Losing Weight But Never Losing Myself

It’s been a long time since I’ve updated but I have phenomenal news:

For the first time in like at least five years I didn’t gain any weight over the weekend!

I stuck to my guns. I cooked on Saturday—a good friggin’ meal: dirty rice, meatballs, cheesy broccoli, and coleslaw—ALL FROM SCRATCH. And that was my meal for two days. I even had hawaiian rolls to go with it all. No soda or sweet tea but instead a sparkling water beverage. No snacking like a maniac. I did have cookies on Sunday but I didn’t over do it. I fought the urge to buy snacks when my husband picked up some for himself. 

Fuck, I’m getting SO much better at resisting snack cakes, candies, and all that other junk. It’s just not worth it. 

I weighed in at 263.2 on Friday (3/19/21) and weighed in at 262.8 this morning!

For reference on Friday the 12th I weighed in at 263.3 and that next Wednesday I weighed in at 266.5. It’s been common for me to gain anywhere from 5 to 7 pounds on the weekends. It’s bloat and other yuck but it’s still hard to work back off. So it’s nice that for once I’m not re-losing weight that had already been gone. 

I wore an outfit today that I was ashamed to wear weeks ago. The best part? I weigh more now than the last time I tried to wear it. 

It’s a mustard yellow sweater dress that somehow fits just right but is also too tight. It hugs to every bulge on my back. I tried layering bras to smooth things out but to no avail. 

The last time I put the dress on was around Christmas. We we’re staying with my husband’s parents and, for whatever fucking reason, I stress myself out about them thinking I’m good enough for their son even though I’m probably the best out of all the boys’ wives and girlfriends (I’m officially the only wife anyway.) But we have no kids so I’m worthless for that. (that’s me projecting, not something they said or even a little bit true—we are not against adopting at all—nor do we care what our parents think about our childlessness).

Anyway, I changed out of the dress because I felt like my back looked unflattering. 

But not today! 

So, Monday is the 1st day of March. That’s hot. Spring is coming around the corner and I’m so ready to see the sun again! Also, excited for not having to cover up my outfits in a winter coat. I’ve been walking around in sweatpants and t-shirts. I’m ready for dresses, skirts, cute tops, and light jackets.

March 20th is the first day of Spring btw.

It’s time for me to get back to more body intensive workouts. The exercise bike is great but it hurts my back and my knees. I also feel like it’s not a hard enough workout. I need to feel challenged again. 

Thankfully, I have my handy dandy workout journal chock full of workouts from November 2019 to December 2020. If you don’t have one of these I highly recommend it. You just write the date and what you’re going to do for your workout, for example: 25 jumping jacks, 25 squats, 25 march steps, 2 minute punches, 1 minute jog-in place; repeat x 3

I’m actually going to commit that workout to Monday. 

I remember when I couldn’t do jumping jacks, not for any sustained amount of time, and certainly not in multiple sets but over time it’s gotten so easy I would jump them jacks every day if my freaking shins didn’t hurt after awhile (yeah, I’m falling apart lol. Enjoy your youth!)

But yeah, it’s on come Monday. Time to get back to work. Ugh. But also, yay because it’s good for me and I feel better when I’m working out consistently.