Ode to Hobbes

I’m scared and anxious that the calmness is temporary, and that my sadness and anger is going to come back stronger. I can’t let it, another chapter is coming, is that enough to keep my thoughts and feelings subsided? I don’t think so. What would my younger self think if my feelings, how would he process this? I don’t know why that thought came into my head. I miss my now deleted music, and I miss my friend Nick.

I'll prove them wrong. I'm going to get whats coming to me, was what was basically told to me. Okay, fine. Let it happen, and I'll be just fine.

I'm in a dilemma at work that I feel actually legitimately frustrated with. Is God asking me to swallow my pride in this situation, what is God telling me? That in itself, is a frustrating question. My hands are tied, I'm expendable, and there are consequences if I take it higher, and would that even be the next 'best" step. I am unsure.

I can't wait to put September by The Shins on my IG story. :)

I couldn't help but think of you at last nights celebration. I remember when it was you reading the passion of Christ. It brought tears to my eyes that you weren't there with us, and aren't with us anymore. Something that has been on my mind is when people say, "I know they're in Heaven". I don't say anything to negate what they think or feel, but a part of me wonders, how can someone say this when we really don't know. Is it just sentimental? What will I say, feel, or believe when someone so close to me dies. Not that you weren't close to me, but perhaps when I'm faced with a stronger reality of death, I might say the same thing. I miss you, and I think of you so often.

I miss you so much man, I just want to play dnd again. Or I wish we could have played MTG a couple of times, that would have been so fun. The four of us playing magic.

God, I keep making mistakes at work. It’s so frustrating. It just adds to everything else that’s constantly on my mind.

Admin. is not on your side. It’s not like I really believed this, but I didn’t think it would be shown to me in such a trivial and overblown way. I work for my community, and the people, not for them. That’s what matters.