the really important thing is, i'm taller than you

Well, it happened. I managed to trick 500 of you little bastards into thinking I’m not a complete asshole and actually have a modicum of talent. Jokes on you, you fucks. To rub salt in the wound of this betrayal, I’ve decided to suck you in further, to perhaps convince you yet again that I do love you and it was just this one girl this one time baby, promise, by offering you pretty shiny graphic things and other stuff. Pay attention. I’ll not be repeating myself, even if you do threaten to stay overnight at your mothers.

Household chores, because no one likes picking up after other people:

follow me

reblog this. likes don’t count - i’m awkward and shallow and desperate for love. i don’t give a fuck if you like it.

everything’s picked at random, no bitching, no whining, and ab-slut-lutely no shaming if you aren’t a winner. nobody likes a lil’ bitch.

The flowers I bought at the gas station across the street from my work:

the wife (first place): A pretty, pretty 500x200 banner promo of why I like your blog, if I think about you in the showe— wait. No. Sorry. Just if I like your blog. As well as a pack of 15 100x100 icon set of your FC (or a fc of your choice - might need your skype to send it), a drabble (let’s say 1000 words cause, as we’ve already established, but your ass doesn’t seem to comprehend, I am a piece of shit) about whatever you want, and a mystery bonus item that you define. So you can pick your poison huehuehuehuehue. 

the mistress (second place): Two packs of icons of your FC/FC of your choice, and a drabble about your muse, our muses, the chick across the street’s muses - hell, the muses from Hercules, if you fancy it.

the secretary (third place): You get nothing. I just really liked the analogy of cheating on a spouse….. Just kidding. I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that honey, you know as soon as the divorce is through — sorry. If you’re still reading and haven’t just mindlessly reblogged this because stuff, third place gets you a pack of 15 icons of your FC/FC of your choice.

And that’s all you need to know, really. Also, I forgot to add when it ends: So. Let’s say midnight of the 25th, EST. January. Learn to love me better.  

Now I’m marginally less busy.

Now I’m marginally less busy.

This new-found inspiration gave Mike the energy to soldier past most of the work in an hour and a half. Everything was done and put away except one folder, and he thought he could manage to cram it in the morning. They were, after all, going to a bar, and drinking wakes him up at odd hours.

thejessicapearson replied to your post: Evening, Donna.

Well, I wouldn’t say easy. I certainly make it look that way.

thejessicapearson replied to your post: Evening, Donna.

Well, I wouldn’t say easy. I certainly make it look that way.