i think every news headline from now on should end with āWhat does it portend?ā

ē„ę„ / Permanent Vacation

if i look back, i am lost

Kaledo Art
hello vonnie
Three Goblin Art

Origami Around
Claire Keane
KIROKAZE
AnasAbdin
One Nice Bug Per Day
dirt enthusiast
I'd rather be in outer space šø

Love Begins
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

todays bird
noise dept.
Stranger Things

seen from Türkiye
seen from United States

seen from Russia

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Russia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from China

seen from Indonesia
seen from United States

seen from France
seen from France
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
@thebitterflamingo
i think every news headline from now on should end with āWhat does it portend?ā

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Teacher: Mr Wayne, thank you for coming in. We need to talk about Damianās family tree project. Firstly, he is claiming his mother is Talia al Ghul, the renowned terrorist.
Bruce: Ah, yes, well she is.
Teacher: I'm sorry? You and her... None of my business. Now he claims his grandfather, uh, Ra's... He claims he is 687 years old. That can't be right.
Bruce: It's not. Me and him are in a disagreement about it. I think Ra's is only 679 but you know what Damianās like.
Teacher: I... I guess so. Now in this section he did on his siblings, he has included Jason Todd, which I thought was very sweet of him only he. Well, he gives him one birth and death date and then he includes a 'rebirth' date and when I asked him about it... Mr Wayne, are you alright?
Bruce: *tearing up* He listed all his siblings. Even Tim!
Bruce Just-became-a-parent Wayne having no idea what things he should or shouldn't allow because, well, no one told him 'No' growing up.
And just letting Dick get away with the most insane shit.
*At a fundraiser*
Random rich lady:... I can't believe how these young people are behaving! All covered in tattoos and piercings, God.
Bruce: Right, right.
Random rich lady: I would never allow my children to do something like that, In my timeā
Bruce: You Wouldn't!????
Random rich lady: Whaā No! Of course I wouldn't! Beside, my kids are too youngā
Bruce: YOUR FIFTEEN YEAR OLD KIDS ARE TOO YOUNG!??
Random rich lady:
Bruce: Shit. FUCK. Excuse me, I need to make a call. *dials number furiously*
Bruce: Alfred! I need you to stop Dick at front door. Do NOT let him leave the house!
*A month lather*
Dick entering Bruce's office: Hey, Bruce!
Bruce: Hey, Chum. What is it?
Dick: I just wanted to remind you that you promised to get me a certain something for my birthday next week.
Bruce: Oh, right...
Dick: Yeah, wouldn't want you to "change your mind" like with the piercing. You did promise, after all...
Bruce:
Dick: And it would be pretty villainous of you to break your promise... again.
Bruce:
Dick: Alright, that's all. Bye! *runs away*
Bruce, quietly picking up the phone:
Bruce: Hi, Mrs. McAllister. It's Bruce Wayne, we met at a fundraiser last month... Yes, the very same, heh...
Bruce: Say, hypothetically, if your kids were to ask for a motorcycle for their birthdays, that would be okay, right?
Bruce, closing his eyes: It wouldn't?... Right, of course. Fuck
people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.
you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.
like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.
wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?
batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing
the league:
batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Postureā¢: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*
the league:
batman:
batman: *coughs awkwardly*
superman: *sighs*
batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-
superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.
the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?
wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.
superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.
batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me
green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?
'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.
they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.
wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?
batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.
wonder woman:
green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?
superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.
the league:
batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...
the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?
'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.
the league, concerned:
superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-
batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!
superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.
bonus
the league, squinting at batman:
the league: ...
superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*
the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*
duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?
And then one day a small child thats clearly on stilts walks in and gaslights anyone that tries to say anything.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Bruce loves his family desperately but he's got one mode and that's detective mode lol
Prev / Index
Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)
You know those posts about one of Bruceās kids getting kidnapped and him having no idea which kid they have based on the vague descriptions heās given? Well now I canāt only imagine Bruce getting the dreaded call and immediately pulling out a guess who board filled entirely with his kids. Like
kidnapper: we have one of your children
Bruce: I have so many of those you need to be more specific
kidnapper: the loud and annoying one
Bruce, flipping down Cass and Duke: that does not help as much as you think it does
kidnapper: well he has black hair?
Bruce, flips down Steph: keep going
kidnapper: uhhhh? Heās short?
Bruce, flips down Dick and Jason leaving Tim and Damian: more specific
kidnapper: heās been condescending and judgmental since we got him
Bruce: yeah they both tend to do that
kidnapper: he keeps throwing around words I donāt understand
Bruce, realizing that Damian and Tim are significantly more similar than he thought: uhh more specific?
kidnapper: more?? look just wore us the monā WHEREāD HE HIDE A KATANA???
Bruce: ah you have Damian
Both Jasonās and Tim have a severe case of middle child syndrome as a middle child hereās an accurate representation of what that looks like:
BRUCE: Tim please, we just couldnāt come.
TIM: yeah sure but you were with dick the whole time.
BRUCE: HE WAS BLEEDING OUT.
TIM: OK AND I HAD A SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT??
BRUCE: god you and Jason act the exact same wayā¦.
TIM: pardon me? Itās not my fault you pay more attention to the demon child and dick more than us.
BRUCE: I spent all of last weekend with both you and Jason. What do you MEAN?!
Damian:Ā So whatās for dinner?
Dick:Ā I canāt tell you, itās a soup-prise!
Damian:Ā ā¦
Damian:Ā Is it soup?
Dick:Ā I soup-pose it could be! *winks*
Damian:Ā Please, enough with the soup puns!
Dick:Ā Wow, youāre soup-per mean.
Damian:Ā STOP!
*one hour later*
Damian:Ā Itās tacos?!?!?!
So mad at how long this took
Canon

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Instead of the curse you intended to lift, you have accidentally broken a curse so ancient that it was assumed to be a fundamental law of the universe.
*gasps*
~Gravity~ š„¹
Jason and Tim:
Dick: Jason, if you die again, do you want to be buried or cremated? Like, if you were hit by a bus today, what do I do?
Jason: Go after the bus driver and make him pay for what he did to me. Avenge me, Dick.
Damian, the one driving the bus: š
i do adore the aus where Damian and Jason are brothers from the league and Damian came to Gotham before Jason returned as Red Hood, because it gives me the image of Damian travelling to Gotham and trying to integrate himself into the family only to spitefully call Jason in the middle of the night after a week or two
Jason: isnāt it 2am where you are? why are you calling me?
Damian, whispering furiously under his bed: another boy got here before me and i need you to kill him
Jason:
Jason: huh?
Damian: some āTimothy Drakeā is TAKING MY PLACE-
Jason: the neighbour kid�
Damian: -RUINING MY SPOT AS ROBIN. I DEMAND YOU COME TO GOTHAM AND KILL HIM FOR ME.
Jason: ā¦why do i have to do it?
Damian: because Pennyworth wouldnāt let me when i tried.
Jason:
Jason: *deep sigh* i already told you, you canāt call me everytime you want somebody bumped off.
Damian: what about-
Jason: the time in france was a special circumstance because the guy was an ASS.
Damian:
Damian: :(
Jason: NO.
Damian: father has a glass case with your old Robin costume and a plaque that says āa good soldierā.
Jason, instantly: iāll be in Gotham by the end of the week.
Damian: :D
Nawh Jason would be like: taking YOUR place as Robin?? You mean heās taking MY PLACE! Hold on Iāll be right there. š«š”
i will forever stand by the fact that if Dick has eldest daughter syndrome then Jason has irresponsible estranged aunt syndrome.
Dick, to Damian: you have to hold my hand when we cross the street.
Damian: Richard-
Dick: LOOK BOTH WAYS
*meanwhile, two blocks away while Jason lets Tim do donuts on his motorcycle*
Jason, to Tim: yeah i can get us some weed. you know me and Roy used to take edibles and then take a bunch of paintball guns to an old abandoned railroad to role play as war veterans in the middle of a high-stakes battle, itās so fucking fun i gotta teach you and Dami sometime, just donāt tell Dick or Bruce-
Tim: *starry eyed, listening with awe*
Yes Jason is the wine aunt.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Cass: *hands Jason a Lego person* here. I made you. Jason: *confused, because there are no Lego sets with Red Hood* whatā *sees the Lego person, which has been cobbled together by combining a Deadpool head with a leather jacket, two guns and jeans* Cass: you do not like it? Jason: *sobbing* itās the best thing Iāve ever been given oh my gosh
Tim, holding something behind his back: donāt be mad.
Bruce, already getting mad: I wonāt get mad, you can always talk to me. Whatās going on?
Tim, revealing a swaddled baby: I messed up when cloning Kon and accidently spilt my DNA into it and now I have a clone baby with my dead situationship.
Bruce, flabbergasted: ..???
Bruce: why were you cloning- when did you start datin- Iām a grandpa?! No, go back, how did you āaccidentlyā spill DNA arenāt you paranoid too????
Tim, who may or may not have been crying over one of the clones and accidently cut his lip trying not to sob and got blood into a test chamber: thatās not important.
Bruce, hyperventilating: why is it so small????
Tim: cause sheās only two months old.
Bruce; I understand that, but even an average two month old should be-ā¦
Bruce: two.
Bruce: you said two months.
Tim: you said you wouldnāt get mad.
Bruce: you hid a baby for TWO MONTHS?!
Tim: I WAS PANICKING LEAVE ME ALONE!
Bruce: IVE BEEN A GRANDPA FOR TWO MONTHS AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME?!
Tim: WELL! I donāt know Iām seventeen, what did you expect?
Bruce, actively loosing brain cells: if you can clone your dead boyfriend-
Tim: we never actually started dating-
Bruce: -then you can tell your father you had a baby.
Tim: ā¦
Tim: Iām not exactly sure what stage of being an adult I am, I started a little young I think.
Tim: but I am a mother now so donāt you dare yell at me.
Bruce: ā¦
Tim: ā¦
Bruce: ā¦
Bruce: ⦠can I hold her?
Tim, grinning in victory: wash your hands first and then you can.
LATER:
Bruce: why is she a girl if you and Kon are both male?
Tim: are you questioning my babyās gender??? Thatās so homophobic, gay men can raise girls.
Bruce: you know damn well I didnāt mean-
To end the debates, men are XY and women are XX. So two men could have a girl, it would just be a 25% chance instead of the usual 50% chance. However, two women could only have female offspring. However, the whole debate is kinda whack as in a sci fi cloning scenario we donāt even know that the DNA would be split 50/50 considering that a viable clone likely already had a full set of chromosomes and portions would just have to be selectively replaced. Thank you for coming to my TED talk