Cat Lady in Training

I’m sorry but this is the funniest thing I have ever seen ever in my fucking life her PEETS are STICKING OUT

Damnit. Mystery Flesh Pit guy uses AI.

really funny (in a bad way) that the AI is the part of this anyone gives a shit about

ohhh you don’t like that i’ve used AI? well, i’ve killed people. checkmate, liberals.

I know of a trail racing company that gives the slowest racer who finishes every race a DFL award: Dead Fucking Last. I was a little taken aback by this until I had it explained to me that those last-place finishers are pretty much uniformly people for whom finishing at all was an accomplishment: people undergoing cancer treatments, absolute beginners, runners in their eighties, extremely pregnant people, you get the idea. Moreover, what you see as this person crosses the finish line is all these sporty trail racers, many of whom finished the race literal hours earlier, cheering their hearts out because they respect that, yes, DFL is still a place, baby.

I was debating pre- and post- smartphone existentialism with an older gentleman today and he stopped part way through and said “Why are you a security guard? Why aren’t you teaching this at some college somewhere?” And I didn’t know what to say so I went with “Well I used to make art but nobody pays an artist”

I want to invoke thought and wonder and introspection and encourage the passions of every soul I meet forever and ever and dig until I find the glorious potential for creation and experience and joy in every single one but unfortunately I must pay rent and so I stand, a meat shield, an NPC with unlockable dialogue

#capitalism brain tells you that anyone interesting must fight to the top of their interest#and precludes the possibility of everyone everyone everyone already being interesting

I’m so proud of senshi for making it so far in the tumblr sexyman poll. I think it’s so beautiful that tumblr has reached a point where a short fat hairy bearded man is the pinnacle of sexuality for a large swath of this userbase. it’s like when you see before & after pictures of a rainforest recovering from deforestation. nature is healing and we can fight god

I hope he wins so someone will have to explain to ryoko kui what a tumblr sexyman is

I have to say I forgot the onceler’s thing was cutting down trees when I made my metaphor.

the forest is also a metaphor for his bush

you need to get it out of your mind that psychosomatic illness is just “making up symptoms” when it’s actually much more like your body is being actively poisoned by chemicals released from your brain

This and also "your body is desperately trying to alert you to the fact that stress is killing you"

Sometimes your bad coworker will be like "I can't do anything right & I ruin everything I touch :(" and you can't even comfort them because like damn. Yeah. You really can't do anything right and you do ruin everything you touch☝️

HE'S GETTING FIRED. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!

Does deeply repressed count as having weird prejudices…

The prevalence of the coyote as a trickster in American myth, the jackal as a trickster in African myth, and the fox as a trickster in Eurasian myth proves that the Funny Dogy is a staple across cultures

wishing all outdoor workers, delivery drivers, people who have to walk to work, bus riders, etc a very Don't die in this heat

Concerts will have you staring at the taller person infront of you and thinking Why were you born? Why? Why? Why?

its always morally correct to reblog your own posts for attention.