The Cool Bean

When I think about quitting I hear her. Ana with her tempting tone, made of silk and something comforting.

She says~

"You can pretend

you don't crave me,

darling.

As if I'm a drug

running through your viens

But I know

you crave

the euphoria.

You crave

the dizziness.

The way it whispers,

'You're doing it right.'

The way it says,

'Good job.'

-Because no one else

ever did.

You can pretend

you don't miss

the restless

three a.m. nights.

The ones

where exhaustion

feels like victory.

Your mind is foggy the the floor seems to move to your breath

You're ontop of the world

Because you are

finally in control.

Not them

You can pretend

you don't slip up

every now and then...

When you say

"thats too much money"

When you meant to say calories.

You need me darling

When you're fat,

no one seems to care

when you say,

"I haven't eaten today,"

and it's already nine at night.

-They're all thinking,

She could stand to skip a few meals anyway..

But when it's nine at night

and you're skinny,

"I haven't eaten today"

suddenly becomes an emergency.

They're searching for somewhere to eat.

Their phone screens glowing with

"Restaurants nearby" typed into google.

They're asking if you're okay. Looking at you

with gazes of pure concern.

They're reminding you to eat. "I know you get

distracted. But you need food!"

(as if your hunger only became real

once your body became small enough

fuck hot girl summer - im waiting in skinny girl autumn - 🪽🍂