Hermes Khthonios

For good measure, knowing exactly what Hermes was after, Hades added a silent ouch to the second time his nose scrunched up. Sometimes it really was the small things that did it, and if that was all it took to make Hermes’ smile some more he’d do it over and over again. “Of course.” Knowing his siblings it wouldn’t just be Hera that had a few well chosen words. If anything he’d be hearing a lot more than he cared for, but the least he could do was take the brunt of it away from Hermes, he did have a bit more leverage on the lot of them all things considered should it go that far. 

it was hard to not smile, as it almost seemed like there was worry speaking through Hermes, and having not been in the same mindset at all almost made it amusing. Bad timing perhaps but it could, and would. be cleared soon enough, he was just going to let Hermes’ finish. “Okay allow me to rephrase that to more what I actually had in mind. I would like us to have a bedroom which we share, and I also think we should have our own so we do have the possibility of walking away and getting distance when we need it. But as opposed to one of us inviting the other into our space, I think there should be a space that is more neutral. Does that make more sense?” Feeling the pillows behind him again, and relaxing into the mattress. it felt easier to rest his hands on Hermes’ legs letting him have more of the control of how close they were.

That added ouch, no matter how played up, did bring a smile to Hermes’ face, and he felt oddly satisfied. It was usually the smallest of things that did it for him, no matter what most people thought. Yes, he was a well-known magpie who coveted anything that glimmered, but he could also get those things himself. Hermes was for all intents and purposes excellent at getting what he wanted, be it favors or items. So it was the small things, which he didn’t have to ask for or didn’t necessarily have a monetary value, that mattered the most. Though he would, obviously, be exceptionally disappointed if people stopped giving him gifts just because of that. “Thank you.” What was that? The fourth, fifth, thanks that he’d said since they woke up? He was using up an entire year’s supply. 

It felt incredible to hear the value Hermes really did give him, and not just assume. Read between the lines. Trust what was shown and not said had never really been Hades strong suit, considering how he could weigh down his own mind in spirals that seemed endlessly deep. It was hard to deny the obvious in that he had needed to hear it more, or in different ways. the first time around. But deciding to try and not look back too far and put a shadow over the new start they were making. “I don’t want to treat you in the ways I did before either. There was a lot of wrong done… too much. I truly think we have a better situation ahead of us this time.” 

Scrunching up his nose as his hair was pulled, he just followed along the pull and leaned closer to Hermes as a small “Okay” escaped him. Stretching the last inch to kiss Hermes’ cheek, lingering by the corner of his mouth. “Let them figure it out on their own and I will deal with my siblings. Promise.” It would be a lie to say he wasn’t looking forward to ruin whatever plan Hera possibly have had, no matter what her motives were. With one hand on Hermes’ arm and the other on his waist, he managed to pull Hermes that last inch closer to really close the gap between them. Chests flush together. “I would like for us to share bedroom again. What do you think?”

Part of why Hermes’ guilt became so immense whenever he thought back to their failed marriage was because he’d never done anything unknowingly. Unlike Hades, who often did the wrong things for the right reason, and perhaps didn’t give the consequences of his actions enough thought, Hermes had always known exactly what he did and why. Most times it’d been for the sole purpose of being hurtful, and other times he’d willingly - remorselessly - taken advantage of his husband’s mental state. At the times he hadn’t thought twice about it, but in hindsight even Hermes at his most callous could see how awful that behavior had been. Which, now, made him both want to do better as well as be more lenient with the way he thought back to Hades’ mistakes. “I hope so, I truly do.” He didn’t dare to put faith in it, not yet, but he was hopeful. More-so than in a very long time.

With a hand on Hermes’ neck, feeling the soft pulse under the warm skin. Hades felt a sense of comfort, yet another thing which could ground him to the moment. Listening to what was said, and weighing what was left unsaid, he felt a lot like he was left with a text book yet no answers. It was all in front of him, it should be simple enough, yet it never was when you were emotionally invested. “We both need to work on how we communicate.” He gently provided while Hermes went on. “But I agree, we both need to be better with reading situations, when to walk away when to not. You’re hardly the only one of us that can be considered… bitter.” For a lack of better word Hades settled on it, and it was descriptive enough of their actions from time to time. “We are both good writer, why not use it for ourselves too?” 

Feeling his smile come back, more and more, with each of Hermes’ words. Both of his hands held Hermes that much closer, a little tighter. “Look at you, expressing feelings.” It was in no way said to poke fun at Hermes, if anything he sounded impressed, and fond. Perhaps even proud. “How… do we…” falling silent on his own words, in search for better ones. Hades paused while simply looking over Hermes’ face. “How do we want other… people…” Honestly bastards was a better term regarding anyone in their family. “To find out? As much as I am sure Aphrodite might blab, as she loves to do. I don’t think she will do so right away without talking with us first.”

Bitter was certainly one way to put it, and it encapsulated the sentiment rather well. It was part of why it felt so surreal for them to be this close, this willing to give them another try. If it hadn’t been for his previous headache, Hermes might’ve suspected he was still asleep, or at least having a vivid daydream. In his weakest moments he’d often wondered what it might’ve been like if he’d acted differently, been a little more willing to compromise, to accommodate. Sometimes, he ended up feeling justified, and other times, regretful. But now that he was actually given the chance? He wasn’t sure how to feel or act. “No, we can both be quite harsh, but I’m not going to pretend like we’re equally bad at letting things go just because it’ll make me feel better.” God, he really disliked being this open about his own flaws. It made it so much more difficult to deny them in the future. “I don’t like the way I treated you, last time, and I don’t want to behave the same way.”

Not giving in, and losing himself in the moment, was hard. All of Hermes was so tempting, and he was right there, actually in his arms. How many nights had he not spent dreaming oft his? Wishing Hermes was so very close, and opening his eyes to an empty room. It was like balm for a very broken soul, which gave him a perspective of what Nirvana possible was like. Never mind that he already knew Elysium on a personal level.

Dragging his hands along Hermes’ sides, under his arms until he had his hands hanging, with a gentle hold. from Hermes’ elbows. Allowing the momentary distance to focus him on a more serious end of it all. “Of course.” A small curve remained on his lips, showing the picture of no hard feelings as best as he could. “Yeah there is a lot, and trying to be objective about it can be hard considering out positions in it all.” As they both knew Hades was a little bit too good at the compartmentalizing concept, and bringing out what he was really feeling when it finally boiled over. Not the best way of doing it, but it did allowed him a very objective mind when he tried. “Yes, that sounds like a plan. I don’t want to… go too far either. I do want to say though we have to try to actually talk and communicate, and not just get into an argument and use the walking away as an out. What do you think of writing down what we have going on when we do walk away, so we can reflect more on it?” Nodding to the idea of letting Hermes’ walk away, as much as he dreaded it each time. “Yes. Just remind me you will come back every now and then. Makes it less… scary to watch you leave.”

There was a different kind of atmosphere, it was hard to miss it. It was like the fried nerves finally had gotten a nice treatment and came out a bit softer, a bit more give which certainly made for a more comfortable situation all around. Tilting his head back a little, just to be able to look at Hermes a bit more, before leaning in to actually kiss him. Resisting Hermes, in any shape or form. had just never been in Hades’ nature, even less in a situation like this. “Yes, that sounds more sensible as a first step,” a slightly awkward smile came along with the words, as Hades had to remind himself that taking big steps was not the way to go. Dialing it down was certainly preferable. “We can, of course. Just know you are allowed to say what you like.” Not that either one of them really needed it said out loud to know the situation. They both knew what the other preferred, what the other would like. Meeting in the middle, and even knowing where the middle was, would be the hard part. “What would you like as a second topic instead?”

It took him a second or two to respond to Hades’ kiss, momentarily awestruck at the fact that Hades was, willingly, kissing him once more. It sent a wave of devotion so strong through him that he had a hard time not pressing himself closer to the other god, to simply try to consume everything his husband was. Still, he restrained himself, having had well enough practice with that throughout the years, and simply cupped Hades’ cheeks, leaning in a little. “Let’s try to be that, then. At least for a little while.” Sensible. What a horrible adjective. Necessary, true, but horribly boring. And yet Hermes was serious about them approaching this with some sort of responsibility, not throwing themselves headfirst and ending up hurt all over again. 

“See? We can be mature and sensible when we try.” It was hard not to say it with a fair bit of amusement coming through, considering their track record on the matter. But they were trying. A united effort for a common goal, it was honestly a good foundation considering how anything had ever been done in the past. Smiling more and more for each kiss he was given, Hades once more allowed his hands so explore Hermes’ body bit by. Fanning out over the small of his back, following the curve and the toned muscles. “I don’t mind much for where so the Underworld works fine for me.” Small steps, agreeing to things bit by bit. “I believe we can have something new built instead. What we already have may come with a bit too much baggage, right? Maybe overlooking the Styx?” One piece after another and they could build this. They had just gone about it in all the wrong ways the first time around, surely that must have played a huge part in it. “How is your stance to fidelity?”

Hearing those words felt like heaven. It was a balm to an aching heart that had simply longed to hear it for far too long, and now it was finally happening. It put a small smile on Hades’ face, made him hold Hermes that much closer, as if he couldn’t ever imagine letting him go again. “Okay… then we will figure this out together.” Placing a small kiss on Hermes’ cheek, as if to seal the words into being a truth neither one of them could deny, Hades felt a little bit better. As if at least they had managed to identify a goal they could both work towards. “While you are not wrong I do think that is start. We both put things out there which we want, and how we would like them. And compromise… together, for both of us.” Looking back into those blue eyes Hades managed what could be barely deemed half a shrug. “Suppose it is about time I don’t just give in then, right? Let’s try it, see how far we can come with it.” Lifting his hand to stroke Hermes’ cheek just to be close, just to make sure he was really there, Hades let his hand stay for a bit before falling to settle on Hermes’ back. “I for one would prefer us living together, and I understand it might be a big change right away, but I think it is something we can progressively get back to.”

“That is what we need to establish. What we need to talk about, and are talking about now.” it was a large simplification of things, but in broad strokes that really was what they needed and truly had to do. They could walk away, true, but neither one wanted to it seemed. What they did need either way was a more clear set idea of how to handle situations, which supposedly would help them along their way in whatever version of their relationship going forward. True, easier said than done. But clearly necessary. 

“Okay, good.” Leaning his forehead against Hermes’ to let them have an easier time remain in their bubble of things, he allowed his hand to gently pass over Hermes’ cheek and into the blonde hair. “I know it isn’t easy, trust me on that. It will be hard, it is going to take a lot of work, and patience. I am painfully aware of all of that, but I want to. I want to put in that effort because I do want to be married to you.” His embrace held Hermes’ a little closer still, using his height to almost curl around the other God. “It can be just like that, but we do need to establish what we want it to look like to give both of us the best possible situation going forward. What do we want this marriage to look like? What do we want it to include?”

Hermes rarely appreciated Hades’ ability to be rational even when emotionally invested. It had put the younger god at a disadvantage more times than he cared to admit, and more often than not ended with him trying to drag Hades down to his own level of emotional incompetence. Today, however, he somehow managed to quench that impulse, and instead gave a small nod. They were talking about it, that much was true, and it was more progress than he’d expected. Than he’d dared to hope for. “Right,” he agreed, more to himself than Hades, and managed to pull himself a little further out of that deep pool of cynicism he waded through. 

“Because maybe I worry you might actually be serious, and the idea of not having you even around… Well it is not a kind of world I would want to be part of, so I would rather avoid that.” The reasoning came bit by bit as Hades very much preferred not to think too much about it. Surely one of these days Hermes would have enough and it would turn out a reality, or at least for an extended amount of time which was still too much time then Hades would like. “Yes, we were. But I don’t think either one of us would have if we didn’t want to. Drunk and strained or not.”

Letting one hand leave Hermes’ thigh, to use it as help when sitting up, Hades allowed his other to stay around Hermes’ waist. Making sure there was always a lingering touch, one which would keep Hermes close. Make him feel like he really was wanted, in every sense of the word. “Hermes, look at me, please.” Lifting his free hand to gently cup Hermes’ face and direct his face towards himself, he let his thumb stroke over the warm skin. “Because you were unhappy and all I wanted was for you to be happy. Not a day passes by that I regret a lot of things I have done to you to have put us in such a place of unhappiness. In the best of world I never would have allowed myself to act the way I did, and by those action put this kind of doubt in you. But hear me when I say this; I love you, Hermes. I care about you. I long for the days when things were easier and not as clouded by the negatives. If there is one thing I know, it is that I would be honored if you would accept being with me, if you want to be.”

Being a creature blessed with selective hearing as well as memory, Hermes had no problem scrolling through his mental rolodex and procuring a long list of times Hades had banished him from his presence or even the Underworld as a whole. The memories made him take Hades’ words with a grain of salt, through their meaning came across without issue. “You say that now, but what of in a month or two, when we’re back to arguing?” he asked, not even realizing the seriousness of his own inquiry before it’d been spoken. What if they gave it another try and he somehow messed up again? Or if their expectations didn’t align like the first time over? Would Hades send him away? Tell him not to show his face in the Underworld again? What consequences would failing bring this time around, and would Hermes be able to deal with them? He had been doing better, but it’d taken so long to get to where he was. 

Few things amused Hades as much as being able to have Hermes seemingly at a loss for words. The blushing certainly added to the experience too. Just basking in it, as Hermes tried to find his footing again, he relaxed a little bit more to attempt to find some of his own footing, as it seemed the topics in their near future might not be the easiest.

Waiting for a beat, which seemed more like several than a long drawn out one. Hades felt more and more like perhaps he’d taken the wrong approach the longer he had to wait for Hermes’ to speak up. And would you guess it, there it was, the fact he had indeed taken a completely wrong approach. Allowing his hands to stop any movements completely, and poorly managing to mask the surprise written all over his face, Hades looked up at his husband with a puzzled expression. “Revoked?” he echoed. “You made it very clear that should I ever divorce you again you would never speak to me again no matter what I attempted, so forgive me if that never crossed my mind.” Taking a moment to let the thought settle with him, as if attempting to see a reality were the night before never happened, he couldn’t deny the grip of sadness closing around him. “Is that what you want?”

“I mean, I’ve used that as a threat at least a dozen time without much success, so I don’t see why this time would be any different.” Hermes frowned, a mix of confusion and disbelief in his eyes. As adept as he was at reading Hades’ intentions, he’d never quite gotten the hang of when the other man took him seriously or not. Hades was quite adept at looking like he was listening and agreeing, only to do a 180 degrees switch in attitude and intention the very next second. “Also, we were drunk, and under pretty strained circumstances.” He’d rather have Charon drown him in the Styx than allow Hades to marry him out of pity or some savior complex.

“That- No-” barely being able to hold back an amused smile, better yet the laughter in his voice, Hades leaned up a few inches to be able to actually kiss Hermes. Allowing the brief moment of silence be his time to catch up. Sinking deeper into the mountain of pillows, and mattress, because of the pressure. “See I also want this to be a we situation, but for a we to get anywhere we need to know what both parts would like.” Was he a bit too practical? Yes, always. 

“So for instance, what do we want to start this discussion from and establish things going forward. Living situation? Fashion?” Honestly, with Hermes involved fashion was a legit point on the agenda. “Sex?” As if to make a point he let his hands slide a bit further up Hermes’ legs, thumbs easily brushing against the soft insides. Not too high up to be completely out of line, but far enough to make a point. “I need a little bit to work with here to get going, if you will.”

“No? No to what? You don’t think I’m pleasant or you don’t think I’m reasonable?” Hermes raised his eyebrows in question but it was easy to deduce a good amount of mirth behind his words, and he was predictably distracted from what might’ve very well become a real point of contention as Hades kissed him. Unexpected enough to warrant a pause, Hermes heart beat double, a erratic and surprised stucco. He breathed out a startled sound as he pressed Hades’ back against the mattress, feeling his face heat up with the many emotions that had stirred up. “Well,” he began, clearing his throat, “why don’t you start by telling me what you want, and then I’ll go?”

“See you keep having points, again and again.” His voice was filled with a generous amount of amusement to it, but Hermes seemed to have a surprising amount of them, the points that is. But mostly only because he actually seemed to want to play nice, which was more than he’d ever really managed to get out of the other as a child. Not that he had been outright rude, but Hermes certainly had wasted no time in learning when he could or couldn’t be rude. Mostly behind someone’s back. 

For a moment the smoke like texture remained, before it settled to something more solid again, no smoke left behind. “Of course,” the soft smile his voice was filled with lingered behind on his face. His hand fell from Hermes’ hand, and comfortably settled on his thigh again, fingers slowly drawing patterns on the warm skin, unable to simply stop touching. As if he was making sure Hermes really was there, and that close. His eyes followed down to Hermes’ hand, Observing the ring for a moment, before looking back up. “What do you want to do about it?”

No, playing nice had never come naturally to Hermes, with him quickly learning to differentiate between necessary pleasantries and true politeness, and then crafting a persona thereafter. By now, so many decades later, he was seen as one of the most agreeable gods out there, always seeking equilibrium and taking up the mantle of diplomat - but only in matters which didn’t involve him directly. Once he got in on a personal level, he was rarely accommodating to anyone but his own needs. One could only hope that his stance somehow aligned with their own, which, at the moment, it did. “I’ve been told I have a very pleasant and reasonable disposition, indeed.” Hermes didn’t feel any need to rock the calm which had spread out between him and Hades, much less do anything to create unpleasantries. He was, for lack of a better word, content. Which he hadn’t been in an exceptionally long time. 

Admittedly Hermes was right. But pointing it out more than this seemed unnecessary. They had more than enough baggage that could weigh them down, which they could dig in for hours upon hours, and yet it would take them nowhere. Leaning in to the touch, letting Hermes’ consume every last bit of his attention felt so natural. Like second nature that had been denied for too long. “Come here.” Lifting one hand to beckon Hermes to come closer, he remember to fill in with: “Please.” Placing the tips of his fingers to Hermes’ temple, he focused on the pain, on relieving it and removing it. In reality he transferred it to himself, to easier get rid of it with less effort. The only change Hermes would be able to notice was the perhaps slight difference in texture of his hair and beard, as it was a more smoke like state. Sure it made it smell a bit more like a hangover felt. But at least it eased up faster. 

Not really knowing how to processes it simply had Hades putting it on the list for future Hades to deal with at another time. For now just being the moment seemed more than enough. He deserved to enjoy this, right? Bask in it little bit. Getting himself more comfortable on the mountain of pillows, it was a bit excessive. reminded Hades of just how long it had been since he had spent a night in this particular temple. Which felt like a sharp contrast to all the good he felt surrounded with. Stretching his neck to have an easier time to drink it spilled a little bit down in his beard, but he didn’t care, it felt so good. Lying back down in the pillows he slid his hands down along Hermes’ legs again, just gently touching, unable to stop himself for even a moment. “So please really is the magic word? Who would have thought.”

Being reminded of what title Hermes really should be addressed as had Hades’ head quickly catching up to speed. Bit by bit he remembered the night… and how it had ended. A large smile, which was impossible to not show. crept up on his face. Glancing towards  his hand confirmed it; yes, he was wearing the ring. Then looking to Hermes’ hand to confirm if he had the ring on just made it more real. Leaning close he pressed a kissed to Hermes’ temple, because it felt like he was allowed as much now. “Yes, I suppose you have a point.” Both of his hands traced along Hermes’ legs, comfortably settling at his hips. “May I have some, please?” Just seeing Hermes drink made his own mouth feel like sand.

The closer Hermes came, the more comfortable he got. Both arms wrapped around the warm body, pulling Hermes’ slightly on top of himself instead of just beside. Holding back a laugh - as it would be far too loud. He instead settled for inhaling Hermes’ scent deep in his lungs. Only after doing that did he oblige and do one of his fancy hand-gestures. A decanter materialized, levitating midair, filled with cool water. “Anything else, princess? Perhaps a golden croissant?”

The remains of sleep had attempted to leave Hades a lot earlier than Hermes, at which point he had already felt how hungover he’d be if he didn’t try to help himself. With staying in a semi state of smoke it had eased up rather fast, and he could sleep comfortably for a few more ours. It was the pressure, and of course words, from Hermes that helped him back to a semi place of being awake. he could truly agree with Hermes; it was too early. Materializing to a solid state of being, Hades merely waved a hand in the air to have the drapes shield them from the probing light of the sun. When he got a hold of Helios he would strangle the God for being so bright. “Ssssh not so loud.”