The Invaluable Experience

Fighting a nasty plantar fasciitis and the typical aches and pains of a professional athlete logging in endless hours on the court and in the gym, I needed 2XU. 2XU not only helped me fight my tendonitis in my foot, but it aided my recovery from everyday strenuous activity. I love the product so much that it has become routine to throw on some sort of compression whenever I can. Whether it is my recovery tights right when I jump out of my shower, recovery leg sleeves midday, or the compression arm sleeves for the beginning of my practice, I am constantly thinking when and where I can apply compression.  

I keep a full set of my compression gear in a pouch that I have and it is the first thing I throw into my suitcase when I packed for my first leg of 2014 tournaments on the road. I am certain that utilizing my recovery gear made a difference in my performance the following day after long matches. Having done this "tennis thing" for so long, I have a relatively accurate idea of what my body should feel like after a certain day's work. In my most recent events, I can honestly say that my body was feeling much better than I expected it to the day after very arduous matches, because I added 2XU to my warm up and recovery regiment. 

My most relevant story though that I want to share is a day when I was scheduled to play two singles matches in a day. (Who does that anymore at the professional level?) At 5'3" 120 lbs, I am considered smaller built in comparison to the majority of my competitors. With my small frame, I myself get anxious when it comes to the physicality of the sport, because there is only so much abuse and pounding my smaller body can withstand. Nervous about how I would cope with the physical task of playing a second singles match (given I win the first one), I brought my compression leg sleeves along to put on right after my first match. I figured (other than God/supernatural powers) that was the only thing that had a chance of helping me get through the potentially rough day. 

The people closest to me could still see the fondness I had chasing that fuzz ball around, and thanks to them, I was encouraged to take things a step further. Jumping on the pro circuit was one of the scariest endeavors I had ever embarked on, but by putting myself in the most uncomfortable position imaginable, I gave myself the opportunity to find out a lot about who I am. Along with a successful tennis fall performance (by my standards), I would deem the event of meeting Rick Limpert as one of the highlights of my year. When I was approached by him to put together the book "The Invaluable Experience," I was incredibly apprehensive and insecure of whether I was worthy of publishing a book and if it would be well received by the tennis community. Debating with myself back and forth, I then realized if I truly felt as strongly about my writing as I have conveyed in my blog, I should have the courage to put myself in that vulnerable position and publish it. I actually told no one (other than my coach and parents) about the book beforehand, because I was afraid I would come across someone that would discourage me from actually following through on something I had set myself out to do. For me personally, being brave enough to compose that book and execute with publication required a sense of conviction that I did not know I was capable of. 

Reflecting on these past 4 months, I have realized there has got to be someone upstairs looking out for me, because it is amazing how things work out. So many events had to occur at the right time for my recent good fortune to have panned out the way it did. Everything I did to lead myself astray from the path of tennis actually brought me back to it. I took two enormous leaps of faith. One regarding my own tennis and the other regarding my thoughts and perspectives of it. Seeing that the book was so well received by my audience (especially my peers) was just as warm a feeling as spectators (no matter how little) applauding me after a long hard fought match. I truly do feel like I have experienced some of the most rewarding things of my life in the past few months. To be honest, I am overwhelmed. I wish I could say I know how blessed I am, but I don't. Looking back at it all, I am even more convinced that pursuing this grind with integrity and thanking those who have boosted me along the way is the only way I can do my luck justice.

Invaluable Experience: In my junior year, I lost the Final Four deciding match against our big rival UCLA in a 3 hour battle at Athens, Georgia. The moment I lost match point, I remember seeing my opponent’s teammates tackle and dance around her in front of my eyes. It was the most miserable feeling in the world. After shaking hands, I sat on my bench, buried my face in my towel, and cried. My body was aching so bad from exhaustion and I was not sure whether I was shaking because I was crying so hard or because I was on the verge of a full body cramp (maybe both). Nevertheless, I could not move from that bench. As UCLA continued to celebrate their win, I sat listening to their cheers and their band play. Later that night, I promised myself that I would never lose a big match again, because I cannot stand the feeling of letting my teammates down.

Fast forward the following year, in my senior season, I had grown especially close to my teammates. Having had a taste of success the previous year by upsetting Stanford and making it to the Final Four, we were hungry to go all the way this time. Leading up to the NCAA event, we were no longer underdogs as we were last year, but actual contenders. Teams were vying to take us down, and we knew it. All year long we had established this culture of “winning a team title.” Everything we did was for a team championship. The previous year, we saw our men’s team win a championship for the fourth year in a row, and wanted to have a moment like that to share with each other. Being a team captain and senior on the team, I had watched the men win every single year I was at USC and wanted nothing more than a team title. In the Sweet 16, we were matched up against Stanford. Down 2-3 in the dual match, there were two matches left on court, one of which was mine. I was again stuck in a 3 set marathon and found myself lagging behind in the final set. Down 3-4 in the match, with points togo down 3-5, I dug so deep knowing that I promised to never let my teammates down again. Somehow pulling that match out 7-5 in the third was one of the proudest moments of my life. I thought after winning my match, the magic was going to happen again, but unfortunately, our last match on could not pull through and Stanford ran away with the victory (and the championship for that matter).

I fell from Cloud 9 so fast within 15 minutes. Although I did not lose the deciding match this time around, I knew I just competed in the last dual match of my life. I had not anticipated on making this short a run at the NCAA Team Event and I would have given anything for that day to have been just a nightmare. As I picked up my stuff from my court, I kept wishing I would wake up from this nasty dream, because I was nowhere near ready to say goodbye. All year I had envisioned hoisting that trophy with my teammates and to have ended our journey in this fashion was a complete disaster in my eyes. Later that night, I sat in my hotel room and contemplated on why I set myself up to feel this way. I felt so awful inside and I compared that feeling to being dumped by a long term boyfriend unexpectedly. I kept telling myself that I should not have filled my head with those expectations nor cared so much. Beating myself left and right with my thoughts, I then get a text message from my old coach Dave Hagler saying a few comforting things, but one of which was, “It cannot break your heart if you did not love it.” After thinking about that over and over again for the next few days, I realized that by caring you give yourself a fair chance to do something great.

Invaluable Experience: In my junior year, I made my first appearance with my teammates to the Sweet 16 in the NCAA Team Event. During my first two years of college, my team had struggled and fallen in the Round of 32, so making it to the Sweet 16 was a big deal for me. Having drawn Baylor in our section of the draw, we knew we were in for a rough day, because they had beaten us handily the year before. Pulling out a gut wrenching 4-2 win over them went above and beyond my expectations for that year and I was just ecstatic we lived another day to play. Moving into the Elite Eight, we had Stanford next. Going in, I knew that 8 out of 10 times, Stanford should beat us. Earlier in the year, they gave us a good spanking, so although I was hopeful for an upset, I did not really expect it to happen.

To my surprise though everyone was on top of their game that day. We came out swinging with nothing to lose. At 2-2 in the dual match, we had 3 singles matches left, all in third sets. As I proceeded to start my third set, I look up at the scoreboard, seeing that Sabrina Santamaria, on Court 3, was down 2-5 and that Kaitlyn Christian, on Court 4 was entering her third set but barely walking because of back problems. Slightly flat and running out of juice, I got down in the third against a big hitter and thought for sure this was the end of our run. Things were not looking too good for us. Sabrina was one game away from losing, I felt like my girl was physically punching me in the mid section, and Kaitlyn might need a stretcher when she is done with her match. On the changeover at 3-4, I looked back up at the score board and Sabrina was making a comeback and had evened her match at 5-5.

Giving me hope, I ran over to my side and proceeded to scratch and run down every ball I could get. It was hot, humid, and definitely not California weather. My legs were toast, but I was still out there digging deeper than ever. The adrenaline and anxiety I felt was unreal, so much so that I cannot remember what happened until I got to 5-4my match point. I glanced at the scoreboard and Sabrina is in a tiebreaker with match points herself. Once I closed out my match, I looked over immediately to Sabrina’s court as her opponent’s forehand sails out. Game, set, match USC! Sabrina and I had clinched the dual match by winning within 40 seconds of each other. Holy smokes, we did it! My mind was thinking a million miles an hour. “I cannot believe it! Sabrina you are a stud! How did I pull off that match?! Is this real? If this is a dream, this is a real sick joke.” My hands are sweating typing this out. It gives me the chills thinking about how incredible and impossible that win was. Stanford had dominated us my whole collegiate career and we had finally beaten them. The drama was unreal, and I thought only stuff like that happened in movies.

I want to get you to think of being creative with your own game and opening your horizons to different approaches. Do not take in everything everyone says, but be open to filtering what comes your way. Everyone has their own sense of style, but there is always something you can learn from the people around you. Wins and losses are not the only things that define you. It is your ability to decipher and decide how you can make yourself better in your own way. Just because you may be better than someone at what you do does not mean you cannot learn anything from them. I am willing to bet if you asked the best athletes in the world where they find motivation, you would be surprised as to where they extract inspiration.

Invaluable Experience: Although I love chasing balls left and right on the tennis court, I also enjoy watching certain people play. As a huge fan of the game, I think every player has something awesome to offer, you just need to be able to look closely (sometimes look from a far) and think out of the box to find it. I always liked to stick around and watch my peers play for two reasons. One was to scout their tendencies in case I ever had to play them in the future and two was to see how they make their style of play work. Are their strengths something I can learn from and possibly add to my tennis? Do they do something I can do but I just do not do enough? If you are a visual learner, so many lessons can be offered to you free of charge, just because you areopen to observing. After observing, I have a better understanding when I am on the court back at home with my coaches of what to expect. Learning from and knowing your competition subconsciously sets a bar for you to reach in the departments where you need work.

Everyone has different personalities and characteristics but nevertheless has something that is potentially likable about them. You have your own unique edge. Use it. Maybe you have a great sense of humor, a fantastic attitude, electric energy on the court/field, a million dollar smile, and/or a witty way about you etc. Whatever it is, it is something you can use to give people a reason to cheer for you. You want people to want you to do well. To get behind you when you are struggling. I have yet to meet someone who actually enjoys having a crowd cheer against them. I mean why do you think sport teams prefer to play games “at home.”

Invaluable Experience: Throughout my career, I have always been known as a quiet individual and a small, crafty, quick player. In my college years of playing tennis and now on the professional tour, I have embraced those pieces of identity more and more. In my most recent trip to Texas, I realized that I may not have the physical power to “wow” spectators but I did have something else. My quiet and small profile made me a perfect candidate to be considered “an underdog” in nearly all my matches, because I was smaller than all my opponents. On the other hand my craftiness and quickness was something that I used to catch the attention of spectators. In conjunction with smiling and being on my best behavior on and off the court, my tennis profile gavepeople something to cheer for. I was unranked and a qualifier who made it to the semifinals of a large event. (7 straight days of rough tennis). I actually fully embraced being “The Little Giant” and made a David and Goliath story out of every match. Of course my opponents had their supporters and fans as well, but I was able to maneuver my way into having people root for me even though I knew no one there at the start of the tournament.

My main point here is to encourage you to test the waters and explore what is reasonably out of your comfort zone. Curiosity killed the cat, so it is important to decipher what has significant value exploring and what does not. Yes go discover the unknown, but do not be foolish doing so. Seeing if you can surpass 8 alcoholic beverages tonight because you stopped at 7 last night is considered foolish. On the other hand, volunteering to speak at a meeting on the behalf of your team can be a way you try to branch out. Nobody knows you better than you, so make good choices and also be open to the idea that it is during the times when you are uncomfortable that you find out things about yourself that you did not know before. For instance, I am sure you have had a moment where you were faced with a task (whether it is a game, homework assignment, paper, or set of sprints) that you were not certain you can complete, but in the end “magically” survived! At the end of your struggle you “find out” that you were capable of doing something you did not believe you were in the first place. Often times sports and/or stressful situations reveal character that we did not know was there before, and (in my opinion) that is one of the most beautiful things ever!

The Invaluable Experience: The summer after the end of my collegiate career, I was in a bind on what to do. Do I get a job or do I play professional tennis? Getting a job was the safest thing to do, because it had a guaranteed salary and it was seen as respectable in the eyes of my family members. So not only would I be on my way to saving up for my house by the time I was 30, but I would be pleasing my family members, by showing them that my college education was being put to good use. Professional tennis was the riskier route, but to many people around me, it was the route that made most sense. I still loved playing the game so much and (humbly) I was pretty good at it. My hesitation to go out and try the professional tour stemmed from the fact that the beginning would be very uncomfortable. I was scared of the feeling of solitude. I have always had my teammates and/or parents for companionship during my whole tennis career, and the uncertainty of how the pro circuit would accept me terrified me. Most of all, I was afraid of not being good enough. I nearly settled to have what if’s for when I turned 40, because I was scared of being a disappointment to myself, my family, and my coaches.

Invaluable Experience: I have always been one to take losses very hard and up until now, I struggle to sleep at night after a tough day at the office. My mistakes weigh on my mind for a few days and it keeps my brain thinking nonstop about the poor choices that could have made a difference. Aside from when everything gets quiet at night, I have improved my behavior after a loss everywhere else. I had to learn this in my most recent endeavor to pursue the professional tennis circuit. Embarking on what was supposed to be a three-week trip away from home (on my own). I was quite intimidated on the likelihood that it can be a total disaster. I had no teammates or parents that I can lean on to help me if I was struggling. Being alone scared me, simply because I have not been in a very long time. There was no one to look over to if I was choking a match away and no one to physically be there to tell me it is alright after I lost a heartbreaker. It was me, myself, and I.

Knowing that I can use all the positive energy I can get, I was well aware that I could not afford to chastise myself as I had before. Other than losing, my biggest fear is ruining my relationship with the sport. I had to find it within myself to lower my pride and deal with my bad days more reasonably. My refined perspective became, "What can I do to maximize my feelings of fondness when I look back at this experience many years from now?" Winning is always that one thing you are certain you can feel great of. So its imperative to get your priorities straight and do everything possible to increase your chances to win. Here is the “but” though, you are never winning 24/7. So what about the other moments in the day you have nothing to celebrate or how aboutthose days you prefer to have never happened? It is impossible to scrap them from your memory, so my advice is that you do your best to maximize your good feelings. Search for the little things that can bring the quality of your day up. Sometimes the smallest things can improve your mood. Inches become miles.

Instead of locking myself in my room after a tough loss, I started making an effort to actually be an approachable human being. Before I would have thought that by doing that, I was indicating I did not care too much for winning or losing. In hindsight though, that is completely false. The ability to be reasonably social after a tough loss does not indicate that I did not want to win badly. I knew myself enough to know that I want to win more than anything every single time I was out there. If twisted in the right light, being approachable after a loss is not a sign of cowardice or indifference, but in fact a sign of strength (in my opinion). If you gave a full fledged effort, it shows you are completely comfortable with investing all of what you have into winning, even though there is always a chance you may falter. The characteristic of being able to put your best effort, despite extreme uncertainty is one that will bring you the best of times and something you will need to recover from your worst moments.

Roger Federer has broken multiple records, holds the most weeks at number 1, and at the pinnacle of his career, he was the closest thing to invincibility that tennis has ever seen. Everyone was in awe of his dominance over the ATP tour, but I feel like the world never fully understood or had appreciation for how tough it was/is for him to play with a target behind his back day in and day out. After taking some tough losses and having not recently collected his routine grand slam titles, the whole world is harping on him about retirement. These people are forgetting that the tour really is filled with tremendous competitors and that his efforts to fend off all of them for such a long time were incredible. Now that he has recently been struggling to maintain that sort of dominance, one can see the majority of the world takes for granted how difficult a task it is to not only rise to the top but stay there for as long as he did.

I just recently finished Billie Jean King’s book (yes, I know I am a bit behind), “Pressure is a Privilege.” She speaks about how success comes with great expectations and thatchampions have a responsibility to conduct themselves in a certain manner. To take a slightly different approach than King intended, I want to impress upon you that although rising to the top acquires additional pressure to every individual, pressure really is an honor and a privilege. One can be prideful (but at the same time, not cocky) about their accomplishments, by continuing to search for anything and everything to make their own craft slightly better. In order to handle the pressures of success, individuals need to look at their sport/job/role as a long term project. Theoretically, this project never ends and one can never get too good at it. I realize this overlaps a bit with my upcoming post of “You Are Never Done Growing,” but reinforcement never hurt anyone, and I wanted to make the extra effort to communicate that one needs to learn how to deal with the pressures of succeeding and the pressures to continue to succeed.

Understanding the importance and value of integrity can bring you to discover something powerful within yourself. That power is the willingness to come through in the most difficult situations. Billie Jean King mentions in “Pressure is a Privilege” how she loves the word integrity because it has the word grit in it. In my eyes this play on words was”brilliant beyond brilliant.” By accepting that the hardest and the right things are the same at times, one forms thick skin to any adversities he/she encounters in life. When you can make that tough decision to do what is correct even when the odds are against you, you reveal true strength in your own character. You develop that unwavering and firm attitude that champions have to get the job done correctly. There is nothing quite like the conviction you express when you are standing up for something you believe in.

Invaluable Experience: Richard Gallien, my head coach at USC, was always a man who acted in attempt to do what is correct. He was very adamant about having the girls on the team act with class, not for show, but because it was the right thing to do. Having been immersed in a culture to do the honorable thing, I grew in many subtle ways as a person. Entering my senior year as a team captain, I became as concerned (if not more) with the needs of other people and constantly making sure that thingswere right and fair between me and my teammates. On a mission to be always firm but fair, I felt it was my responsibility to also portray the image of what our coaches thought a respected competitor should be. Ideally, Richard and West wanted their players to be fierce on the court, but a pleasure to be around off. They wanted an individual who had both grit and integrity. On one of the biggest weekends in our conference season, I was sick to my stomach all week due to the combination of bad food, the pressures of school, and the anticipation of the two matches. When the two game days arrived, I could not keep food down and had to take multiple bathroom visits over a 2 minute changeover. Sprinting to the locker room and back (so that I would not receive a time violation) had me off my typical match routine and flustered. I remember playing my matches light headed, dizzy, and dehydrated, but I was determined to go about my business the right way despite the fact that I had every reason to throw in the towel and hide. I kept fighting the good fight not only because my teammates needed these wins, but because it was the right thing to do as a competitor. By sticking it out and pulling out those victories, I showed how integrity taught me how to have grit. That if you really believed in your cause you would find a way and if you did not you would find an excuse.

It’s not personal, it’s business. Learn to recognize that they are striving for the same thing you want, but just happen to be on the opposite end. At some point you may even begin to appreciate their style and approach to the sport. Compete, fight, and enjoy the boxing match. Do not hate the competition, embrace it. Do what you need to do to win, but do it with taste and class. At the end of the day it pays dividends to be liked. It can make all the difference when you are facing your lowest moments and the whole world wants you to succeed, (even your competitors).

Fifteen years into the sport of tennis and I have just begun to realize how magnificent it is that one yellow ball can bring so many different people together. When you compete, you are completely naked. The gloves are off, there is no where to hide, and you put your ego on the line. After the battle scene though, it really is mind blowing to realize how there are so many approaches to a sport. Every competitor has their own unique take on how to play the game. When different people from different parts of the world come together to play one sport, each competitor represents the pride they have in their own identity. It’s a beautiful thing.