„Sᴇʀᴇɴᴅɪᴘɪᴛʏ“

                     “How did I ever fall in love with you?”

It’s just happened that I love you.

I love you for your job.

I love you who is not normal.

Did you have a boring morning while you were eating your bread? Or did you smoke while looking at the gray sky today as well?

I went to school. Oh, of course, I didn’t pay attention during classes I was only thinking about you.

First class, you are still sleeping.

Second class, you are probably up by now.

Third class, did you eat?

Fourth class, you are smoking perhaps.

Fifth class, I hope for a little bit of blue sky today.

I have been thinking about this all seven classes. The sky was a bit blue today. But I’m sure that in your eyes it’s still grey. The corner of my notes is covered with your name. Honestly, I think I’m using your name the most in the world. I use it a hundred times a day. Maybe, you don’t like me? Am I too bold?

Right, why did you brush my hair yesterday? Why did you have to sit next to me and stare at me like that? Why did you do that when I was upset? My ears are still burning at the image of it. I think the part of my scalp where you touched yesterday is hot. And I wanted to ask, do you have feelings? A few days ago, I told you that you are still the same. I just laughed it off then, but it felt really weird. You were similar to me when I was in high school, so I was wandering around you because you were amazing. I feel sorry for myself. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be with you. I’m sad and I look miserable. Today’s letter will never be delivered to you. I will burn it anyway, but its a waste of paper. If I write something like this, I feel better. I’m just saying. I will just say one last thing

I like you, hyung.

                       “How come you love me?”

How come you love me?

Because I love myself with this job

For loving me who is not normal

Maybe this letter won’t be delivered to you for the rest of your life. I will rip it off and throw it in the wind. Let’s pretend like we are crazy and make fun of cheap ballpoint pens that can be used just for one time. 

You know, I….fuck gangster. I don’t know what you are trying to hide from myself, but I’m a gangster. A huge bastard. 

Twenty-two, the age difference between us is five years. I don’t know why you are following me around. In my eyes, you are so much younger and pure. Uh…. you didn’t even dry your hair last night. But, I’m crazy. You are so pretty, you are so fucking pretty when I think about you. I have been staring at you for a long time, but you weren’t sleeping, arent you? Whether I was sleeping or pretending to be sleeping. I was so impulsive that I thought a lot about pretending to be drunk and kiss you or hug you. I don’t know how sweet your lips are.

Kook, don’t like me. I’m a gangster all my life, and I’m gonna die like that. I can die young. No, I will. In front of you. You are so me. I think it would hurt too much if I love you….. Fuck, I’m going to smoke.  Then I will just say one last thing,

                     “How did I ever fall in love with you?”

It’s just happened that I love you.

I love you for your job.

I love you who is not normal.

Did you have a boring morning while you were eating your bread? Or did you smoke while looking at the gray sky today as well?

I went to school. Oh, of course, I didn’t pay attention during classes I was only thinking about you.

First class, you are still sleeping.

Second class, you are probably up by now.

Third class, did you eat?

Fourth class, you are smoking perhaps.

Fifth class, I hope for a little bit of blue sky today.

I have been thinking about this all seven classes. The sky was a bit blue today. But I’m sure that in your eyes it’s still grey. The corner of my notes is covered with your name. Honestly, I think I’m using your name the most in the world. I use it a hundred times a day. Maybe, you don’t like me? Am I too bold?

Right, why did you brush my hair yesterday? Why did you have to sit next to me and stare at me like that? Why did you do that when I was upset? My ears are still burning at the image of it. I think the part of my scalp where you touched yesterday is hot. And I wanted to ask, do you have feelings? A few days ago, I told you that you are still the same. I just laughed it off then, but it felt really weird. You were similar to me when I was in high school, so I was wandering around you because you were amazing. I feel sorry for myself. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be with you. I’m sad and I look miserable. Today’s letter will never be delivered to you. I will burn it anyway, but its a waste of paper. If I write something like this, I feel better. I’m just saying. I will just say one last thing

I like you, hyung.

                       “How come you love me?”

How come you love me?

Because I love myself with this job

For loving me who is not normal

Maybe this letter won’t be delivered to you for the rest of your life. I will rip it off and throw it in the wind. Let’s pretend like we are crazy and make fun of cheap ballpoint pens that can be used just for one time. 

You know, I….fuck gangster. I don’t know what you are trying to hide from myself, but I’m a gangster. A huge bastard. 

Twenty-two, the age difference between us is five years. I don’t know why you are following me around. In my eyes, you are so much younger and pure. Uh…. you didn’t even dry your hair last night. But, I’m crazy. You are so pretty, you are so fucking pretty when I think about you. I have been staring at you for a long time, but you weren’t sleeping, arent you? Whether I was sleeping or pretending to be sleeping. I was so impulsive that I thought a lot about pretending to be drunk and kiss you or hug you. I don’t know how sweet your lips are.

Kook, don’t like me. I’m a gangster all my life, and I’m gonna die like that. I can die young. No, I will. In front of you. You are so me. I think it would hurt too much if I love you….. Fuck, I’m going to smoke.  Then I will just say one last thing,