meow

just overheard somwone say "hey dude i dont see the future I've got two balls and neither is made of crystal" and im absolutely losing it

I will lock in tomorrow like nobody has ever locked in before

the internet seems like a distant dream

whatever we are on rn is not the internet. It's ads

i think its important everyone has at least one thing they admit is really good even if they hate the people who made it. it keeps you humble. reminds you that you cant tie morality to quality. and most importantly gives you prime "complaining to your friends" material.

I know I'm not the first person to observe this, but banishment is a hell of a funny punishment. I now sentence you to fuck off. I don't care where, just get out of my sight. Go on. Git.

I tried distracting a vampire by throwing rice at him, but I only had two grains with me so it didn't work. He counted them instantly. Then he asked me what I was even doing with exactly two grains of rice, and I explained how a bowl of rice tastes better if you spread it out over an entire day. I asked him if he was gonna suck my blood but he said no, he just had a lot more questions about the rice thing.