Only Friends, Episode 8 - Save Me
In which Mew goes on a destructive streak (on himself), Ray is not helping the situation, Top is a sad puppy, Cheum has enough while Sand attempts to again put some boundary with Ray (and failing)
Well…he truly went into a bender after breaking up with Top. It’s clear he is still devastated by Top’s betrayal and him getting together with Ray is partly revenge, partly because Ray has always been the one person (in his group of friends) who loves him unconditionally, and currently Mew needed the affirmation he is desired and attractive (remember he proclaimed to Ray he think he is “boring and plain” in the bookstore - and Ray immediately replying “You are delectable.”) - yeah, that tells us Mew’s self-esteem has gone down the drain after knowing Top/Ton slept together (recall he kept thinking they got together because he was inexperienced and from his perspective laughing behind his back, we know it’s not true but well Mew judgement is somewhat impaired for now).
So, having Ray who put him at a pedestal and has never said no to him is good for his self-esteem…just terrible for everything else 😫😩…in some way, Mew is using Ray to “gain access” to all the risky behaviours that Ray engages in - getting drunk, smoking, partying daily and trying Coke - notice Ray never “introduce” it to Mew (and I will disagree with Twitter/Tumblr people who said so, because it’s always Mew who initiated it, BUT Ray enables them, also notice Ray was the one who asked whether Mew is sure he wants to try smoking cause it was also Mew who nag him to quit before)…
Similarly, the scene in the bookstore - you can see with flashbacks, Mew is deeply missing Top. And when Ray came over, the conversation led to Mew again being the instigator for the Halloween Party, informing Ray he wants “to get drunk, and party all night long.”
The fact that he couldn’t even bring himself to reciprocate Ray’s declaration of love (and he admits it - “you are the one I should love”) or kiss him in private is also another clear sign that Mew is not over Top. It was only when Top is in front of him, he made a huge scene (partly also driven by him already drunk and high) that he impulsively kisses Ray to prove a point (on a side note, that was a good kiss boys! - so KhaoBook series in 2024 anyone? 🫣)
I’m not sure how much he will spiral further but if he wants to keep his honour student status, well, I guess the next few episodes will tell us whether Top can bring him back to reality - I have hope for this especially because when Mew drunkenly but brokenly told Top “Why must you be an asshole?” before passing out on Top’s shoulder, Top tenderly looked at Mew.
Which brings me to Top. He has truly eaten the humble pie this episode, and I felt sorry for him. Yes, he was (most likely still) arrogant and can be an asshole, but he truly does seem to connect with Mew and loves him. His mistake was to take what Ton said in face value and slept with him due to bruise ego (and I’m glad he told Ton off during the party - gawd the latter still tried to take a jab on Top’s fall from the grace by nastily implying Ray/Mew has slept together many times - firstly so not true cause Mew can’t even kiss Ray in private, and secondly not his business if they did sleep together)
Top looking at Mew concernedly from the outside because he knows the current behaviours are uncharacteristic for the latter (also perhaps a touch of guilt as he is likely aware at some stage he is responsible for Mew going into a downward spiral because of his encounter with Ton)
I applaud Top on him continuously trying to make amend with Mew, discussing the situation with Chuen and also helping out with the Ray situation (because let’s be real, he did not help Ray out for Ray himself, more for Mew/Chuem, although bribing the police force??? 😩🫠🫠🫠🫠… I do not condone that. Why can’t he help the legal way?? Urgh..don’t mind me, I’m just ranting out loud now)
Anyway, it was sweet of Top to bring Mew back safely to his house and clean him up after the party, but hemm…cuddling and sleeping with Mew after that (yeah, again not a good idea as at the present time Mew has broken up with him and never gave him permission for Top to sleep in the same bed/cuddle with him)
As much I love Ray (and kudos fo Khaotung who brings this complex, multi-facet individual to life, I also feel if anyone else played him, not many of us will be as emphatic towards him), his actions in this episode, yeah…left me wincing and shaking my head.
Ray unfortunately has yet to accept his alcohol/drug abuse is an issue and it’s affecting his relationships with everyone - be it Mew, Sand, Chuen and Boston. It doesn’t help at baseline, he is depressed, selfish and a lonely individual, clinging hard to anyone who showers him with any positive attention.
Mew is one such individual for Ray - the fact Mew was there at the lowest point for him definitely made Ray sees him in rose tinted glasses. Whatever Mew wants and says, Ray will follow (especially when it lines up with what he normally does - the drinking, partying, smoking, drugs etc.) When they are not a couple, it’s easier for Mew to lecture on Ray’s bad behaviour (albeit unsuccessfully), but now with Mew joining in the chaos, Ray’s destructive behaviours are going further into hellhole (I also find it interesting Ray seems so aware he is not first choice for Mew - “At least he let me cross the friend zone line”, “We are seeing if we can work things out” - these 2 sentences when he had the conversation with Sand outside the bar are very telling. Similarly, he didn’t even look surprised when Mew couldn’t say back he loves Ray…)
Sand is another person Ray connects deeply. The one person who has time after time help him without any transactional gains. And it’s interesting to note Ray’s destructive behaviours are somehow mellowed/lessened when Sand is around. Sand appears to be Ray moral compass. He genuinely listen to what Sand says (even more than he listen to Mew, although I don’t think Ray recognises this). Ray persistency in seeking out Sand (be it in the bar and uni) is obnoxious and exasperating on Sand behalf who is trying his hardest to put a guard around his heart - but well, Ray has the most effective puppy eyes I have ever seen and he uses this in good effect. Ray himself acknowledges he feels good in himself when around Sand, and he is certainly possessive of Sand’s attention (more so than he was with Mew, in my humble opinion). I think it’s clear now, Ray is truest and most honest when he is high/drunk - because his filter is completely gone. So, him putting himself between Sand and Mr Freddie Mercury, followed by him bluntly saying he knows Sand has feelings for him, and that Sand will never leave him (I also think he is projecting his own feelings towards Sand here..) - yup it’s him telling Sand to be honest on his feelings towards Ray (I'm not justifying Ray behaviour here - he should not have kissed Sand without consent and it was cruel for Ray to bring up Sand feelings out in the open like that - but as we have learn, Ray lashes out when he is angry (also, I think there is a hint of panic on Ray's behalf that Sand will leave him, just like his mom left him and he perceiving his dad abandoning him)
Sand is truly living up to his moniker of "best boy" ever. He got his heart broken into pieces by Ray when the latter decided to attempt a relationship with Mew. Time and time again he attempts to put a barrier around his heart and set some boundary with Ray - but as we can see, Ray is hard individual (for Sand) to resist. I know a lot of us agree Sand can do better than Ray - but well, the heart wants what the heart wants, yeah? (also doesn't help that each SandRay scene has the yearning and intimate feel that I can't help root for them - even when they are fighting cause you can see them fighting their attraction here, maybe cause it's played by FK?) - for e.g the scene between SandRay outside the bar, you could tell Sand was holding back tears and his voice break a little, and Ray clocked on it - the latter touched his arm, wanting to stop Sand from going while Sand asking to let go... urghh, my heart breaks from them.
And even after the massive fight between the 2 of them at the party, Sand's first concern when the police busted the scene is to find Ray - knowing the latter will be in further trouble if he is caught with drugs. And Sand, attempting to lie for Ray about the drugs to the police or him pleading the latter to stay still when the police put Ray on a chokehold with a knee on his windpipe...
On a side note, I also find it interesting the difference between how Sand and Mew treats Ray and his risky behaviours. I can't really articulate it properly but Sand seems to recognise Ray needs to take the first step if he wants to change for the better but Sand will be on standby and support him when he does. Mew, on the other hand (until this episode) while also being supportive tends to be more condescending. I think because Mew comes from a stable family, he can't understand at the base level why Ray can't change/stop his destructive behaviours easily.
Btw, I also love SandNick friendship - them bonding on their failed relationships and one-sided loves is just.... 🥺🥺🥺
Ton is keeping a low profile this episode. He knows he is now the outcast in his group of friends, and they are barely tolerating him. But oh, him drinking alone and looking at Nick's picture on the phone - is that a hint of some feelings towards Nick???
And just as when I thought there is some redeemable quality for Ton... he again prove to be the most consistent character in this series so far. Him nastily jabbing on Top at the party, insinuating Ray/Mew have slept together countless of time???? (urghhh, Ton seriously?)
Or him getting leaving with Atom (his brother's friend!!!! - I cringed at the end of episode 8) and from the preview of the next episode - yup it appears he did the deed with Atom (look, I'm not saying Atom did not play a role in this - that boy was clearly hitting on Ton and despite Chuem warning Atom, he made the conscious decision to leave the party with Ton). But the whole situation is just terrible (and if Ton has some decency, he would have decline Atom's invitation but oh well...we all know what Ton is like). I can already tell the whole Atom/Ton situation will also implode with Atom as the casualty.
Well, at least his working career is on the right path because his love life with Ton has sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Him approaching and attempting to make amend with Ton at the party - urghhh, again the heart wants what the heart wants, yes? - But I hope it gives some closure for Nick to move on with his life and put Ton firmly in the past (I'm actually not holding my breath on this, but we will see).
And now Nick with Dan (Papang's character) - well, that's a whole new dynamic that will be interesting to see. It's clear Dan is interested in Nick, but hemmmm....I'm not sure having a relationship with your own intern is morally ok cause the power difference between the 2 of them (it's giving me the ABAB vibe except more serious???). Also, Dan seems to have a daddy kink (I mean he asked Nick to call him "Daddy Dan" if the next episode preview is correct), and err, I'm not sure I'm into that.
Poor Chuem is at her wits end with the group of boys this week. For obvious reasons she is barely communicating with Ton. And now with Mew on a destructive streak, it seems she has lost the one bestie that has been the stable force in their circle of friendship. So, I am not surprised she teams up with Top to get back Mew on the right path.
Some people in Twitter/Tumblr may say Chuem barely cares for Ray - I think she does, but Chuem is self-aware she cannot control Ray's habits. She is not as close to Ray (when compared to Mew), and if Mew couldn't control Ray, what hopes does she has. And her asking Top to help out Ray because he doesn't want Ray to go into jail (well, if that is not her caring for Ray on some level, I'll eat my metaphoric hat)
So, her bursting out in anger and ranting her frustrations towards Ray, I don't blame her at - because it is true, in their circle of friendship, Ray has always prioritise Mew with Chuem most of the time as an afterthough. I'm not sure whether she blames Ray for Mew behaviours (and if she does - that is one thing I will say she shouldn't be doing cause all of Mew downward spirals are initiated by Mew and Mew alone, except Ray is there as an enabler)
Anyway, I'm glad Chuem has April - cause the latter, she is a GEM. Supportive and truly the best GF anyone can ask. Also, some wise word from April when she pointed out the boys are adults and can make their own decisions (even if those decisions leads to catastrophic consequences). They as friends can try and advise, but ultimately, it will be up to the boys to accept said recommendations or not.
As usual, this episode has left me with so many feelings and emotions. The above is me again just getting my thoughts straight before the next episode. It seems episode 9 will be "fluffier" but if we are getting SandRay reconciliation, I want Ray to at least have a proper conversation with Mew before doing so.
(Again kudos to all the cast members who you can tell act their hearts out - my personal favourite moments include SandRay conversation outside the bar and when Mew brokenly told Top "why must you be an asshole?" - cause both First and Book conveyed their heartbroken state through their eyes in those scenes superbly well)