rosé flowing with your chosen family

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

Given Miss Piggy being who she is I think the sirens are just. Advertising chocolate, jewellery, and luxury goods.

Meanwhile Kermit's back in Ithaca, organizing a talent show/contest to judge the merits of his suitors, only to sabatoge them each night so the next day is a disaster....

Instead of Odysseus' bow, Kermit will marry whatever woman (or pig) can destroy a series of targets with karate chops while singing an aria.

hey, don't cry. fictional character in dire & perilous situations. ok?

atheist quarterback throws a hail darwin

agnostic quarterback throws a hail maybe

hey girl. Is that the petrova line in your pants or is your penits bleeding

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

first mammoth to get hit with a spear mustve been like actually fuck you for real

I think this applies to every mammoth hit by a spear

no the rest of them didn't mind

apparently vic’s vapor rub goes exitinct ? i’ve been using the same vapor rub for years and apparenlty it went bad in the 2010s ..

expired .