The Corridor

It happened. Pool games at The Page got more expensive.

 These are harrowing times, people. I was blind-sided the other night when I took a dollar out for pool in the back room at my second-favorite bar (still a Waziema man) and learned that my game would now cost me $1.25. I went through the full spectrum of human emotion. I was confused, sad, shocked, angry, hopeful and, ultimately, resigned. What on earth happened?

 Et tu, Page?

 I spoke to my sources about the matter, and they confirmed my belief that Bob, the owner of The Page, was the farthest thing from a gouger on the block. After all, they serve free pizza and hoagies like twice a week, and Plinys are four bucks until 7 pm. 

 Apparently, the reason for the price hike has to do with the people who service the pool tables. The old quarter taker things were like 20 years old, and had fallen into a state of disrepair. When the maintenance guys came around to fix them, it turned out that they only had $1.25 mechanisms available. Phew. For a second there I thought we were becoming Valencia Street or something.

 But are we?

 Is this simple change the canary in the coalmine for Divisadero? Has first blood been drawn? Perhaps the Bean Bag will start charging five bucks for beers. Maybe Little Star is going to make their ATM fee to more than a quarter. I dunno man. Times look like they may in fact be a changin’.

 What’s most annoying about the price increase is its likeness to the hot dog – hot dog bun fiasco. Now, if you wanted to play one game of pool, you need to change two dollars. Two games? Make it three. And so on. Everyone knows that quarters in bars are about as useless as the non-alchoholic beers they ceremonially display. If you don’t believe me, try leaving a tip in change anywhere. You’re a pariah.

 But maybe I’m a little too worked up about this. And maybe I should re-examine my life if I consider this “news”. Either way, next time you go to play pool at The Page, make sure you bring some extra singles, because it’s going to cost you.

 Big time.

I often experience the very unique and special brand of guilt reserved for those who “wish they cooked at home more often”. It’s strange. I really love to cook, and can definitely whip up some real friend-winners should the need arise, but I more often than not find myself resignedly forking over fifteen dollars for a plate of food served well within 1000 yards of my kitchen. It’s a part of growing up I still don’t have down pat, but hey, at least I’m working on it.

Notwithstanding, , when I do shop, it’s usually at my favorite local purveyor, Falletti’s. I can go through a litany of reasons why I hold this place dear to my heart. It has a great selection, the people rule, they have great wines and beers, and their meat and seafood section is off the chain. However, one thing that always sticks out in my mind is the fact the checkout line is always lightning-fast, no matter how many 30-somethings have descended upon my fair market between 7:15 and 7:45 pm.

It’s remarkable. Every time, I start seeing people piling up, it feels like 20 new registers open up and you are whisked away to the parking lot, bag in hand, before you know it. It’s liberating, refreshing and relaxing all at the same time. Knowing the queue will ultimately move so swiftly, I enjoy taking the time have to peruse the foreign candy, the salsas and the Asian condiments. I cherish the people watching, too. In fact, It’s top-notch. There’s always the post-yoga couple, mildly arguing about the kale. You also find the lonely business type, still in his work shoes, clutching a simple, depressing meal. There are, post-hippies, young techies and, of course, weird drunks like me buying pork, again.

The line, of course, is a strange microcosm of where our neighborhood is heading in a rapid fashion. What’s great is the fact that Falletti’s has been a San Francisco staple for so many years, thus perfecting the metaphor of the young and affluent superimposing themselves on something that’s been there, in much the same way, much longer than they have.

But I digress. After all, it’s just a line at the grocery store, and our neighborhood has always been in a constant state of change. All told, I’m surprised I’ve had the time to make these connections given the consistently brief periods of time I spend waiting in that magnificent line.

At the end of the day, however, the primary beneficiary of all this isn't me at all. It's this guy:

Madrone owner Michael "Spike" Krouse is at it again. This time, however, it's in the form of a little bit of neighborhood philanthropy. In between buying Pop's in the Mission, raising money for an employee in need and just being an all around Divis heavy-hitter, Spike found the time to help raise money for The Creative Arts Charter School by hosting his newest show entitled Great Art Starts Here. The show features 366 self-portraits, all made by students at CACS, two of whom are Spike's own children. In fact, every student at the school made one, including the Kindergartners. Here's the kicker: He took the artist's stipend he usually provides to professionals doing installations at his bar/gallery and donated it all to the school. He then went one step further by putting a snazzy, see-through donation box up on the wall and I hope that the next time you find your low-life self getting tanked over there you toss a buck or two in, ya know, for the kids.

According to Spike, there were many reasons behind putting this show together. Predominantly, he wanted to give back something back to the school and the community while allowing kids to explore their own creativity at an early age. Spike told me that what makes the art these kids create so cool is how free and honest they are in what they do. Furthermore, allowing an outlet like this for them to display their art at such an early age helps build confidence in any endeavor they might tackle in the future. During the daytime--when the bar was closed--at the at the Divisadero Art Walk, Spike invited kids and parents to admire their display. Later, he had a nighttime reception as a way to build community amongst parents at CACS. In addition to all of these benefits, the show ultimately helps raise awareness about the school itself--which is very cool and located over on Turk and Pierce. All in all, I'd say the show brings nothing but positivity to the neighborhood and I applaud Madrone for throwing some of these whippersnapper's pieces up on a wall. But enough of all this. Let's check out some of the goods.

Personally, I'm a fan of the younger artists since its always super-conceptual (even though they don't really have a say in that). The cyclops decision was no doubt an aesthetic risk, but I think she pulls it off.

I think the colors on this one are the real stars of the show. It's also informative: This child likes to jumprope.

Clearly created by an relatively older fellow, the stoic expression on this kid is something he will try to recreate in his figure studies at RISDI many years down the line. Right now, it just comes to him naturally.

This person means business.

Did someone say chiaroscuro? It took me a second to really appreciate this one. It's freaky, in a good way. This kid knows what a light source is all about.

Personal favorite.  He's like a young Keith Herring.

GREAT ART STARTS HERE will run at Madrone until February 15th. Go check it out, and make sure you throw a couple bucks in the donation box.

Madrone Art Bar

500 Divisadero Street

(415) 241-0202

CONFIDENCE. CARING. COORDINATION.  I have a lot of the first, some of the second, and very little of the third. But that didn't stop me from finally stopping by The Academy of Tae Kwon Do on the corner of Oak and Scott to see what this place was all about. Ironically, it's  across the street from my local corner store, where I frequently buy products that manipulate and distort my levels of confidence, caring and coordination. That said, the investigation felt like it was meant to be.

That's Grand Master Bill Dewart. He's an 8th Degree Black Belt and one of the kindest and most fascinating people I've ever talked to. To put the "8th Degree" thing into perspective, the highest degree of Black Belt is the 10th, and that is only awarded posthumously. Right off the bat, Bill told me that he's "trying to avoid the 9th, because it's just a little too close to death." At that point, I knew I was in for a good time.

William Dewart was born in The Bronx and lived there until the early seventies. He was a tough kid and described himself the leader of "the younger kids" in his neighborhood who were, of course, forever pit against "the older kids". He was always athletic, playing football and everything else, until he saw an ad in the back of a comic book featuring a man disguised in a hood that promised to teach young ruffians the ancient ways of martial arts. According to the ad, the prospective instructor was required to wear a hood due to the fact that if The Powers That Be knew he was disseminating his particular techniques to the masses, he himself would be killed. Well, that apparently caught the attention of the then young Dewart and he decided that martial arts were for him. He took up Tae Kwon Do due to a natural quickness on his feet (Tae Know Do focuses primarily on kicking maneuvers) and, evidently, never looked back. In 1972 he was working for a large corporation in Lower Manhattan while running a Tae Kwon Do school in Jersey. Deciding the corporate life wasn't for him, he sold his belongings, left his school under the supervision of the highest ranking Black Belt, and hitchhiked to San Francisco.

Bill opened The Academy of Tae Kwon Do in 1979 and has been teaching there, without interruption, for nearly 35 years. It is associated with S. Henry Cho's Karate Institute in New York City, one of the oldest Martial Arts schools in the country. You see, Bill was a taught under the direct instruction of S. Henry Cho back in NYC. To the layman (me), this might not seem like a big deal, but it should be noted that S. Henry Cho is credited as one of the first people to introduce Marital Arts to the United States of America. He created the All American Open Tae Kwon Do/Karate/Kung Fu Champion Tournament, which is in operation to this day. In fact, it was at this very competition that Chuck Norris was introduced to Bruce Lee (pictured below). That's Grand Master S. Henry Cho with the microphone on the right.

Needless to say, Dewart's got some credentials. However, you wouldn't know it talking to him. He's extremely kind and humble and absolutely devoted to what he does. When I asked him what Tae Kwon Do was all about, he replied, "All Martial Arts are good. What's most important is the relationship that is built with the instructor. It's not the art, it's the teacher. Building a good rapport is the most important thing".

Bill offers two classes at his Dojang on Oak Street, one for youths and one for adults, and also teaches Tae Kwon Do and Self-Defense classes at San Francisco State University (for credit). Bill's instruction focuses primarily on practical, street-style self defense, a skill he developed early growing up on the hard streets of The Bronx. In fact, a great mantra he relayed to me from his youth was that "you never win a fight going backwards". I got him to show me a very basic move during our interview, a keystone maneuver in a style he calls "Tiger Defeats the Bull", and I can safely say that I pity the thug who ever pulls a knife on this guy. In fact, he performed another demonstration in which I held a rubber knife and he lightly chopped a pressure point on my wrist that caused my hand to involuntarily pop open, casting the would-be weapon to the floor. Apparently, he teaches pupils about acupressure points in his instruction as well. My hand tingled--but didn't hurt--for about two minutes afterward.

If I were to talk about things in terms of The Karate Kid, Bill Dewart runs an Academy that is the absolute antithesis of those douchey "Bad Dojo" punks that bully Ralph Macchio throughout the film. In fact, Dewart spends a lot of time educating students about the harms of bullying, whether it be in school, at the workplace or elsewhere. Moreover, he's trained many young kids in the neighborhood throughout the years, giving them self confidence and teaching them the  importance of physical exercise and proper nutrition. He even educates youths and adults alike about the benefits of Chinese Medicine, learning the hard wayin his fight against the Stage 4 cancer he was diagnosed with way back in 2001. That's right, Professor Grand Master Bill Dewart is also a decade-long cancer survivor and attributes his longevity to the use of acupuncture in order to negate the awful side effects of the chemotherapy he endured. Sheesh. This guy amazes me. Here's a picture of Bill whoopin' some ninja butt back in the day:

Apparently flying kicks like that were only developed to knock an attacker off his horse, which according to Bill, he hasn't ever had to do. However, he did assure me he could still jump that high but he would be  running the risk of injuring himself on the landing. I'll take his word for it.

The cost to join The Academy of Tae Kwon Do is extremely reasonable. A one-time $35.00 registration fee gets you a free uniform and a free week of classes to try it out. After that, it's just $100.00 a month to attend as many classes as you want. Adult classes are offered Monday through Friday from 6pm to 7:30pm and Saturdays from 12pm to 1pm. He only charges $25.00 for a belt test, which is apparently really good since he told me that's what they cost him when he was learning in the sixties.He justified his door-buster prices by explaining that he doesn't do any of this for the money, that he teaches Tae Kwon Do because he simply loves doing it. Then, with a smile, he exclaims, "hey, if I didn't do this, I'd have to get a real job!"

-Stephen Jackson

ACADEMY OF TAE KWON DO

988 Oak Street

IT’S OFFICIAL. BY THE END OF JANUARY, TOUR BUSES WILL NO LONGER BE WELCOME WITHIN A NEWLY RESTRICTED AREA SURROUNDING ALAMO SQUARE PARK.

The decision to accept a proposal favored by both the SFMTA and the Alamo Square Neighborhood Association was made yesterday afternoon at a SFMTA Board of Directors Meeting in City Hall. According to the new regulations, tour buses (defined as commercial busses with more than nine seats) will be barred from the area illustrated below.

Apparently, SFMTA observed tour bus activity on Hayes street back in June of this year reported that a bus (not including the 21 Hayes) passed every 7.5 minutes. According to their findings, roughly two thirds of these busses were large tour busses or vans. It should be noted that the new restrictions will not apply to employer (Read: Google) busses, although they accounted for 33% of bus traffic in the observed period. Also, the existing tour bus loading zone on Divisadero and Fell Street will now be moved to the corner of Fell and Pierce (pictured in red).

BUT WHAT EFFECT WILL OUR NEWLY CONSTRUCTED ‘TOURIST MOAT’ ACTUALLY HAVE IN IMPROVING OUR DAILY LIVES? FURTHERMORE, WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT US? Down at City Hall I got the chance to chat with Paul Rose, a Media Relations Manager for SFMTA, and he told me that the major reasons they backed the regulations had to do with improving MUNI service on Hayes, promoting pedestrian safety and responding to neighborhood concerns surrounding noise, traffic, safety and quality of life. Ultimately, I guess I agree with him as a resident of the neighborhood but my feelings are decidedly mixed.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the biggest fan of the never-ending pulse of of camera-clad minions gawking at “The Full House House”. In fact, I once threw a slobbery tennis ball in the middle of a 20 person group photo just to see the melee that ensued as my dog barreled down the hill to retrieve it. That said, tourism is one of, if not the, most important industries in SF and dissing them seems to position us as the dog biting the proverbial hand. That’s not to say that we need to succumb to the whims of the Hop-On/Hop-Off fat cats, either. It’s just important to remember that the tourism industry at large employs a whole lot of people and if we begin to allow the hyper-regulation of when and where those companies can do business, the long-term effect on available jobs for the average joe could be less than desirable.

But who am I kidding? People will never stop visiting San Francisco. However, I’d like to note the following: It’s the tour buses, not the Google Buses, that are effected by the new regulations and I feel this juxtaposition to be allegorical to the changes we’ve seen in our neighborhood and the city at large. As the new influx of money continues to flow upward from Silicon Valley and into San Francisco, I think we should be prepared to see many more regulatory decisions similar to the tour bus ban on Alamo Square. A fancier population brings with it higher expectations regarding their quality of life and I see this as a bit of a harbinger of what’s to come. After all, “Employer Buses” still accounted for one-third of the buses observed by the SFMTA in June—up from 3% in October 2011.

But I digress. I definitely won’t miss the rumbling idle of those tour buses as I head toward Alamo Square to walk my dog, and I certainly won’t miss the smell. I also won’t be as worried about taking out an entire family of tourists, blindly stepping off their coaches as I cruise past the park on a Saturday afternoon.

Well, at least until I drive one block down to Fell and Pierce, because that’s where they’ll be unloading from here on out.

-Stephen Jackson

ABOVE IS ALL THE INFO YOU NEED TO KNOW FOR A COOL COMMUNITY EVENT PUT ON BY THE FOLKS AT NEIGHBORS DEVELOPING DIVISADERO. In case you aren't familiar, they are a non-profit that focuses on "supporting inclusive, enriching and sustainable development" around the Divis Corridor and surrounding neighborhoods. So far, their two major projects have been to save the Harding Theatre (pending, clearly) and more recently, the creation of the New Liberation Community Garden on Divisadero and Eddy. These guys have their shit together way more than I do and I applaud them for it, and you should too.

They are putting on an event to raise money for Marcus Books in The Fillmore, who is currently at risk of being evicted from their long-time location on the other side of the hill. A great newsletter about the history behind the event can be found here, and you can read more about the shindig on Facebook as well.

Thanks, NDDVIS, for keeping it real on the far side of The Corridor.

AS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE NOTICED FROM THE WEATHER THIS WEEK, THE INDIAN SUMMER IS OVER AND IT'S TIME TO TIGHTEN YOUR GAME UP A BIT. 

That's where Shorty Maniace comes in. He's the guy standing in the bottom right of the picture above and he wants you to come to his new barbershop, J. P. Kempt, immediately. The hippie days of SF are long behind us and--thankfully--this whole neo-folk MGMTish fake hipster hippie thing seems like it's come and gone as well. So what does that mean, exactly?

Get a damn haircut! And this is the place to do it.

J.P. Kempt is the new bona fide barbershop that just opened  on Divisadero between Oak and Page, and if you go inside, it already feels like it's been there for years. The vibe is old-timey mixed with contemporary conversation and, if you're over 21, they'll serve you beer. My buddy has been getting groomed by Shorty for years at other places where he's worked in SF and I decided to tag along to see what the fuss was all about.

There's Shorty giving a Healy a trim. If you look close, they both seem like they're having a pretty good time.

Let's just say that Shorty is good at cutting men's hair.  An Alaskan native, Shorty starting working in barbershops 25 years ago in Seattle. He got his start sweeping hair for a barber by the name of Jasper Paul who soon became his mentor. In fact, the "J.P." in the place's namesake is an homage to the guy who once told Shorty, "we're in this business to keep people kempt". Well, I guess he took Jasper's words to heart, since he moved from Seattle to New York and made a name for himself as a "one of the best barbers in the country" according Esquire magazine. Sheesh. And I thought he was just some tattoos who knew his way around a pair of shears!

Shorty moved to San Francisco three years ago and worked independently at several places but always had the dream of opening up a shop run the way he thinks it should. He believes a barbershop is ultimately a social place for a guy to shoot the shit, get a cut and a shave, and generally have a good, relaxing time. Furthermore, Shorty told me that after working in salons for so long, he always saw regular guys sitting in the chairs and looking visibly uncomfortable. Trust me, I know the feeling. I'm not a metrosexual or anything, but I also don't want to go to a Supercuts. For the most part, the only thing for guys like me who want a quality haircut to do is sit awkwardly in some modern salon while all the ladies seem to be having a ball. And that's not to say that there are plenty of quality places in the city to get a trim, because there are. But standing around this place drinking beer and cracking jokes with the folks at the shop had this whole classy clubhouse feel and made me want to get a cut too.

As you can see, the prices are reasonable, especially when you compare them to other places in the city of equal quality. True, in between the strip mall places and high fashion salons, men do have the option of going to truly "old fashioned" barbers run by "old people" for "less money". But speaking from personal experience, these folks can make you feel just as alienated and leave you looking like you're going to fight in the Korean War. Yup, places like Shorty's are really filling a void and I'm glad he set up shop in our hood.

If you peek behind the satisfied customer above, you can see all the barbers just milling about having a good time. In fact, Shorty told me that his face often hurts from laughing so much after a day's work. And although the beer definitely helps the camaraderie a bit (although the employees don't drink), Shorty cited this as a catch-22 saying, "well ya gotta speed up because the more they drink, the more honest they get". Man, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that when I wasn't in a barbershop!

Ultimately, my experience at J.P. Kempt was a positive one, and I wasn't even the dude getting his haircut. They've done a great job at cultivating the social aspect of getting "kempt"  and I look forward to going there myself in the near future.

-Stephen Jackson

J.P. Kempt

351 Divisadero

(415) 437-1300

www.jpkempt.com

After quite the hiatus, Saffron Grill plans to open its doors sometime in the next two weeks. If you are new to the neighborhood and aren’t familiar, Saffron Grill is our very own North Indian oasis just off Divis and Fulton. A while back it fell victim to a fire that, according to owner Ajeed Mehta , remains of unknown origin. However, flames notwithstanding, the place is soon to be back and open for business (perhaps as early as next weekend) and I couldn’t be happier.

There’s a shot of the interior as it stands now. True, it may not be much to look at currently, but the warm tones of the wall will very soon house --once again--the delectable flavors of all the dishes you came to know and love such as  the Chicken Achar (personal favorite), Saag Paneer and some of the best Tikka Massala you can find in SF. I can say this with a certain amount of confidence since Ajeed assured me that the restaurant will reopen exactly as it was, under the same ownership, with only a few “minor menu changes”. I think he meant that some prices will go up, but hey, at least the restaurant was pretty cheap to begin with.

I’d like to take a moment here to note the uniqueness of this place. Despite being devoured by flames and given the perfect opportunity to re-invent itself, Saffron Grill is purportedly staying the same. I know I’ve said a lot about how I’ve welcomed the change to our neighborhood. In fact, I’m a full supporter of places like Zyriab’s face-lift (since we are talking about the process of re-invention). However, there is something special about the fact that Saffron burned down, had the opportunity to “change its image” but chose to stay the same.

Who knows. Maybe, to a certain extent, this act of consistency is making me reflect on the amount Divisadero has changed and the swiftness with which it’s done so. Either way, I’m not knocking our new digs.  I think progress can be necessary, inevitable and bittersweet at the same time. That said, I’d like to give it up to Saffron Grill for having the opportunity to get fancy-pants and remaining a cozy local haunt that I will once again be frequenting weekly.

Saffron Grill

1279 Fulton Street (at Divisadero)

(415) 567-5100

PERHAPS JUST TO PROVE I LEAVE MY NEIGHBORHOOD FROM TIME TO TIME, I THOUGHT I'D POP OVER TO HAIGHT AND STEINER TO CHECK OUT A NEW MURAL THAT'S UNDERWAY.

And I was't disappointed. Legendary Barcelona-based street artist Miss Vann and Sao Paolo artist Ciro Schu are currently painting what will no-doubt be a stellar piece on the side of Wild Feather in Lower Haight. Here are some close ups:

Miss Van. She's one of the main early players in the feminine movement within street art. 

Ciro Schu is from Brazil and he kicks ass.

If you get the chance, swing by and watch them work. Miss Van told me they'd be finished by Thursday. If you can't, don't worry, I'll post images of the finished piece as well.

But since we're on the topic of Neighborhood Beautification, let us now turn to our own special place in the sun here in The Corridor:

Man Lower Haight is really making us look bad. After the bust that was Absolut's super-hip marketing campaign, we're still left with this gaping eyesore/potential amazing mural location that just can't seem to stay un-tagged.

That's it. I'm calling the realtor tomorrow.

TONIGHT, WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 25TH, MADRONE WILL HOST A BENEFIT TO HELP ONE OF THEIR BARTENDERS PAY FOR COSTS ASSOCIATED WITH HIS RECENT FIGHT AGAINST CANCER. It goes from 7pm until closing and you should attend.

Owner Michael "Spike" Krouse put a killer event together to help out his friend and colleague, Brendan Mainini, after his recent surgery in which a tumor was removed from his kidney. There's going to be a raffle with super legit prizes as well as an auction. They will also feature art by Mike Giant and other local artists. And since it is Madrone, they will clearly be providing some great tunes as you drink on a Wednesday--guilt-free--in the name of helping a local dude out after he got cancer. 

Oh, and by the way, the shindig appropriately called "Rock the Spot: Fuck Cancer Party". I got a kick out of that. If you ask me, cancer really deserves a healthy bitch-slap from time to time.

If you can't make it, they are accepting any donations that can be auctioned or sold as well as checks made payable to Brendan Mainini with "F you Cancer" written in the memo. Send checks to MADRONE, 500 Divisadero Street SF, CA 94117.

Again, the event is TONIGHT, September 25th, from 7pm until closing. Here's the Facebook Invite for more details.

Well, that took a while. However, at long last, La Urbana opened its doors on Wednesday night and I stopped in to see what all the fuss was about.

Apparently, I wasn't the only person who had the same idea. I'm pretty sure you needed a reservation, but that wasn't a problem since I was just planning on saddling up to the bar. While waiting in line for the new hot restaurant to open, it hit me: I was waiting in line for a new hot restaurant to open. Man, I used to be cool.

Regardless of my newly-realized status as an obnoxious wannabe foodie, I ordered the Urbana Margarita ($9). It's made with Peloton de la Muerte Mezcal, fresh lime juice, agave syrup and 'chimolera extracted citrus oils'. It's served straight up and you get the option to have it rimmed with bacon salt. I have no idea what chimolera is, but I do know that this whole business of putting bacon salt in a 'rita is downright inspired. I look forward to having many, many more.

Next, I ordered the Ceviche ($11). The fish itself was prepared really, really well and was served in a little gem lettuce wrap with avocado, oranges and 'cucumber dust'. I have to say, I prefer eating ceviche with chips. However, the fish is so good that they pull it off.

There they are together. While staging this shot, by myself at a bar, I had a similar realization to the one I had while waiting in line. It was a mixture of shame and pretentiousness that was completely new to me. Who had I become? What would my 23 year-old self say if he caught me dropping twenty bucks on a margarita and a few bites of fish? Truth be be told, he wouldn't say anything because he wouldn't be able to see me past the mountain of tall boys barricading the door to his dirty room. Ah, the passage of time!

In short, La Urbana is super good, and has super styley decor, but it's also pretty expensive for what you get. I look forward to the rooftop opening up and I'm stoked for the street food area that will be where the garage is now. However, with the entrees set in the mid to high twenties, I will most likely be doing more drinking here than anything else.

Ole!

La Urbana

661 Divisadero St

WHICH ISN'T TO SAY THAT ALL OF THE PIECES INSTALLED BY ABSOLUT LAST WEEKEND SUCKED. Some were undoubtedly stronger than others, which is always the case with this sort of thing. Also, I don't want to rip on someone else's creativity completely, since I'm no Warhol m'self...

BUT COME ON. Absolut's Open Canvas project was/is a total bust, and I feel it can be boiled down to the simple fact that it was served up as a steamy pile of false pretense. We were told there'd be murals and, ultimately, there were a bunch of large scale posters hung up around Divisadero. True, the yarn piece on the side of Alouis Radiators was pretty cool, and I hope the living wall thing stays up, too (both pictured below). But as you can see from the first image, the potential epicenter of this whole thing was really just phoned in as a large tarp. Although the image itself is cool, hanging something like this in lieu of actually painting on a wall (which, by the way, was painted completely white in preparation), is the street art equivalent of rollerblading.

Yarn Bombin' on Grove

Easy Livin' on Divis

AND OH, THE HUBUB! I walked around Saturday, ready to brown bag it and take in 'the scene', but was both disappointed and confused by all the folks with cameras and such acting like something spontaneous and awesome was happening. In fact, I felt like I was in some hipster Truman Show where the whole cast of characters was busying themselves only for the second I walked by. Ironically, this wasn't far from the truth, since the majority of the artsy types recording the experience were shipped in by the Big 'A in order to document their new found reach in the 21-35 demographic. 

In short, I feel duped, but I should have known better in the first place. These types of endeavors can't be forced, and they certainly shan't be used to hock the wares of multinational corporations. They also said they'd keep direct branding to a minimum but, lo and behold:

Nice, try guys. I'm  a whiskey man myself.

Good day.

-Stephen Jackson

IT TOOK A WHILE, BUT EVERYONE’S FAVORITE PAN-MEDITERANEAN HAUNT HAS RETURNED. I recently sat down with owner Salim Nasser and bar manager Zack Taylor over a couple of bites and libations, and I can safely say that the place has retained the same comfortable, low-key feel throughout the process of its classy face-lift. Everything I tried was super on-point and I even got to learn about Ziryab himself, who, if you didn’t already know, was pretty much the coolest dude in the Mediterranean region from 789 to 851 AD.

A real jack of all trades, this guy was a musician, a teacher, a culinary expert, a fashion designer, and a poet—and that’s only scratching the surface. He came from Iraq and traveled pretty much everywhere, although he spent the majority of his time in southern Spain. He revolutionized the Oud (an instrument from waaay back) by adding a fifth string, brought asparagus to Europe and is credited with the introduction of the three-course meal as well as the idea of the use of tablecloths. It’s also said that he pretty much introduced the first fork. And the use of toothpaste. And the idea of the seasonal clothing line. Sheesh. Talk about making the rest of us look bad. He’s like a medieval Jay-Z! Regardless, it’s important to learn a little bit about the place’s namesake because a great deal of care was put into weaving the story of Ziryab himself, as well as the Mediterranean region, into both the cuisine and their brand-spankin’ new cocktail menu.

To illustrate this point, let’s take a look at the very tasty 5th String. Consisting of Bulleit Rye, pineapple gomme, lime, fresh mint and Arak, this punch-packing sourish whiskey cocktail really shows the thought Zach Taylor placed in creating a drink menu representative of Ziryab himself. The name refers to the extra string he added to the Oud. Also, mint was a predominant herb used throughout the Mediterranean. Additionally, the use of Arak, a super-strong (100 proof) Ouzo-like liquor from Lebanon is a further nod to the region. When I asked Zach what the pineapple was all about, he smiled and told me it’s the universal symbol for hospitality. All told, its a really great drink to have at night, or in the sunshine on their newly made-over patio.

Next, I tried the La Relacion, which was just as good and came with an equally informative explanation of its ingredients. A pisco-based cocktail that also includes Amontillado Sherry, Aperol, Campari, cardamom tincture, and a lemon peel, this drink is also pretty boozy but brings with it a slightly bitter, peppery finish. Once again, I was gladly schooled on the significance of its contents (WARNING: this one gets even nerdier). First, the grapes used in many types of Pisco are of Spanish varietals which, in fact, are descendants from the Middle East. Next, the addition of Amontillado Sherry is a direct reference to the Al-Anadalus region of Spain where Ziryab spent a large chunk of his time being awesome. The Aperol is from Italy and furthermore, the whole drink is kind of a riff on a Negroni, which serves as a double shout-out to the boot shaped heavy hitter of the ancient seas. Another great drink with another well-placed narrative behind it. All their cocktails will run you 10 bucks. True, it’s a bit steeper than those five dollar happy hour Manhattans, but if you’re in the market for a fancy drink, it’s well worth the price.

At this point I had worked up an, er, appetite (read: I needed something to soak up my “history lesson”) so I ordered the Monterrey Sardine ($11). It’s prepared in the Moroccan “croustillontes” style over a salad of cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, avocado and dry olives. I thought it was fantastic. Nothing like a crispy, marinated fish to help wash down some classy cocktails. If you like sardines (and even if you don’t), this is not to be missed.

I wrapped everything up with an order of the Lamb Meatballs ($9). These things rule. They’re tender, seasoned perfectly and they really fill you up. Served with a harissa tomato sauce and homemade yogurt, they leave you feeling happily sated in a way only a meatball can.

And there you have it. Ziryab has returned after a too-long hiatus but it’s made up for its absence. Granted, since they are currently without a happy hour, it’s going to cost a bit more to sit and take in the world, Mediterranean-Style. However, with the thought and care put into the new menus, I feel the price points make sense when you can afford it. Regardless, the entire place has maintained the welcoming, family-owned vibe they’ve always had and I look forward to treating myself again in the near future.

-Stephen Jackson

ZIRYAB GRILL

528 Divisadero St

Open Everyday 5pm-1am

FIRST OF ALL, SORRY FOR THE LACK OF POSTING OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS. I SKIPPED TOWN, AND IT FELT REALLY GOOD. However, while on this mild hiatus, I in no way thought I'd return to the corporate blitzkrieg that Divis has become (albeit temporarily--maybe). 

Pictured above is but one of the enigmatic whitewashed walls found between Grove and Hayes. What's going on, you ask? Oh, nothing. Just a little 'strategic marketing' with the hopes of reaching 'target demos' by none other than...ABSOLUT VODKA. Mmmmm. Reminds me of, I dunno, A PARTY IN HIGH SCHOOL.

As both Sfist and Haighteration have already reported, The Divisadero Corridor has been selected as the next neighborhood to 'host' Absolut Vodka's Open Canvas campaign. Essentially, Absolut chooses a hip neighborhood with lots of potential mural spaces, contacts the right people, puts up a bunch of art installations and throws a few parties to coincide with the campaign. All this will get kicked off on August 24th, and hijinx will ensue for the following week. According to Absolut, there won't be any direct branding in the murals themselves, and the pieces will feature many local artists. Earlier this summer it was Williamsburg. Now it's us. Looks like we've finally made it on the map, people! 

Et tu, Indy? In fact, The Independent is set to host some of the parties.

NOW, IN CASE YOU COULDN'T TELL, I HAVE SOME MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING. But I'd like like to stress the word mixed. I'm all about public art, especially large scale murals. In fact, I have a friend in LA who started a company that specializes in curating projects like this and throwing large-scale art events (www.brandedarts.com). Furthermore, I understand that in order to get art up on walls, especially at this scale, someone has to foot the bill, and sometimes that happens to be a corporation. Hey, the Medici were the richest, jerkiest people in Italy during the Renaissance, but they were still the guys paying up to get all those old masters a-carvin' and a-paintin'. Trust me, I get it.

That being said, I still don't like feeling so blatantly targeted in this way, all under the guise of "artistic expression". I'm sure there was a board meeting somewhere in which a bunch of guys were sitting around wondering how to get anyone not in a sorority to drink this shit and decided to woo the tastemaker elite through "totally edgy street art". C'mon. Just man up and show me the damn beer commercial. Don't be some wolf in sheep's clothing and tug so hard on the last shrouds of individuality I've got left.

Then again, all of these art installations will probably be pretty cool, and business owners will have the option of taking them down after a week (Absolut will return and restore the wall to its original state), so it's not like we're getting a permanent Apple logo tattooed on our proverbial ass. Furthermore, the events themselves will be ragers and you know everyone will show either way (there are two scheduled at the soon to be open La Urbana and two at The Independent). I mean, if these Fat Cats are going to powerwash me in free Vodka, I'll at least "check out the scene for a bit to see what it's all about".

DAMNIT! They got me.

SO I READ THE BLOGS AND EVERYONE TOLD ME THAT LA URBANA WAS GOING TO OPEN TODAY (AUGUST 14TH). Boy did I have egg on my face when I showed up with my Mezcal mug and nobody was there to greet me!

No biggie. I actually got to chat briefly with Ben Klein, the very cool executive chef of Divisadero's most anticipated new restaurant. He said that there have been some logistical issues they've needed to sort out and are now slated to officially open on September 4th.   Jeez. There I was thinking that opening a huge new restaurant in San Francisco was easy. Who knew?

However, it wasn't all for naught. Ben let me into the joint for the latest sneak peak of what will surely be a new neighborhood staple. As you can see below, the place looks proper.

So yeah. I'm sure we'll all be spending some time here come the Indian Summer. Ole!

THERE’S A GREAT THING HAPPENING DOWN ON EDDY AND DIVISADERO.  Well, it’s actually been going on for the past seven months, but opportunities are really starting to sprout up.

Neighbors Developing Divisadero, an awesome local organization that’s also involved in saving and restoring The Harding Theatre, has partnered with the New Liberation Church  in order to expand and revitalize their existing community garden.

Since November, do-gooder Amy Farah Weiss has been exercising her green thumb in the space and has already spruced it up significantly and harvested a multitude of vegetables. The fruits of their labor have so far been distributed in a fairly willy-nilly fashion to members of the community, but all that’s about to change.

I recently attended a community planning meeting for the garden in which many new directions for the garden were discussed. First off, they have partnered with Ross Hansen and John Matthew Francis from Streetstage SF, a design firm that has built several parklets around the city. They have taken on the project Pro Bono, and presented two prospective plans for the new garden to the community panel. Their designs were based on information gleaned from a community survey that assessed desired uses for the space. Their findings included increased space for planting, a community stage, room for art installations and an overall more aesthetically pleasing and welcoming environment. Essentially, the idea is to convert a currently underused place into a more vibrant community hub that is at once functional, educational and recreational. In order to make these goals a reality, Neighbors Developing Divisadero will be applying for the SF Community Challenge Grant, and Supervisor London Breed’s aide, Vallie Brown, has agreed to pen a letter pledging their support and approval of the project.

All in all he meeting went very well, and there are already many community members on board at various different levels, but they need your assistance! The easiest way to help out is to fill out their survey, which can be found here. There is still a lot up in the air with regards to how the food will be grown (private bed vs. communal beds) and how it will be distributed and to whom. Currently, they plan to share the food with nearby community members and the church itself, but there is lots of room for further input. They are also exploring educational opportunities for nearby schools and are interested in hosting community-wide events in the future.

To reiterate the farming metaphor, this place is a literal bed of opportunity, waiting for the community to help its growth. If you are interested in helping on any level, including the design process, the creation of art installations, the production of events, the philanthropic aspect or (obviously) the gardening itself, start by filling out the survey! You can also contact Amy directly at [email protected].

On a parting note, don’t forget to check out the garden at the next Divisadero Art Walk on August 15th. They will be showing some art and showcasing some recent harvests from the garden.  It’s a little off the beaten path, so tell your friends and help support a great organization and a project that’s ripe with opportunity.

APPROACHING THE CORNER OF HAYES AND DIVISDERO, I SENSED SOMETHING WAS AMISS.  Had I traveled back in time? Had I been relegated to the position of a serf, clamoring for recognition in the eyes of a monarch? I soon realized, however, that it was present day and I had merely stumbled upon the lands of the one and only KING KOBBLER.

He wouldn't give me his name, but man, was he smooth. The King has been living in the neighborhood--over on Pierce Street--since 1951. He's also a professional blues player by the name of "Big Bones", and he plays every other Wednesday over at the Royal Cuckoo in Bernal Heights. In fact, after our encounter I put it together that I had seen him play there a while ago and trust me, he's the real deal. Upon further investigation I actually learned he is something of a local blues legend that's playing around San Francisco since the seventies.

The fact that King Kobbler/Big Bones is a blues harmonica player really makes sense when you hear him tell the story of why he started pushing cobbler. According to him, he went on tour in Europe back in '08 and upon his return, his wife and daughter had left him. However, he was able to regain full custody of his daughter until 2012 when the courts "jacked" her from him (his words). That night, The King went home and made a whole pan of some of his famous cobbler and took it to the dome. As he sat, the realization came to him: "Man, I can share this." Although the first time he sold a pan was back in '83--crazy times--and he's dabbled a bit over the years, King Kobbler has only been doing business as such since November. So, yeah. The story behind the cobbler reads like the bars of a blues song, and to hear him tell it is downright captivating.

Now, as for the cobbler, I suggest you try some yourself. I'm not personally much of a cobblerman, so I don't feel myself to be an accurate judge. He had many varieties for sale for $5.00 a piece, including peach, mixed berry, apple and pecan. If you want to track him down, the easiest way to do so is to check his Facebook page or follow him on twitter @kingkobbler. He sets up shop in his Kobblermoblie all over the city. His updates are pretty tripped out too, referring to followers as "kobblertrons" and "citizens of kobblertropolis". It's for sure worth following.

And definitely don't sleep on his bi-monthly performances at The Royal Cuckoo (where Valencia meets Mission Street in Bernal). The bar itself is a real gem and Big Bones plays a real mean harp.