rocket surgery @thecatwhisperer - Tumblr Blog

Thank you for agreeing to take the Pre-Employment Assessment Test. Please answer all questions as truthfully as you can.

QUESTION 1: Your wife, the mother of your children, is drowning. You have a life preserver. However, a customer requires your assistance. What do you do?

QUESTION 2: A man has been caught stealing from the company and he is currently awaiting execution. You are the executioner. Do you pull the trigger?

QUESTION 3: Which sentence best describes yourself?

- I have clinical depression.

- I’m ready to be productive!

QUESTION 4: Which sentence best describes yourself?

- I try to do things to the best of ability.

- I am willing to bleed for you.

QUESTION 5: Are you afraid to die?

nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear

Retail Gothic

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eroticmoss

I honestly just wish I could spend all day cuddling with these ham bones

witchtaunter

I finally got them

My Christmas holiday summed up fairly well

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My therapist, discussing my obsessive compulsive/anxiety behaviors: so getting up out of a dead sleep to double check the locks on the door, do you think that's a symptom of your compulsions, or your anxiety?

Me: I think it's a symptom of living on the east side.

My therapist: well, that's fair.

#eastside #indianapolis

One of my best friends got married and I have never loved her more or felt happier for her. You were the most beautiful bride lizzy bear.

debbie-sketch

D.Va

butchdarry-deactivated20180612

the greatest skill a woman can learn for herself is self reliance

butchdarry-deactivated20180612

to clarify … so many strong women in my life rely on men. that dependence is dangerous. ladies here are some good ref resources I’ve found helpful on my journey towards self reliance

automobile

changing coolant

changing oil

changing tire

jumping a car

plumbing

toilet running

basement flooding

replace a faucet

clogged drain

electrical

replacing light switches

blew a fuse

installing overhead light

earth vs. neutral vs. live wires

home

patching drywall

finding studs

this list is in no way comprehensive feel free to add on

nerdgul

a lot of ‘man things’ are a lot easier than you think they are. especially considering the fact that most of these things when buying the parts come with directions on the packaging that men usually don’t even look at (and often end up doing it wrong because they were taught by fathers who also did not look at the packaging).

like i recently had to change my car battery and freaked out cause i thought id electrocute myself but turns out new batteries come with directions and its the easiest shit in the world so long as you can lift the damn thing.

so yeah, ladies dont ever feel like a man is a necessity for life, you can do this shit on your own its easier than you think!

australiansanta

god how fukin tight was it rearranging your room when you were younger and it feeling like a different space and you’d show your parents and they’d be like wow very nice and you’d be like FUCK yes new room new me i’m gonna put these pillows and fluffy animals back on my bed every fukin morning from now on and like that night you can barely sleep cause you’re so excited to be sleeping in ur new room layout and then the novelty wears off and you go back to your messy self idk or was that just me

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whenharrymetsallys

amazing content from phillip henry

upkayac

ace-aro-fandroid

So we got an Amazon Echo and we changed the wake word to “Computer” and now I feel like I’m on the Enterprise all the time. Additionally, whenever I watch Star Trek, she only responds to “computer” when Data says it and it’s kind of adorable. Not Picard, not La Forge, not Troi, not Dr. Crusher, not Riker. Not anyone but Data. The other night Data asked his Computer what the time was and my Computer told him it was 10:47. Watching Star Trek is even more fun now

catgirldick

Ur echo has a crush

gnjoneswriter

On an android

sosuperawesome

Modern Male Witch Project, by Brenna-Ivy on Tumblr and Society6

strangelfreak

love these !!! Brenna is fucking amazing !

lovefortv

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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ecstaticoblivion

james-winston

The Titanoboa, is a 48ft long snake dating from around 60-58million years ago. It had a rib cage 2ft wide, allowing it to eat whole crocodiles, and surrounding the ribcage were muscles so powerful that it could crush a rhino. Titanoboa was so big it couldn’t even spend long amounts of time on land, because the force of gravity acting on it would cause it to suffocate under its own weight.

laurdlannister-kingslayer

I’m so glad they aren’t around

vitressence-deactivated20150307

omg me too. I’m scared enough of 26 ft long anacondas. I’m so happy Megalodons, those giant sharks, aren’t alive either

laurdlannister-kingslayer

Praise natural selection

poppypicklesticks-blog

I remember watching Walking with Beasts or something similar, or some British tv show about evolution

The subject was something like a 12 foot long water scorpion

I was so startled by its sudden appearance and narration that I yelped: “12 fucking feet?!?! I’m fucking glad it’s extinct!”

silvermoon424

Dude, prehistory was home to some fucking TERRIFYING creatures. For some reason, everything back then was enormous and scary. Extinction doesn’t always have to be a bad thing!

And Poppy, what you saw was an arthropod known as Pterygotus (it was actually featured in Walking With Monsters). Not only was it as big (or maybe even bigger) than your average human, it had a stinger the size of a lightbulb. REALLY glad that bugger isn’t around anymore.

Also, Megalodon deserves to be mention again, because just hearing its name makes me want to never be submerged in water ever again.

sashayed

GOD, I HATE THIS POST. HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THAT SHIT ISN’T STILL AROUND? LURKING? EVOLVING? WE DON’T. WE DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT DOWN THERE. THE OCEAN IS A PRIMEVAL HELLSCAPE NIGHTMARE AND WE ALL JUST DIP OUR STUPID FRAGILE UNPROTECTED FETUS BODIES AROUND THE EDGES OF IT LIKE THAT’S NORMAL. FUCK THE OCEAN.

honey-andrevolution

this is so relevant to my interests

siphersaysstuff

It wasn’t just the predators. North Carolina was once home to giant ground sloths…

THAT IS A GODDAMNED LEAF-EATING SLOTH.

We’ve got a skeleton of one of these fuckers at the museum downtown, and man, just being NEAR it is unsettling.

anneriawings

DON’T FORGET PREHISTORIC WHALES, SOME OF THOSE FUCKERS WERE TERRIFYING

AMBULOCETUS WAS AMPHIBIOUS AND PRETTY BADASS

BASILOSAURUS WAS THIS GIANT REPTILIAN CETACEAN THAT PROBABLY SWAM LIKE A DUMB EEL BECAUSE OF ITS TINY FLUKES BUT THIS FUCKER WAS 60 FEET LONG AND AT THE TOP OF THE MARINE FOOD CHAIN

AND THEN THERE’S MY FAVORITE, ZYGOPHYSETER, WHICH WAS THIS HUGE EARLY SPERM WHALE THAT ATE SHARKS AND OTHER WHALES

IT WAS NOTHING BUT TEETH

gallizfrey

The reason why the animals in the prehistoric times were so big was because there was much more oxygen in the atmosphere if I recall correctly. Because there was so much oxygen and so few carbon gasses, life on earth was able to grow to terrifying lengths and heights, don’t forget how giant the bugs were.

shabbytigers

I have never seen so much prime nope in a single post

ororomunroedontpullout

Also important to note that megalodon is theorized to still be alive,possibly living in the darkest depths of the ocean. They haven’t found signs of its extinction

king-of-the-edge

scientists: “we haven’t seen a megalodon in quite some time now, let’s just hope it’s exstinct”

aninactivebloggfgfgf

This whole post is my JAM not gonna lie I am fascinated by massive prehistoric animals

andillwriteyouatragedy

megalodon is actually officially extinct folks

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