Lana

Regulus Black especially. When he found out you got into a fight he scolded you for what felt like hours about how you had been so reckless and stupid. Evan Rosier laughed in your face when he saw the bruise and cut, and everyone else just made fun of you or didn’t talk about it. Not one friend checked in on you in the past week to see if you were okay.

Why?

Because they had found out you were hanging out with James Potter before the unfortunate event, and that the two of you had came back soaking wet. You had to admit, it did look bad, but Regulus yelling at you definitely didn’t help your already down mood.

He talked of how important it was that you spent your time with your people. He should’ve corrected himself and said his people. You never liked pureblood supremacy society, even as a child you knew how terribly misunderstanding they were.

Regulus yelling only brought back horrible memories you had as a child. You ran out into your backyard to find a treehouse on the property line, and there you had met a boy your age.

He was a mudblood— or should you correct that as a muggle? Anyways, he was incredibly kind and you often spent your days in the summer sneaking off to go play with him.

But your mom had found out when she came to check on you, she grew furious that you were hanging out with someone like him. In fact she slapped your poor little face across the cheek, and for the rest of the summer you weren’t allowed to go outside. You never saw the boy again.

You had long forgotten it by now, but with Regulus yelling and a few punches to the face to remind you exactly who you were, it all came flooding back and gave you this pain in your chest.

So again, it was best to stay away from James and what Evan called his ‘plagued point of views’ because you couldn’t risk ending things the way you did with the boy in the woods.

So every Thursday you would study in the Slytherin common room instead of the peaceful library next to James. You would avoid him in the hallway, and you would try your best to ignore his looks he shot towards you from across the room in the Great Hall during breakfast and dinner. Most definitely you would do your best not to talk to him in DADA.

But James was unsure what had happened to make you grow so cold towards him like the years before. Everything was fine in the bathroom, in fact you thanked him for helping you— yet again. He wracked his brain a million times to try and find out what exactly went wrong.

The reality of it? The years before you were so sucked into trying to be the perfect person for your parents that you despised James Potter. It’s what made them happy, what made your friends pay barely attention to your every moved and kept everyone around you safe.

The reason you had been so kind to him this year was because everything caught up to you. You were going to turn out just like your mother. Born and raised in France to be the perfect wife, bore children to your father. Sat around the large house and looked pretty, only spoke when she was spoken to. But she was sad, felt hopeless and like her life had been wasted. In fact, it made her grow to resent you and your sister. That’s probably why she hit you in the woods all those years ago, you were everything she wanted to be but couldn’t have.

You took a deep breath, clutching onto your book and screwed your eyes shut. You wished your mind could just be quiet about your past for just one hour, long enough to get through this class and run to your next. You opened your eyes and walked through the door, sitting down next to James.

He looked up from his gaze, he had been staring aimlessly at it for multiple minutes. He had been early to class everyday for the past week because for some reason he wanted to be there before you. Wanted to read your emotions as you sat down next to him.

For the entire week you were on his mind every second of every single day. Remus and Sirius had noticed it. Remus knew why, but Sirius was still in the dark. The words of Remus at the beginning of the year crossing his mind every single time Sirius asked him why he was so down in the dumps all of the sudden.

‘Better not tell Sirius, he’d get pissed if he found out you like a girl like Y/N.’

It actually pissed him off that Sirius had suck strong feeling towards someone he didn’t know, or maybe he did from his past. That, James was unsure of. But despite it all, everything the two had been through together, Sirius had this control over James because on many many accounts he would tell James how much he hated purebloods. Purebloods like you.

“Y/N.” James spoke to you even after you had ignored him for a week. He still tried.

“What do you want now?” you snapped, he furrowed his eyebrows. Well— some mean words were better than none.

“Can we talk?” he asked, more like begged but he would never admit that out loud to anyone.

The professor started talking about an upcoming test they would have to take, drawing both of their attention to the front of the class. James slowly looked back over at you, but your gaze remained forwards.

“Please?” he whispered and you looked over at James.

“Stop.” you whispered back, you wanted to plea with him to just leave you alone. That it was the best for the both of you.

You knew what your whole life looked like. You’d graduate from Hogwarts, get married to someone like Evan Rosier or Regulus Black, and live the same miserable life like your mom did. You came to the conclusion that you would have to learn to be okay with that, and James was making it incredibly difficult.

It was the same with Lily Evans you were sure, how he pestered her every moment he got the chance to. It was like he had a crush on you or something— Merlin, did he have a crush on you?

You turned to look at him with widened eyes. Lily Evans sat right in front of him, and even though you hadn’t spoken to him he was still looking at you, not Lily. He asked you to hang out with him by the lake that fateful afternoon. He had chased after you when the fight was over, not Lily. It was like the pieces were falling into place.

“Miss. Y/L/N, Mr. Potter.” the professor snapped your gaze to the front of the classroom. The entire lecture turned to face the two of you. Everyone, including Evan.

“Is there something you would like to share with the class?” she questioned. You looked over at James with shock on your eyes and he shook his head.

“No ma’am, sorry.” he apologized, then looked at you as if he was waiting for you to say something, absolutely anything so that you wouldn’t get in trouble. You were already in a weird mood, it would likely make it worse.

You stood up from from your seat, clearing your throat. “I don’t feel good, may I be excused?” you asked and the professor raised her eyebrows, then sighed in disappointment. She nodded.

You quickly grabbed your things before leaving the room. “Potter, will you go with her and make sure she gets to her dorm alright?” the woman asked and he widened his eyes. This was his chance to talk to you.

“Yes!” he stood up. “Yeah— yeah of course.” he corrected as to not seem to excited and ruin his chance. He didn’t even bother to grab his things before running after you. Remus would get them and bring them to him later.

He ran down the hallway to catch up with you, you heard his footsteps and sighed quietly, closing your eyes. Flashes of memories of him chasing you after your altercation with lily forced their way into your mind.

“Y/N!” he called and you flipped around.

“Please leave me alone, James.” you put your hand up and shook your head.

“What? What’s wrong with you?” James questioned, offended that even now you didn’t want to talk to him. “You know you can’t avoid me forever.” he exclaimed.

“Yes I can, and I will.” you nodded your head, your voice dripping with venom. You turned to walk away but he grabbed your arm and you immediately pulled away.

“Stop, please!” you begged and he stared at you confused.

“What did I do wrong?” he snapped.

“James, I’m serious.” you shook your head.

“No, I’m serious! Everything was fine last week, everything was completely fine and then the next day— no the entire week you’ve been avoiding me. You’ve been cold towards me!” James grated through his teeth.

“Why did you defend me in class? Why did you ask me to the lake and why did you chase after me instead of Evans?” you questioned and he stared down at you.

“Y/N, I—” he stopped himself, but you knew.

“James, please don’t do this to me, okay?” you pleaded. “You don’t understand what my family would do to me— to you— if they found out someone like you has a crush on me.” she explained. “You’re a really good guy, too good for me. So please, I’m begging you right now to just pretend like we never knew each other.” you instructed.

James started down at you as tears filled your eyes. “Why are you crying?” he asked.

“Because you’re good. I’m not and that’s not fair to you.” you shrugged.

“Who told you that you weren’t good?” his face contorted into confusion. You sighed, looking away and stuck your tongue in your cheek.

“When I was a kid I secretly met up with a muggle in the woods every day during the summer. When my mom found out she—” you paused. “I never saw him again. I can’t do that again.” you replayed the moment she slapped you for the first time over and over in your head, then the times she hit you after that. You closed your eyes tightly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, stepping closer. You stepped back. He had noticed something was off.

“Stop that, stop being nice to me.” you yelled at him.

“Y/N..” he whispered.

“Please just go away.” you through your book to the ground and he jumped back.

“What’s wrong?” he repeated his question from earlier.

“Stop asking me what’s wrong— I don’t know what’s— nothings wrong!” you shook your head. He stepped forward and hugged you, tears now streaming down your face.

“It’s okay.” he reassured you. You cried, wrapping your arms around him. Another moment of affection you so deserved but never received. Not until you had met him. “Relax.” he instructed and you let out a sob. Your breathing was labored, he could feel it through the hug.

There had been many times Remus or Sirius had a panic attack, by now he could recognize the signs of them. The buildup to it. He knew you were bound to breakdown the second you left the classroom. “Calm down, and breath.” he said softly. You took in a deep shaky breath. James pulled away from the hug and held onto your upper arms, scanning your upset face as you looked down at the ground to focus on your breathing.

“I don’t know what’s happening to me.” you looked up at him and he shook his head, hugging you again. After a couple minutes you had finally calmed down.

“Do you want to go to your dorm?” he questioned and you nodded. The walk there was silent. All James could think about was what you told him. He knew your family was awful, but he thought of everyone as an equal. Which meant he expected you to be just as cruel as they were, it’s what he assumed when you hadn’t talked to him.

What he didn’t assume was what you had been through at home. It must’ve gotten worse over the summer, that’s what triggered you to be so different from them. Fear that you would turn out just like the rest. That’s why he had noticed you on the train. You were happy because you were finding freedom.

But it’s only a matter of time after finding said freedom that your mind started to pick out everything terrible that happened to get you where you were. The happiness fades and is replaced with uncertainty, guilt and sadness. The freedom lasts, but the happiness stays for only so long.

It’s what happened to Sirius, his mind had been so closed off for years that when he finally had time to sit back and relax, not having to worry about what his mom and dad were going to do next, he started to think about what they had already done.

The mind could only take so much before it begins to crack. His mind started to burst at the seams a couple of months into living with the Potters, for you it had only taken a week.

“Favorite, huh?” he questioned and you nodded with a small smile on your face, looking down at the dark water and tucking your hair behind your ear.

The two of you sat in silence, the sound of the water crashing against the dock filling your ears. It wasn’t awkward either, in fact you enjoyed where you were— just as you were. It was comfortable. Despite your immense fear of the water below.

You lived in the Slytherin common room, you saw the depths of it and the sirens through the window, they looked beautiful but ever so terrifying. You couldn’t help but think of one reaching up through the water, grabbing onto your legs and pulling you in.

“So why didn’t you ask Lily?” you asked, you were curious as to why James Potter asked you before he asked the girl he was so head over heels for.

“Because I wanted to ask you.” he shrugged, his legs kicking back and forth like a little kid.

“Come on, James. You’ve been in love with that girl since first year, everyone knows that. Today was the perfect opportunity to hang out with her.” you looked over at him, but he kept his gaze at the murky water. “I mean I saw her sitting alone in the courtyard on my way over here.” you explained.

“Mm, I’m sure Severus found her.” he replied casually. You bit the inside of your cheek. The past six years at Hogwarts him and his friends relentlessly bullied the boy for a reason you assumed was because Snape was in love with her but James was too, and James just had to have her.

“I know James Potter is not giving up on Evans.” you laughed and he shook his head. “So who’s the lucky girl?” you asked and he looked up quickly.

“What?”

“There has to be some new mysterious girl you have your eyes on, otherwise you’d be pestering Evans right now.” you explained your comment seconds ago.

He stared at you for a moment, his face still and expressionless, which made your face go red and looked down. “Sorry, I’m prying too much.” you shook your head.

“No you’re not.” he shook his head. “The new girl is a secret, I’ll never tell.” he smiled mischievously.

“Ahh.” you nodded, your words breathless. “Secret meetings in the broom closet kind of girl then?” you teased and he rolled his eyes.

“Definitely not.” he scoffed and looked back at the water. “I’m not sure she even likes me.”

“Since when has that stopped you?” you commented.

“Since now!” he defended.

“Okay, okay. Since now then, I guess.” you acknowledged his uncomfortable demeanor.

“I don’t know, she’s not like any other girl i’ve liked.” he dived deeper. You looked at him with a settled expression.

“I’m sure she’s great.”

Silence, but this time it was awkward. James sucked in a deep breath, looking back at the water. He had anxiety in his chest, he wanted so badly to tell you how he felt then and there but ultimately decided it would be too quick, and he didn’t want whatever you and him had to be quick. He wanted to take his time, ease into things. You seemed like the type of person to scare easy. He would be patient, though.

“So are you just afraid of water or can you actually not swim?” he teased and you scoffed.

“I can’t swim.” you shook your head with a smile on your face.

His hand reached around your back, gliding across it and you looked over at him with furrowed brows. Despite the confusion, you would say you didn’t mind the touching. His touch was gentle and soft.

One hand grabbed your upper arm, the other doing the same to the opposite. He pushed you forward, but not fully. Only to psych you out. You gasped out in fear, your eyes screwed shut. But you remained dry and above the water.

You pried yourself from his grip and stood up, looking down at him angrily. “That wasn’t funny!” you yelled as he laughed.

“You should’ve seen your face!” he gasped through his words through the latter, his hand holding his stomach. You stared at him, not even phased. “Come on, you have to admit that was a little funny!” he defended, his hands going up on the air like he was presenting a case.

“You suck.” you started walking down the dock but your foot slipped on a wet patch on the dock, not to mention it was already slippery, and your body came crashing down into the water. Your arms flailed about, the only thing you could see in your eyes was water washing around you, you couldn’t breath.

James quickly stood, didn’t even hesitate take a second to take off his shoes or his shirt, and jumped in after you. He swam down just a few feet and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you to the surface of the water. You both gasped for air.

James swam over to the dock and you placed you hands on the edge. He pulled himself up, sitting back and grabbed your wrist, pulling you up. You took a second to breath, laying your back against the dock. Your body was shaking, so was his. From the cold water no doubt.

“You— you saved me.” you breathed heavily and he nodded, swallowing.

“I told you I would.” he looked down at you. He noticed your lips were blue and you were shaking. James immediately leaved over you, grabbing your shoulder. “Are you okay?” he questioned and you nodded, him helping you lean up.

“We should get inside, you’re freezing!” he stated, both of you standing up and walking back towards the castle. You both were soaked and trudging up the hill and into the courtyard.

Of course Lily Evans was still there, sitting with her friends and looking as perfect as ever. You sighed as she stared at your soaked form. She giggled, whispering in one of her friends ear.

“If you have something to say Evans, just say it.” you rolled your eyes, looking at her. James stood behind you. Where did this sudden aggression come from?

“I just think it’s funny you’re running off with James now.” she shrugged, this smug smirk on her face. She knew exactly what she was doing.

“Running off?” you asked, offended.

“Yeah. You come back to seventh year all pretty and now you think you can get any guy you want? It’s just typical for people like you—” Lily commented.

“Are you jealous Evans?” you shot back. “Tell me, does it give you pleasure to deny James over and over again only to suddenly get possessive over him just because he’s finally moved on?” Lily’s mouth fell open, standing from her sitting position on the grass. “News flash, me and James are not a thing.” you crossed your arms.

‘Ouch.’ James thought.

“That’s what a slut would say, wouldn’t it?” Lily pushed her anger further. It didn’t take another word from her for you to swing at her and land a punch on her jaw. Lily stumbled back, holding her face and looking up in anger. “You’re on.”

Lily stepped towards you quickly, enough to catch you off guard and punch you straight on the lip. Your hand reached up to gently touch your lips, pulling away to see blood. You only scoffed, running towards her and shoving her to the ground. You landed a punch on her eyebrow, she grabbed your arms and flipped the two of you around. One punch straight on your cheek bone, hard enough to bruise it for sure. Then another across your nose, blood immediately dripping from it.

“Stop!” James ran forward, dragging Lily off of you. She fought back but he held her in place. You quickly stood up, fixing your clothes before walking off.

“What the hell got into you, Lily?” he asked, letting her go. She stared at him in shock.

“Are you kidding? You’ve been at my feet for yours and now you’re mad that I’m fighting for you?” she questioned angrily. “Some things are worth fighting for James.” she crossed her arms.

“Not anymore.” he shook his head, looking at her with disappointment written all over his face.

“You’re wasting your time with her, you know that? Even if you’re just friends.” Lily warned. “She’s the girl who is ruthless, remember? I mean look at her family!” Lily explained.

“She’s not like them.” James shook his head.

“And how do you know that?” she asked. James stayed quiet. “No, don’t go quiet now. Give me one good reason why.” she pushed. James flipped around and ran inside, down the hall and towards you.

“Wait!” he called but you kept walking.

“Go run back to your girlfriend, Potter.” you said his last name just like before you guys knew each other, really knew each other.

“She’s not— Y/N wait!” he grabbed your arm and flipped you around. You had a cut on your lip and your cheek was a dark red. You had blood dripping from your nose and down your face, onto your neck. He scanned your face with worry.

“Stop looking at me like that.” you pulled your arm away.

“Like what?” he asked.

“Like I’m some basket case, your next person to fix.” you shook your head, tears in your eyes. Unsure if it was because of what you thought he was thinking or because your nose hurt so damn bad.

“I’m looking at you like you just got into a fist fight and you’re hurt.” he explained.

“I’m fine.” you went to turn away but he grabbed your arm. You looked down at his hand, the grip it had, and then back up at him in shock. No one, not even your friends were kind enough to stick around this long.

“Let me help you.” he whispered. “Please, let me help you.” he reiterated. You looked down.

“Fine.” you agreed.

The two of you walked to the bathroom, him instructing you to sit on the counter top. He grabbed a small hand towel and got it wet with warm water. You held your nose, tears now streaming down your face.

“Let me see.” he asked.

“I think my nose is broken.” you whispered.

His hand gently reached up to grab your wrist, your hand pulled away and he looked at it. Yet he didn’t let go of your wrist.

“It looks okay.” he nodded, his free hand reaching up with the damp towel and started to wipe the blood from your neck, lips and under your nose. You winced every once in a while, but eventually you were all cleaned up.

He went to put the towel away but you whispered something that made him stop in his tracks.

“Thank you..” you said so gently and it almost made his heart break then and there.

“Always.” he nodded, then pulled himself away from his gaze and threw the towel in the bin when the door flew open. Both James and you jumped at the suddenly loud sound.

“Did you hear? Lily Evans and Y/N Y/L/N got into a—” Remus said out of breath but stopped once he saw you. “Holy shit!” he gasped, looking at your wounds.

You scoffed. “You should see the other guy.” you joked.

“No kidding.” he said in shocked, inspecting your face. Remus looked over at James who was wiping his hand.

“What was it about?” he asked, turning back towards you.

“Evans called me a slut for hanging out with James.” you shrugged.

“Are you— you know— a slut?” he asked curiously. James hit his arm. “Ow! What? I’m only asking.” he defended.

“We’re just friends.” you smiled with tired eyes.

Throughout the day he found himself searching the crowd of incoming students to find you, just as he did for Lily all these years. All he could think to himself was how he had wasted the past six years pining after a girl who didn’t even look in his direction when you were right there.

“James, who are you looking for?” Sirius asked as they sat in the Great Hall for dinner.

“Hm?” James looked over, being pulled from his thoughts while he looked over the Slytherin table a million times and still couldn’t seem to find you. “Oh— no one.” he shook his head.

“Liar.” Remus smirked, looking down at his food which made James furrow his eyebrows in response.

“Excuse me?” He laughed a bit, trying to cover up the fact this his friends were onto him.

“By this time every year you’re sat next to Lily Evans flirting with the poor girl, so why are you sitting with us and looking at the—” Sirius took a moment to follow his previous line of sight. “the Slytherin table?” he found himself shocked with what he found, his mouth turning into a confused frown.

“I’m not looking at the Slytherin table.” James lied, his eyes rolling before looking back down to pick at his food.

“Right..” Sirius slowly nodded.

“I’m not!” James tried to defend, but it came off more aggressive than he had originally hoped for, his own actions immediately throwing himself under the bus.

“Woah— calm down. We’re just messing with you.” Remus laughed lightly and James stared at him with his lids lowered before he scoffed and shoved a spoonful of mashed potatoes in his mouth. He hated mashed potatoes of course, but anything to keep himself from tattling on— well, himself.

The next day he had DADA class first thing in the morning, sitting at his assigned seat towards the back of his class, something he was grateful for because he could do his usual in class shenanigans. But— as soon as he was starting to get used to his new seat, the chair beside him was pulled out, and none other than you had sat down next to him.

He watched in shock as you set your books down and took your seat, slowly looking over at the dark curly haired boy who sat next to you. You looked confused as to why he was looking at you the way he was.

“Do you need something, Potter?” you asked, his last name falling off your tongue with ease and he had wished for nothing more than for you to say his first name.

“Oh— uhh.” he stammered, why was he freezing? He never froze, he was James Potter for Merlin’s sake. The king of flirting, so this was very unusual for him. Say something. Anything.

“Nope, everything’s good.” he breathed out finally, looking away awkwardly. Why did he have to be so awkward? He was ruining his chances with you, which were already very slim considering who you were, who your family was.

Pureblood family, strictly Slytherin. Just like Sirius’ family. You were what some called the pureblood princess, untouchable unless you were raised just as you were. James definitely wasn’t, but that wasn’t going to stop him. Hopefully..

“Good, I was beginning to think you didn’t like me sitting here.” you joked, something you didn’t do very often. In fact you were usually very quiet, really only spoke when you were spoken to. Just as you were taught growing up.

“Oh no, you can sit here— I mean I want you to sit here..” he stuttered again, but looked back up at you again.

“I have to sit here.” you smiled, this playful smile that made his heart skip a beat and he laughed lightly.

“Right yeah, I suppose you do.” he motioned towards the seating chart displayed on the chalkboard in front of the room.

You scoffed, shaking you head before looking down at your DADA book, opening it up and tucking your hair behind your ear to expose a bit more of your face.

The entire class James was trying to find some excuse to talk to you, yet he couldn’t find any reason to. Only small stolen glances in your direction, watching as you paid attention to the professor and wrote little notes with a quill on a blank sheet of paper.

Then class had ended, and just as soon as you came, you left. James sat for a moment, leaning back in his seat and sighing audibly before standing up and walking into the hallway.

“When did you start getting whipped for Y/N?” Remus appeared beside James, which he sighed in relief seeing who it was.

“Merlin, you scared me Moony.” he rolled his eyes.

“Well, are you gonna answer me?” he asked.

“I’m not whipped for Y/L/N.” he stared forward, not wanting to look at Remus because he knew his face would betray him once again, just as it did the night before.

“Right, you can lie all you want but I saw you staring at her that entire class when Lily was sitting right in front of you.” Remus exposed him. “Better not tell Sirius, he’d get pissed if he found out you like a girl like Y/N.” he warned his friend.

“I’m not, so you have nothing to worry about.” James defended his actions, but he knew he had been caught.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Remus teased.

The rest of the day he couldn’t stop thinking about you, the face you make when your focused and how you smiled at him at the beginning of class. He tossed and turned in his sleep thinking about it, groaning as he shoved his pillow over his face in frustration. It was like his crush on Lily but a million times worse and he couldn’t understand why. Why was he suddenly so head over heels for the pureblood princess?

The following weeks seemed to go by rather slowly and he tried to blame it on him just being ready to finish school, but in reality you were stuck in this special little place in the back of his mind. He saw you in the library every Thursday, his day to study and catch up on homework before the weekend.

You had barely spoken to him too, randomly asking for a quill when you forgot one, him asking for a piece of parchment paper when he had ran out. Helping answer questions for each other when the two of you got a bit confused, but that was it.

Lily even spoke to him more than you did, and yet every time him and the red head would talk he didn’t get the same feeling the previous years when the girl gave him attention, he had secretly wished it was you talking to him.

But after almost a month of little words exchanged, something had changed, he had stood up for you.

It was in DADA, the class was learning about the Imperius when a Ravenclaw students decided to make a very mean joke towards you.

“Alright students, today we will be learning about the curse that controls the mind. It is called the Imperius curse, it is very dangerous and it is very important you know how to protect yourself from it.” the professor explained.

“Protect ourselves from it, or from people like Y/N’s family?” the witty Ravenclaw girl spoke up. James looked up from his book towards the girl, then towards you. Usually when someone made a sly comment like that you would fire something mean back, but your face told a different story.

Tears filled your eyes and you looked at the girl who had a smirk on her face. “Now that’s quite enough, Miss. Golding.” the professor warned.

“That was a real bitch move, Grace.” James said towards the girl, which caused you to look at him in shock. Was James Potter really standing up to the Ravenclaw to defend you? He had ignored your every move for years and yet here he was actually being nice. Shocking, to say the least.

“That’s detention for you, Mr. Potter.” the professor sighed.

“That’s not fair, Grace said something first.” James defended his actions.

“Okay, detention for you too, Miss. Golding.” the Ravenclaw sighed.

James looked over at you and shot a small smile on your direction, you smiled back.

After class you found James in the library studying and approached the table he sat at by himself. “Hey, uh—” you started awkwardly. “Thanks for defending me in class earlier, you really didn’t have to do that.” you smiled.

“Of course.” he said softly, a small smile on his face as well.

“Sorry you got detention.” you pressed your lips into a line. You really did feel bad, and felt like it wasn’t deserved that he got detention for standing up for another student when they couldn’t.

“It’s okay, it was worth it.” he shrugged and leaned in a bit closer. “Between you and me Grace is a pain in the ass.” he joked, earning a breathy laugh from you.

“Yeah, she is.” you nodded. “Do you usually study alone?” you asked. James froze yet again.

“Uh— yeah. Usually.” he looked down.

“Do you care if I sit?” you questioned, motioning to the chair on the side of the table next to him.

“What? Oh, no. Not at all.” he motioned towards it. “Please.” he came off as desperate, mentally face palming.

“Okay.” you laughed again, sitting down and setting your books in front of you. The two of you spent an hour sitting side by side in silence, and every once in a while he peaked over his book to take a look at you. He couldn’t help it, you really were those one of a kind girls.

“James!” he heard his name get called, looking over to see who the feminine voice was. Lily Evans, of course it was. How come when he finally was moving on she seemed to appear more often?

“Lily.” he nodded towards her as she approached him. “Can I study with you?” she asked, her eyes darting over at you and then back at James. You stared up at her for a moment.

“Oh, look at the time! I best get going before my friends start wondering where I am.” you said, gathering your things and shoving them into you arms. “See you around, Potter.” you smiled in his direction before walking off.

“See— see you.” he muttered to himself, finding himself watching as you left.

“James?” Lily called, snapping him out of his gaze.

“Yeah? Oh, yes! You can sit, study— yeah.” he nodded before looking down at his book. But he didn’t steal glances at Lily, in fact he stayed glued to his DADA boom instead.

Every Thursday after that the two of you sat in the library and studied for an hour, and every single time Lily would come in and ask to study, and every single time you would leave when she did.

You knew Lily Evans didn’t like you that much, not very many people did. It was hard to like someone who came from the background you did, you understood that. What you couldn’t understand is why James Potter was suddenly being so nice to you? It was like a switch in his brain flipped over the summer, his usual cold demeanor towards you turned into a warm and welcoming one.

So one day as you sat reading next to James, he finally spoke to you, causing you to look up from the notes you were writing. “What are you doing this weekend?” he asked.

“What?” you asked shocked.

“What are you doing this weekend?” he repeated and you stared for a moment completely dumbfounded. You set down your quill.

“I’m not sure.” you shrugged, because you weren’t sure. You usually sat in the Slytherin common room with your friends and talked about your week with each other, talked about your families or sat in silence. It was boring.

“Wanna go for a walk around the Black Lake?” he asked casually.

“Why? You’re not going to push me in or anything, right?” you joked and he laughed.

“No, I’m not going to push you in.” he smiled.

“So— why then?” you repeated.

“Sirius and Remus are going on a date, Peter is hanging out with Marlene, and I like to go on walks with my friends on the weekends.” he shrugged.

“Oh so we’re friends now?” you teased.

“Of course! We sit with each other every Thursday and next to each other everyday in class.” he explained further.

“I will go if you answer one question for me.” you decided.

“Shoot.” he leaned back in his chair.

“What happened?” you asked, he furrowed his eyebrows, unsure of what exactly you were asking. “I mean, something must’ve happened over the summer. Before you used to hate me, and tease me.” you explained.

“So what happened? Why are you defending me now and hanging out with me?” you looked at him. James thought for a moment.

“I don’t know, I guess I changed my mind— about you.” he looked at you, his face relaxed as he searched for any reaction on your face.

“Changed your mind what about me exactly?” you dived deeper.

“I already answered your question, are you in or not?” he asked.

“James.” you warned, earning a sigh from him. He really didn’t want to have to ever explain this to you.

“You, your family, they stand for everything I’m against.” he replied honestly. “But at the beginning of the year when you walked onto that train, I don’t know how to explain it but, you changed. You looked really well, happy. Very unlike your family.”

“Classic me, came back to seventh year all pretty.” you joked, looking away, but his words stung. All these years he saw you just as everyone else did. Your unforgiving last name revealing who you were supposed to be.

“Not just pretty, Y/N, you looked happy.” he reiterated. You looked back up at him. “Besides, you’ve always been pretty. I was too sucked up in the rumors to notice it.” he looked at you deeply, like he was the first person in this entire school to see you.

“What about Lily Evans, is she too busy?” you questioned.

“I don’t know.” he shrugged, he was being honest. He hadn’t asked Lily what she was doing. “I asked you what you were doing, not Evans.” he smiled.

“Okay, I’ll go to the lake this weekend. But I swear if you push me in—” you started to get defensive but James only laughed.

“I’m not gonna push you in. What, are you afraid of water?” he teased.

“I can’t swim, and I’m not just saying that to sound cute. Like I would literally die if I fell in the water.” you replied honestly.

It was potions, and of course you were struggling, yet the brunette curly haired boy who sat next to you just threw the ingredients in the cauldron without a second thought and still it came out perfectly. Merlin it made your blood boil. Ever since you swore you were going to be better than him, you didn’t know why. Your parents were chill when it came about good scores. Maybe it was because you wanted to give the cocky boy a reason to be— well, not cocky anymore.

So here you say in History of Magic class beside Regulus, trying to ignore him as much as possible while the teacher gave directions on how they would like the essay written and what they would like it to be along the lines of. You stared up at the front while Regulus annoyingly stared at you, and all you could think was do better, be better, beat him. Over and over in your mind hoping some sort of manifestation could come about it.

Then they were off to the races, the professor giving them the okay to start. You wrote quickly, adding in as many words as you could to fill up the page. Just as you were done you slammed your quill down. “Done!” you yelled and everyone looked up from their previously preoccupied eyes. You cleared your throat. “Done..” you said much quieter this time and looked at Regulus who’s paper was only half way written.

“Look at that.” you teased and he looked up at you with a smirk because he knew it would make you upset. “Do you want me to wait for you?” you fake pouted and he rolled his eyes trying not to smile. You leaned back in your chair as he continued to wait, your eyes trailing around the room. You grew bored waiting for him to finish. You grabbed a piece of crumbled up paper and threw it at him and he slowly turned around with furrowed eyebrows.

“Can you stop flirting with me?” Regulus said to poke fun at you. You rolled your eyes. Today was the day you were going to flirt back because honestly you were sick of his stupid little comments, that you secretly didn’t hate, you wondered how he would react if you were to send something back his way. So without missing a beat you came right back at him and his dumb remark.

“What’s wrong, afraid of temptation?”

You had whispered the words in a rather enticing tone and you watched as Regulus’s face dropped from a smirk right back to confusion. Your heart skipped a beat, had you upset him? He turned away from you and you leaned back up to a straighter position in your seat.

But what was Regulus thinking? Well he was torn between two sides. On one hand, he really liked teasing you. He liked talking to you everyday, he liked you. So much in fact that he wrote the paper in front of him unbearably slow just so he could see that victorious smirk of yours.

But on the other hand he knew he couldn’t. Regulus couldn’t be with you, it just wasn’t in the books for him. His parents had a plan for him. You weren’t in that plan, and that pained him. So he became a bit standoffish after that because a small part of him knew you liked him, and he couldn’t have you.

Everything had to be perfect for them. You had to be sorted into Slytherin, you had to have good grades. You were only allowed to be friends with those who had blood as pure as yours. You couldn’t go out partying because it would ruin the rather flawless identity they had created for you. No sitting improperly, no foul language, and absolutely no dating. That wasn’t your choice, it was theirs. They were to pick who you would spend the rest of your life with, who you would have heirs with, and that was it.

Your mom sent you a letter saying how proud she was of you for not compromising yourself and that she had found the perfect match for you as soon as your graduate. Perfect. You hoped that was the case, though it was likely far from that. He was probably a man who sook for a wife to give him what he wanted and to never have anything more than that. Marriage gave a person freedom in the pureblood society. The husband would have secured a child to carry on the family name and then he could move on, and the wife was to be content with taking care of said child until her time was over.

That was your life, and that sent shivers down your spine and sent tears to your eyes. School was an escape, something you will forever be grateful for. You made friends despite your parents practically choosing them for you, you learned of amazing things. Perhaps the most important part was you met Regulus. Well, you had known him before from family parties and such. But you had really met the boy in school. You got to know every aspect of him. The way he cares about his older brother even if he pretends he doesn’t, the way he has to wear his family ring on a specific finger because it bothers him if he doesn’t. You learned he loved to play the piano, and that he spoke french since he was a kid. You learned of his kindness, how he came off as mean and cold but nonetheless would do anything for his friends. Anything for you.

So here you sat in the window sill of the common room, a blanket wrapped around you and tears down your face. Reality setting in that this was the last time you could be a kid, that you were going to be a wife sooner than you would like. It made you want to run away and never look back even though you knew you never would have the guts to leave everyone so easily. It was tempting though.

“Hey, I was wondering if you knew where—” Regulus started when he stopped in his tracks. He noticed the tears on your cheeks as you quickly turned away and wiped them. His breath caught in his throat. What was wrong? You were always so full of sunshine and now here you sat crying in the common room. “Are you okay?” He asked softly, taking a step closer. You wanted to nod your head and tell him that you were just fine, but something in your heart couldn’t lie to your best friend.

“No.”

Simple words yet they had so much meaning. You were done being perfect, done lying. You wanted someone to know the truth about you, your situation. What you were forced into once you were graduated and done with Hogwarts. You told him everything, about how you were raised, the man you were going to marry. You broke down, and Regulus did what he did best, he listened. He knew how you felt because his parents were very similar to yours. His heart broke knowing you endured the same pressure he did.

“I don’t know if I can take it anymore..” You cried and he looked up at you with sad eyes. He had an idea, but he wasn’t sure if it was the smartest. Regulus didn’t care though, he would do anything for you. Start a war, make an army. He would die for you. So without another thought he spoke the words you never thought you’d hear from him.

“Marry me.”

The words sent a shock into you. Your eyebrows contorted into confusion. “What?” You asked, unsure as you heard him correctly. “Marry me.” Regulus repeated in a whisper. You blinked, looking at him with pure shock. “Regulus—” You wanted to ask him a million questions, but he interrupted.

“I’m a pureblood Slytherin of great wealth, I don’t see why your parents would protest against me.” He explained, standing up from the sitting position he was in next to you. “You would be married like they wanted, and you’d be much happier with me than him because I—” He searched for his words for a moment. “Because I love you, y/n.” Your heart sunk into your stomach. There was no way that the Regulus Black, son and only hope for House of Black, loved you? After all this time, and he didn’t say a single word about it.

“Or at least I think I could..” He said nervously, regretting his choice of words unsure how you would feel about the strong words that came so suddenly. “We could be happy, much happier than how we would end up.” He explained to you. “Regulus— I could not ask you to sacrifice that much for me.” You shook your head. “But what if I want to?” He asked you, hoping for something to come from this. You stared at him for a moment, speechless.