I’m Fine
That’s what you told them when they asked. And that’s how the week started too.
But it started small. A broken watch, a small reminder of a lost loved one’s birthday, an overbearing family, and all those little pieces piled up until you snapped.
An angry response to your mother, a terrible temperament with your family, and a breakdown that hurts the one you love. None of those you would normally have done, but because of how much has been piling up, you couldn’t stop this storm.
And with all the pain you caused you start to spiral down. People are mad at you, you jeopardize the one relationship that matters to you, and you feel like the worst human being on the planet.
So you run. You start running to stop yourself from succumbing to the thoughts. This way you don’t let the terrible thoughts that cloud your judgement and stop yourself from misinterpreting tiny, insignificant things as signs of an end. You don’t tell anyone that you ran, not directly, but you leave breadcrumbs to let someone know.
And they figure it out, and try to pull you back. You try not to let them in, but the concern in their voice shows you that the thoughts you have are wrong, that they’re still there for you. So you go back to where you belong, because if you didn’t you would just cause even more harm. It doesn’t matter though, because for now, as you start to repair the cracks that formed those thoughts still ebb at the corners of your mind, distorting your view still, and until they can be fully fought back they’ll remain, making you question everything that everyone tells you to be true, because the pain is all too real, regardless of the truth.
But you’re fine.
