I'm obsessed at this point

The world was moving UNBEARABLY slow. I couldn't take it any longer! I was perched on top of the couch, sitting over the back of it, staring intently out the window. The window had a clear view of the drive.

I was aware a couple of the boys were behind me. I had heard their footsteps walking in and out behind me. "Highness, this seems rathe-"

I jumped up, getting a better look out the window where I could see the gates opening and a blue car rolling in. I moved so quickly I waver and loose my balance, falling behind the couch. I hear a collective "Y/N!" from the boys as they rush to move the couch and pull me up.

I grab James and Damien's hands and they pull me over the sofa, their faces flooded with concern. Damien sighed "I know you're excited but you have to be careful or you'll hurt yourself..."

How am I supposed to calm down?! My heart his hammering in my chest! I nodded and smiled before running out into the main hall the boy's following in toe. I can hear the car on the pebbles outside pull to a halt.

Suddenly I feel a creep of nervousness jump into my throat. My hand freezes on the doorknob. I turn to look at the boys hesitantly. Matthew laughs a bit "Well? What are you waiting for?!"

I smile and throw the door open to see F/N standing outside the door. F/N had been one of my best friends for years but since they went to another school and we were busy with end of year tests, we hardly found the time to see each other. Their H/C hair had been styled carefully and their outfit perfectly planned to make it look like zero effort was put into it, when in reality a lot of consideration had. Just like mine.

Their E/C eye's widened just for a moment as they met mine. It only took a moment before they threw their arms around my shoulders and hurling themselves into me, almost knocking me clean off my feet. I wrap my arms around their waist hugging them tightly, trying not to let us fall.

We spin around for a second hugging tightly before they leaned back to look at me. "Wow... Y/N. You look amazing! So different from when I last saw you!" I laugh a little nervously. "Good different, or?" They gently shove my shoulder, grinning ear to ear, laughing a bit. "Of course it's good! What changed? "

They looked behind me and froze. They stared dumbfounded at them while the boys looked mildly petrified. F/N looked back at me again, pulling me in closer and whispering "These are the guys?"

I giggled and nodded eagerly. I turned around to face the boys, wrapping my arm around F/N. "F/N. Meet my roommates and friends. James, Erik, Sam, Matthew and Damien". F/N smirked and nudged my ribs "They aren't exactly all just frie-"

Cutting them off I shout "Hey guys! Come say hi!"

The boys don't hesitate to swarm us asking F/N every question under the sun; some about where they're from, others more about me. James is quick to offer his hand to shake which F/N gladly accepts.

Matthew is rattling off questions quicker than I can think, while Damien is clearly skimming through their head.

The ruckus is a nightmare. I intercept grabbing F/N's hand gently and pulling them away a couple inches. "Give her a little bit of space. Will you?" I laugh a little but F/N is smiling brightly and... blushing a little?

--------

I had forgotten how nice it was to just talk to someone with such simple problems. Don't get me wrong your ex-partner stealing your toothbrush is absolutely scandalous but it doesn't have the same energy as 'a succubus hunted me down, almost killed me multiple times to kidnap my friends'...

Just ever so slightly different...

They took a sip of their drink and look around the room before putting it back on the living room coffee table. The boys went to the other side of the house a while ago to give us some space. "So... when are you planning to tell me about him?" 

I feel my cheeks heat up and I grab my mug a little tighter. "I... uh... what?" I laugh nervously, trying to play it off; and failing miserably. "What on earth are you talking about?"

They rase their eyebrows at me and take another sip of their tea, really taking their time.

...

"You told me a while ago you started seeing someone. If I remember correctly you said he had ginger hair, greyish almost purple ey-"

I stare at them mortified they remembered that. They just laugh, beaming with pride. "What? You thought I'd forget? So... tell me. He's the tall quiet one... isn't he?"

They lean in closer to me, their voice getting quieter as they see it. Mischief seeping through their tone. I put my face in my hands, feeling it almost melt the skin it's so hot. They just laugh. "Well then... I think I'm due my best friend speech! I'll be back."

They stand up quickly dashing out the room. Mortified I know this can't be good. I jump up almost spilling my drink everywhere. I put it down and sprint after them trying to stop them.

I chase them through the halls but they are always just a couple metres ahead of me. They stop every couple of doors trying to look inside but they are REALLY good at doging my attempts to catch them. I reach my hand out trying to grab onto them but I can't get close enough. I feel my chest starting to cave in as my breathing becomes more ragid.

"F/N!" I call out panting.

They just keep running until eventually they come to the door on the bend of the hallway. They stand there speechless and panting, for a minute I think they are about to faint. When I catch up I put a gentle hand on their shoulder, hoping to keep them steady. "F/N?"

I look inside the room and my stomach drops. There. Right there. Is Sam holding up a desk above his head, clearly looking for something underneath it but now... straight at F/N. The sight makes him stumble and he trips backwards the desk falling on top of him.

F/N and I screamed and I ran forward into the room and next to him. He coughed a bit before letting out a strained laugh, looking at me. I grab the biggest book from the shelf next to me and wack it off his arm "YOU DICK!"

He laughs again and I sit back a bit letting out a relieved sigh. I turn to see F/N completely mortified, their hands clapped over their open mouth. They say nothing for a couple seconds. Their face totally blank.

I look at Sam for help but the dickheads sitting with his hands behind his head. He looks like he's going for a fucking nap. A fucking nap.

I look back up at F/N who is staring intently at Sam. "Do... you- uh... need an ambulance?" Sam just shrugs and shakes his head. They pause for a minute before nodding and just turning around and walking back down the hall.

I felt the warmth of Sam’s chest pressed against my back as he held me protectively in my arms. I don’t know what I’d do without him but sometimes I can’t stop my head from drifting. I shimmy out his arms trying not to wake him before tucking the covers in so he doesn’t get cold. I quietly stand up and grab my robe, throwing it over me so I at something on.

I turn around and am taken back by the man in my bed. He is gorgeous. I sit gently on the side of the bed admiring him with a sad smile. I slowly reach out and gently brush his hair out his face. There’s no way this mans a demon. He’s far too perfect for that.

I stand up and quietly unlock the doors to the balcony, stepping outside. I shut the doors and let out a deep sigh. I kinda wished I had a ciggie but I quite years ago and if I have one now, I’ll never get off them again. I walked over to the railing. Looking over the side of the balcony.

I couldn’t sleep. Not now. Bless him, Sam did everything he could to make me feel better. He done everything he could to make me feel myself again but I just couldn’t, not tonight. Not after what happened. It still stung like a fresh stab from a knife. My face burned as I felt my eyes water again. Was this all I would ever be to people?

I jump as I feel a ringing in my pocket and scramble to get it. I eventually empty my pocket my phone falling and landing on the floor. I bend down and pick it up to read “UNKNOWN NUMBER” written in bold letters across the screen. I take a deep breath and answer the phone. “Hello?”

A deep rough voice comes through the other end, shocking me slightly. “Y/N L/N?” I shake my head, trying to shake myself out of it. The voice sounded old, wise almost. This person was older. How old? I didn’t know but much older than me at least. “Who’s this?”

“I am Perry Wor-“

“Wordwood. I know who you are. You worked with Sam a couple months ago on that armed robbery, right?”

Perry laughs on the other end of the phone. It’s a rich, full laugh. One that puts me at ease. “I’m impressed.”

“-How did you get my number?” I feel a smile spread across my lips and myself perk up a bit. “You’re Sam’s emergency contact. Your number is in the system.” Hearing that made my heart melt. He’d never told me that before. I look back inside at him sleeping on my bed and feel my eyes start to water again, but this time, it’s different. “Now. I heard what happened tonight and I was wondering if you would like to go for brunch with me tomorrow? I would like to clear the air.”

“You… actually want to speak to me?”

“Sam spoke the world of you. I believe his word over some stacks of paper.” I felt a hole fill in my chest. I started feeling my tears roll down my cheek. “t-thank you…” I heard him laugh again which made me smile. “Don’t be silly. It’s the least I could do. I’ll send you the details tomorrow morning.” We say goodbye and I hang up.

-------

I pulled the wool of my jumper over my fingers fidgeting with it. I stared at my hands under the table waiting nervously. I’m sure I’m sweating a river. I hear the bell of the door opening and snap my head up. I watch as an older man walks over to me. He has long tousled silver hair. His eyes burn into me as he walks. He’s the kind of cop that always freaked me out.

He gently slides into the chair in front of me. “Y/N! It’s so good to finally meet you!” I half smile and stick my hand out for him to shake. “You too!” He smiles and takes it with a firm grip. “You look just as lovely as Sam said. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Must be a fantastic person to tie that man down.” I chuckle under my breath and we start looking through the menu, making small chat.

An hour passes by in five minutes. We mostly talk about Sam trading stories and I find out Sam is a lot dorkier in Perry’s side of the stories which I find highly entertaining. Eventually Perry pulls his satchel up onto the seat and dumps 7 thick folders on the table.

I raise an eyebrow sceptically. “Ummm?”

Perry leans forward and lowers his voice. It becomes quite hard to understand him, since his voice turns quite gravelly. “Those are two-thousand-word long character assassinations on everyone at the bar last night.” I stare at him, jaw dropped to the floor in shock. He sits back, taking a long drink of his milkshake.

“What?”

“I’m retiring. I decided a few months ago but I’m not leaving the city in the hands of those bitches. Fuck no. I started compiling evidence against them. I’m giving it to you my dear, all I ask is you keep me anonymous.”

I shake myself out of it and nod. “Thank you!”

I stare myself down in the mirror. Running my hands along my side of my waist down my hips smoothing my dress over. I must admit, I’m usually very picky in what I wear but Erik really has nailed my style. I look down as I try to tug on my tights, fixing them to make me look perfect. I jump when I feel arms wrap around my waist. I smile almost instantly when I feel my hair being pushed back and I feel his skin on mine. He hums into my ear.

“You look beautiful Doofus”

I grin widely and stand up, raising my arm to play with his hair as he rests his head in the crook of my neck. I can feel him gently kissing the side of my neck, sending tingles down my spine. “Just trying to look nice for your big night.” I turn around and kiss him gently, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I’m so proud of you Sam.” He’s grinning widely like an idiot.

Sam had gotten a raise at work and so his co-workers had offered to take him out for drinks -bad decision really, he could drink them under the table in minutes- but he asked me to come. I haven’t seen his co-workers since three months ago when Sam held a house party. They ended up saying some pretty nasty things about my past and the whole thing was horrible. Sam promised it wouldn’t happen again but I’m still a little on edge.

My past wasn’t pretty. I was a troubled kid, in and out of juvie all the time, skipped school and done things no teenager should have been. But that only made my parents angrier and the angrier they got, the more I did. I was spiralling further and further, falling lower and lower, sinking deeper and deeper into the water until someone pulled me up to breathe. Showed me a light out, a guardian angel; my grandfather.

He gave me the best gift anybody could have. He brought the boys to me. They helped me. I owned up to everything. I done a couple months of community service and probation and straightened myself out and now my life couldn’t be any better. Now I have the real family I always wanted. Now I have Sam.

Sam kisses my head gently and looks lovingly into my eyes. “Not as proud as I am of you.” I blush and kiss him again before an alarm on my phone goes off. “taxi’s here.”

-------

My hands start to shake in the car as I jitter my leg, watching the passing city lights as we drive past. I feel a hand on my leg and turn to see Sam. “It’ll be alright. You’ll see.” He kisses the top of my head as we the car stops. We get out and pay the driver and head inside.

As soon as Sam steps in the door there’s an array of cheers but when they notice me the noise dies. It stings a bit. I half smile and take Sam’s hand as we walk up. “You all remember my girlfriend? This is Y/N” I smile and wave. Sam pulls a seat at the bar out and offers it to me. I sit down thanking him and he sits next to me.

I can feel their glares and stares burning into me. One of the women scoff as I sit down. I turn to look at her and she’s not even looking at me. “Can’t sit down princess?” I decide to ignore it but I can see Sam glaring daggers at her. “So, you must all be super proud of Sam!” I turn to him and smile. “I know at home we’re all really-“

The guy closest to me puts his beer down on the counter. “How would you know? You haven’t worked a day in your life, legally.” I look down feeling my eyes well with tears. “Shamash.” Sam’s voice is filled with venom as he wraps an arm around me. I look up with tears in my eyes glaring. “Maybe if the system wasn’t so rigged, it would have been easier to get help.”

Sam’s co-workers laugh at that, two of them toasting. “Sweet cheeks, if you’re gonna do it. Get ready to pay the price.” All of them seem to agree with that. I stand up, grabbing my purse “This is a mistake. You’re all just a bunch of Assholes.” I storm out hearing Sam’s footsteps behind me. “Doofus wai-“

“Do you have any idea what that’s like Sam?! To sit there and be mocked for something you try so hard everyday to fix?! To get over. NO! No you don’t! God I never should have come here! I’ll see you at home.”

I couldn’t stop staring at the screen. I couldn’t look away. My hands were gripping the case so hard it physically hurt. Not that I cared. My eyes were drawn to the blue words plastered across the screen.

“Delivered”

But they hadn’t been. I’ve been waiting all morning; all week actually. I practically exploded when I heard the doorbell. I flung my sheets over and my phone to the side, leaping out bed and tripping onto the floor. My bedroom door flung open as Erik rushed into the room. “Princess? Are you alright?!”

He stared at me as I scrambled to my feet. “The door!” I quickly dodge past him and run around the halls to the entrance passing Sam and Damien on the way. I ran down the stairs tripping on the last one but lunging for the door. I catch the handle and open it to see an amazon delivery guy on the porch.

I smile and blow my hair out my face, tucking it behind my ear as I catch my breath. “Hm sorry about that.” I laugh awkwardly gesturing to the house. “Big house.” The delivery guy raises his eyebrows as he stands back a bit. “Miss? I just rung the doorbell ten seconds ago…” I nod my head slightly. “Right…”

My heart skips a beat when he pulls a small parcel out from behind him. “You’re Y/N L/N, right?” I nod enthusiastically, signing his pad as quick as possible, snatching the box and taking it inside.

By this point all the boys had gathered in the lobby to see what was going on. James walked up to me putting a hand on my shoulder. “Miss, are you okay?” I nod, grinning entirely too wide. “It’s here!” I exclaim excitedly.

I rip the parcel open with child-like giddy excitement. My veins flooded with anticipation. I feel my heart melt when I finally see them. A silver pair of cat ears. The ears decorated with ornate silver details. I let out a small squeal as I pull them out the box.

“What are those Doofus?”

I look up to see the boys staring down at me with confused expressions. I giggle holding them out for the boys to see, to excited to speak. “Look!” Matthew’s face lights up, I’m not sure he understands but he looks excited regardless. He walks over to me. “Cool!”

I put them on and instantly fall in love. The boys look at me smiling, clearly seeing how happy they make me. Damien gives me an exaggerated thumbs up, grinning and Sam cheers. I swear I never want to take these off!

-------

I wore them all weekend, only taking them off for bed. Sam laughed when he saw I was wearing them in the bath but told me they looked great. When I say the insane amount of joy these ears have brought me, I mean it. I couldn’t wait to go to school and show them to Naomi and Suzu! I mean I sent them photos of them almost every hour but now they’d see them in person.

I walked into class with my backpack hung over my back, proudly sporting my ears. I walked over and sat at my desk pulling my phone out to text Suzu and Naomi and asking when they’d be here.

That’s when I heard it. The sniggering.

I turned around to see Lisette and her friends. I rolled my eyes. “What?” Lisette’s friend burst out laughing as soon as I spoke. “Jeez! Your voice sounds like a fucking cat’s too! Who would have guessed?!” Lisette’s friends all laugh at that. I lean back a bit in my chair, completely not expecting that.

Another one of Lisette’s friends starts talking. “We’re not in the second grade, you’d think people would grow out of shit like that.” Lisette sniggers under her breath clearly making a VERY poor attempt to stop her friends. “Now! Now! Guys. Come on! Let’s not be mean about this.” She turns to me with the ‘fakest bitch’ look I’ve ever seen. It’s impressive truly.

“Don’t you just… think their a bit um… childish?” I feel absolutely humiliated. Normally I would say something back but I just can’t find the words. I have absolutely no idea what to say. I just dip my head slowly and take them off shoving them in my school bag. I can feel the tears prick the corner of my eyes.

“HEY L/N!” I look up to see Suzu and Naomi walk in and quickly give them a smile. They walk up and sit in their seats. “So where are the ears?! I thought you would have had them on? I wanna see!” Suzu says dramatically, leaning over her chair. Naomi nods in agreement, turning to face my desk. I shrug a bit, trying desperately not to sob. “I didn’t feel like wearing them today.”

-------

When I get home, I’m greeted by Matthew and James in the lobby. “Hey Miss! How was scho- where did your cat ears go?” My shoulders slump as I try to shrug it off but burst into tears instead. Matthew immediately wraps me up in a hug and I sob into his shoulder. James walks up quickly and the commotion grabs Erik’s attention as well. I look up into Matthew’s worried face. “D-Did you think I looked stupid?”

Matthew shook his head firmly. “No, you looked really cute.” Erik and James join the hug and I feel so glad to have them there. I sniffle a bit trying to get my words out. “Lisette and her friends… were saying stuff.” James rests his cheek on the back of my head. “With all do respect Miss, those girls have no idea what they were talking about. They looked fantastic on you.”

I wipe my tears as the boys step back a bit. Erik reaches into my bag and grabs my ears. He lifts them up and put them on me. “See? Now you’re a real princess.” I sniffle and smile a bit, hugging him gently. “Thank you…”

I shut the door behind me, quietly locking it. I sighed and felt my shoulders slump, letting my purse drop to the floor and the small thud of it hitting the tiles at my feet. I shrugged my coat off my shoulders before hanging it in the cupboard. I jump ten feet when I hear a voice.

“You’re home. How did it go?”

I look up the stairs to see Damien, peering down at me over the balcony. I groaned as I stepped to the bottom of the staircase waiting for him to come down. “Can I never leave the house again?” Damien laughs and makes his way down the stairs to meet me at the bottom, taking my hand and gently pulling me close to him. I wrap my arms around his waist sighing. Damien kisses the top of my head gently. “That bad, huh?”

I nod and he silently smiles. I feel him jolt as he gets an idea. “My brothers all retired for the night.” He steps back from me and his face is light up like the stars in the sky. He slowly starts moving his feet confusing me. What is he doing?!

My face turns bright red when he starts singing quietly so only, I can hear. He’s dancing and singing for me.

“'Cause all of me loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections”

I smile weakly, looking up at him as my face burns and I start to dance with him. His voice is beautiful and I feel my heart soften. The terrible events of the day forgotten as I glide across the floor, melting into jelly at the touch of his hands on my back.

“Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you

You're my end and my beginnin'

Even when I lose, I'm winnin'”

I smile as Damien holds his arm up and twirls me around gently, making sure to stop before I get too dizzy. I enjoy the feeling of his hands holding mine, and his body pressed flushed against mine every couple of moments when we meet in the middle as we dance.

“'Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you, oh-oh”

Damien with a firm grip on my back, dips me. I look deep into his beautiful violet eyes. They could sweep me up off my feet, memorise me, every time I look into them. Finally, Damien pulls me back up, kissing the side of my neck gently, murmuring “do you want snuggles tonight.”

My brains too fuzzy to think but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realise I couldn’t wish for anything better. I smile and lift my hand to gently rub my thumb over his cheek. “I’d love that…”

-------

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing furiously on my bedside table. I wipe my eyes as I adjust to the beams of sunlight through my window. I look over at the side of my bed. It’s cold and empty… guess he got up earlier. I unlock my phone and then see my father’s face staring back at me. He’s calling me!

I wake up immediately, sitting up straight. I answer the phone, clearing my phone. “Hello?” I hear my father’s angry voice shouting over the phone. “What the hell is this Y/N?! I’ve just got the news you’ve been walking around with some guy? All around town! The papers jumped right on it! I’ve just had to pay them off”

“Father, look it’s complicated. He’s not-“

“THIS IS REDICULOUS! I DID NOT RAISE A-“

I hear my mum’s muffled shouting over the phone before the line goes dead. I feel the tears well up in my eyes. I quickly click out the app and open messages. I text the one person who I know will make it better.

Y/N – Baby, are you at work?

There are a couple tense moments where I feel my chest tighten as I wait for his response.

Damien – Yeah, everything alright?

Y/N – No… I-I need you

Damien – I’ll start trying to get home

I start worrying as my stomach drops. I feel my tears drop down my face and through my choked out sobs I quietly mutter “I-Izroul.” I shield my eyes as a bright light shines through the room. When I open them, my tears have dried and stained my face. It takes Damien a moment before he looks at me, his face falls as soon as he sees me.

I smiled as I snuggled into my new fluffy blanket, relishing in its warmth. I had been so stressed out about school lately, I’d barely had a moment to think. Matthew created this blanket for me while I was at school so now, I get to snuggle up in the library and read my favourite book for the billionth time.

When I mentioned that I was going to go read in the library I had hoped that someone would join me… but he didn’t seem interested. Usually, James and I could spend hours in the library by the fire talking about our favourite books or my favourite TV shows, that’s what made me fall head over heels for him. The way he said my name, like sweet honey dripping off his lips, could make me buckle at the knees. His laugh echoing throughout the room filling it beautifully, but recently, it’s as if he’s put off by the thought of spending time with me.

I understand that I might not be the best to be around when I’m stressed but I guess he must be quite stressed too, with the company and all. With all my feelings aside, I miss spending time with him.

I sigh as I flick through the chapters of my book trying to find my favourite one. Today it doesn’t seem to be bringing the usual joy. I eventually find the page and start reading but it doesn’t take long for me to put the book back on the shelf.

I guess just not today…

My attention is quickly drawn to the hall as I see the blurs of Matthew running away from Sam. I giggle as I start to run after them, sliding around corners in my socks to catch up. I eventually catch Sam and lunge for him, jumping onto his back. All three of us laugh as I gently hit Sam on the back.

We snap out of it though as soon as we hear a very annoyed “Ahem.”

I look up to see James standing with a spilt coffee all over his grey jumper. I hear Sam snicker and look to see Matthew trying to hide his smile. I walk over to James and try to take his cup but he yanks it away from me, just spilling more tea onto the floor and himself. “You three should watch where you’re going.” His voice was stern and powerful.

I was used to him telling Matthew and Sam off but he had NEVER spoke to me like that. “Em, what?” James looks down at me with disgust in his eyes. The look shoots right through me making my stomach drop to the floor. That one look made me feel worse than anything anyone’s ever said to me, well maybe besides my father.

“I expected better from you.”

I cross my arms and snort back. “Yeah, well this is my house. I’ll do what I want asshole.”

James looks at me for a second studying my face. I don’t think he was expecting me to say anything back, least of all that. “Your behaving like a little girl. Y/N. What would your grandfather say if he could see you right now?”

I felt blood rush to my face as I took a step back lowering my face to the floor. The venom dripping from his voices cut through me like a knife. The name he used to say so sweetly, now used against me. I felt utterly humiliated. I look to the side to see Sam and Matthew’s faces. Their twisted in anger or mortification… to be honest it could be either. Sam’s fists were balled up. “That’s too far James.”

In that moment something in James’s eyes snapped. His face fell as the realisation sunk in of what he had just said. I felt my eyes start to well with tears and my vision become blurry. I furiously wiped my tears with my sleeve.

“Y/N I-“

“Get away from me!” I lashed out screaming. James tried to step forward to say something but before the words could come out, I cut him off. “Don’t talk to me you bastard!” I quickly turned on my heal, running out of the room as more and more tears fell from my eyes.

I ran to my bedroom and slammed the door shut, sliding down it I sob harder and harder into my hands. What did I do to him?! I hear loud knocking on the door as someone tries the knob. “Your highness? Can I come in?”

There’s no point in punishing Erik… He didn’t do anything wrong. I stand up and open the door, standing back into the middle of my room. Erik comes in quietly and locks the door. When he sees me his face melts. “Highness...”

He sweeps me up into a bear hug, wrapping me tightly in his arms as I sob into his chest. Erik sighs leaning his head on top of mine. “Highness… if your grandfather saw you now… he’d be proud beyond compare! Think of all the things you’ve accomplished!” I sniffle and look up at Erik.

“It’s not even that that bothers me… he knows that stings and he said it anyway… why would he say that though?”

Erik smiles weakly. “Because as smart as my brother likes to think he is. He really isn’t, especially not when it comes to- …”

I look up at Erik puzzled waiting for him to finish his sentence but he never does. “When it comes to?” Erik goes a slight shade of pink probably realising he’s said too much. “You… Highness” I pull back from Erik slightly moving over to sit on my bed. “Me?”

Erik nods as he makes his way over to my nightstand. He picks up a small framed photo of all the boys, Diana, Saero and I at the beach. We’re all laughing and having fun. It’s definitely one of my favourites! And not just because James has his arm around me. “When it comes to you Highness… although it may not seem like it right now… James cares a great deal about you. More than I’ve seen him care about anyone who isn’t one of us…”

“Then why would he-“

“He’s confused. He’s not good at this sort of stuff. I know it’s horrible but just let him work himself out.” Erik sits beside me gently pressing the frame into my hands. I gently run my fingers over James’s face. I nod slowly and Erik leans in to hug me.

-------

By the time seven o’clock rolls around, Sam, Damien and Matthew have all asked me to come down and join them for dinner. Each time I declined though. I have decided to plunge myself back into school work, working on a 5,000-word scripted essay due for next month.

I sit with my headphones on, listening to the new album I bought. I was about half way through it when I felt a gently tap on my shoulder. I turned around taking my headphones off and jumped in surprise to see James.

His face was torn in guilt. His eyebrows were glued together and his eyes were filled with sadness. His hair was slightly messy and ruffled, a really odd thing for the perfectionist. The sight of him almost made me forget all the anger and sadness. Almost.

“What are you doing in here?”

“I knocked but you didn’t answer…”

“Ever think that was because I didn’t want to talk to you?”

It was a lie of course. I had been hoping all afternoon that he would come upstairs so we could get over this. I had been looking over my shoulder every few minutes hoping to see him standing there however, he seemed to have believed me. He sighs and runs his hands through his messy hair. “I… deserved that…”

He walks over to the side of my desk, perching himself on it. “I’m sorry Y/N… I really am… I just got so… angry…”

“but why?” I stood up from my chair looking at his face, hoping for any sign, any hint of an answer. His gaze dropped from my face to the ground at my feet. “Y/N please come down stairs and eat… you shouldn’t have to-“

“Don’t tell me what to do James.” I warn him. Not viciously but with enough warning in there that he knew I was serious. He nods, still refusing to make eye contact with me. This was too strange. I had to know.

“James tell me why you were angry.”

My voice sounded more like a plea than I would have wish but it finally got James to lift his eyes, if only for a moment. “I… if I say- you must promise to eat.” I nod to him sitting on my bed, getting comfortable and preparing for whatever he is about to say. “I was jealous… you were spending time with Sam and Matthew…” I look at him, dumbfounded in shock. He was jealous of Matthew and Sam? I couldn’t help but let out a shocked simple laugh. James looked at me, his face still covered in guilt.

“But you’ve been avoiding-“

And it suddenly clicked. It was a clear as day to me. I could hear Erik’s words ringing in my ears.

James cares a great deal about you, He’s not good at this sort of stuff. 

and now he’s jealous of Sam and Matthew.

Suddenly I became determined. I had to make him say it. Out loud. “And why were you jealous?” He says nothing. He doesn’t move. He’s silent. I look up at him, I can feel my face burning and my fists ball up as I stand on my knees.

“Why?”

“…”

“Say it!”

“I’m in love with you Y/N…”

I sit back down, in stunned silence. He actually said it. I stare at him saying nothing, almost in a hazy daze. He stares back at me, looking almost terrified. “Y/N say something… please…”

“Why?” It’s nothing more than a whisper but it’s all I can manage. I feel tears start to form in my eyes. “Why ignore me? Why say what you did? Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

James shakes his head looking to the ground. “Because I love you and it scares me… Y/N I don’t know what to do. I’ve never felt like this before…”

“Well, me neither.” The tears start to overflow as a couple spill out my cheeks. James looks at me shocked. He walks over to me and kneels in front of my bed to be at my level. He gently lifts his hand to wipe a couple of stray tears. “What did you just-“

I cut him off by grabbing his shirt and pulling him in for a kiss. The kiss is needy and passionate and he responds almost immediately. My hands wonder to his chest as his hands roam up my body and tangle themselves into my hair. I pull him closer to me and toss him onto the bed, climbing on top of him. “I love you too… I don’t know what I’d do without you… please don’t shut me out.”

James shakes his head as he cups my face with his hands. “Not anymore love…” He kisses me again except this time it’s softer, more tender. I lean into it, wanting to be as close to James as possible. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to me. After a while we pull apart to catch our breath and James’s half-smile makes my heart skip a beat. He’s utterly gorgeous.

“Will you join me for dinner now, Y/N?

I opened the doors and smiled at the feeling of the cold air on my face. It made my cheeks tingle as they slowly went numb, but I didn’t mind. Not one bit. It was freeing. I let a smile spread across my face as I looked up at the dazzling night sky. I shut the balcony doors behind me, drowning out the noise of Erik’s piano playing and the noise of the party. Now that I lived in the mansion, James would regularly hold work parties here since it was sort of the perfect venue. He always asked first and I always said yes. It’s as much his home as it is mines and all the rest of the boys but I guess on some level it bothered me. I was never one for parties; and especially not tonight.

I walked over to the balcony’s marble balustrade, laughing gently to myself at grandad’s flare for design. I lean my hands on the balustrade, looking over the edge and the beautiful garden bellow. From here I could see Sam’s small chi garden I insist we built him so he’d have somewhere to go. I watched the little fountains spurt water up and it calmed my nerves. I looked to the right and I could see James’s flower beds, lit by the moonlight. The garden was gorgeous but even it wasn’t enough to fully distract me…

I let out a long sigh looking up at the moon.

I smiled as I thought of him. His smile. His laugh. The way he looked at me. I could feel my face flush but I didn’t care, out here it was just me and the moon. I could almost feel his arms around me. The warm embrace of him as we danced around in the moonlight. Away from the party. Away from the people. Just us two… nothing else would matter.

I hear the sounds of quiet footsteps behind me and the clicking of the door shutting. I smile as I close my eyes, relishing the moonlight on my face. “Those were some nice thoughts there…”

“You could have really scared me their Damien.”

I feel a gust of air brush against my side as he stands next to me. I opened my eyes to look at him. His brow is furrowed but his lips are turned into a small smile. We don’t say anything to each other. We just turn and look out at the world from our balcony. Moments of silence pass before I sigh and break it.

“I think I love him…”

Damien stays quiet and I can see his hair being gently tussled by the wind. I lean my head on his shoulder before burying my face into his suit jacket. “Ok… I’m pretty sure I love him…” Damien doesn’t think too long before wrapping his arms around me. “I know you do… I hear you whenever you’re around him. He makes you happy” I smile as I look up at him. “That’s an understatement.”

“What are you going to do about it?”

I shrug stepping back as I start picking at the skin near my fingernails. “I-I don’t know…” Damien offers me a weak smile. “You know… your not as alone as you think…” I scrunch my face up in surprise as a look Damien a confused look. He smiles gently at me as he pats my shoulder before making his way inside.

I look back up at the moon.

The kitchen was bustling as Matthew and James hurry to cook snacks for our New Years party! I couldn’t be more excited! I was sitting on top of the island counter -out of the boys’ ways- watching them dash around. I learnt pretty early on living with the boys not to try help them cook, I just get in the way.

Matthew had already made some nachos, some sandwiches and a couple of handmade pizzas and was now cooking some pigs and blankets. James had made some fondue, popcorn, crisps and about every other snack under the sun and was now trying to ice the most delicious cupcakes I’ve ever seen.

“Matthew where did you- the spoon?”

Matthew stuttered as he tried to think. Out of the corner of my eye I spot the spoon. I grab it excitedly. “James! It’s over here!” When James turned to face me, he looked relieved, shooting me a half smile he walks over and takes the spoon. I giggle as I wipe a spot of yellow icing off of James nose. He laughs gently, looking into my eyes and smiling before I look away feeling a deep blush spread over my cheeks.

It was no secret to everyone but James I, that I’ve had a HUGE crush on him ever since the boys started living with me. There was just something about him I couldn't get out my head. He was tall, sophisticated and extremely smart; and in any case, I'm not alone. Apparently loads of women all over the world agree since he was voted the 10th sexiest man.

I'm brought out my chain of thought by Sam stumbling into the kitchen. “WhEreS The ReST oF tHe BeEr?” I watched as he stumbled his way to my side, clutching at the counter. I laughed a little “I thought alcohol doesn't effect demons" I smile at him when he gives me the biggest goofy grin I've ever seen. I lift a hand and ruffle his hair, which spooks him enough to send him crashing to the floor, straight on his ass. “It does when you drink a lot of it” I jump of the counter and start trying to pick Sam up, failing miserably, the lug weighs a metric ton!

James walks around the counter and helps lift Sam up by his arm while I get the other one. James speaks in a much more serious tone while holding his brother up, almost solely on his own. “Yeah. A LOT of alcohol, how much did you have?” We carry him through to the dining room and sit Sam down on a chair at the table. Matthew runs after us with a cup of water.

“All of it...”

“ALL OF IT?!”

James steps back losing his cool and trying to recollect himself. He rubs the side of his temples and pushes his glasses up. “Sam. That was enough to do all of us till the end of January" Matthew looks worried as he turns to James. “Well, we'll need to go get more.”

I stand up and walk to the doorway. “I'll go it's a quick trip to the shop anyways" James shakes his head, walking to the coat rack. “You’re not old enough to buy it. I'll go" I grab my jacket and throw it around my shoulders. “At least let me come then? I could use the walk.”

James turned around to look at me. His eyebrow furrowed slightly but his face quickly softened. “Yeah, come on then Miss”

----

The outside was air was freezing. We hadn’t had a white Christmas this year but the grass was covered in frost. It crunched under our every step. There were spots of ice on the path making me wish I had worn winter shoes, anything that isn’t the slippery pair of trainers I have on now. I gripped the inside of my jacket pockets trying to warm up as I shiver in the icy-cold air, watching my breath freeze in the air.

“Miss?”

I turn slightly to look up at James who’s face is plastered in concern; his eyebrows furrowed and his whiskey-coloured eyes were glazed with worry. I shake my head, and pull my scarf down and away from my mouth. “I’m f-fine. Just cold”

Before I can think I hear James nervously ask “Well if it’s not too forward… I could warm you up Miss?” I stop walking in surprise and James stops just a couple paces ahead of me. He pulls his hand up and rubs the back of his neck and I can see a faint tint of red across his cheeks. He almost looks flustered. I smile and jog up to his side thanking him. He gently puts an arm around my waist to pull me closer to him and I put my arm inside his jacket clinging to his natural body heat and at the same time feeling the toned muscles of his back through his shirt.

Damn James is hot.

----

It doesn’t take us long to get the beer and carry it back to the house. By the time we get back there’s only 15 minutes ‘till the new year. Sam seemed to have sobered up. A bit. Matthew had finished James’s cupcakes and set all the food out in the living room. We had all decided to play a classic game of truth or dare. I had played it with Matthew, Damien and Sam before and the boys had already taken the liberty to explain the rules to Erik and James.

“AlrIgHt wHo GoEs firSt?”

Sam was sitting on the floor COMPLETELY shitfaced. Erik piped up a hint of mischief in his voice. “Alright Sam, truth or dare” Sam waves his hand. “Dare. I ain’t chicken” Erik sniggers whispering under his breath “we’ll see about that. Do a cartwheel” I sit eagerly in anticipation for this monstrosity. Sam stumbled he way to his feet, downing his cup of water shouting “I’m not chicken!” Before leaning to the side and falling over. There’s a silence before we hear a muttered

“I did it!”

 Damion face palms while Matthew and I throw our hands in the air clapping and cheering. James and Erik just laugh. When I turn away from Sam, I make eye contact with James. I smile slightly at him before I’m interrupted.

“Y/N’s TuRn! Y/N kIsS JaMEs!”

I blush furiously as I feel my face burn. I turn around mortified to see Sam perched on the seat behind me with a stupid smug smile. All the boys are speechless as they stare at him, jaws dropped to the floor.

I look at James who’s face is redder than I’ve ever seen and I can’t tell wither it’s in anger or embarrassment. Sam turns to look at Erik and just mouths ‘I’m helping’

“Sam! How dare you put Y/N in a position like-“

“I’ll do it.”

Everyone turns to face me surprised. I hear Sam cheer before there’s a thud and he falls behind the sofa. “I-It’s a new year’s tradition anyways so it’s no big deal.” I rub my hands together as they get sweatier and sweatier and I try to hide them in my lap. Erik stands up grabbing his glass and taking a sip before saying “alright then. We’ll give you two some privacy” Matthew gets up jumping over his couch and on his way out, when he passed me, he leaned down and whispered in my ear “You’ve got this.” Before leaving.

It takes a while for Damien and Erik to get Sam out of the room. They have to pick him up and practically drag him out.

“Let’s go Sam.”

“NooOOooOoo I wanna watch!”

But eventually they do.

And then it’s James and I.

I check my phone. 23:57. I look up to see James, a blushing mess and a looking quite worried. “You know we don’t have to-“ I feel a sudden surge of confidence flow through my veins, maybe it was excitement? Maybe adrenaline? Maybe the fear I’d built up over months of being too scared to do this? What ever the reason I do something I’m sure I’ll regret later.

I walk forwards towards James standing a couple feet Infront of him. “I already said I wanted to do this. James do YOU want to kiss me tonight?” I bite my lip starting to feel a bit of that confidence shake worrying that he didn’t and he didn’t see me like that. I watch as James gulps looking me up and down for a second before nodding silently. That was all I needed.

“Then come and do it.”

That was enough for James to snap out of being all mannered as he took quick long strides to me. He gently cupped my face with his hands before leaning in and kissing me. The kiss was passionate and needy but filled with love. I moved my hands up to his hair grasping at it trying to pull him closer to me as I feel his hands start to move from my face, down to my back as he pulls me closer and closer as if he can’t get enough of me. I feel his tongue press against my lips asking for permission which I gladly give.

The kiss is everything I dreamed it would be and everything I could have hoped for. Eventually we pull apart when we hear the bangs of fireworks outside and the cheers of the brothers in the other room.

I come off my tip toes and rest my head on his chest, smiling. I feel him softly place his head on top of mines. I can’t help but smile like an idiot when I feel my raw lips. I hear James muffledly say through my hair “Happy New Year Y/N…”

I smile, hugging him tighter.

There was a long pause as the tension in me grew. The soft glow of the phone screen lighting up my darked-out room, even on its lowest brightness setting it’s too bright. The ringing of the phone seemed to go on forever. I sat and stared at it, squinting, as it rang wondering wither I should just give up and hang up.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

“Hello?”

I jumped slightly not actually expecting her to pick up at this point. I dropped my phone off my bed and scrambled quickly to pick it up, sitting up unnaturally straight, the quickness of it all making my head pulse. “Em hi…” There’s a shuffling on her side of the phone. “Oh, sorry didn’t mean to bother you if you’re busy.” I bite my lip gently, mentally kicking myself for calling her.

My girlfriend Diana, had been working for the last couple of days down in the abyssal planes, usually she tries not to go, getting Sergeant or Saero to deal with the problem but this one seemed pretty important. Something to do with the human new year’s about to mess with something the abyssal planes. Diana doesn’t talk too much about demon politics and I don’t press her on it, usually. She is supposed to be coming back on Friday, two days from now but no matter how I try to rationalise with myself, it still seems like an eternity away.

“No no no- I- I’m not busy.” I hear the hushed angry voices of her threatening them out the room while I cringe slightly knowing she probably is busy. “Whats wrong N/N?”

I gulp now. “Well I-“

“Why aren’t you out? Today isn’t a human holiday is it?”

I try to get my answer out, failing miserably as I stumble all over my words. “I- I um… I took a s-sick day?”

There is a long pause over the phone as she seems to process what I said. It takes a couple seconds before she says quite flatly “you’re sick?”

I pull the sleeves of my jumper over my hands, bundling it up slightly. “Yeah, I mean it’s-“

I’m cut off by a blinding light appearing from the middle of my room, as I wince, I watch a glowing purple pentagram appear in the middle of the floor and Diana rise from it. She stands for a second facing away from me breathing in the air before she turns to me rushing to my side. “Are you alright?!”

I laugh slightly cupping her face with my hands and pulling her into a tight hug. “I’m fine, you don’t need to worry.” She freezes for a second before wrapping her arms around me and hugging me back. I smile widely leaning into her ear. “I missed you.” I pull back and try to make out her face. I meet her beautiful red eyes and I feel my palms get sweaty as I feel uneasy.

She looks around my pitch-black room before looking back at me. “Why is it so dark in here?” I flop back on my bed and onto my pillows. “I have a migraine… and an uneasy stomach, haven’t been able to keep food down…”

I feel the bed next to me shift as she lays down, wrapping her arm around my waist pulling me closer. Her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pierced into a thin line. She looks almost… guilty. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

I grin wildly as I lean in and give her a short peck. “Just you being here is enough.” When I pull back, her face still looks worried. “This isn’t your fault you know” I gently lean my head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat and feeling her chest slowly rising and falling. I feel her arms wrap around me even tighter. “I should have been here”

“You’re here now.”

I feel safe and at ease snuggled up, practically on top off Diana although she doesn’t seem to mind. Feeling her warmth and her soft arms resting on me. She smiles weakly at me, looking away embarrassed “I’m not sure what to do for a sick human…” I look up at her adjusting my head on her chest. “What do you do for a sick demon?”

She shrugs slightly, taking in a deep breath as she tucks a stand of hair behind my ear. “I mean we don’t… we don’t really get I’ll but if we do… I mean magic.” I nod as I snuggle deeper into her. Silence fills the room as we sit still for a moment before I clear my throat. “Depending on what the human is sick with… medicine or giving them hot soup helps.”

Diana nodded thoughtful before asking “Have you had medicine?” I think back to this morning, which since I was shattered, is a bit hazy. “Yeah, I had some aspirin…” She purrs in response to that as I feel her fingers lightly start to tap my waist. “And soup?” I shake my head letting out a breath I didn’t even know I had been keeping in. “No… I really couldn’t be arsed making any.”

She smiles as she gently pushes me off her standing up. “Then that’s what I’ll do!” I groan as I lean back on the much colder mattress. “NooOOooOooo…” She cups the side of my face with her hands making my face burn bright red as she plants a kiss on my forehead. “Baby, I want to help you… so I’m going to go make you that soup…” I look into her eyes which are filled with a mix of worriedness of sadness.

Guess she must feel pretty helpless when it comes to human health. I start to get the feeling it’s more for her own sanity than mine. “Ok fine…”

She smiles widely as I grab a pillow and hug it tightly, pouting. She walks to the door and out into the hall. “Can it be F/S?” I don’t have the energy to shout so it comes out as more as a loud talking.

It doesn’t take long after she’s gone for the gears to start turning in my head. If she’s gonna do something nice, then I can try too!

------

Diana’s back in a shockingly quick ten minutes which surprises me, but then again cooking succubus magic? I clear my throat, but it still comes out as a grimy “Come in.”

When Diana walks in she’s watching the bowls of soup trying not to spill them. She walks in slowly, then tries to shut the door behind her. The level of concentration trying not to spill the bowls was causing her to pull one of the cutest faces I’d ever seen. I smile to myself as she turns round finally looking up at me. So, surprised she almost drops the bowls. I had set up a couple of scented candles I’d bought since all the shops had been having their huge sales on trying to get rid of Christmas stock. I’d taken out the warm apple and cinnamon scented candles and let them on a turned over box which I’d thrown a blanket on to make a little table. I had thrown my hair into a messy bun and stuck it on the top of my head.

Diana was speechless before she coughed and looked down at her feet a bright red blush covering her cheeks. “Em I hope you don’t mind I made myself a bowl?” I nod laughing a bit as I wipe my nose. “I’m surprised you’d even want to eat around me.”

She looks up at me as she walks over sitting down across from me and setting the bowls of soup on the table. “You kidding? I love eating with you Y/N”

The bowl of soup smelled amazing. I couldn’t wait. I quickly grabbed a soon and dug in. The soup was astoundingly good! I couldn’t get enough of it. I looked up to see she was sitting eagerly, biting her lip. “Well? Is it good enough?”

I beam brightly. “It’s fantastic. Thank you”