But I feel like people often gloss over how… quietly traumatising it is to grow up being told that there is only one way to be happy— and that everybody who doesn't conform to that norm is secretly miserable and just doesn't know it— and then to gradually realise that, for reasons that you cannot help, that is never going to happen for you.

You're not going to find a prince/princess and ride off into the sunset. Or if you do, then it's not going to look exactly the way it does in fairytales. You're not going to get a 'normal' relationship, because you are not 'normal', and everybody and everything around you keeps telling you that that's bad.

You see films where characters are presented as being financially stable, genuinely passionate about their work and surrounded by friends and family, but then spend the rest of the plot realising that the real thing they needed was a (romantic and sexual) partner, to make them 'complete'.

You absorb the idea that any relationships you have with allo people will ultimately be unfulfilling on their side, and that this will be your fault (even if you discussed things with your partner beforehand and they decided that they were a-okay with having those sorts of boundaries in a relationship) unless you deliberately force yourself into situations that you aren't comfortable with, so as to make uo for your 'defects'.

You grow up feeling lowkey gaslighted because all the adults in your life (even in LGBT+ spaces. In fact especially in LGBT+ spaces) are insisting that it's totally normal to not be attracted to anybody at your age, and then you go to school and everybody keeps pressuring you to name somebody you're attracted to because they can't imagine not being attracted to anybody at your age.

And then you get older and realise that one day you're going to be expected to leave home, and that one day all your friends are going to be expected to put aside other relationships and 'settle down' with a primary partner and you don't know what you're going to do after that because you straight up don't have a roadmap for what a 'happy ending' looks like for someone like you.

(And the LGBT+ community is little help, because so many people in there are more than happy to tell you that you're not oppressed at all. That you're like this because you don't want to have sex, and/or you don't want to have any relationships, that your orientation is some sort of choice you made— like not eating bananas— rather than an intrinsic part of you that a lot of us have at some point tried to wish away.)

Even if you're grey or demi, and do experience those feelings, you still have to deal with the fact that you're not experiencing them the 'normal' way and that that's going to effect your relationships and your ability to find one in the first place.

If you're aiming for lifelong singlehood (which is valid af) or looking for a qpp, then you're going to have to spend the rest of your life either letting people make wrong assumptions about your situation (at best that your relationship is of a different nature than it actually is, at worst that the life you've chosen is really just a consolation prize because you 'failed' at finding a romantic/sexual partner) or pulling out a powerpoint and several webpages every time you want to explain it.

This what being aspec looks like for most people, and it is constantly minimised as being unimportant and not worth fighting against— even in aspec spaces— because we've all on some level absorbed the idea that oppression is only worth fighting against if it's big, and dramatic, and immediately obvious. That all the little incidents of suffering that we experience on a daily basis are not enough to be worth bothering about.

I mean, who gives a shit if you feel broken, inherently toxic as a partner, and like you're going to be denied happiness because of your orientation? Shouldn't we all just shut up and thank our lucky stars we don't have to deal with all the stuff some of the other letters in the acronym have to put up with (leaving aside the fact that there are many aspec people who identify with more than one letter)?

So you know what? If you're aspec and you relate to anything I've said above (or can think of other things relating your your aspec-ness that I haven't mentioned) then this is me telling you now that it's enough. Even if we got rid of all the big stuff (which we're unlikely to do any time soon because— Shock! Horror!— the big stuff is actually connected to all the small stuff) we would still be unable to consider our fight 'over' because what you are experiencing is not 'basically okay' and something we should just be expected to 'put up with'.

Brains are gluten-free, right?

This poor bastard is going thru the 5 stages of grief. 😂

“The rice not looking good. You lied to people.”

“Your rice too wet. You fucked up. Don’t bring colander into your rice cooking.”

“Uncle Roger so upset I put my leg down from the chair.”

Trump won Michigan by .3 percent, Wisconsin by 1 percent. Pennsylvania by 1.2 percent. Florida by 1.2 percent. North Carolina by 3.8 percent. And Arizona by 3.9 percent. That's a total of a paltry 491,719 votes. Just four hundred and ninety two thousand votes. And those are only the states that were razor thin in margin.

Yet over 100 million eligible voters didn't vote at all, and 5 million voters voted third party. That's 105 MILLION people who could have made the difference. 492k goes into 105 million 23 times. 492k goes into 5 million, the number of those who voted third party, 10 times. Ten god damn times. That's how many fucking people that is.

If just some of those states had gone to Clinton, she would have won. But they didn't, and it's because millions of people decided voting at all was too much trouble, or they decided that wasting their vote in a protest of ideology was more important than actual human lives.

Here’s the map of the results for New York state in the 2016 presidential election:

Now I know you’re thinking - holy shit balls that’s a lot of red! 

And you’re fucking goddamn right it is! Trump had 36% of the vote in New York in 2016. For reference, although that’s about the percentage that usually goes to the republican candidate, here are the maps for 2008 and 2012 respectively:

Before I get into the main part of this post, wanna know WHY all those areas that were blue in 2008 and 2012 were suddenly red in 2016? In 2008 and 2012, Independents got less than 2% of the total votes. In 2016? Almost 6%. Not a big difference in the grand scheme, but this is a really great example of how even a small number can make a huge difference.

Now, see that teeny, tiny, area of dark blue down at the bottom? That’s New York City. New York City is literally the only reason New York State always goes blue. This ONE FUCKING CITY is the reason people are so sure that New York - which holds 29 electoral votes - will never, ever, go to a republican. And under normal circumstances, while that doesn’t make me comfortable, it does hold a certain amount of weight. It’s also why in the 2016 election I voted in my home county of Schoharie - one of those nice bright red areas up north.

Except here’s the thing about 2020. New York City is fucking empty. 

24,000 people died of coronavirus in New York City alone this summer. 

An additional estimated 500,000 - no you are not reading that number wrong - have either moved out or been evicted. I work as a dog walker, and a full 60% of my client base has left the city and told me they are not planning to come back. They’ve left for places like Connecticut(7 electoral votes), or Massachusetts(11), or Vermont(3) or Florida or Texas or - you get my point. Now that they have been unemployed for six+ months, and the eviction freeze has been lifted, a shit ton of people are being forced to leave, and people with kids are also abandoning the city for somewhere less populated. 

And even further? No one I know has received their requested mail-in ballots yet. No one. Not a single person. The virus is still active(and yeah, we’re down to <1% infection rate, but schools are about to open back up so :) ) Voting takes place in schools. it is likely many people will not be able to risk voting in person - especially if we see an uptick in cases as kids return. Which means if their mail in ballots don’t arrive in time, they may not be able to vote at all. 

Hilary had around 4.5 million votes from New York - 2 million of those came from NYC and the surrounding boroughs. She won the popular vote in this state by 1.8 million votes.

Now, yes, a small number of the people who have left NYC are also Trump Voters. Something like 15% of NYC’s vote went to Trump. But a much higher percentage are democratic - and committedly democratic - votes. Healthcare workers suffered disproportionately from CV deaths. Startups, Small business owners, College and recent college grads, Theatre workers? They’re all gone.

New York State can, honestly, no longer be counted on to go blue no matter who abstains from voting or who votes third party because of the toll the virus has taken on the city. We really do need every single person who is able to vote, to do so. Not because it’s fun, or it makes you happy. Not because you believe 100% in the american democratic system. Because the people you - yes - you, the abstainers - have counted on to uphold your few, dwindling democratic freedoms, can no longer be counted on to do so alone.

Gerrymandering sucks. The electoral college needs to be abolished. But it is specifically because those things are still in place that you need to vote if you are able. We absolutely should be fighting the system. But we cannot abandon it to let it fall to ruin and leave the people affected by that fallout to die because of it while we gather our strength. And yes. People will die. If this summer has taught us anything, let it be that elections fucking matter and in the coming years, our leadership absolutely has the ability to determine how many of us survive.

TL;DR: If you have the ability to vote please fucking use it. This is not a normal election year, and the safeguards that have been in place are no longer to be relied upon.

Been in a mental funk all summer, so I resorted to the one thing that always brings me comfort: redrawing the same character. So have a chart of Alphonso and his layers of clothing, and some color overlays for some fun.