Always a Lady

In one of my discussion groups today,  the topic of drop was being explored. Sub drop,  Dom drop… having virtually no experience in this area,  this is what I posted:

“As far as I know,  I’ve never experienced sub drop.  However, there have been a couple of times when I have inexplicably become overly emotional.   I have not noticed it connected specifically in any way to a scene (even days later), so I just assumed it was hormone-related.

My only real experience with drop was the day after I joined a task  group, my first week in this life. Another sub in the task group went into drop.  I was the only one around, and the person she was talking to. I didn’t even know what drop was at the time!  She had to explain drop… I immediately googled it and started making suggestions… hot tea or comforting drink,  warm cozy blanket, socks, etc.

Eventually,  her Dom called her back and took over.  Phew!“

But it got me thinking about those emotional times… when had they occurred exactly? One was recent and I was pretty sure it was just a matter of having been overwhelmed by life’s circumstances. But that first one?

The more I thought about it,  the more I wondered. So I did what any self-respecting submissive would do…I talked to my Master about it.  We both agreed the recent instance was likely a result of being overwhelmed by the gaggle of things going on. But the more we talked about that first time,  the more we both began to conclude it may have, in fact, been drop.

Everyone experiences drop differently,  I’m told. And the effects can be quite delayed,  especially after particularly intense scenes. Due to scheduling issues,  it’s not unusual for my Master and I to have a week of intense scenes and then a long break from play in between,  falling back on our purely D/s relationship. While I’m a fairly even-keel person, I have had some medical issues in the last year and a half that have thrown my hormones out of whack at times.  So writing it off to hormones wasn’t unreasonable.

And at the time,  I’m not sure I was even aware drop could occur so far removed from the causal event.   I’m still not even positive it was drop, nor will I ever be at this point.

What I am certain of is that we will both be more aware of the possibility and on the lookout, that I will keep Him completely informed of my mental and emotional state for days following our times together.  And I know without a doubt that He will be watching me closer than ever. Why? Because I am His. And He takes excellent care of His property.

So whether I drop or I’m simply having a bad day,  my recourse is the same. Tell Master. I know He will handle me, and I can trust Him.  

Just as I always have.

I’m okay

I love you

Thank you

It’s alright

I’m not hurt

I’m not hurt too badly

You’re lovely/wonderful/kind

I enjoyed it

It was worth it

Take your time

Do you need anything?

Do you want a cuddle?

Do you want me to get dressed/take the collar off/put the crop away?

Do you want to talk about it?

I’m here

You’re not a bad person

Top drop/dom drop usually comes from shock, guilt or insecurity about the way you have just treated someone whose well-being you care about very much. Like sub drop, it is usually accompanied by a fall in endorphins and general energy levels. Especially for aces (who I find have a greater need to be in the right mindset/’zone’ for play and intimacy), a ‘snap’ moment where you break out of play mode can throw you emotionally, and the end of play causes a similar reassessment or double-take at what happened during the scene.

Doms do and say a lot of shit sometimes, most of the time it is not an accurate reflection of who we are or at least it is not ALL we are.

I need to know you are ok but I also need to feel like a person after everything is over, so let me hug you and kiss you and give you head pats to show you I care, that I love you.

That I am human.

And you care about me too.

I remember someone in here saying something along the lines of “ I’m not a kink dispensary” and I didn’t completely understand back then, but now I sadly do.