Hiii!!! I would like feedback on this short horror story I wrote.
Story One - The open door
“I'm being chased! Help me! Please!”
A girl’s voice echoed through the darkness, filled with a fear I could feel in my bones. I tried to run toward her, but my feet wouldn’t move. The hallway stretched endlessly in front of me, the walls shifting and breathing like they were alive.
“Wait!” I screamed.
The girl turned around.
I could never see her face.
Only her blood-covered clothes.
Only her terrified eyes.
Only the way she reached toward me like she knew I was the only person who could save her.
Then came the sound.
A door creaking open.
Slowly.
Painfully slowly.
Behind her.
Something was coming.
“Don’t let it find me!”
I reached out.
But she disappeared.
**BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.**
I shot awake.
My room was dark except for the pale light coming through my curtains. My heart slammed against my chest as I stared at my bedroom door.
It was open.
I froze.
It was always open after those dreams.
I knew I closed it every night.
I always did.
For a few seconds, I just stared at the empty doorway, waiting for something to appear.
Nothing did.
I forced myself to look away.
“It was just a dream,” I whispered.
But I didn't believe myself.
---
My name is Mavis Hawk, and everyone thinks I’m crazy.
I guess I understand why.
It’s hard to believe someone when they say they hear voices no one else can hear. It’s even harder when they insist they had a sister that nobody remembers.
But I know I had one.
I know I did.
The problem is…
I can’t remember her.
Not completely.
Just pieces.
A laugh.
A hand holding mine.
A voice telling me everything would be okay.
And a door.
Always a door.
---
The city I lived in was the kind of place where people learned not to look too closely at their surroundings. Crime was normal. Sirens were background noise. Everyone had their own problems, and nobody wanted to get involved with someone else’s.
Maybe that was why nobody noticed when I started changing.
After the incident, I stopped talking.
Stopped making friends.
I stopped leaving my house unless I had to.
The only people who stayed were Dorian and Lilith.
The twins had lived next door my entire life. They were the only people who never looked at me like I was broken.
They knew about the voices.
They knew about the dreams.
They never told me I was imagining things.
At lunch, I sat across from them, trying to pretend I wasn’t exhausted.
Dorian studied me carefully.
“You didn’t sleep again, did you?”
I looked down at my food.
“I had the dream.”
The twins exchanged a glance.
They didn’t need to ask which one.
Lilith lowered her voice.
“The girl again?”
I nodded.
The girl.
The one who was always running.
The one who was always afraid.
The one who always disappeared before I could see her face.
Then I heard it.
A whisper.
Soft.
Almost impossible to hear.
“Mavis…”
My entire body went still.
The cafeteria noise faded away.
“Mavis…”
My hands tightened around the table.
That voice.
I knew it.
I had always known it.
“Are you okay?” Dorian asked.
I looked at him, barely able to breathe.
“I heard her.”
Lilith’s expression changed.
“What did she say?”
I swallowed.
“She said my name.”
---
I left the cafeteria before anyone could stop me.
The hallway was empty.
Too empty.
I walked toward my locker, trying to convince myself I was overreacting.
Then I saw it.
A small object sitting inside.
My bedroom key.
My stomach dropped.
I never brought my bedroom key anywhere.
Slowly, I picked it up.
There was a piece of paper attached.
Three words.
**Remember me, Mavis.**
My fingers went cold.
The handwriting was familiar.
Not because I saw it recently.
Because I had spent years trying to forget it.
---
When I got home, the house felt different.
It always had.
People thought I hated my house because it was old. Because the floors creaked. Because the lights flickered.
But that wasn’t why.
I hated it because the house remembered things I couldn’t.
Every night, my bedroom door opened by itself.
Every night, I heard footsteps outside my room.
Every night, I heard someone whispering my name.
Everyone said it was my imagination.
Everyone said I was creating memories that never happened.
But they were wrong.
The house was trying to tell me something.
I climbed the stairs slowly.
My bedroom door was open.
Again.
My heart started racing.
I stepped inside.
Something was different.
On my desk was a photograph.
I picked it up.
Two girls stood together in the picture.
One was me.
The other had the same dark curls, the same green eyes, and a smile that felt strangely familiar.
On the back, written in faded ink, were four words.
**Mavis and Evelyn.**
My breath caught.
Evelyn.
The name felt like a memory trapped behind a locked door.
I touched the picture.
And suddenly, I remembered something.
Not everything.
Just a piece.
A girl sitting beside me on the stairs.
A girl telling me not to be scared.
A girl who promised she would come back.
Then the whisper came again.
“Help me…”
This time, I didn’t run.
For years, I had ignored the voices.
For years, I had convinced myself they weren’t real.
But what if they weren’t trying to scare me?
What if they were trying to lead me somewhere?
I followed the voice.
---
The hallway became darker with every step.
I passed my parents’ room.
I stopped.
The voice came from inside.
“Help me…”
My hand reached for the door.
It opened easily.
Too easily.
Inside, everything looked untouched.
Like time had stopped.
Then I noticed something strange.
The floor.
One of the boards looked different.
Older.
Damaged.
Like someone had tried to hide something underneath.
My hands shook as I pulled it open.
And that was when everything came back.
Not all at once.
Piece by piece.
A memory.
A scream.
My sister’s voice.
My father’s anger.
The sound of something falling.
Me hiding on the stairs.
Me waiting for Evelyn to come back.
And her never coming.
---
December 24, 2015.
The night everyone told me I was wrong.
The night everyone told me I never had a sister.
My parents were fighting downstairs.
I was too young to understand what they were saying, but I knew something was wrong.
Evelyn found me crying on the stairs.
She sat beside me.
“It’s going to be okay, Mavis.”
I believed her.
I always believed her.
Then she went downstairs.
She told me she would be right back.
But she wasn’t.
I heard shouting.
I heard her scream.
And then…
Silence.
The next morning, everyone acted like nothing happened.
Like Evelyn never existed.
Like my memories were lies.
But they weren’t.
They were just buried.
---
I looked down at the hidden space beneath the floor.
The truth had been hidden for ten years.
Not because it wasn’t there.
Because someone wanted it to stay forgotten.
My sister wasn’t a ghost haunting my house.
She was the reason the house kept opening its doors.
She was the reason I kept hearing whispers.
She wasn’t trying to scare me.
She was trying to be found.
The door had never opened because something was coming in.
It opened because something had been trapped inside.
And after ten years…
Evelyn had finally found a way out.
