Suum Cuique

“There’s the little  one too,” Russia  said, eyeing Germany standing next to the wall, awkwardly looking at the dancing guests  unsure of what to  really do. “But which old times?”

Prussia glanced absentmindedly at his brother and then turned his attention back to Russia once more. “Oh  yeah him,  but you and me both know I’m the one in charge, “ Prussia said smugly.  “And you know, the Holy Alliance and  before that when we kicked Poland’s ass and took what land was rightfully ours,” he let out a  bark of a laugh at  the  memory. “Good times!” he leaned in slightly towards Russia and  added, “When  shit calms down and foreign relations allow it I wouldn’t mind doing that  with you again.”

Russia didn’t get it, “And with those two?”

Prussia frowned, “I mean if we have to…but  just us is  ideal.”

Russia mulled the proposition over and said, “I suppose I wouldn’t be opposed  to that under the right circumstances. Austria is rather annoying after all.”

Prussia laughed, “You got that right!” and as he spoke a dancing couple passed  them by. “So you like dancing?”

“‘Hmm, I simply prefer to watch.” Attending  was already far too much social version for his taste, even if he could be rather graceful despite his size.

“Oh  that’s too bad. I love that shit, but you wouldn’t even wanna dance with me?“

Russia gave him a disdainful look, “If you love it so much why not dance with one of the many women here?”

“Ha ha, it was just hypothetical,  you took me so seriously it’s like you wanted me to ask you. Most people do though,I mean it’s me.“ Except Prussia had not been bluffing, but no one needed to know that. “Anyway the women here are too boring for me, they’re not worth my time.”

“And yet here you are talking to me.” Russia said.

“Yes, because you’re actually interesting, almost as much as me, but not quite. You know if there were no women here at all I would  actually ask you for real.”

Russia was both bemused  and puzzled. You’re very odd”

Prussia just asked, “So you’d say yes?” Russia remained impassive, “Who knows, such a situation would  never happen regardless. Perhaps  keep your hopes on an alliance only.”

“Well that’s what I really want  anyways. I love dancing but I love alliances even more. And they’re more special too,” Prussia grinned after saying this, then added a wink, both of which puzzled Russia even more.

–

years later Gilbert,  thinner and dressed far more casually, was sitting Russia’s living room flicking though his phone. Just then Russia came in, though from the way he ignored Gilbert was clearly occupied by something else. ”Hey, you’re actually here! Hey, hey lets hang out, let’s do  something, not cause I wanna but because you’re clearly deprived of me.”

It was only then Russia looked at him, “If you say so.”

Prussia’s face fell slightly, “Are you busy with important shit?”

“Hm, well there was simply something on my mind.”

“Maybe you need a break then" Gilbert said, patting the seat next to him. “I mean working hard is good, but sometimes you gotta let a engine cool down so it doesn’t overheat.”

“I suppose there’s   some point to that,” said Russia after a pause and  then  going over to Gilbert and sitting down next to him.

“You know I was just thinking-””

“How terrible,” Russia said, a slight mischievous tone in his voice.

“Very funny, but I was just thinking of the past and myself and sometimes you too. I was  reading the wikipedia about  our alliances….because the random links I clicked  lead me to it, and I was looking up something important beforehand  and not killing time,” he added quickly.

“Hmm, if you say so.”

“Yeah, so I was reading about that and remembering. Wasn’t it great being allies and dealing with diplomatic shit and manipulating others so that we could maintain a balance of powers while still being powerful and influential ourselves and steering the course of destiny of Europe to our iron wills? My blood gets all boiled and excited just thinking about it.”

Indeed Russia noticed  how Prussia’s eyes lit up with a fire that had once been so common before and how his voice became faster and filled with more joy and passion. Now he too was nostalgic.

“I remembered something else too during that time,“ continued Gilbert.

“Oh? What was it?”

“Remember right after the alliance of  the three emperors we had this ball and I was there and you were there? And I remember i asked you about dancing.”

“Yes, I do happen to recall that.” He did indeed remember, after all it was not so long ago even if it did  seem like a whole other world to him now.

He remembered  the bright glowing lights, the laughter, and talk that flittered about them. He  remembered the colorful gossamer gowns and the sharp step of black military boots as the people around them danced  romantic waltzes or lively mazurkas with the music filling the air with life and passion. He remembered glimpses of smiles, sighs, blushing girls, young solders, bored statesmen, all filled with life now withered away and vanished into the mists of time and memory with only the latter remaining. Meanwhile Russia himself sailed inwards on the oceans  of the former leaving them all behind as the ghosts of the past, only  able to look back with a bittersweet pang in his worn heart.

He also remembered Gilbert,

No, rather he remembered Prussia,,

He remembered him as he once was, filled with power and authority. Not as the fractured shadow of that past which was  beside him now after essentially selling his soul in a desperate but futile bid for survival to become what he would be decades later.  Yes he remembered that long gone Prussia well.

The presence beside him was now worn and withered away, despite his still present ambition and cunning. But  he recalled the ambitious, hungry, and cunning look in  his devious eyes and how  they both intruded and made him wary. He had been a  power worthy of both taking into consideration and of being cautious around.

He even remembered how he had  dressed; in his dark military uniform, form fitting and sharp on his body and bedecked with his military medals, with the Iron Cross and the Pour le Mertie taking the place of pride and prominence  right on his chest.

He remembered too his offer and in fact  recalled it with regret, regret at the fact that he had turned him down, but also regret at the knowledge that acceptance would have been impossible as well. That time was gone, receding into fog and overtaken by tragedy, violence, hope, and failure. It would never return and was utterly impossible to resurrect it. Those lives with their hopes, dreams, ambitious, and loves, along with that Prussia he had once known, had been snuffled out and stifled, one by one, some fading away and others  with violence and force.

In the end it did not matter. They  were left behind, and it  was his destiny to go on ahead alone. There was sorrow in Russia’s heart, but he revealed nothing.

“Why do you bring it up?” he asked.

“I was just thinking, you turned me down back then, but would you say yes now?”

It was not the same and yet- “I suppose it wouldn’t do too much harm to indulge you.” A hint of a soft smile was on his lips. “However it’s not much of a ball with only us no music.”

Gilbert waved a hand in dismissal. “We only need us and that’s what the internet’s for!” And with those words and a few taps of his fingers  his phone was on youtube playing one of the songs that had been new so long ago. “Maybe we can’t do a mazurka, but a waltz is good right? Hey hey remember when waltzes used  to be scandalous?”

Russia mused that it indeed almost seemed quaint now.

Gilbert got up and pulled Russia up from the sofa. “Ok, ok I’ll lead!” he said, holding the nation’s hands in his own.

“Oh?” Russia said. “Aren’t I taller? I’m  afraid I’ll have to lead. I think I’d be unable to dance with a smaller partner leading.” And although he masked it Russia was amused at the inevitable win he would achieve for he was right and Gilbert knew it.

“That’s not even  fair,” Gilbert pouted.

”but it’s very fair   I   should think, not t hat either of us are ever concerned with   fairness much.”

“Ok yeah, but what do I get out of this?” Russia pretended to look surprised as he drew Gilbert closer to himself and slowly began to waltz with him . “Oh? I’m surprised you don’t know, the fact  that i’m even dancing with you in the  first place.”

Gilbert scoffed, “I’m not that desperate, or desperate at all.”

“In that case I suppose it’s best if we stop then.”

Well really he was that  desperate and so Gilbert quickly  said, “But we can’t stop now, it‘s too late! we’re already dancing and the music’s playing , so we have to keep going.  I guess cause I’m so generous to you I’ll just let you lead then, so be grateful to me.”

There was  a smug grin plastered on his face but Russia ignored this irritating sight and merely said, “Very well.” and then the two danced wordlessly, with only the music surrounding them.  

It was Gilbert who broke the silence, “Do you wish we could have done this back then, even  in private?”

There was more silence  between them, but then Russia said,  ”It’s useless to wish for the impossible.” It was only right after he spoke that  it hit Russia that that was now what Gilbert  spent every day doing. “But I suppose it would have been nice,” he added and thought privately to himself, ‘to be with you as you once were.’

“”Yeah, it would’ve been interesting,”Gilbert said. They continued to dance, gazing into each other’s eyes as they did so.”But at last we got to do this now,” But it just wasn’t the same, and they both knew it, even if it remained unsaid.

Notes:

The League of the Three Emperors was an alliance between Imperial Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Russia in 1873 and lasted until 1880, it began at the behest of Bismark and ended due to conflict between Russia and Austria Hungary. Later in 1887 Prussia would enter a short alliance in Russia with the Reinsurance Treaty but would not go on after Bismark's death.