes glide up and down your body thrice—seamlessly undressing you through those desperately blown-out pupils of his. "...You were playing with yourself, right?" He questions lowly.

"Something like that, yeah,” You reply.

A singular moment passes between you two before he finally says fuck it and looks at your face, "Can I watch?"

Your cunt involuntarily clenches around the dildo and you squirm, "Choso, I..."

He gives you a surprisingly calm, reassuring smile, “You know you can say no, ri—"

"I know that!" You huff, turning away as your face burns from the heat of embarrassment.

Then, without giving him a vocal answer, you finally shift around in your seat. He watches as you lean back against the corner-part of the couch and move your hand to the blankets edge before lifting it.

The first thing he notices as the cover is removed is that you're in his hoodie—the one he just wore yesterday!

You slouch your body a bit and move the blanket to the side as you slip from sitting to laying back, peeling your legs apart nice ‘n wide to give him the most sinful display of that dildo sliding a few inches out of you. Then your hand reaches down to make contact with the base of it and you bite your lip before languidly pulling it out of you.

Your pussy lips hug the silicone neatly whilst it schlicks its way out of your hole and you release a breath you weren’t aware you’d been holding in. There’s a droopy string of your slick dangling from in between the dildo’s glossy tip and your pulsing entrance—all of which Choso’s is left to peer at.

You redirect the toy’s weighty tip towards your clit and roll it around slowly before tossing your head back a little and sighing in relief.

"Ohgod-," Your roommate chokes into the palm he’d slapped over his mouth all of a sudden.

His body jolts and his other fingertips dip and grind into the couch as he tries to steady himself, holding on so tight that the veins trailing his arms begin to protrude out against his muscular arms. Something in between a throaty grunt and a whine had been ripped out of his throat.

You look over at him from beneath your lashes before batting them, "Are you okay? You're the one who wanted to watch..."

He nods shortly, mumbling, "M-Mhm, m'fine."

As if you’d believe that.

You raise a brow and move the silicone away from your cunt before snorting, "Why're you making that face then?"

"Well, I kinda..." He turns his blushing face away from you completely. Voice small, "Watching that made me cum..."

"What?” You lean up a bit, propping your body up more comfortably against your elbows, “I couldn't hear you, speak up."

Choso thinks his cock is gonna hurt after all this. He turns to face you again and looks you dead in the eyes as he speaks softly, "Watching you do that made me cum."

You blink dumbfoundedly as you find yourself unable to stop the amused smile that breaks into your features, "Just like that?"

He nods.

"You didn't even touch yourself..." You snort, looking down at yourself and shrugging as you tap the dildo against your pussy. Speaking casually, "I know you're a perv 'n all but, shit, I thought you'd last a little longer than that."

Choso’s entire world freezes, "Wait, what?"

"Mmnh," You’re busy moaning as you let the tip play with your entrance—teasing yourself shamelessly right in front of him.

The fact that you just admitted you’d known he was a filthy pervert all this time, and then went back to playing with yourself like it was nothing really threw him off.

Not that he has much time to let that sink in, though. Choso is far too easily distracted by the sight of your glistening pussy below, the living room light doing well to illuminate just how pretty your wet, sopping folds look against the head of the dildo.

“O-Ohhhh fuck.” He gasps, already on the verge of pleasureful tears. “You’re…” His hand shoots down to hold his dick as if to control it—squeezing his shaft roughly before pushing at it. "You’re soakedd. Can I taste it?” Choso asks, voice cracking a little on the last word.

You flick your eyes up at him, “What?”

“Wanna lick it,” He's whispering while moving to lean down, and flashing you this voracious look from his half-lidded eyes. “Can I? Please? Can I taste you, mommy?”

The second, “What.” that falls from your lips is flat as you find yourself struggling to process just how quickly he'd positioned himself in between your plush thighs and how smoothly that name just poured off of his tongue.

“S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to uh-, call you that…” Choso grumbles awkwardly, looking away to let the moment pass before peeking back up at you, “But, can I please—“

“Why should I let you?” You interrupt rudely.

He blinks. “Huh?”

The sudden shift in tension was rather palpable since you realized it's you who's in control here, and not him. “After alllll the dirty things you’ve done in thought of me," Your head angles off to the right, "Why should I let you taste me, Choso?”

“B-Because I’ll make you feel good,” He tries to promise, his dark eyes locked up onto the unfairly gorgeous display of you—wearing his hoodie and spread out a few inches away from his waiting mouth.

His small promise does little to help his case considering how you tut, “Aw, you think so?”

“Uhuh,” Choso nods submissively.

There's a feral, burning urge inside of him to bury his face in between your legs without permission, but that same urge battles strongly against the equally as resilient urge to be pliant and await your every command.

“That’s cute," You say before holding the dildo towards him, "How about this; if you can make me cum with this, I’ll let you get your taste, yeah?”

For the first time, Choso lets his eyes capture the toy you've been using all this time. The item is... weirdly familiar. Your roommate is many things, but he's not stupid—he knows what his own dick looks like.

Not that he has the mind to question you about it right now, though. there are much more pressing matters to tend to.

Which is exactly why he's not asking you anything as he takes the toy from your hands and then looks down at your cunt. Your hole pulses as if asking to be filled and he thinks his heart skips a beat.

He can see, touch, and smell everything.

Sluggishly, Choso directs the head of the fake cock towards your entrance and applies the faintest bit of pressure before stopping the moment he feels resistance. “Uh, is it.. supposed to do that?” Choso murmurs as he looks up, “Like.. are you supposed to be this tight? Do I need to use lu—“

“Don’t tell me you’ve never had sex before," You cut off.

You've had a feeling for months that Choso was a virgin but you'd never been too sure until now.

He pouts sheepishly, “Well..."

“Just-,” You cut yourself off with a sharp exhale. “Y’know what, you're the one that wanted to taste me so bad. I’m not teaching you, figure it out.”

His chest feels like it's caving in for a moment, “What?” He'd never heard you be so.. mean. Though he'd be lying is he said he wasn't into it, “But you made a copy of my dick, I don’t think that’s fai—“

“I don’t think it’s fair that you’re in between my legs with a toy in your hands and no idea how to use it," You say with a prominent roll of your eyes. “If you wanna taste my pussy, figure it the fuck out, Choso. Make me cum."

Oh, his cock swells impossibly harder.

Then he whines, “Y-Yes ma’am..."

Choso takes a deep breath and returns his attention to your cunt. Leaning down experimentally, his lips press clumsy, open-mouthed kisses against your inner thigh before he starts working his way inward. His nose bumps against your folds a few times, but you keep watching him try his best to piece everything together.

His brows furrow a little before he glides the dildo up and nudges it under your clitoral hood, plucking it away directly after once he notices your body flinching, and then tapping the silicone back down against it in the same way he'd seen you do earlier.

“This is your clit, right?” His question is made with genuine curiosity, but something in his eyes tells you that he already knows the answer to it—he simply wants to hear you say it.

Your head bobs a little and you're already feeling a little dazed from watching him, “Uhuh…”

You could feel his searing breaths flap down against all your wet skin and it was making you more sensitive than normal. The sound of your breathy confirmation made his face light up triumphantly.

Choso waves the tip of the dildo—technically his cock—left 'n right against your clit just to tease you before he lifts it away and lets it push against your hole again. He presses it forward with more pressure than the first time and finally pokes an inch inside you, lifting his eyes to see you bite back a moan.

You were so fucking needy.

He can only imagine how hard it was for you to sit there and act like you didn't have this toy inside you all that time. Now you're more worked up than you probably would be in any normal situation.

He strips your insides of that taunting inch after a few seconds and then repeats this action over and over until he can hear it in your breathing that you're getting frustrated with him. But before you can send him any complaints, he lifts his head and hovers his lips over your clit.

“It’s so pretty, can I kiss it?” Choso asks softly.

“I…” His eyes are all glossy ‘n pleading—too irresistible for you to say no. “Yeah…" You concede, "But no licking.”

“Thank you,” Then he dives in and smothers his lips against your clit, sucking on it lightly without ever letting his tongue make contact with it.

The tip of that stupid silicone continues to pop in and out of your squelchy pussy mindlessly as Choso gets addicted to the feel of your clit against his lips.

Muttering, “S’pretty,” into the twitchy lil’ bud over ‘n over again in between the groans he's letting vibrate out. “It keeps—mwah, runnin’ from me.” He whispers against you, “Sensitive girl—she’s so fuckin’ cute.”

As soon as that praise leaves him, the entire length of the fake cock is thrusted into you and your back is forced into a nasty arch as your hands grab at the couch. A wanton, “Choso!” flying out of your mouth before you can even help it.

He plucks his lips away and glances up at you desperately, “Can I lick her now? Please. I’ll pass out if I don’t—“

“Fine,” You huff shakily, “J-Just... lick her ‘real good for me or I’ll make you stop.”

He doesn't have to be told twice whatsoever.

The next thing you feel is his tongue finally melting against your clit as the dildo is thrusted into you, stretching your saccharine walls out perfectly. Choso only fucks the toy in halfway this time though, pulling it out directly afterwards and then repeating this action many times over as if that's all you could take.

It's at complete random that he decides to fuck the entire length of it inside you, and your body flinches as the sudden gesture is paired with his tongue practically wrapping around your poor clit.

“You like that, princess?” Choso utters with a rasp, sticking his tongue out to show you how he moves it around into spelling out his name, “Like the way I flick my tongue against this pussy? Hm? Am I doin' a good job now?”

“F-Fuck. Hnngh-, yeahhh..” You purr out all softly, hips carefully rocking up to meet both his tongue and the dildo.

You hadn’t expected him to be a talker, especially since he’s never done this before. You assume he’s just saying whatever sounds right in hopes that it works, and luckily for him it always seems to.

In a matter of minutes, Choso's fucking you relentlessly with both his tongue and the copy of his cock. You could drive that toy into you at the same speed of which he's doing now, which is exactly why it's not long before you're whining for him to slow down a little since you didn't wanna cum so quickly.

It felt like he'd only just started!

And if he was doing all this with his tongue glued solely to your clit and that toy thrashing against your g-spot, you could only imagine what the entirety of his mouth would provide for you if you let him.

Even with your pleas of him slowing his pace, Choso wasn't much listening until after you came all over the dildo. He let the toy slip right out of you and held it to the side as he tried to move in and lick at your gaping hole in an attempt of finally getting a raw taste of you.

Sure, he got to savor a bit of you just from licking at your clit but that was far from enough.

You shot a hand down to grab ahold of his hair and yank his head up before that could happen. Panting, “What’re you doing?” as you furrow your brows at him.

Choso whimpers, “Y-You said I could taste you after I made you feel good.”

“Yeah," You smirk, "But not like that.”

You make a gesture towards the same toy he's steadily growing very envious of and his eyes are slow to follow along. Then he frowns because he knows exactly where this is going.

His chocolatey eyes travel along the fake veins trailing the cock and he wonders distantly how you managed to capture every essence of his sex like that. “You… You want me to suck my own…” Choso trails off instead of completing his sentence as the realization settles in.

All whilst you're laying there with the same haughty smile on your face, “You want your taste don’t you?”

A light, defeated groan evades his lips as he watches you go on to grab the dildo and hold it up towards his mouth. The slick, shining toy is absolutely coated in you—your arousal clung to the silicone in glossy streaks, and the evidence of your orgasm fragrant and sloppy against the material.

Choso's nose twitches as he catches the sweet scent of your release oozing off of it before his voice stains out. "Fuck." He breathes, watching a slow bead of your cum slide down the length of the silicone—some of it pooled at the tip where a perfect copy of his own slit had been molded.

The man can't help the way he licks his lips reflexively as he leans towards it.

"Atta' boy," You hum, tapping the head of the toy against his bottom lip and watching your wetness smear across his skin. "Open up and get your taste, c'mon."

There's a war between his pride and his raging need to satisfy your every whim, of which the latter easily wins.

Choso parts his lips and you guide the head inside, his eyes fluttering shut upon feeling your taste meet his tongue. He moans around the toy and you push more of it into his mouth, watching how pretty his lips sealing around the shaft as he begins to hesitantly suck.

"Look at youuu, sucking yourself clean," Your words come out in a breathy purr the more you watch him work his mouth around the copy of his dick. "Good boy."

His eyes open and he bobs his head forward a little more, hips rutting against the couch hard enough for the furniture to inch forward. You watch drool trickle out of his mouth and trail down his chin, feeling yourself throb each time he moans.

You knew Choso was desperate for you but this...

“Mmgh..” He groans around the faux flesh, sucking a little faster once he notices the glow of entertainment in your eyes as you watch him.

“How’s it taste, pretty boy?” You ask in that unfairly sinful tone.

Choso pops his mouth off and gives you a fucked-out little simper, “S’good, mommy.”

Your hand falters against the base of the toy for a moment as you chuff out, “Stop calling me that.”

“Sorry,” He says, not sounding the slightest bit apologetic as he returns to licking his cock clean.

After a long, drawn-out time of him practically sucking and licking the dildo brand new, he pulls away from it with a slippery, wet pop!

Then he gasps, sucking in air, and moves his arm over to wipe off the slick and saliva mix from his chin. There's a disheveled look plastered all over his face and his eyes are hazy when met with yours.

"Was that good?" You ask despite already knowing the answer.

To your surprise, Choso doesn't respond.

He just stares at you like he's debating more things than can currently be expressed through words. Then he wraps his hands around the base of the dildo, snatches it from your grasp, and tosses it across the living room like it's useless.

Halfway-glaring at you with a new look in his eyes, he leans up leisurely. His hands move to the edge of his sweatpants and you see his dick imprint practically staring at you from beyond the fabric—a concerning wet patch darkening the area.

There's something grave in his eyes as he cocks his head over and exhales heavily, “Can I give you the real thing now?”

Your thighs twitch but you hope he doesn't notice it. Trying to distract him from it by shrugging, “You think you’ve earned it?”

“I think,” His fingers dip beneath the fabric and he begins to tug his pants down, “You’re being a brat—acting like you’re not just as bad as me.”

Oh. The switch in his head had most certainly been flipped and you were not expecting it.

“What?” You puff.

“Look at you now,” He reaches out and presses the thick pad of his thumb against your clit, “Swollen, needy, aching… all for me.”

Your thighs try to shut, “T-That’s just because—“

“Shhh, shhh,” He hushes, rapidly swatting his hands over to your legs and forcing them open before you can close them, “Let me show you I’ve earned it.”

He grips at your skin until it feels like you won't move once he extracts his hold on you, swallowing up how pretty you look submitting to him now.

Choso goes to pull his dick out and your breath hitches, entire body flinching as you watch it bob out. His length spanks down against your pussy, meanly spreading your wobbly lips apart and nudging against every sensitive nerve you have there.

Your roommate doesn’t move for a moment and just sits there so you can feel his veins thumping, and watch the crown of his cock drooool silky, wet ropes of mushy cum against your abdomen. He's a mess of his own seed but he doesn't seem to care or be embarassed by it whatsoever.

After all, you're the one who got him like this.

All while he’s panting, sweat running down his skin, and face flushed beyond belief. Hovering over you, Choso tilts his head and continues on with his needy glare, “Can I fuck you now?”

“Yeah,” You don't even hesitate to whisper.

His hand moves to hold your jaw graciously but the way he tugs your face up is quite rough, “Speak up.” He demands.

“Yeah,” You say clearly, “You can fuck me, Choso.”

And that’s all he needs.

Next thing you know and Choso's tucking his thiiiiick, creamy cock into your quivering pussy, throwing his head back from the sensation of feeling you welcoming him in for the first time. He's got one hand clasped onto the couch and the other having moved to grip the top of your head so you can watch him have his way with you.

He couldn't let you miss a second of this by looking away or turning your head because you didn't want him to see how much your face twists up in pleasure. No, no, if you're gonna let him fuck you then you're gonna watch how he does it too.

Every fuckin' second of it.

That initial inch of him sinking into you had your vision blurring. The dildo you had made couldn't even begin to compare nor replicate the real thing. It doesn't twitch the way he does, doesn't end with his hips pressing forward with intentional, punishing slowness as if to get back at you for making the damn thing in the first place, and doesn't make you feel every ridge or rubbing vein against the soppiest crevices of your pussy.

"Look at that," Choso drawls, his eyes locked onto where your bodies meet, "You take me s'fucking well—always knew you would." He admits.

But then he stops halfway with no warning, no nothing. You're left impaled and clenching around him, wanting and needing more desperately whilst he just waits. He watches how your walls flutter around him as if to bed for the rest but he still doesn't move.

Your voice feels broken, "C-Choso.."

"Hm? Something wrong, princess?" He coos innocently, "You want me to keep going?"

You nod desperately and the movement makes his hand grip at your skull tighter by just a fraction. Then he sinks in a little deeper and you deliver a trembling moan in response.

He doesn't even sound like the sweet, respectful Choso you know has he tuts, "I can't hear you."

Through gritted teeth, "Yes—fucking move, Cho. Please, fuck me." you beg.

The edges of his lips curl, "Thaaat's more like it."

And then he's bucking the rest of his plump cock into you, bottoming out just the way both of you have always desired. The fluid motion has air fleeing from your lungs and your back angling up ‘n away from the couch, a shamefully loud cry—that you’re sure your neighbors will send complaints about later—leaping out of your trachea.

Choso sets a nasty rhythm inside you, thrusting without a concern in the world about the way the couch is squeaking and creaking beneath your bodies.

Shit. At this rate the dame thing could just break and he still wouldn’t give a fuck.

His hand tightens within your hair and he pulls at your head, “Goddd, you’ve no idea how long I-, hahh… waited for this. Need you to watch, baby. Watch how I fuck this pretty pussy.”

You feel his stout cockhead flog up against your cervix repeatedly, almost like he means to brand himself into the area and have his cum signing his name across it permanently.

“Can’t believe you got some-, fuck—s-stupid toy to replace me. L-Like m’not right here for you,” He pants, a crisp whine slipping out somewhere in between his words. “You knew you wanted the real thing, knew you needed it. Right? Doesn’t this feel s’much better, princess?”

Your jaw is flailing open at this point and you’re a slobbering, moaning mess underneath him, “Yes, Choso. F-Feels s’good, nngh!”

A particularly puncturing thrust makes your eyes fly to the back of your head and your hand reach over to hold onto his arm, nails scratching across his skin. He smiles once he realizes he’s found the perfect spot to fuck you dumb.

Then he’s doing exactly that, pounding your body straight into the mattress and letting groans pour out of his mouth. He’s so fucked-out that he doesn’t even realize he’s drooling on you as he plows forward.

Your pussy is weeping all over his cock, lugging his every jerky inch in deeper ‘n deeper until he earns a specific twitch from you.

“O-Oh,” Choso moans again, “I found it, huh? You gonna cum on me again?” Once your head goes nodding and your pleasureful cries pitch out into airy whines, he gasps. “Give it to me then. Please? Please cum on me, lemme feel it. I wanna feel it baby—wanna feel you cum.”

His words immediately fade off into whimpers when he feels you doing exactly as he’s begged you to—your orgasm practically crashing through you and causing your body to convulse around him. Choso fucks you through it like his life depends on it, eager not to disappoint.

Then he’s right there with you—even though he technically came again quite some time ago, but both of you were too fucked-out to realize—and you feel globs of his cum gushing all throughout your pussy, the mess of releases getting mixed with one another with the way his hips insistently continued on.

Muttering, “Take it, take it, take it-,” over and over mindlessly whilst your cunt shuddered around him.

It’s not until his hips come to a sharp stop that both of you manage to catch your breath in an synchronized gasp of air. Choso’s body topples down over you and you feel his cock twitching as it goes flaccid inside you.

Your bodies remain still for a minute or two before he lifts his head to look at your face, leaning in to plaster kisses on your cheek and whisper intimate things that your ears don’t quite catch.

When your ears come in tune with what he’s saying, "—and about that video... I wanted to apologize for that. A-And for everything else." you hear him finishing off with.

To which you let out a little dream-like sigh, "Choso… I literally have a camera in my room. I've known about what you've been doing for quite a while now. You don't have to apologize."

"Oh, you-," He pauses and lifts his body. "Wait, what?"

perm choso tags (1/2):

@yulissacastillo11 @xxvendettaxx @blcknebula @imyourightnow @cupidstrace @iiakithegoat @hellodeeyanna @navyllll @etsuniiru @not-a-glad-gladiator

@hopelissromantiq @2kool4skoolll @bbfawns @daxphoriax @gorouenjoyer @avatar4eva @broimherebcsimboredok @indiaas-priv @blubearxy @wonderfullymickey

@iaintblockinnobody @kitassecretgf @iam-souless @nanamitiddiechomper @ohreallyfriend @withersworld @suguphile @megottheswaskikacooooke @kvsqkiii @yourlocalcatscammer

@prettysexcgorgeous @themicthatyeosangwith @autistmicfool @v33326 @lucy-lulu @sukubusss @sweetieelilii @lisabelhyhn @serenadesvt @bloxdhawks

the company gym is mirrored walls / sweat-soaked skin / air heavy with the haze of midsummer heat. somewhere between the barbell racks & bench press machines, your palms bruise red from the weight of a dumbbell.

toji fushiguro has the body of a god.

you won’t admit it, though. won’t even look at it. even now you’re low lashes trained on shoko sprawled against her mat. said girl is shameless & gawky & wide-eyed.

“shoko,” you hiss. “stop staring.”

“i can’t! his waist is too slutty!”

your tongue licks your canines. girls like you don’t feel the need to sneak a peek. toji fushiguro is a man who knows he will never be refused. to seduce you, he’d need more than broad back or slow gaze or thick thigh—

oh my!

you only see it for a second, really. he shifts & the material clings far too tight—stretching & dipping just enough to outline his cock; thick & fat & far too heavy against his right leg.

“bitch. did you fucking see that?”

“see what?”

girls like you tell lies like they’re gospel. even now, shoko’s shoving your side, spitting something about ‘playing hard to get’ & just ‘sneaking one more glance.’

you do. lashes low. lips half-bitten. eyes on the mirror because girls like you can’t look men like toji in the face.

your cheeks burn hot when your eyes lift.

toji fushiguro is already looking at you.

PRINT ASSESSMENT : B(+) FOR BIASED.

DIHVESTIGATION #2: BOARDROOM 4-B

one half-drunk coffee browning at the rim. two men with glasses who don’t know how to murmur. in boardroom 4-B, there are three reasons why you can’t fucking focus.

reason number one: toji fushiguro is staring at you like he knows how you taste when you lie.

it shouldn’t bother you, really. 3PM at goldman sachs means company whiteboards & stock market projections. this afternoon you’re buttoned blazer & tight skirt & tighter bun. there’s a clipboard in your hands & two knots in your gut.

you’re presenting something about liquid assets. toji’s gaze has liquid pooling between your thighs.

the nerve of him. toji fushiguro has a pen in his teeth & a tie half-loose. his glasses slip low on his nose, chair leaning, thick arms crossed over thicker chest. & his eyes—glazed over & half-lidded—blink slow. heavy & bored & flitting to your hips before glancing away like you don’t even exist.

the projector goes out.

& it’s a good thing it does. it’s hard to talk about assets when toji’s got you wishing his shove through your pussy. you bite your lip, thighs aching like a fucking virgin. down the table, shoko notices.

IT girl shoko ieri doesn’t stand up.

she should. you’re already irritated & it’s her fucking job for christ’s sake, but shoko seems to have other plans. instead she turns to toji,

“mr. fushiguro—do you mind getting that? you’re closest to the port.”

toji doesn’t mind. at least, that’s what it looks like. he gets up, body all spine & lazy muscle, and stops just in front of you.

“s’cuse me, miss,”

he lowers himself to pick at the wires by the screen. you’re quick to clamp your thighs shut & pray he doesn’t catch your soaked panties or the way they cling between your folds.

you also pray he doesn’t catch the way your eyes flick to his crotch.

& god, he’s huge; thin slacks not bothering to hide his shape in his pants. he’s thick. so thick you can’t guess if he’s hard & bulging or some sort of monster even when soft or if his cock would twitch if he shoved it right into your aching cunt—

your thighs squeeze. there’s three crevices in your palm where your nails dig into your skin & your knees feel weak & god why the fuck is he so hot? his hair’s all messy & shirt half-unbuttoned so when you sneak a peek, his chest peeks back.

you bite your lip & sneak a peek at his face as well.

toji fushiguro does not peek back.

he’s consumed by the wires it seems—shuffling cables; one arm lifting to rest on the chair beside you & unavoidably bracketing your knees. you’re leaned back against the wall now, chest heaving, thighs shut, lashes fluttering because toji’s nose sniffles & it’s so fucking cute.

& so fucking annoying. because you’ve used your pretty heel to nudge him twice now & he’s still plugging wires like he can’t feel your thigh brush hot against his arm. like he can’t hear how heavy you’re breathing, or the soft squelch under your skirt when he leans so close you have to shift away. like he can’t—

“legs,” he mutters.

you shift your heel back, cheeks ripe-red & sweltering hot.

toji drops a cable. arms on his knees now, still crouched low, bleary eyes flicking up to yours. there’s only silence for a beat, and then he stands up slow. heavy. you don’t miss the soft knock of his cock against his crotch.

you gulp.

toji stretches. gaze low, eyes somewhere too close to your skirt.

“fix that.”

toji doesn’t clarify as he turns to leave.

PRINT ASSESSMENT: D(-) FOR DICKHEAD.

DIHVESTIGATION CUT THE EYE TAG N’ FUCK THIS CUNT !

5PM at goldman sachs & there’s an elbow wedged between your ribs.

the elevator’s full—too full—& you’re too foolish; and the bone in your rib clearly isn’t yours. to your left there’s a man in khaki suit & beach blond hair & heavy goggles. the man on your right has pearl white hair & talks to him a mile a minute.

behind you is something hard.

but your body knows the scent of maroon’s dogwood et tabac. behind you toji fushiguro is leaning, hands heavy on the rail behind him, crotch conveniently caught behind your ass.

the elevator air is sticky as a chewed prayer. the first time you grind against toji, it’s purely by accident.

too many bodies press together, sweat-slicked & aching in the midsummer heat. the elevator stutters & you can only shift back, backside dragging over his semi-hard cock.

the second time you grind against him, your hips are the culprit.

not you, your hips; because girls like you have bodies with minds of their own so you can only bear witness as they rub against his crotch. heavy. slow. assisted by the weight of two grown men pressing beside you every time the elevator simmers.

behind you, toji hasn’t tensed.

in fact, he yawns. like he hasn’t noticed you frotting on his cock. like his dick isn’t semi-hard & kissing your ass beneath your skirt.

he’s so fucking frustrating.

so you stop for now. even your hips know better than to lie to you twice. you try to move forward, keyword: try, but the elevator slams to brake & you’re shoved against toji’s chest.

big hands catch your hips automatically. you muffle a squeak. how cute.

but you’ll never know if toji thinks the same because he only grunts behind you, sound rumbling through his chest. the elevator fills out quickly, too many footsteps eager to find home.

it’s time for you to find home, too. heaven knows this workday has filled you with embarrassment.

you’re about to step off when toji pushes the emergency stop button.

you only realize it when you bump against his back. you blink once, twice, & toji turns to you with lips ticked up in a smile too cruel to be kind.

“you gonna pretend you don’t know why i did that?”

you tell lies like they’re gospel so you play the fool. “i have no idea what you’re talking about.”

you say it with clicked tongue but blisters swell where your thighs touch. there’s a heat on your cheeks that you can’t itch away.

toji laughs, shakes his head. the sound is close to guttural.

“heard you and shoko at lunch earlier,” he muses, voice low & steps heavy. “B-minus, was it?”

“what are you—“

a palm pats your cheek. heavy, hot. “rubbing up on me like a bitch in heat. that desperate to find out, miss?”

you shiver against his touch, neck hot, thighs burning. toji’s thumb drags at your lip. the other hand slips towards his pants.

he’s palming himself now, gripping at his crotch, moulding & pressing as you suck air in with glossy eyes.

“don’t be shy,” he murmurs. you’re still rag dolled in front of him, shaky knees & lust-glazed eyes. his palm leaves his crotch to take yours gently, so gently, & you almost moan when he presses it to his hard, swollen cock.

fuck.

“easy,” he rasps, low. you’re half-bitten lips now, pupils blown & palms playing with his zipped-up cockhead. his pants twitch with each clothed rub, & your body has a mind of its own so you whimper.

“wanna take it out for me, miss?”

“yes—i mean, yes.”

you don’t miss the tug of his lips. the expression he wears is close to mocking but you’re half-devil half-girl so you zip him free anyways. he springs free & god he’s huge. veiny & thick & tip an angry pink.

toji pumps himself, horny & pulsing with each stroke. his thighs twitch like it fucking hurts.

“knees, dollface,” he’s breathless now. “tell me i’m a B with my cock stuffed in your throat.”

toji fushiguro doesn’t need to tell you twice.

you sink obediently, palms resting at his thighs. you reach to cup his dick but it only slaps against your face.

“tits out, doll. wanna watch ‘em bounce while you suck me.”

& you’re half-devil half-girl so you obey immediately; knuckles shaky & fingers clumsy against your buttons. toji sighs & snaps them open with a grunt.

“can’t do anything right…”

he murmurs but you’re peering up at him with doe eyes. toji thinks you’re so fucking cute, hot cheeks & clenching thighs & a nose that scrunches in self-denial. ten minutes ago you were rubbing against his cock. five minutes & you were telling him otherwise.

nevermind that, though. he’s always wanted your glossy lips wrapped around his dick.

& the precum on his tip makes them glossier. toji’s got his head tipped back now, thighs twitching, hips thrusting himself into your hot mouth. the sight of your pebbled nipples glistening with sweat makes him groan, & you pump his cock & suck so good he thinks he might be seeing stars.

“mm—fuck, that’s it,” he rasps, “that’s good, s’good, miss.”

you lick a stripe up his slit. toji shivers.

& you’re a devil of a girl so you take it a step further. your thighs squeeze, & the soft squelch of your panties stick to his ears. you take your other hand & fondle with your perky nipples.

“fuck—“

but toji doesn’t let you continue. he yanks you by the hair just as his cock twitches, pulsing & sputtering with sticky precum.

“up,” he rasps, pulling at your waist, “get up.”

you’re only in his arms for a moment before he gets to work, neck flushed & rock hard against you. he’s much too rough in folding up your skirt, dragging it up so your ass spills out & the cool air licks your panties.

“been so fuckin’ noisy,” his fingers rub circles on your juicy clit, “soaked & begging for me since the meeting. thought i wouldn’t fucking notice.”

he’s muttering more to himself than you, pressing his thumb to your panties before he somehow gets annoyed & slides them away. you’re slobbering on his fingers now, sticky & drenched & squelching with each pump.

“mhm—right there, ah—“

“quiet,” he hisses with two fingers in your folds. he’s pumping them in & out now, brows furrowed, hair sweaty, dick impossibly hard. you go limp against him, tits smushed against his chest as he works to stretch you out; cockhead still poking against your swollen clit.

“so fucking tight,” he rasps. “god, baby. why’s your pussy so fuckin’ tight.”

toji fushiguro is big man with little patience. so when he circles your swollen clit one more time, your thighs trembling against him, you’re not too surprised when his palm shifts back to his cock.

he’s still got a palm on your hip, heavy & aching. he pumps himself two more times before kissing the crook of your neck against his chest.

“gonna stuff you with my cock,” he’s pumping harder now, lips brushing just under your jaw. “that okay, sweetheart? want my B-minus cock in you? or is that not big enough?”

“it’s big! so big—please toji—“

“so cute,” it’s almost a laugh now, guttural & vibrating through your chest. he hooks your thigh up with an arm. “starin’ at my cock and rating it with your friend. shoulda stuffed it in you ages ago.”

& he does. he strokes your clit once before pushing himself in, pussy sputtering & spitting around him. your walls streetch, velvety & aching, hips twitching as you clench around his cock.

“m’sorry! so sorry, can’t take anymore, please—”

he only shoves himself deeper as you cry over his cock. he’s panting now, groaning, palm shaky as he grips your thigh. “look at me—this feel like a B to you? can’t even take B-grade dick, hm?”

he thrusts into your squelching pussy as you go limp against him, lashes fluttering, lips bitten hard as your nipples drag against his chest.

“it’s a D! fuck, toji—!”

he slides his dick out as your pussy sputters; walls cumming, body aching & tingly on his chest. toji’s got his dick in his palm & pumping slow; thick white cum dripping out with each stroke. “mhm…fuck.”

you’re still breathing heavy on his chest, nipples budded & glistening with sweat. against you toji shoves his dick back in his pants, breath heavy, tugging on his zipper as his thumb slips low to circle at your swollen clit.

your lashes flutter open to peek at his jaw. toji fushiguro is already looking at you.

his eyes are low, grin sleazy.

“still a B?”

your eyes flutter shut. what a fucking bastard.

PRINT ASSESSMENT : A(-) FOR FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE.

catch print, end.

The man cocks his head to the side and even though his thumb is actively rubbing your jaw as if to comfort you just a little, there’s still a scarily smug smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. Swatting his tongue out over them, “Yeah? Earn it, then.” He orders before spitting down at you, the splatter landing somewhere on your cheek.

You try to better the way you’re sucking him into your mouth—you really do—but with the way Gojo conveniently presses his palm into the arch of your spine, causing his wet cockhead to place syrupy kisses against your spongey sweet spot, you all but choke around the thickness in between your lips.

“Suguru, look at her, she’s tryin’ her best—mmgh-, fuck,” Your much sweeter boyfriend tries to sympathize, despite the fact that his tip is busy branding a mean smear of cum against your cervix. Huffing, “You gotta reward her some. Like this,” Gojo explains breathlessly before swooping a hand underneath your poor, overstimulated frame and letting his fingertips locate your clit with ease, gently swatting at it just to feel 'n watch the way your entire body twitches in reaction.

“Hnngh,” You're gagging out your moans again as your eyes start to travel alll the way into the back of your skull.

Gojo only smiles as if he's being any kinder than Geto, “See? She’s squeezin’ me even tighter now,” He points out. Then he's leaning down so his words can hit your ear properly, voice a soothingly deep tone that has you dripping from everywhere. “Y’like that, sweetheart?”

Like always, you're nodding before you manage to hum a muffled, “M-Mmhm!"

“Liar,” Geto sears with a harsher thrust of his hips. It's almost like he wanted you to literally eat your own words, his wide cock filling every crevice of your throat just as he'd trained it to, time and time before. Head tilting and knowing smirk flashing, “You like someone that’s mean to you more, be honest.”

Gojo's head flies up and his brows are all furrowed. An immediate pout takes over his lips and you think his hips stutter for a second, “Are you trying to say she likes you more than me?”

“Hah," Geto laughs dryly while weaving a hand through your hair, ignoring your gags and only ever acknowledging how good the vibrations feel around his shaft. "You’re a smart boy, Satoru. You can figure it out.”

The man behind you is left to scoff and the smack! he leaves on your ass doesn't exactly seem like it was directed towards you, “See how easily you praise me?" He asks, rolling his eyes before looking down again. It was clear by the sudden throb in his cock that the simple phrase from Geto was getting to him. So, naturally, he had to turn the attention back to you, "Why can’t you do the same for her?”

“She’s not y—oohh f-fuck, hey-, wait…” Geto's the one stammering now as he's entirely caught off-guard by your sloppy fingers dragging against his balls, his dick having somehow fallen out of your mouth and left you below him with a jaw slicked with saliva 'n spit, and your lips kissing his most sensitive places. “Shiit, you missed my attention on you already? Hm?” He teases.

“Mmnh," You hum while nodding. He watches you stick your tongue out like some whore before you let him see the center of it slather over a particularly delicate vein of his that trails the left side of his shaft. Then your head tips to the side and you start leaving kisses all over his length.

“Fuck, I hate it when you’re cute.” Was his way of telling you he's dialing it back a bit, his touches an awfully lot softer and smoother now against your face.

You let off a moan right against his skin when Gojo pulls out of you for a second just to watch his cock wetly thwack! up against your folds, “He’s lyin’, sweets. He loves it.”

To which Geto shakes his head and only sends him a glare, “Shut up, Satoru.”

banner art by Rororogi Mogera || perm gojo & geto tags (list still open here):

It’s as if the man only falls for you more and more every day. Geto’s been with you for roughly two years now and yet you’ve never revealed this sudden… mask kink you clearly have. He likes the Scream franchise just as much as you do and the idea of chasing you around and eventually fucking you in costume definitely excites him.

So there you are; sitting in his lap and pouting, steadily snaking your arms around his neck and pulling yourself in close before you plant a chaste little kiss on his lips.

“C’mon Sugu, I know you’ve thought about it before,” You point out to him in a low purr as your lips depart from his.

The hands that’d been calmly resting on your hips suddenly grow intrigued as they slide up to your waist and give you a soft squeeze, “I really haven’t.” He admits honestly. You can see it all in his eyes that he silently agreed to this the moment you brought out that stupid mask.

At his soft admission, a gleaming smile spreads across your face, “Okayy, well you are now… So is that a yes or what?”

He pretends to think for only a moment longer, glancing off to the side in faux thought before landing those pretty lilac irises back onto you, “Yeah, sure. Tomorrow's Halloween so, we can do it then.” Geto tells you.

And that was all it took. 

Halloween night was here before you even had time to fully prepare for it. The entire day you weren’t able to stop thinking about the moment Geto would walk through the front door, dressed in all black with that overly attractive ghostface mask cloaking his equally beautiful face. 

Your heart was racing in anticipation as the sun began to set outside and the clock ticked closer and closer toward the time of which he would return home from work. You knew he’d be there no more than thirty minutes after and all you could do was wonder how this all would go down.

Clad in only one of his oversized white t-shirts, you distracted yourself by mindlessly scrolling on your phone as you awaited the moment he’d get home. Any second now and you’d hear that lovely security chime go off—

You jump a little in your bed when your thought is cut off by an incoming unknown number. If you weren’t buzzing with excitement before, you damn sure are now because it’s clear your boyfriend is going out of his way to play into this with you. There are practically small hearts in your eyes as you tap that enticing green button on your screen to answer the phone.

Biting back a smile, you’re quick to bring the phone up to your ear, “Hello?”

An almost low-quality distortion to the person’s voice is instantly recognized by you—it wasn’t Suguru’s voice at all, it was that infamous voice changer that spoke to you. “Why don’t you wanna talk to me?” A man asks, and you know this line all too well.

Hell, you know the entire dialogue. This is exactly why you sit up in your bed and hold back that smile of yours like your life depended on it. Tilting your head into the phone, you glance around your bedroom, “Who is this?”

“You tell me your name, I’ll tell you mine,” The ‘mystery’ man continues. 

You had to slap a hand over your mouth to keep yourself from giggling right then and there. Your dark little fantasy was becoming true right before your very eyes and it had a sliver of excitement slipping down your spine. Sliding out from your bed, you take small steps toward the nearby window and glance outside.

Scoffing softly, “I don’t think so.” You quote, straight from the first Scream. You’ve seen the movie enough times to recite the whole thing word for word, even his lines.

It’s a bit off-script how things go from here on out but, that’s the goal.

“Aw, you’re no fun.” He purrs. Even with that damn voice changer, you’d recognize that purr any day. You know this is your boyfriend and that only has your body heating up with each passing second.

Now you’re left to improv a bit. “Think so?” You reply as you pull your bedroom curtains closed and turn away from the window.

“Oh I know so, sweetheart. It’s Halloween night and you’re doing nothing to celebrate.” The man on your phone points out. 

You’re walking out of your room now and taking a careful peek into the dimmed hallway. “And that makes me not fun? What am I supposed to do to celebrate Halloween aside from dressing up and maybe handing out some candy?”

He chuckles. “You’re a smart girl, I’m sure you can figure something else out.”

“Let me guess,” Your brows raise a little, “I should be watching scary movies?”

“That depends. You like scary movies?” There you are, right back onto the script.

“Uhuh,” You hum in response with a slight nod as if he could see you.

“What’s your favorite scary movie?” And there it is, infamous line one of many. You nearly let out a dreamy sigh knowing that it’s nothing but your boyfriend on the other end.

Allowing yourself to smile this time, you trek down your hallway and towards the staircase. “Uhhh, I dunno,” Of course you know, but where’s the fun in saying it so soon?

“You have to have a favorite. What comes to mind?” Every scratchy distorted-pitched word that pours from the man’s mouth has anticipation bubbling within you.

You sigh. “Uhmm, Halloween!” As you recall that answer straight from the movie, you turn to your staircase and allow your eyes to scan the first floor of your home.

Most of the lights are on so it’s not too dark or anything but you really are curious whether or not Geto has made his way inside already.

“Y’know, the one with the guy with the white mask who walks around and stalks babysitters?” You quote flawlessly yet again. You’re such a fanatic for the Scream franchise that you’re loving every single second of this.

“Yeahh,” He purrs again, making your heart involuntarily flutter.

You begin to slowly descend down the flight of stairs, “What’s yours?”

“Guess.” He orders on the other end.

Pausing halfway down, you glance over to your kitchen. The light is still on and everything is exactly the way you left it. “Uhm, Nightmare on Elm Street?” You soon reply.

“Is that the one where the guy had knives for fingers?” The way your boyfriend knows every word to this just as well as you do makes your stomach churn in affection just a bit. 

Your voice turns enthusiastic and you continue your steps down, “Yeah! Freddy Kruger.”

“Freddy, that’s right.” He continues, “I like that movie—it was scary.”

“Well the first one was but the rest sucked.” You’re downstairs now, looking around at the way all the blinds in your home are open. Did you leave them like that for this exact reason? You don’t remember.

“Mhm,” ‘Mystery’ man hums and you swear you can picture the smirk on his face as he utters the next infamous line. “Soo, you got a boyfriend?”

You pull your lower lip into your mouth for a second before smiling, “Why? You wanna ask me out on a date?” Now you’re making a right to enter your living room, heading toward your couch placed in the center.

“Maybe. Do you have a boyfriend?” He asks again.

You pause for a second. This literally is your boyfriend so, surely he wants you to play into this question, right?

“No.” You chirp simply.

You can hear the smile on his face even through that stupidly attractive voice changer, “You never told me your name.”

You know what comes after this and you can’t help but begin to look around as you plop down on your couch, “Why do you wanna know my name?” 

It’s silent over the phone for a long couple of seconds

“Cause’ we wanna know who we’re looking at.”

Your heart surprisingly sinks as those words hit your ears. We? That’s not… how that scene goes. He was supposed to say that he wants to know who he’s looking at. There’s no we? Where the hell did he even get that from??

For the first time since you picked up this damn phone and started this whole thing, you’re actually a bit nervous. Chuckling loosely, you try to play it off as your eyes glance around your living room, “What do you mean, ‘we’?” 

There’s a shuffling over the phone for just a moment. Then, you hear that distorted voice again, but the pitch is slightly different. “C’mon, princess. You’ve seen the movies, you should know by now that there’s hardly ever only one killer.” The man says. 

Eyes all over every corner of the house, heart thumping slightly in your chest, you can feel your anxiety rising within. “I… I don’t understand.” You murmur softly.

And then… all the lights go out with a loud noise coming from somewhere outside. If you weren’t shaking in fear before, you damn sure are now. Your eyes go even wider and you move to put your phone on speaker, clicking your flashlight on right after. 

“S-Suguru, this isn’t funny! I like the movies ‘nd all but I’m not the biggest fan of being scared, you know that.” The person(s) on the phone can hear the clear trembling in your voice as you stand up and point your flashlight to whatever area your eyes land on, searching for any signs of anyone.

There’s a snicker over the line. “Oh but this iss funny, sweets.” The tone changed again—it’s still distorted in that famous Ghostface pitch, but it’s not Suguru nor the person who’d said something before. “You look sooo scared right now.”

Aw hell, that lets you know he (or they) can see you right now. Which is just great considering you can’t see shit aside from darkness and the few areas of your house that your light lands on. You’re scared to leave the living room but… you’re also terrified of staying right where you are. You don’t know how many Ghostface’s are in your house right now and you don’t know what the hell Suguru has planned for you tonight.

“Stop playing around! Turn the lights back on and quit this scary shit, Suguru.” You huff out into the call, taking one step to your right and hearing the floor creak below your foot.

The house is eerily quiet—which is ridiculously concerning considering how he-, they can see you but you can’t see them at the moment. How the hell are they talking to you without you hearing them? They are in your house now, right??

“You said you wanted to get fucked by Ghostface, baby.” The voice returns, as does that natural purr, letting you know it’s Geto talking once more. “You never said how many…”

You slowly walk around your couch and shift your flashlight toward the blinds, trying to get a look outside your windows. “Are you serious? That sounds insane. How many of you are there?!” Your gaze flicks toward the nearby staircase and you only scare yourself as your eyes get lost in the darkness of your home.

Geto’s still talking, “Including me, there’s three of us. How does that sound, hm? I’m obviously not gonna make you do anything you don’t want to but, you do know who we all are.”

You swallow thickly. “Do I?” This time your words leave in a whisper and you swear you hear a shuffling coming from upstairs.

Lord knows you’re scared out of your mind right now. But, it is comforting to know that whatever this is, your boyfriend is in control of it all. You trust him more than anything, so there’s no real reason to be scared… right? 

“Mhm. So how ‘bout we play a game?” Your boyfriend requests, and the sound of him smiling again is heard through his tone.

You stop walking entirely and your eyes are fixated upstairs as you flash your light up there. “Okay Jigsaw.” You snort, “What… What kind of game, huh?”

He sighs, almost sounding as though he were sitting back against something. “The one you and I were going to play. Y’know, you run around ‘n hide but if I find you, I fuck you. Let’s continue that but… with two others.”

“Suguru, you’re gonna let two other guys fuck me?” You’re beyond baffled by this whole thing. Never in a million years would you have expected this from your boyfriend. This is the same man who got mad a while ago for the way some guy who was all flirty with you at a restaurant…

Geto hums deeply, “S’long as you’re okay with it and they find you before I do, yeahh.”

“I didn’t know you were into that…” You reply, moving a hand to tug his shirt further down your body. Knowing that there was more than just him in the area right now made you a bit self-conscious.

“Didn’t know you were into masks but the Ghostface thing really does it for ya’, huh?” Suguru snaps back with that sass you know and love.

“I mean…” You shrug, “Yeah.”

“Right. So then, the game is simple. You try to hide and whoever finds you first; fucks you.”

“That’s it?”

“Oh, nooo. There’s more to this baby…” You swear you hear a creak upstairs—coming from somewhere down the left end of the hallway. It gives you the chills as Geto continues. “See, I know how loud you are when you cum so… tonight, I want you to be nice and quiet.”

You gulp, “What happens if I’m not?”

“Another one of us will find you.”

“Oh—“

“…And join in.” He steadily adds on with an amused smile on his face that you obviously can’t see right now.

Your heart races at the thought alone. “Oh.”

Just for extra consent, Geto tilts his head against the phone, “That alright with you?”

“Yes… but, wait do I still have to be quiet even if there ends up being two of you guys fucking me…?” You lean to the side a bit and aim your light toward the direction you heard the creak, spotting no one and no signs of life whatsoever.

“Yep.” Geto replies with a teasing pop of the ‘p’.

“But—“

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll do fine. After all,” The voice changer clicks off and Suguru’s tone is nice and clear with you, “Y’know whose cock you’re supposed t’get loud on.”

You feel yourself throb at the sound of his voice without that stupid filter, puffing out a little sigh in reaction to his lewd words. 

“Oh, and by the way…”

“Huh?”

The voice changer clicks on one last time and he chuckles. “They’re already in the house.”

——

Okay, you knew Halloween was one of Suguru’s favorite holidays but shit you didn’t expect him to go all out like this.

Not one, not two, but three Ghostfaces in your home searching for you right now? You’re lucky the house is big and there are plenty of places to hide but fuck is your anxiety through the goddamn roof as you sit in the empty tub of your first-floor bathroom. The door is shut but not locked and you’ve got the tub curtain pulled closed, just in case one of them does happen to stroll in.

Obviously, this wasn’t the best hiding spot in the world but you wanted them to eventually find you. You were scared in the beginning because of how unexpected this was but now you’re just as excited as you were when you first received that infamous phone call and recited all the lines with your boyfriend.

As soon as the call had ended, you clicked your flashlight off and snuck around in search of a hiding place—which is roughly how you ended up where you are now…

Now you’re left wondering who would find you first. Well, that and who the hell is under two of those masks. You suspect one of them is Gojo Satoru since that’s your boyfriend’s best friend but the other guy… you’re not too sure. Geto said you knew him but that still doesn’t help much.

Your boyfriend has a lot of friends that you know. Which one does he trust enough to let them have their way with you??

After maybe fifteen minutes of sitting in the tub, you start hearing someone outside the bathroom door. Footsteps shuffle by and you can tell the person went off into your kitchen. Then you hear the sounds of doors and cabinets opening, all of which make your breath hitch.

It’s so nerve-wracking and exciting waiting for someone to swing open the bathroom door. The footsteps soon pass it again and you let out the faintest sigh.

…Only to hear those steps halt not too far off from the door. Then, they turn and your body stiffens up entirely as each thump against the hardwood floor draws closer and closer to the door. You can’t see it because of the shower curtains but, there’s a shadow at the bathroom door.

Then you hear a small clinking sound, followed by a very soft… thump? Almost as if someone were leaning against the bathroom door to listen.

It was so scarily exciting that you had to move a hand over your mouth to keep yourself as silent as possible. After which, it’s all so very motionless.

There’s no sound, safe for someone walking around upstairs, and you just know someone’s outside the bathroom door right now. Your heart sinks into your ass the moment you hear that doorknob turning torturously slow until it’s lightly pushed open. 

Then, there are but two soft steps taken inside and you don’t hear it but the door is closed behind whoever just entered.

They could be coming in to just use the bathroom… riiiight?

That’s extremely naive of you to think but a girl can only hope. Another step is taken deeper into the bathroom and that soft clinking sound you heard before is getting louder. It’s faint, almost like… jewelry or… necklaces slapping against one another gently. Jewelry… Necklaces… Which one of Geto’s friends do you know wears a lot of jewelry...? C’mon, think.

Necklaces… rings maybe… piercings—

The very second it clicks in your brain who this might be, you practically flinch right out of your skin as you spot a knife slowly moving to slide the bathtub curtain open. As the curtain is pulled open, you’re met with the tilted head of someone in a Ghostface costume.

Your eyes are all wide on them and you genuinely have no idea where on your body this guy is looking but the mask is actually quite scary when it’s all dark and neither of you is making any sudden movements.

His head slowly angles to the opposing direction, just like Ghostface often does in the movies, and you gulp loudly. The curtain is pinned to the wall by the knife in his hand and you think you’re sweating.

“Scared?” His voice is deep. Familiarly deep. It quickly confirms your suspicions of who’s face may be lying beneath that iconic mask.

With your eyes all frantic along what’s covering his face, noticing the bits of blood and cracks decorating it, you swallow thickly yet again. “Choso?” Your voice is hardly above a whisper and the air feels so heavy with tension.

His hand moves away from the wall and the knife, which you hope is fake, is placed on the edge of the tub with a soft tapping noise emitting into the still air. Then he takes that same hand and lifts it to pull his mask up to the right side of his face, revealing his expression to you as he crouches down to your eye level. You quickly feel your fear die off and it’s replaced with… something else as you study his face. There’s fake blood splattered on his skin, makeup extending the tattoo along the bridge of his nose, and piercings that stand out against his facial features.

“The tub, really?” He whispers to you, chuckling softly and flashing this kind smile at you that makes you feel overly warm inside. “S’this the best you could do? Y’know if I was a real killer you’d be dead right now, right?” Choso teases, all of his words kept in a low voice.

You roll your eyes and shift against the cold tub flooring, “I wouldn’t have hid in here if you guys were real killers, I’m not dumb.”

His lips curve into this sexy yet lazy smirk and you can feel your heart fluttering in your chest. You had a thing for Choso way back before you started dating Geto and it seems as though your body hasn’t forgotten why. “Yeahh?” Choso chastises with another tilt of his head, “Think you would be the final girl?”

Leaning forward a bit, you nod. “No, I know I would.”

Choso lets out a hum before biting his lower lip for a moment. Then, he lets it fall from in between his teeth and you think you’re in a trance. “Oh she’s cocky, huh?” He teases.

You smile at him and then push up to stand on your knees. Leaning all the way forward, you slowly reach for the knife and take it into your hands. Then you move to hold the tip of it right underneath his jaw and the sound of his breath hitching hits your ears just right. 

You openly stare at his lips and watch the way his smirk slowly transcends into a full cocky smile. “Y’know that’s not fake, right?” Choso hushes out to you.

The knife is carefully caressing his skin as you trace it up slightly to his chin, “It’s not?” You ask innocently, placing your free hand on the edge of the tub and watching how he slowly moves to sit on his knees so that he’s looking up at you.

His face is all pretty from this angle, big brown doe-eyes batting up at you so softly, such a pretty face of dark innocence presented before you. Who’s really the ‘victim’ here—you or him?

“Nah,” Choso whispers, “That’s a real knife.”

“Why would you carry around a real knife?” You ask in an equally soft tone as your brows twist up in confusion.

He shrugs. “Honestly, I was gonna ask if you were into a bit of knife play…” 

His words make your mind stray away from the situation at hand. Your imagination is quick to push out ideas and all sorts of scenarios that could have occurred with this knife of his had you not looked so scared when he first saw you…

“Are you?” The question in return makes Choso’s gaze flicker into something way more lustful than it was moments before.

He scoffs, “Am I? Why would I ask you about it if I wasn’t.”

“So… What, you wanna cut my clothes off of somethin’?” You ask carefully, steadily slipping the tip of the knife along his jawline.

Choso just barely nods his head in response.

“Y’know it’s funny you say that and yet you’re the one on your knees with a knife held up to your chin right now.” You point out with an all-knowing grin plastered all over your face.

Choso bites back a laugh. It’s cute that you think you have the upper hand here. “You and I both know that could easily change in a matter of seconds.” He claims.

And y’know, maybe it’s because you found yourself turned on by this whole game or maybe it’s simply because you wanted to fuck Choso but either way—you do not shy away from testing that theory. All you said was a simple ‘prove it’ and you found yourself in quite the position moments later.

It was one thing that Choso managed to easily gain a hold of the knife once more but it was another thing entirely that he was able to swiftly and quietly get you out of the tub and into his arms. All without even so much as grazing you with that sharp weapon too.

It was almost impressive, in all honesty.

Somewhere in the mix of all that, he ends up placing the knife down and soon has you sitting on the bathroom counter. Well, had you sitting on the bathroom counter—it quickly becomes a lot more than simply that.

Choso used that lil’ knife of his to cut down the center of your (Geto’s) shirt and was quick to have you all exposed to his overly greedy eyes. You were wearing nothing more than this lacy black set beneath that oversized shirt so it wasn’t much to get you unclothed.

One second he was cutting your shirt open and the next his lips were on yours. Then his pierced tongue was in your mouth and your arms were around his neck, tugging him closer to you and feeling his hard cock poking you through the thick layers of black clothes between you and him.

Which is exactly what led to the way you are currently.

Choso now has your legs spread wide open for him and his clothes are hardly even off, safe for the black cloak-like jacket that slipped off of his shoulders and the way his pants have been tugged down. He’s got on this black compression shirt and you spot the layered chains/necklaces hanging from around his throat that you heard earlier. Now leaning back slightly against the mirror behind you with your eyes set down between the two of you, you’re left watching the mean slap of Choso’s leaky cockhead against your clit. 

“Cho,” You whispered out pleadingly. He’d been doing this for the longest—tapping his thick cock against your clit and then rubbing it from side to side against you, feeling the way you leak onto the counter below and hearing those faint whines escaping your throat.

Then he has the nerve to have the sluttiest expression on his half-revealed face, eyes all low-lidded and glued to your exposed pussy, bottom lip locked in between his teeth as he holds back his own breathy sounds of pleasure, and brows all tense as if he’s not the one torturing the two of you like this. “Shiiiit,” Choso rasps out, sliding his cock down slowly and pressing his fat tip against your weeping hole. “Suguru was right, this pussy is s’fuckin’ loud ‘n messy…” He breathes.

Your lips are all parted and all you can do is pant softly as he lifts his tip away and then slaps it against your cunt again, listening to the shlick tapping sound that comes from your sex.

Almost in a daze, he glides his cock up and down your wet folds, “Look at herrr,” Choso purrs, “All wet f’me. Can’t believe he’s lettin’ us fuck you.” His hips push forward a bit and you feel the way his heavy shaft glides against your cunt instead of inside like you so desperately want him to.

You have to suppress the needy whine that threatens to escape your throat, holding one hand slightly over your mouth. “Choso, please.” You whisper beneath your palm.

He pulls his hips back and angles his tip back down to your entrance, pushing forward ever so slightly and teasing that tight ring of muscle, not trying to really push himself into you at all. “What is it, princess?” Choso taunts, smirking as he lifts his eyes up to your face, “Want me to fuck you?”

You throb at his words, nodding as if a second longer would have you pronounced dead. “Please,” You whine, trying your best to wiggle your hips forward.

Choso leans forward and moves his lips right up your ear, his breath all warm and tickly against your skin. “Yeah? Y’want my cock inside you that badly?” He says with another faint push of his hips. Every word that leaves his lips has you dripping all over him.

It’s not until you move your hand away from your mouth and place it on the counter space behind you, and whisper, “Yes Choso, just put it all the way in already, I’m losing my fuckin’ m-mind…” Your last word leaves a little shaky due to the way he suddenly moves a hand over your lips.

Pressing his palm against your mouth, you grow confused until you look over to the bottom of the bathroom door and see a shadow moving by. Yet another Ghostface was nearby.

Choso, not yet wanting to ruin his alone time with you, presses his lips further against your ear, and his other hand grips your thigh tightly. “M’not ready t’share you yet so, be really fuckin’ quiet f’me, alright?” His warning confused you for half a second before you felt him roll his hips forward with a sharp snap at the end, stuffing you full with every hard inch of his cock in one go.

Your eyes tear up and your mouth hangs open under his hand, a strangled moan escaping your throat. Choso’s dick is so stupidly big, reminding you of your boyfriend in more ways than one. Unlike Geto though, Choso’s got this ruthless right curve and just drags against your sweet spot with every small movement he makes, the rest of his cock felt throbbing and twitching wildly against your sodden walls.

He lets out a choked grunt against your ear and you can feel him humping his cock deeper inside you with these small maddening little thrusts. “Does he even fuck you? S-Shiiit…” Choso lets his thoughts be vocalized against the crown of your ear and you only squeeze around his girthy shaft. “S’fuckin’ tight.. God-, fu-uck…” His voice has this pretty lil’ crack at the end that makes you soak his cock even more, sloppy juices leaking all out from where the two of you are connected.

Choso has to tug his hips back a bit and he completely forgets that he recently heard someone walking by the bathroom as he mindlessly thrusts right back into you. Your eyes meet the back of your skull and you groan into his palm. The wet gurgles and squelches from your pussy are what draws attention to the bathroom, if any.

Which is something you can’t even control, especially not with the way Choso goes from short grunts in your ear to moaning delightedly against your skin and fucking his thick cock into your sinfully warm cunt. Deep and almost passionate strokes are made into you and he can’t help but rid his hand from your mouth at some point. Moving it back to your thighs, he sprawls your legs out even wider so his cock can dig deeper into you.

With your jaw still hanging open, the sounds of him fucking you against the counter slowly grow louder and louder. You’re trying not to moan but it’s so hard with him—Choso knows how to use his cock all too well and his eyes are studying your face so he knows where exactly he should be thrusting. Just the slightest shift of his hips causes drool to leak from the corner of your lips and that makes him flash this fucked-out little smile.

Choso leans up closer and his body sandwiches against yours for a moment. You swear you can feel his angry cockhead prodding at your guts because fuck is he in there deep. Not to mention how orgasmic it is to feel him drag his pierced tongue against your chin, lapping up the mess of drool from your face before shoving the muscle into your mouth and forcing you to suck on it.

That leaves your moaning drowned out for a bit and Choso takes the opportunity to pound himself into you like a damn madman. Your legs quickly begin to feel like jello in his hands and you couldn’t even focus on sucking on his tongue anymore. Then, he pulls his mouth away, just barely, and the two of you are staring deep into each other’s eyes as his pace gets faster. His hips are so sharp against you and you can feel his weighty balls slapping against your ass with every mean and pronounced thrust.

Your breath mingles with one another and you’re both so fucked out that you don’t even realize you’re a lot louder now until you spot the bathroom door cracking open in your peripherals. It barely makes a sound as it’s pushed open slightly and all you see is yet another person wearing a Ghostface mask—the sight alone and the clear eye contact you make with them leading straight to your orgasm.

The second Ghostface stands motionless, doing nothing more than watching the blissful way your eyes lull to the back of your head and you release this sweet moan of Choso’s name. Choso, oblivious to being watched right now, is so close to emptying himself inside you.

“F-Fuck,” He huffs, tipping his head back and looking up to the ceiling for a moment. “So tight… I’m gonna c-cum if you keep squeezin’ me like that.” His voice fluctuates here and there but by the time your eyes roll back into place, the bathroom door is shut and that second Ghostface is now standing right behind Choso.

You flinch and Choso chokes out a grunt at how tightly you just clenched around his cock. The second Ghostface is slow to lift his mask up a bit, only revealing his mouth with this recognizable snake bite piercing that has your cunt gripping onto Choso even tighter. Then, the man leans to Choso’s ear and practically scares him into cumming inside you.

“What do we have here, hm?” Gojo whispers, making Choso’s hips stutter against you. He then reaches a gloved hand around Choso and your neglected clit is met with his thumb swatting over it, “Can’t believe you found her first. S’not fair…” Gojo hums softly with a slight pout.

You have this dumbfounded look all over your face and you may be fucked out of your mind but you swear Choso’s cock is almost harder inside you. The two of you curse in unison as Gojo rotates his thumb against your clit in a sensual circle motion, making you clench again and Choso rolls his gaze back—only the whites of his eyes visible to you.

“K-Keep rubbin’ her like that,” Choso pants with a soft moan. “She’s so fucking tight… I’m gonna die in here, s-shit.” He curses dramatically.

Gojo flicks his thumb upwards against your clit with a nasty trickle of your slick oozing out onto Choso’s cock. “You’re not gonna die, Cho,” He says in a chastising tone with a smile on his face, taking his free hand to pull his mask further up so that you can see his eyes. 

You watch the way Gojo looks over Choso’s shoulder and stares at Choso’s lengthy cock disappearing in and out of your slobbering pussy. Gojo feels his own dick throb against his pants, pressing himself a bit closer to Choso and moving to talk into his ear. “I mean look at her,” Gojo directs, leading to Choso focusing his hazy gaze onto your face. “You’re already fucking her to tears, you’re not gonna die, heh. You’re fuckin’ her good.”

That last praise is what causes Choso to slump forward against you and roll his hips harshly against you—followed by which is a thick spurt of cum as he finishes inside you with a broken groan pouring from his lips. All as Gojo keeps his thumb on your clit, despite his hand getting squished in between you and Choso’s body. 

Then Gojo smirks and leans in toward Choso again, “There ya’ go, good boy. Let it all out inside her. Jus’ like that…” 

You don’t think you’ve ever been this… ruined before in your life. Watching Gojo tease and praise Choso like that while you were still being fucked and your clit was being stimulated led to you abruptly squirting. Choso’s cock slips right out of you and Gojo removes his hand just so that both of them could watch you let out that filthy lil’ stream.

Choso’s completely out of it as he watches your pussy spasm wildly. “Holy…” He whispers, hardly able to finish the rest of his statement.

Gojo clicks his tongue, “Suguru didn’t tell us you were a squirter. Or, has he never made you do that before?” He asks, slowly lifting his eyes up to your face.

You look like you’re about to pass out, your body all sweaty as you lean back against the mirror again and pant heavily. “He… hah, f-fuck, h-he has.” You squeak out softly.

Gojo hums before looking back down, allowing Choso to step (stumble) back slightly past him so he can catch his breath. Then, once Choso is completely out of the way and the space between your legs is left vacant—Gojo lets out an alarming chuckle.

He watches the way Choso’s cum dribbles out of your overstimulated cunt, glob after glob leaking out so prettily that Gojo can’t help but crouch down to get a closer look. Your eyes lazily follow his snowy head of hair and watch as his face is repositioned in between your spread legs. He moves his gloved thumb to your pussy lips and sloshes that mix of you and Choso’s cum around against you. 

Then, Gojo flicks his gaze up to you and you gulp. He looks you dead in the eyes before spreading your lips further apart with his thumb and leaning forward. Your jaw drops in shock as Gojo cups his mouth against your pussy and suckles the mess from Choso into his mouth.

You whine, “S-Satoru—oh, w-wait,” You’re left gasping as you shoot a hand down to his hair and grip him tightly.

Gojo groans deeply and you feel his tongue lap against your saturated cunt leisurely. Moving up and down in a sloppy filthy manner, your legs are trembling while Gojo cleans you up casually. 

Choso’s sitting on the nearby toilet seat now, batting his lashes at Gojos actions in shock. “Satoru you… you know I just—“

“Mhmm,” Gojo mumbles into your pussy, pulling his lips back just barely to allow a cool slap of air to hit you. Then, he swallows. “You both taste really,” Gojo leans back in to kiss your cunt, “Mmph… fuckin’ sweet.” He murmurs against you before slithering his tongue inside you.

Your back arches and your legs move to close around his head as your fingers tug desperately on his locks of hair. “S’toru,” You mumble, “Fuck. Please… mgh, n-needa’ break. I-I can’t—“

Gojo tilts his head and smiles into your honeyed slick, “Sweetheart,” He rasps against you, suckling on your taste for a moment longer before pulling off with a wet pop! “I jus’ got here ‘n you want a break from me already?” He says, pushing out his bottom lip to pout. “That’s so mean.”

Before you even get the chance to argue with that, he’s diving right back in and eating you out like a man staved. Sucking, licking, kissing, spitting—Gojo’s between your legs in some kind of trance as he drools all over his current meal. He’s such a messy eater too, his actions quickly leading to the lower half of his face being coated with remnants of you.

After a bit, Choso seems to have collected himself and he’s soon standing up. His pants have been hastily pulled up and you’re too lost in the overstimulation Gojo’s giving you to realize Choso is approaching you too. When your eyes lift, you see Choso with his Ghostface mask back over his face and his phone held in his right hand.

Cocking his head to the side, he looms closer to Gojo and sneaks a, now gloved, hand into his bright white tufts of hair, prying his mouth away from your cunt with a harsh tug. You watch with teary eyes as Choso holds his phone up to Gojo’s face, and hums out a low, “Smile.” With the voice changer turned on.

Gojo sparks a toothy grin and his expression is all high in pleasure. He looks faded out of his mind, simply off of eating you out alone. The flash from Choso’s phone lights up the bathroom and within the picture he just took, only your legs are visible dangling over Gojo’s shoulders. They’d just recreated that infamous photo you see around this time of year all over your socials. Usually, the victim would be laid out stomach first on the floor and Ghostface would tug their head up by their hair but, this definitely works too.

“Atta’ boy,” Choso praises after he’s taken the desired amount of pictures. 

Gojo looks up to you and he’s pretty sure he can see little hearts in your eyes as you glance back and forth between him and Choso. “You don’t mind, do ya’? We wanna have somethin’ to remember this by,” He tells you.

You simply shake your head no and both of the men in front of you smile. Choso then nods his head a little before using his grasp on Gojo’s hair to shove him back down in between your legs—earning a surprised hum from your throat and a muffled groan from Gojo’s. 

Despite the little Surprise, Gojo gets back to work with his mouth and you end up leaning forward a bit in surprise. Choso moves over to the side a bit and he feels you drop a hand to Gojo’s head to give him a light push away so he can ease up on you. In contrast to this, Choso steals your attention by wrapping a free hand of his around your throat. Your eyes shoot up to him and you’re met with the eyes of Ghostface since he’s got the mask back on.

Purposefully, he does that head tilt again. So slowly does it tip to the side as Gojo’s teeth graze your clit, causing you to let out a pleasureful yelp. “Fuck!” You gasp, to which Choso removes his hand from Gojo’s hair.

Creeping up along your body, Choso grabs a greedy handful of your breast before leaning in. “That was loud, princess. You’re gonna get us all caught,” He snickers to you.

Your bottom lip quivers and you think the sight of it makes Choso feel bad. He takes his hand off of your tits for just a second to pull his mask up and then returns his gasp. Both of you have the same idea in mind but it’s you that reaches for him this time, tugging him in so that his lips can meet yours again.

And then it’s just sloppy from there on out. Anyone with ears could walk past that bathroom, or anywhere down stairs for that matter, and hear the sliding of lips over one another followed by gurgled gasps and barely muffed goans. Choso’s making out with you while he plays with your tits in his hands and Gojo’s still lost in between your legs.

Your whole body feels like it’s on fire and your head is beginning to spin from how good you feel everywhere. It only gets worse when the two start muttering praises out to you.

Dragging his lips down to your chest, Choso hushes out these elated whispers, “C’mon pretty girl, don’t tap out on us jus’ yet.”

Then there’s Gojo who moves to suck on your inner thigh. “Yeahh, don’t tap out. Let us make you feel good, baby.” He hums into your skin.

The counter beneath your ass is a slippery wet mess just like the bottom of Gojo's face and all the way down his neck with the way he let your juices trickle along his skin as he ate. All three of you get a little lost in the moment for quite some time. So much that you all seem to forget there’s supposed to be a third Ghostface.

Who, unknowingly, ends up silently opening the bathroom door and catching the way his two friends have his girlfriend all spread out ‘n ruined like some slut. Geto swore he almost came in his pants at the sight alone. You don’t seem to notice he’s standing there and you’re the only one facing him. His eyes are all over your wet expression, watching and listening to you moan two other guy’s names.

He didn’t even want to say anything. Geto just wanted to remain where he was and watch because lord knows if he joins in he won’t last longer than a few seconds. So, he does exactly that—going completely unnoticed there for a while. 

Up until Gojo pulls his mouth off of you for a second. He looks up to see Choso decorating your chest in hot kisses and wet hickies, the two of you constantly making eye contact with one another before he moves his lips to yours again. Fuck just watching you two was hot. So hot that it makes Gojo wonder where the hell his best friend is at and why he’s missing out on all this.

Which is what leads to him turning around to glance back at the bathroom entrance, quickly spotting Geto standing there leaning against the door frame. Well, shit. It’s in that moment that Gojo realizes he sees the appeal in the whole Ghostface thing because fuck is his best friend just as hot as everything and everyone else in this damn room.

After Gojo, you’re the next person to realize your boyfriend is now present, and then Choso seconds later. Each of you have this face as if you’d been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to but that little detail is irrelevant given how Geto could care less about how he was the last to find you. And sure, he may have watched you run into the bathroom earlier and could’ve gone in there to scare you a while ago but, watching Choso and Gojo eventually find you and then listening to them interact with you from outside the bathroom was far more entertaining.

—

So, one thing led to another and…

You find yourself laid out in your bed all over again, this time accompanied with three men. Geto was the first to get himself situated—seating himself not too far away from the bed and telling you to “put on a show for him”.

By this point, who were you to even question him? If Gojo and Choso were leading things before, they damn sure aren’t now because it’s you who’s ordering them around and letting them know where you want them. Starting with you on all fours, showing off that arch that Geto has had you perfect over the years. Then your legs part slowly and Gojo’s behind you in a trance as he watches you move a hand to spread your cunt open for him.

“You spoil us, sweetheart,” Gojo rasps in a low pitch, voice slightly hoarse from how long he’d gone without talking earlier. 

You wanted to focus on him some more but a pair of fingers are placed on your chin and your face is quickly redirected to the second man of need. The moment your head turns, you’re met with Choso’s fat cockhead right in front of your face. Batting your lashes, you’re slow to look all the way up to him and see the way he’s smirking down at you.

“‘Could get off on that look alone, y’know.” Choso comments deeply in reference to your wide glossed over eyes and how close his tip is to your lips.

Gojo’s behind you frowning at the way Choso stole your attention yet again. In an attempt to, at least, have your mind on him once more, Gojo simply pushes his hips forward and eyes the sloppy part of your pussy spread against his pink tip. He hears it, Choso hears it, they all hear the way you gasp softly. It’s like they’re all hyper aware of every sound or slight movement you make.

Immediately after, your hips are wiggling back and Gojo’s quick to palm the fats of your ass. “Finally givin’ me some attention now, huh?” He quips.

You pull away from Choso’s touch just to look back at Gojo. “Suguru should’ve told you guys, I hate bein’ teased.” The way you force yourself back on him not even a second after that last word is leaving your lips has Gojo’s jaw falling and his fingers curling into your skin.

“W-Woah sweets, you could’ve warned me f-first…” He stammers, eyes dropping down to your greedy cunt swallowing up his lengthy inches of cock like it’s nothing. Gojo had to bite back a whine as he listened to the syrupy squelches that came with each backward push of your hips. “Fuuck, don’t stop. Give it t’me, baby.”

Gojo doesn’t even have to move yet and you’re already letting off a shaky moan, driving your hips back carefully and feeling him fill up every inch of your cunt. He’s all dazed while he watches his aching cock delve deep inside you, inch by inch—you take him like you were fuckin’ made for him. 

The man is just dazed. He understands why Choso said he was gonna die earlier becuase fuckin’ hell he’s not even all the way in yet and you’re already clamping around his veiny shaft with no intention of ever letting go. And the goddamn arch you have, they way your ass looks all pretty backing up against him—

Gojo’s thrusting forward before he even realizes he is and his hands slide up to your hips to hold you nice ‘n steady. Your legs shake and your jaw mirrors his with the way it just hangs open. Then there’s your eyes and the way they roll back, a delicious moan exiting from deep within your throat.

He definately fucks you harder than Choso was earlier because you can feel his cock everywhere—he has you so stupidly full and dumb on his dick within seconds, landing a mean hand down onto your ass amid his thrusts.

“Ohh fuck, Suguru y’had this pussy all to yourself all this time?” Gojo grunts. “…S-Selfish bastard.”

Gojo’s hands are arguably slimmer than your boyfriends but his grip on you is just the same. Hence why you can’t do anything as he tugs you back to meet his rough pounding. Hell, all you’re left with is a brain full of nothing as your head turns to face forwards and you unconsciously look up at a stunned Choso.

His hand is wrapped around his cock and despite being right in front of your face, he’s definitely jerking off to they way Gojo’s fucking you (or maybe just to Gojo himself, who knows). When Choso does look down, you see his brows twist up and his lips part.

Your mouth is already hanging open so clearly you’re silently offering to help him, right? Which is why he angles himself toward your gape mouth and grunts, “Open up f’me pretty girl, nice ‘n wide…”

And you do, widening your mouth for him to slide his cock in steadily. Choso hisses at the sensation, the underside of his cock gliding down the center of your slobbering wet tongue so lewdly that it makes his teeth grind together. God, if you weren’t every bit of perfect like this. He watches the way his dick fills your mouth and feels how ridiculously tight your throat is as he eases his hips forward.

Almost in unison, Gojo and Choso and up tossing their heads back—one letting out a guttural groan and the other releasing a sweet moan. You’re soaked just about everywhere. Your pussy is sobbing and dripping around Gojo’s cock and your mouth is hardly any better with the way drool is dribbling down from your chin and onto the bed.

All as your boyfriend is losing his ever loving mind. 

Geto came twice in his hand already and yet he’s still bucking his hips up into his fist. He’s never been this hard in his life. Something about watching you get absolutely ravaged by his two friends just make his dick throb in ways he cannot explain. You look perfect too, so damn angelic despite the rather sinful situation you’re in. There’s a creamy mess of cum slicked up and down Geto’s length from the thick tip to his base.

You’re busy getting fucked to tears (again) by Gojo and Choso, one of which has a heavy hand on your head encouraging your throat further around his curved cock and the other keep’s snapping his hips against your ass with his weighty balls grazing your clit every now and then. 

You’re all so screwed. This is like something straight out of a damn porno and yet you didn’t care. Hell, you could hardly fathom enough thoughts at the moment to care.

And of course all three of them are just babbling all sorts of things to you, teasing you, taunting you, making you dizzy with pleasure.

Gojo’s back there spreading your ass apart and watching how wet you’ve gotten his dick, smiling sinfully at the sight. “Look at this pretty girl,” He grunts, “Takin’ my cock so. fucking. well. ungh.”

Then there’s Choso, nodding along as if he agrees with Gojo’s groaned words. His fingers are buried into your hair and by this point he’s fucking your face at the same rate Gojo’s fucking your cunt. “Her throat’s even better—shit. Y’should see how her lips look wrapped around me right now. Especially when I get,” Choso pauses just to give his hips one tortuously slow push, making you deepthroat his angry cockhead. “Right here, f-fuck.”

Again, Geto’s on the side just losing himself at the moment. You make the mistake of glancing over at him and his eyes lock with yours. Geto’s bottom lip is quivering and you watch his hand jerk himself off faster, his legs shifting open and closed as he overstimulates himself. Some nerve you had to look at him as if you don’t have two cocks inside you right now.

“M’gonna cum,” Geto’s muttering to himself over and over in some fucked-out little mantra. 

Watching his head toss back and the way his Adam's apple bobs up and down is probably one of the sexiest sights. The Ghostface mask is all pulled up and his hair is splayed out in a mess of strands.

You end up gagging around Choso when Gojo hits your sweet spot for the sixth time in a row, your fingernails clawing against the sheets below. That’s all it takes for Choso to pull out and come undone all over your face without warning. In his defense, he wasn’t expecting your throat to tighten around him like that so suddenly…

Geto’s not too far behind, cumming in thick ropes with a sexy groan of your name leaving his lips—a sight you barely get to see because then Gojo’s leaning over you and your torso is suddenly pressed down against the bed for a moment. Then, you’re tugged up by a harsh grasp of your hair and Gojo’s fucking you even rougher than he was before, pressing his lips right against your ear.

“Fuckin’ slut,” He degrades so suddenly, wraping a free hand around your waist just to swat a finger over your clit again. “Look at this mess,” Oh, he’s just mean all of a sudden. Gojo lets go of your hair and turns your face toward him, leaning in and… licking the remnants of Choso’s release off of your face, again.

Your breath hitches and you wish you could have said something snarky but then you’re shoved right back down onto the bed. Gojo shifts his gaze to Choso, who flinches at the sudden eye contact, and then motions for him to come closer.

Once he does, Gojo grabs him by the jaw and pulls him in. “Open your mouth,” He breathes out hotly.

Choso bats his lashes at the man but doesn’t hesitate, parting his lips and taking the extra step as to sticking his tongue out. Gojo spits right onto the center of it and then smirks, “Good boy, now swallow it ‘n taste yourself f’me.” 

It’s right about then that you release for the nth time of the night, followed by you squirting again due to the exchange you just heard between those two men. Then, as you wait for the stars in your vision to clear out, you hear Choso gulp loudly.

Half-way smiling to himself, Choso scoffs. “Guess you were right… I do taste pretty sweet.”

perm multi tags (1/2):

@cupidstrace @navyllll @grignardsreagent @kingofpiratesiguess @etsuniiru @not-a-glad-gladiator @2kool4skoolll @daxphoriax @gorouenjoyer @blubearxy

@wonderfullymickey @iaintblockinnobody @kitassecretgf @iam-souless @nanamitiddiechomper @ohreallyfriend @withersworld @lilacsforveins @suguphile @megottheswaskikacooooke

@kvsqkiii @yourlocalcatscammer @lucy-lulu @sukubusss @sweetieelilii @lisabelhyhn @serenadesvt @riameriash @arminseas2 @palanggaaa

@cherslop @makingtimemine @theodoresvalentine @blcknebula @babblybebe @iluvatsumuuuui @remscreams @cursedkisss @jaibunni @blkkizzat

Scott is your best friend, your partner-in-crime. The two of you have been glued to each other’s sides for as long as you can remember. He’s a few years older than you and you grew up chasing after his footsteps, and he never seemed to mind. You never curbed that habit.

Not when you ended up graduating from the same university, with a major that complemented his future career. Not when you recruited for StormPAR because he was leading investor relations there. Not when you decided to pack up your life and move to the midwest to chase tornadoes.

In the first week of your three-month research project for the new sensors, you and Scott had a little too much to drink. One kiss led to another and suddenly you’re falling into bed with him. 

Scott hesitates initially, his words about how relationships and women are a pain echo in your mind — so you find yourself blurting out we can keep this simple, no strings. 

He only grunts in agreement before he slides into you. His mouth is hot, distracting, and the unsaid agreement is signed with the burning ache between your legs. 

So you buried your feelings, swallowed your ego, and took what he could give you. 

Because, for Scott, you’ll eat the crumbs if it means you get to keep the taste of him on your tongue. 

It should be fine — this arrangement. You get him and he gets company every night, particularly when you’re in the middle of nowhere surrounded by crazy weather fanatics. Theoretically, it should be fine.

But you never expected the addition of a new variable — Kate. 

Kate is… perfect. She’s gorgeous, sweet, and terribly smart. Within days of joining the team, she’s leading them to the greatest tornadoes, giving them the opportunity to collect prime data they’ve never been able to capture. She’s quick as a whip and she seems to get along with everyone — whether it’s the prissy, uptight StormPAR guys or the wild, free-flying tornado enthusiasts.

Once again, it should be fine, except you’ve never seen Scott so bothered by someone. She’s different, you can see it. The way he watches her, frowns at her. He calls her dandelion. You’ve always only had your name, he’s never had a cute pet name for you. You can’t help but wonder what he thinks about when he sees her.

If she is what he sees now when he fucks you. Even when you’re in bed with him, his mind is sometimes far away. He absentmindedly traces your bare shoulder, keeping you close even if his attention seems elsewhere.

You can’t watch him be silently enamored with someone else so you start leaving at the end of the night.

He doesn’t stop you.

One day, when your friend tells you about an opening for a data analyst position, you entertain it — even if it means you have to move to New York.

Because, while you love Scott, you also can’t bear to watch him fall for someone who isn’t you.

As you’re leaving his room one night, he finally stops you. He’s still naked in his bed, sheets pooled around his hips, as he catches your hand. The look on his face is indifferent when he asks you why you don’t stay; he is asking out of curiosity, not out of desire.

You’re shrugging on your shirt, back turned towards him. “I have to get up early tomorrow. I’ve got an interview.”

Maybe you shouldn’t have revealed that, but you’re exhausted and the honest answer slips.

“An interview? With who? For what?” He sounds more alert now.

“Just a job.”

“You’ve already got a job,” Scott presses, forcing you to face him with a tug of his hand. His brows are furrowed.

“I don’t know. I might want to try something different.”

He blinks at you for a moment, gears turning in his mind. “Something different,” he echoes slowly.

“It’s not a big deal,” you brush him off, “I don’t even know if I’ll get it. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

Scott, again, doesn’t say a word.

It seems so… easy for him to let you go. You know it isn’t on him to love you the same way you do him; that’s not a fair ask. But you also have enough pride to know when to take a step back.

Creating physical distance is not the challenging part; it’s dealing with the emotional toll. Every time you have to avoid your silently-designated spot next to him at bars or how you opt to take Javy’s car instead of his, a piece of your frail heart chips away. You don’t come over uninvited anymore, instead sliding under your own covers for the first time in weeks.

Scott’s not a fool. Of course, he notices but he still doesn’t say anything.

On the other hand, he actually starts talking more with Kate, private chats in the corner of a bar or early mornings over coffee. Sometimes his gaze would flick over to you, harden, and ultimately return to her. That used to be you, but you left that space empty for someone else to fill.

Then you finally get the call.

“I got the job,” you tell him quietly that night.

You told yourself this would be the last time. One last night with him before — for the first time in your life — you allow your paths to diverge. Scott in Oklahoma, you in New York.

The two of you are side by side in bed, you’ve slipped on his t-shirt, drowning in the cotton and his familiar storm-stained scent. You allow yourself to indulge in your last night.

Scott doesn’t look at you, his eyes zeroed in on the blank television screen of the crappy motel room. “Do you want it?”

No, no, you don’t. You want to stay here — with him and the rest of the team. But this is also a great opportunity, both for your career and the survival of your heart. “I think so.”

He whips around to face you, eyes flashing with what you think is irritation. “You think so? You’re not even sure?”

“Well, it’s a big jump, but I might take it,” you swallow.

“You shouldn’t do it unless you’re absolutely sure.”

You roll your eyes at him. “I’m never absolutely sure about anything.” Except for the fact that I’m in love with you and that it would destroy me if I stay and watch you fall in love with Kate.

“Then don’t go. Stay here.”

His words are cold and stiff. It’s calculated. You are an asset to the team. It would be a pain to hire a new analyst in the middle of tornado season and get them fully trained to do what you do. Maybe you could stay just another month until all this is over, maybe you can get them to postpone your start date.

But could you really do it? Could you stand by the sidelines and swallow your feelings long enough to last until the bitter end?

Sighing, you know your answer. “I’m not going to lie. I don’t think I can do this anymore. I don’t think I can be here anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

It’s now or never. If you’re leaving anyway, you might as well confront him — if you can’t have him, then at least Kate could.

“I’m not stupid, you know. I can see it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re in love.”

The pin-drop silence that ensues is deafening. Your heart thunders against your eardrums; you can hear the hitch of his breath.

“I’m not—” he stops himself, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

With a deep sigh, you extract yourself from his side. Your fingers pick at the worn linen. “I’ve never seen you like this before, Scott. And listen, I get it if you want to end all this, whatever we’re doing.” He frowns. “Kate is wonderful, so I understand.”

Scott’s furrow only deepens. “What the hell are you going on about?”

“You and Kate,” you say, tongue heavy like lead in your mouth. “You guys make a good pair. I’m happy it’s working out, but I just can’t be here to watch that happen so I’m going to take the offer and move to New York. I know it’s tough to replace my work during this time, I’ll try and stay until the end of the season, but afterwards—”

“Fuck that,” he snaps, “like hell you’re leaving. What do you mean you can’t be here anymore? What are you going on about with Kate?”

Maybe he thinks you’re badmouthing her. “She’s great! I’m happy for you. I’m just—” your chest constricts. “I’m in love with you. Shit. I’ve been in love with you, Scott. I can’t do this no-strings thing anymore. I thought I could take it, whatever scraps you’ll let me have, but I can’t. Especially not when you’re falling for someone else.”

Scott pinches the bridge of his nose and he looks more than pissed off as he looks at you. “Who said anything about falling for someone else? Also, you’re in love with me? Since when?”

A groan slips past your lips. “This is so humiliating. Can we drop it?”

“Oh, no, you started this, so you answer my question. Since when have you been in love with me?”

“Forever! Fucking forever alright. Is that what you want to hear?” You grumble, “I was in love with you before… this even started.”

You see his tongue press against the inside of his cheek, his blue eyes sharp. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you’re my friend, Scott.”

“Apparently not if you didn’t fucking tell me,” he glares.

“Would it have changed anything?”

Disbelief colors his face. “It would’ve changed everything. Are you kidding me? You’ve been in love with me all this time and you didn’t tell me?”

Is the thought of you loving him really that repulsive? He’s got his hands balled into fists on the sheets, jaw clenched like he would rather be anywhere but here. While the possibility of him rejecting you has always crossed your mind, you didn’t think that he would have this visceral a reaction. Gone are your chances of maintaining a cordial relationship after you leave.

He’s right. This changes everything.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, “I shouldn’t have—” your breath snags in your throat again, your eyes sting with unshed tears. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t want this to change anything between us. We’ll stay friends.”

“We can’t stay friends,” he scowls. Your heart sinks.

You press the heel of your palms against your eyes, praying the tears away. The last thing you want to do is cry in front of him. “I can’t— I’m gonna go. I need to—”

“No, you’re staying right here so I can kiss some fucking sense into you.”

For a second, you can’t hear past the rushing in your ears, the frantic urge to leave. But when his words settle in and your brain slowly digests each individual syllable, you pull your wet hands away from your eyes. Scott swallows thickly when he sees your face.

“You think what — that I was in love with Kate?” He scoffs but there’s no weight to his words. He almost sounds weak. “What gave you that idea?”

You balk at him. It’s your turn to be confused. “You— you’re literally always watching her! You call her dandelion for god’s’ sake! Who gets a cute nickname like that?”

“That’s because I’m bad with names! You know this. You know me. It took me a while to remember her name — and I keep watching her because she’s like this little circus freak. Who the hell guesses storms by looking at goddamn flowers?”

You open your mouth, then promptly shut it again. Speechless.

“And that job? I can’t fucking believe you even thought about leaving. Leaving all this. Leaving me. You know damn well I’d never let that happen. If you really wanted it — and you were leaving for yourself, then sure, do it, but you’re out of your mind if you don’t think I’ll be following you to the ends of the earth.”

Your lungs stutter against your ribs. “What?”

Scott turns to face you, hands sliding up to cup the back of your neck. He forces you to look at him. To really look at him. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been fucking in love with you.” 

You feel the desert in your throat when you croak out, “Since when?”

“Forever.”

“Why didn’t you tell me then?”

“You were the one who said you wanted to keep it no strings! I thought you didn’t want to date.”

“That’s because you’re always going on and on about how women and relationships are a pain!”

Scott lets out a frustrated breath, as if you’re the fool in this situation. “Except when it comes to you! Jesus, you’re never a pain. You’re the best part of my day. I think about you all the goddamn time. Sometimes, I want you to stop doing this tornado chasing thing because it’s dangerous and I want you in a safe fucking bubble where nobody, nothing can touch you. But you’re passionate and I fucking love that and I fucking love you.”

“But you— what— this can’t be happening.”

“You’re a goddamn idiot.”

Your lips press together. “You love me and you’re calling me a goddamn idiot? Really?”

“That’s because you are. Fuck. I can’t believe I wasted all this time. I can’t believe I even let you take that interview,” Scott grouses, mostly to himself. “I need you to get it through your thick skull that I don’t want anyone else. It’s always been you. You think I’d let anyone tail me around like you did?”

A pinched pout forms on your lips, mostly to stop yourself from crumbling. “I just thought you felt bad for me.”

“You somehow managed to be the smartest person on this team and the biggest idiot,” he mumbles. “I love you. I’m not letting you out of my sight, you hear me. Need you in my car every day. Next to me every time we go out. I need you in my bed every night and I don’t want you leaving either. We’ll share one room from now on.”

You sniffle, “That’s very fiscally responsible of you.”

Scott chuckles, “Well, I’ll take any excuse to keep you next to me. Can’t have you getting bored with me.”

“Please,” you roll your eyes with a smile, “if we’ve survived this long without getting sick of each other, what’s forever, right?”

The reality of what you’ve just said slams into you like a truck. Heat floods your insides.

“I mean—”

“Is that a proposal?” He smirks. Before you can dig a bigger hole for yourself, Scott leans over and presses his lips against yours.

Sweet, slow, steady.

“Because I’ve got a ring with your name on it back at home. I’ve been itching for a reason to finally take it out.”

“You’re unbelievable,” you mutter, cheeks warm.

“Yeah, well, you love me anyway.”

That, you can’t deny.

+ sam: you know how excited i was to write this and i hope it didnt disappoint. ily queen thank you for always matching my freak and my yap mwah!!

scott is yearning for (taglist): @unabashedlyinlovewithyou @eiaf4uwn @thebabykashmere @nbhrhn @w1nchesterfiles @ae1szn @pinksplace @stanmarvelous @coffinlolz

A servant, dignified and aloof, came. They, with their white hair stained with crimson, took one look at you before making a silent decision. 

Carried by goblin-looking creatures inside the mountain, which parted as though unhinging its jaw, you could do nothing but accept that you were going to be eaten up by the very monsters that children were warned about.

Navigating the carved out hallways of the mountain, they threw you in the throne room. Jagged stone walls surrounded you. Glowing red rocks were embedded in the rocks and lit torches illuminated the grand space. You were laying on the rolled out red carpet, staring up at a giant of a being. 

There he was.

Sukuna Ryomen.

He was resting his head on one of his four arms, legs crossed, with all four eyes gazing down at you. He looked bored. 

“What is this?” he drawled.

The same servant you first met stepped up, head bowed humbly. They said, “Entertainment, my Lord.”

“Entertainment?” the king repeated, tasting the word. “Not a snack? Interesting. How, pray tell, will this woman entertain me, if not with the taste of her flesh, Uraume?”

It was an absurd situation — they were discussing you as if you weren’t there, as if you didn’t have ears, as if you were a pet the servant had picked up as a gift. Although, it was at least a small blessing that you hadn’t been killed on the spot, you supposed. The thought, however, didn’t permit much relief when unimaginable torture could have awaited you.

‘Uraume’ answered, “The humans intended for her to be your wife, my Lord. Perhaps you could humour them with brief belief that they have been spared from their inevitable fate.”

At that, Sukuna hummed.

His eyes met your own then. They inspected you through your very soul. You felt their branding touch rifling through your essence. Something passed in them, something to which you could not put words. 

Finally, he waved a lazy hand, and said, “Very well.”

The servants rushed to take you away, afraid to waste a single second. 

You’ve been living in a room somewhere in the heart of the mountain since. 

It’s been about a week. 

Meals on a tray are served to you three times a day. Porridge, fruits, bread, the sorts. You do your best not to eat much; they might have poisoned it. 

Every day, every hour, is spent anticipating the wooden doors being kicked down, waiting for the Curse King to forgo delaying your fate and slicing your head off your shoulders with one, clean cut. So far, nothing yet. 

In fact, you have not seen another soul since. 

The first night, you couldn’t sleep, afraid that he would take the villagers up on the offer to make you his real bride, by plunging his cock into you and stealing your maidenhead. It didn’t, and hasn’t, happened. But ‘yet’ looms over you perpetually. 

Your one consolation is that sleep comes to you easily now.

It’s all you can do — the room is barren of books, of people, of art. Only a bed, a table, and a chamber pot with a bucket of water decorate it. There are no windows with which you can view the outside world, can tell what time of day it is, can escape through, or jump off. Only your body’s natural instincts inform you when morning and time to slumber has arrived. 

Though…

With the days blurring, and perpetual and dim light of the glowing rocks remaining unchanged, it’s beginning to grow more and more difficult to tell left from right. 

The doors are unlocked. 

That was the first thing you tested when you were placed here. 

Of course you’ve considered walking out of the room, if only to have a change of scenery. You’ve also considered escaping. But your thoughts would always end up at ‘escaping to where?’

You’ve been abandoned by your village, by your family. They would not accept you. They would see your return as a sign that the Curse King had rejected their sacrifice and would be coming to collect the debt. In other words, you’d be seen as a bad omen. 

It was your destiny to die, whether by the hands of your family or by the hands of the beast they were afraid of.

So if death is a certainty, why would you fear it?

That’s the final thought that pushes you out of bed and to the door. Your hand hesitated for a second. Then it was sure. You opened it, body tense. 

No one’s outside. No guard, no goblins, no king.

You pad out, feet bare and wearing only a nightgown. How deep inside the mountain are you, you wonder. There’s a draught blowing past, but no sound of the forest to fill the space. No voices. No footsteps. No life.

“Where is everyone?” you mutter, padding forward.

Who can say how long you wander through the tunnels? 

It feels like it’s been hours, though with the way time seems to pass differently, it could also have only been mere minutes. 

Eventually, you spot light coming from a hollow in the walls. Carefully and with bated breath, you peer inside.

Steam wafts over your face.

It’s warm — startlingly so against the chill that seems to cling to every corridor of the mountain. You hesitate again, also only a moment before stepping inside. 

The ceiling arches high above, rough stone glistening with condensation, droplets forming and falling in slow, steady rhythms that echo softly in the space. The air is thick, humid, curling around your skin. It tickles.

At the centre of the chamber lies a pool.

It’s set into a wide, uneven basin in the ground. The water glows faintly from beneath, lit by the same red-veined stones embedded along the walls, but here their light is softened, diffused through the steam until it casts everything in a hazy, molten glow.

The surface of the water ripples lazily, disturbed by unseen currents, by the quiet bubbling from somewhere deep below. Heat rises from it in waves, beckoning, almost inviting.

Who knew something like this existed inside a mountain?

Carefully, you approach the edge of the pool, crouching slightly as you extend a hand. Your fingers hover for a second before dipping into the water.

Hot.

But not scalding.

“A bath,” you mumble, smiling.

Here, of all places.

The servants had given you a bed to sleep on, a table to eat at, and a pot to do your business in that seemed to be cleaned out magically without you ever seeing anyone. What they hadn’t granted, however, is the luxury of a bath. Only a bucket to and a rag to clean yourself with. 

You glance back toward the tunnel, as if half-expecting someone, something, to be watching. But there’s nothing and no one. Only the distant drip of water and the low hum of the mountain breathing around you.

Your reflection stares back at you from the shifting surface, blurred by steam and movement. The quiet stretches.

If you’ll be killed for stepping outside your room, at least you’ll die clean and fresh. 

Shrugging off your nightgown, you dip your toe in the water, then your leg and the other, and soon you’re fully emerged. 

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” you moan, letting the water soothe the aches in your bones. You sink deeper. The heat swallows you whole, up to your shoulders, then your chin. Your eyes flutter shut as you tilt your head back, strands of your hair clinging damply to your skin.

For a moment, just a moment, you forget. Forget the mountain, the monsters, the fate waiting patiently for you somewhere in its depths. The tension bleeds out of your limbs, your breathing slowing, evening out as the warmth seeps into you.

You drift, arms floating lazily at your sides.

A soft sigh escapes you. This is just like swimming in the lake near the village, except it’s warm and lovely and soothing. 

It’s…peaceful.

Too peaceful.

Your eyes open.

Something feels…off suddenly. The water, once gently lapping, stills in a way that isn’t natural. The faint bubbling from below seems to deepen, shift. Like something moving far beneath the surface.

Your body goes rigid.

Slowly, you glance down. The water is dark there. Deeper than it should be. The glow from the stones doesn’t quite reach the bottom — it falls away into shadow, into something that looks less like a pool and more like a pit.

A pit that could swallow you whole.

Your breath catches. 

“…Hello?” you call softly, though you don’t know why.

The surface trembles.

Something moves.

Your heart lurches into your throat. Instinct kicks in before thought does. You turn sharply, water sloshing as you begin to move, arms cutting through the surface, making for the edge.

Too slow.

Something clasps your ankle.

A gasp tears right through you, kicking hard, panic surging white-hot through your veins. “No!”

It coils.

Grabs.

Your leg is yanked downward with terrifying force.

The world flips. Water crashes over your head as you’re dragged under, your scream swallowed instantly. You thrash, clawing at nothing, lungs burning whilst bubbles tear from your mouth. Your hands grasp blindly, trying to find purchase, to find anything.

A shape.

A body.

You strike it. Push against it. Kick, struggle, fight with everything in you, nails scraping against something solid, unyielding. 

Then it lets go.

You don’t wait.

You surge upward, breaking through the surface with a ragged gasp, coughing, choking on water as you scramble for the edge. Your hands slap against the stone, slipping once before catching, dragging yourself up just enough to cling to it. Your whole body trembles violently.

Air. You need air. 

You suck it in greedily, chest heaving, water dripping from your lashes as your eyes dart wildly across the pool. “W-what…” you choke out, voice shaking. 

A sound answers you. A low, amused exhale.

Your blood runs cold. Slowly, hesitantly, you turn your head.

He’s here.

The King of Curses.

Sukuna lounges against the inner ledge of the pool as though he’s always been there. One arm is slung lazily over the stone behind him, another resting loosely at his side, droplets sliding down the planes of his skin. And the remaining two are folded under the water.

He’s watching you. 

No, observing you. 

That smirk curls at his lips, sharp and satisfied, eyes glinting with something dark and entertained. “Well,” he drawls, voice echoing low against the stone walls, “your floundering was amusing.”

“W-why,” you begin, gulping air and frantically shoving the wet hair clinging away from your face, “why did you do that?”

A hum floats through the air, carried by the steam. It sweeps your skin. Sukuna says, “Because I could.” Then he barks a laugh. “When I came here to wash the stink of my latest massacre, I did not expect to find a human bathing in my onsen. How brazen of you.”

When he snaps his fingers together, you flinch. 

Uraume appears. 

Their head is downcast. They don’t look at your body, which you suddenly remember is bare and visible through the clear water. You throw your arms over your private parts. 

“Who is this woman and why have you not killed her upon her first step of trespass?” he asks his servant. Sukuna doesn’t sound mad. Only curious. 

“Because she is your bride, my Lord.”

You flinch at the term. 

Sukuna barks a laugh again. “My bride? My bride! How comical that I would forget I have one.” He turns to you, eyes narrowing in with interest. “Why have you only now appeared before me?”

Gulping, you tentatively answer, “I did not think you would want to see me. And I’m sorry I intruded—”

“Wise,” he says, one of his massive arms running through his wet hair. “I am not usually fond of seeing humans; you are all so hideous and constantly quivering in my presence.”

There’s no possible way to reply to that, not without getting your blood spilled for insolence. 

He stands upon the ledge and exits the pool. 

He’s completely naked, as you are. His broad back, the impressive muscles that make it up, the perfectly symmetrical tattoos. He turns. His cocks swings with the movement. You quickly avert your eyes, cheeks warm. 

If Sukuna notices that you noticed, he doesn’t say. Only, “Try not to drown — my pet swims beneath but he has already had his fill. Do not fatten him with your flesh.”

When you hurriedly climb out, squealing, his laughter echoes, filling the space even once his body, and his servant’s, have left. 

You kneel on the smooth ground, panting, soaked and dripping, and thinking one thing:

The Curse King has a sense of humour.

And two giant cocks.

.

.

.