Once upon a time, there was a hoodie. It was a zip hoodie that pretty much worked with every outfit- black in color, and the material was soft and just a little fuzzy on the inside. It had white hoodie strings and a nice white lining around the zipper, making it perfect for pretty much any casual occasion. To school, just thrown on over a T-Shirt? Sure, Amazing! Going for a run? Lightweight enough and perfectly loose. Not sure how long you'll stay out, and don't want to get eaten by mosquitoes? TAKE THE HOODIE WITH YOU!
That's at least what Jake and Javy gathered. They were fourteen when one of them (they don't know who) showed up to school with it, and from that point on, it was shared property. Jake guessed that they didn't buy it themselves, but none of his sisters or Javy's older brother ever claimed to miss it, so it was anyone's guess as to how they got it. If you asked Javy, it was probably fate. If you asked Jake, he'd probably agree with Javy (since he didn't deem himself a backstabbing little bitch).
Javy was one hundred percent convinced that the hoodie was magic, even if it looked rather plain compared to the Fubu and PNB Nation hoodies their classmates would sometimes wear. If one were to examine the hoodie, it probably didn't look like magic at all. Jake was pretty sure most people would guess, "That's an American Apparel hoodie," and not look beyond that. But in every seam and millimeter of woven material, there was something special about it.
While most of their peers in college and later in life were convinced that grey sweatpants were the way to charm yourself into anyone's pants, Javy and Jake had their own secret weapon- their hoodie. And of course, you could say "You're both clearly over 6'0 and in amazing shape, it's obviously not the hoodie" (which is a wonderful compliment btw), but that is entirely and completely irrelevant to the matter at hand.
Both Javy and Jake had asked their high school and college crushes out, wearing the hoodie (!!!) and scored themselves either girlfriends, boyfriends, or at least a chance. And, most importantly, even if they had previously been given the cold shoulder, while not wearing the hoodie. Thus, the legendary piece of clothing they (mostly Javy) called the sex-appeal sweater was born.
It was actually pretty surprising how well it held up even after being used by the same two teenagers and young adults for years on end. It never started to fray, and washed incredibly well, neither fading in the washing machine, shrinking, nor retaining any of the various stains that got on it. Even the root beer float Javy once spilled on himself after being tripped by his family dog, Laffy, and the entire rack of ribs that Jake accidentally spilled over the front because the chair he sat in broke under him.
Which brings us to the issue at hand. The hoodie, which is in amazing shape, got them laid time and time again, the one that Javy, his best friend in the entire world, is 110% convinced is the entire reason for him having any game at all, the very one that still works with any outfit, and is perfect for travel, or to relax or to throw on when you have slept in your boxers and suddenly need to answer the door and don't want to stand there nipples out in case it's someone from work or even the old lady who delivers the mail- that very hoodie.
It's gone.
Jake, and he couldn't believe he was admitting it, actually managed to fucking lose it.