Mx. Jester

[Admin F sighs for a really long time, before cranking the reverse and very very slowly backing into the parking lot. The guy behind them is really mad. He's thrown 2 or 3 empty cans of water at the ship.]

Barney: KLEINER! What the hell's goin' on here? What's with the getup? And the ship? And- how'd you find GORDON?!

Player: Hi! You know Gordon-?

Admin F: I'm not Kleiner. I'm not... your Kleiner. I'm from... the future. The distant future. For the... timeline to mend itself, I'm telling you now... You need to look out. The arrival of the One Free Man is imminent. He's coming to SAVE humanity.

Barney: ...And you're tellin' me this in the McDonald's drive-thru becaaause...?

[F pulls up to the next window. The employee working there pauses. They... slowly reach up to take off their Metrocop's mask.]

Barney: ...Kleiner?

Admin F: ...

Admin F: WELL, he's not PAPA-ing his PIZZERIA right!

Swap: WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Swap: THIS PAPA MUST PAY!

[As Benrey is working on taking care of his little fishies, Swap takes the mouse and opens up Papa's Pizzeria.]

Swap: I'M TAKING YOUR ASS TO COURT!

Gordon B: Hey guys, what're we-

Swap: Now who is Papa...? Why does he have so many restaurants? What the actual fuck... is a Cupcakeria?

Player: Hold on- Benrey, feed the guppies!!

Gordon B: FINE. TYPE IN YOUR DEVIL WEBSITE. I'M GONNA BE IN THIS CORNER BACK HERE!

[Benrey, still curious about how fast the computer runs, is typing in Coolmathgames as we speak. It gets him the site very quickly!]

Benrey: man, if the others could see this... s'kinda scary how fast it goes...

Swap: ...Okay- this site says "Cool MATH games". Where's the math?

Gordon B: Hey, there you go, bud! How's that feeling?

Benrey: ...

Admin F: No way! It's just because we had a super-genius scientist on this ship with us! Here! I'll show you all what I was WORKING on yesterday evening! And how GOD DAMN smart I am!

[He puts out a hand, looking at Gordon B expectantly.]

Gordon B: Uh- High five-?

Admin F: Your necklace, Nimrod. I figured out how to get Benrey back onto a PC.

Gordon B: Oh. Uh. Benrey, do you want to...?

Benrey: wha- c'mon- i thought we were getting along-! don't put me back! i've been good! i've behaved!-

Admin P: Ah- no, no, it's not permanent! You can enter and leave at any time you want! The group of us just figured it looked a little... cramped? In that necklace...?

Benrey: ...

Gordon B: What the fuck is a YouTube? Do we all get our own personal tubes?!

Benrey: "tube" like "tv", i think.

Admin P: Ah-! Yes. We'd been... stalling for so long that we nearly forgot what we had to update you all on.

Admin F: I've got the ship on autopilot, following a course to your universe, Swap. There, we'll unfreeze your timeline, and introduce you to your player, a Mr.-

[Swap puts his hand up.]

Swap: DON'T!

Swap: Uh- don't. Tell me what their real name is. I wanna hear it from them.

Admin F: Okay- well- I don't want to fucking call them "your Benrey". Give me something to work with here.

Swap: You can use his... last name?

Admin F: Works for me. We're headed to the Bushnell household.

[Benrey looks over at the Admins, who have been awkwardly grabbing beanbag chairs for themselves during that whole bit.]

Benrey: ...guess i'd get it more than anything. the longer you spend alone, the easier it gets to see people as... uh... not people.

Benrey: sucks.

Benrey: i guess i'm kinda miffed about all the stuff they did, but gordon's, like, prolly a little miffed at all the stuff i did, too...

Gordon B: Look, we're working through it-

Benrey: but, y'know. i'm, like... rooting for you guys.