A Good Blog

I’ve driven across the country so many times at this point that all the trips have begun to blur together. Except particular moments like this night. When we pulled over on a cold, lonesome Wyoming highway in the middle of the night to look up at the night sky. This shitty long exposure doesn’t do even come close to capturing the show the universe was putting on that night. And later pulling off for the night and finding a place to sleep. We then woke up and found it to be the most quaint little town with a REALLY amazing breakfast diner. Thanks Donna!

Been traveling for a week all over America. We were unlucky in seeing the National Parks we set out for due to the government shutdown (and my cars inability to drive on snowy roads for 400 miles), but we found some pretty cool lesser known spots instead. Like this horse ranch in Utah. 

A year ago I sold all of my stuff and moved across country, and I had no idea what I was doing, or what I wanted to do. I thought I was completely directionless. I was questioning everything I had done up to that point. I was not in a good place, and I rang in 2018 bed ridden from anxiety.

There is something very meditative about the open desert road for me. My often loud mind goes quiet, and I am focused there. Especially at dawn. That first breach of light over the foothills. Everything is still, except for me. I’ve found so much solace in those long drives, in these moments where the universe puts everything in your favor. I took this 3 years ago, on my first solo trip cross country. And there’s not much special about it visually other than the feeling it brought back for me. The feeling of complete liberation. The excitement of the unknown. That I could just go and go for days--wherever I wanted. 

Another season down, and I’m still happy and damn proud to be here. It’s not about being “the biggest show on television” or anything like that. It’s about all the things not widely seen by the world. The friendships and camaraderies formed.

If only life could always be as simple as it was in this moment. I’ve been falling short and stumbling around lately. Lessons being learned, and relearned. I’ll get this eventually. 

Who are you when you go home at night? When you let your guard down? In the quiet moments when nobody is watching? That’s what really matters. That’s what I’m interested in. Not the idealized personas we all give ourselves. The messiness is far more real and interesting. 

Find your light. Take your darkness and work with it, rather than against it. Embrace the duality. 

My line of sight is a bit skewed lately. Though, I’m thinking that it actually isn’t supposed to be linear. Maybe it’s meant to be a disorienting experience to help me discover the intricacies of a bigger world. Nonetheless, living is learning, and learning means changing. 

I’ve been trying to live for the small moments more lately.  I get so caught up in chasing the big ones, that they often get overlooked. I’m thinking that maybe real happiness could be as simple as the joy you feel seeing your friend laugh. Or the sunrise. That first sip of coffee in the morning. A good conversation around a fire.  //  from a soulful sojourn out west #fujifilm

There’s graffiti near my apartment that I walk by every day that says “Be human in all that you do” I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, and what it means.  I’ve been trying to ascribe meaning to my own life. Questioning my place here. Feeling like nothing I really did mattered or was making a positive impact, and I was having trouble finding value in things I’ve invested so much time in.