The Devil's Dictionary 2

Candles and crystals and tarot card readings Angels and other things too Do not make up for your special pleadings Or old ideas made new

2. interj. A word used by someone immediately after a paper cut. 

pron. A word that, so far, has at least eight billion different meanings.

It’s good that we have a special word For bad-mood women, let this be heard Only a woman can be a “shrew” “Harridan”, “harpy” and “Xanthippe” too “Termagant” also is gender-specific (If you’re looking for male words, a good one is “prick”) A “hag” and a “fishwife” are always female And a “virago” is never ever male. What can we learn from any of this?  Nothing we can’t ignore or dismiss.

n. A long explanation delivered by someone you don’t like.

n. A socially-damaging way of processing shame.

2. interj. Maybe. 

Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.

n. A desperate, last ditch methodology to discriminate against people when methodologies based on gender, age, religion, disability, income level and sexual orientation don’t work.

n. An opinion which no one’s managed to disprove yet.

adj. Old-fashioned, but with none of the associations with colonialism, famine, slavery, war or death from preventable diseases. 

pr. n. A sacred place to professional losers. 

n. A political and economic system abhorred by Americans unless explained without using the word “socialism”. 

n. An agreement between two people that, for the moment, neither can do any better.

v. An activity which transforms every pedestrian into an idiot and every other driver into a challenger.

n. Two words, when deployed as political analysis, mistaken by stupid people for thinking and by clever people for nuance.

2. n. Someone you could push over if you were talking to them.