journey to someone

BAWKtober Day 22 ~ Squash

Chicken doing yoga

90% of the time, that behavior stops.

when the behavior continues, it’s when she’s extremely frustrated that she’s not getting a communication across. while she’s incredibly smart, there’s going to be some lapse in understanding between the two of us, and she lashes out by doing the things that she knows creates frustration in me, almost like she’s trying to make me understand she’s frustrated just like that.

so, I sit back down on her level. “baby, I can see that you’re mad/frustrated/upset/sad. let’s work this out together. I really want to understand what is bothering you.” if it’s something that can’t be done (stay awake from nap, eat sugary things before bedtime), then we find a compromise: you want to stay awake from nap to play with toys? let’s dig out an old toy you haven’t played with in a while after your nap! we’ll do it together and have lots of fun. you want something sugary right now? that will keep us awake for too long, but here’s some *really tasty favorite fruit* for now, and tomorrow, let’s bake cookies together when you wake up.

she’s two fucking years old. and she understands that shit. and now, often times, when she climbs into bed and she still wants to play, she’ll tell me, “tomorrow can we play with these toys, Mommy?”. she already understands compromise, and her behavior is fucking phenomenal.

I totally understand that it can be frustrating to parent. sometimes it feels like you’re hitting your head against a brick wall. BUT KIDS DON’T HAVE THE FUCKING ABILITY TO TURN ON THEIR LOGIC BRAIN WHEN THEY’RE HURTING EMOTIONALLY. WE, AS ADULTS, DO. and it is our fucking RESPONSIBILITY to help them turn their logic brain back on, and help them work thru that strong emotion, instead of punishing them by letting out our anger on them.

you know what would happen if I were to yell at my kid? she’d yell back, louder, and now know that this is an acceptable way to react now, and I’d effectively have made it hypocritical to tell her not to yell at me. bam.

90% of the time, that behavior stops.

when the behavior continues, it’s when she’s extremely frustrated that she’s not getting a communication across. while she’s incredibly smart, there’s going to be some lapse in understanding between the two of us, and she lashes out by doing the things that she knows creates frustration in me, almost like she’s trying to make me understand she’s frustrated just like that.

so, I sit back down on her level. “baby, I can see that you’re mad/frustrated/upset/sad. let’s work this out together. I really want to understand what is bothering you.” if it’s something that can’t be done (stay awake from nap, eat sugary things before bedtime), then we find a compromise: you want to stay awake from nap to play with toys? let’s dig out an old toy you haven’t played with in a while after your nap! we’ll do it together and have lots of fun. you want something sugary right now? that will keep us awake for too long, but here’s some *really tasty favorite fruit* for now, and tomorrow, let’s bake cookies together when you wake up.

she’s two fucking years old. and she understands that shit. and now, often times, when she climbs into bed and she still wants to play, she’ll tell me, “tomorrow can we play with these toys, Mommy?”. she already understands compromise, and her behavior is fucking phenomenal.

I totally understand that it can be frustrating to parent. sometimes it feels like you’re hitting your head against a brick wall. BUT KIDS DON’T HAVE THE FUCKING ABILITY TO TURN ON THEIR LOGIC BRAIN WHEN THEY’RE HURTING EMOTIONALLY. WE, AS ADULTS, DO. and it is our fucking RESPONSIBILITY to help them turn their logic brain back on, and help them work thru that strong emotion, instead of punishing them by letting out our anger on them.

you know what would happen if I were to yell at my kid? she’d yell back, louder, and now know that this is an acceptable way to react now, and I’d effectively have made it hypocritical to tell her not to yell at me. bam.

If you see smol birbs with few or no feathers on the ground, you can safely put them back into their nest, bird parents will still care for them.

scruffy feather bird = starting to try the fly thing, not very good at it. only put in nest/branch if predators abound, i.e. you have four outdoor cats and they’re licking their chops.

Bird threading pine needles through a leaf to shelter its nest 

Poralia rufescens